leave this sad place

Chapter 143 Make Up
"This is the contract. How long do you want to rent?" The landlord conjured up two contracts and a pen.

"One year, and I'll be graduating in another year. No, one year may be too much, but one year and one month should be enough." Mother calculated on her own.

"Okay, then—" The landlord's face revealed a hint of joy.

"Half a year." There was another trace of sadness in Ouyang's eyes, and a trace of worry flashed across.He had no such plan at all, how did he come to this point?

The landlord was slightly taken aback, and the mother looked at him suspiciously.

"Live and have a look first." He said with a sigh, such an answer, such an explanation.He didn't know if he really meant it for his mother, or just for himself.

"Okay, let's rent it for half a year first." The mother didn't know if she really understood Ouyang's words, so she didn't force it.

"Yes, just sign on it. But the rent must be paid in one lump sum." The landlord drew up the contract.

Ouyang watched his mother sign the paperwork and pay the money, and his heart skipped a beat, with an indescribable feeling.It wasn't what he thought, and he never thought it would be.But everything has already been done like this, and it is difficult to change it even if you want to.

"Talk slowly, you two, then I'll leave first. I live downstairs, and you can come to me if you need anything in the future." The landlord's face showed a hint of joy, and he left a few words on the spot Did not go back.

"Find a place to sit down. I'll clean up the house first." After saying this, the mother got busy.

Ouyang felt even more lonely in his heart. Did this place become his home?But why didn't I feel the slightest joy in my heart?And all of this is not how it should develop!

"I want to take a look on the balcony at the back." Ouyang looked at his mother's busy figure, he wanted to say something but hesitated whether to say it, and didn't know how he should say it now.There was an inexplicable meaning in his eyes, but his pupils became a little dim.

"Okay, just go in through that door." Mother pointed to the smaller room.

Ouyang walked silently step by step, like a traveler, like a passer-by.

He glanced around, there was a pool in the middle of a balcony of more than ten square meters, but there was no water in the pool, let alone fish; a few pots of flowers were placed on the edge of the pool, and some gray-green flowers were drooping feebly. body; three sides of the balcony are surrounded by cement to form a small flower bed.A few short and small trees were planted in this flower bed, a cluster of green bamboos that didn't grow too big or tall, and a purple grape.

Ouyang looked at it silently, but he still didn't like it at all, because this place couldn't give him the slightest familiar feeling.No matter how beautiful the scenery is, if it can't give the heart a warm feeling and a little tender feeling, it will still be a cloud of the past after all.

He looked up, the blue sky was still far away, and the white clouds were still leisurely.But why do you feel a strange feeling?Is it really because of the different places?Ouyang was a little sad, and the light in his eyes became even weaker.

"I'm going back." Ouyang sighed, turned around, and said to his busy mother.

"Go back? Where are you going back?" She asked, without putting down the broom, and asked casually.

"Go back to school, back to the dormitory." There was another flash of sadness in his eyes.

"Oh, yes, you have to go back to school and move all your things here." She was still so casual, so natural, as if everything should be like this.

"I—" Ouyang's voice carried an indescribably sad feeling.

"You go, remember to come back early and have lunch together." After she finished speaking, she ignored him and tidied up the somewhat messy "home" by herself.

Ouyang stood there dumbly, his eyes became a little dazed again.How did all this happen?His eye sockets were slightly rosy, and some faint light was flickering.

He was walking on the street in a daze, and all kinds of chaotic voices came into his ears.But Ouyang felt that his heart was empty, entangled with a deadly loneliness, which made him feel lonely.This kind of loneliness seems to not belong to this world, and it seems to have existed since ancient times, but few people experience it.

Ouyang's face showed a look of joy and tears, he didn't know whether he was right or wrong to call her back.Why is this happening?His heart was unable to cry anymore.

Suddenly, he had the idea of ​​leaving just like that, going to a place where they would not find themselves and no one knew him, and start a new life in such a place.

But he was a little depressed again, is it really useful to escape like this again and again?If it was really useful, he wouldn't be like this.

He went back to the dormitory silently, packed his things silently, and after packing everything, he silently looked at the place where he had lived for two years.I didn't have the excitement and joy after leaving, nor the reluctance and loss in my heart.

There is no place for the soul to live, and it is a wandering wherever it goes.For him, it was just wandering from one place to another.And home is still so far away, and there is still no shadow of it.

In the end, he glanced at the window with a complicated look. If he really wanted to say that there was something worth caring about in this place, it could only be the window.

He watched the dormitory administrator go through the formalities casually, without asking him the slightest reason; he listened to the teacher in charge reply "Got it", and hung up the phone.He silently took one last look at the girls' dormitory, maybe Yushu was still muttering in there, maybe Sun Xiaohong was also muttering in there.But what does it matter?
He dragged the suitcase silently and walked silently.All this was like a dream, but there was a tingling feeling in his heart from time to time, reminding him that all of this was true.

He opened the door without saying a word, but felt a little heavy in his heart.

"You're back." His mother walked up to him, wanting to take his suitcase.

"I'll do it myself." He held on tightly, as if grasping the only life-saving straw in his life, not letting go, not letting go.

"Where's all this?" he asked, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"You can put it wherever you want." She smiled slightly.

But he was still very cautious in his heart. This place not only gave him a strange feeling, but also made him feel a little depressed.

"Come out and eat after you put it away." She warned, then turned and went to the stove to cook.

He smelled the tempting aroma from the food, and the hunger in his belly didn't make him feel a little bit of happiness and satisfaction.His heart was still empty, and the loneliness seemed to have taken root. Even if it was pulled out, the roots still penetrated into the bone marrow.

"How about a taste of my cooking?" She filled his bowl with vegetables and looked at him with joy.

He put down the bowl and chopsticks after taking a small bite, but his stomach was still hungry.

"What? It's not delicious." She frowned slightly, and took a bite and put it in her mouth.The slightly frowned brows deepened, not because it was unpalatable, but because of confusion.

"No appetite." He shook his head slightly, his eyes a little sad.

Was she doing it to give him a sense of home?Is she doing this to make up for the love he lacked in his childhood?But isn't it too late for such an approach?Can those lost time really be redeemed in this way?

And is all of this what Ouyang hopes to get?He has long been used to the days when no one cares about him, although he is eager to get these, but can he really adapt?Can he really quickly integrate into this role that is about to disappear in his heart?

But why can't he feel the slightest warmth in his heart?But why is his heart still a little sad and a little heavy?

(End of this chapter)