leave this sad place

Chapter 144 Calm
"Okay, then what do you want to eat? Just tell me, and I'll make it for you at night." Mother thought for a while.

Ouyang shook his head slightly, this feeling, this kind of care made him feel a little uncomfortable, even scared.And it really shouldn't be like this!

"Then you can eat some more, you can't be hungry." She saw that he didn't take another bite, with an anxious expression on her face.

"I—" Ouyang's face showed a bit of sadness.Now that I have rented the house, I am almost busy with the busy things. It is really time to solve those things.

"What's wrong? Don't you feel well?" Her face was full of concern again.

Ouyang gave her a complicated look. I really don't know if she could see what he was thinking?Why did I ask her to come back? Why is such a simple and clear thing still like this now?

"It's okay." He sighed again, with a look of sadness in his eyes.

"Do you want to go to the hospital? In case—" she asked, wishing that he would go to the hospital right away.

He stood up suddenly, saw looking out of the window and interrupted her: "I want to go out for a while." Facing her nagging concern, he found that he really couldn't bear it.Over the years of indifference, encountering such care does not melt his frozen heart but shatters it.

"Okay, it's good to go out for a walk, you have a holiday today and you can relax yourself properly." She stood up as she said, and was about to change her shoes.

"I want to go out by myself. I've lived here for almost two years now, so I can't lose it." He sighed inexplicably, and felt ashamed for thinking that she was a bit annoying just now, after all She is her own mother, after all she cares about herself.

He closed the door silently, but didn't notice that she didn't continue to eat.

He walked heavily on the street, with sadness in his heart and a trace of hesitation in his eyes.What he had hoped for, what he was trying to solve, was as fruitless as ever.

"Are you still pretending you don't know anything?" He felt like crying, and his heart was as heavy as a stone.

"I really don't like it." He closed his eyes silently, feeling a kind of restraint and restraint in his heart, which made him want to fly but couldn't open his wings.

He wandered around helplessly, lost in this world like a ghost.

"Maybe it's good to get used to it slowly." He sighed inexplicably again, remembering how many times he wanted to open his mouth to talk to her about it, but he inexplicably endured it.His heart is still very weak, and his courage seems to have been released in the previous two days of venting.

"Maybe I just feel better for myself?" He shook his head helplessly, full of bitterness.Seeing her so busy, and caring so much about himself, he really couldn't bear to mention those old things to her.How could those things not be her pain?

"But what about the current self?" He was confused again, and now his heart was still heavy, bored and painful.

"Since it is doomed that someone will be hurt, let me bear it alone." He sighed secretly, thinking that he who was used to this kind of silently enduring the grief in his heart was just enduring it again.

"Are you back?" She opened the door and looked at him standing outside the door silently.

He glanced at her and knew what to say.When I lived alone before, when I returned home, there was nothing but the loneliness of the house.And now?Now that he was gradually silent, he didn't feel any so-called emotion except that he didn't get used to it.

"I don't know what you want to eat tonight, so I didn't go shopping anymore." She said cautiously, like a servant reporting today's home situation to the head of the family.

He still watched and listened silently, feeling a kind of sadness welling up in his heart.It wasn't everything he was used to, and what he was familiar with was getting away from him.

"By the way, are you hungry? I'll go and heat up those dishes right away." After she finished speaking, she went back to work.

He still stood silently, like a passerby.How could all of this give him a sense of familiarity?Maybe darkness and silence are the eternal color in his heart, maybe the silence here and now is just a familiar environment he subconsciously created for himself.

The hot dishes were served on the dining table, and a large bowl full of rice was placed in front of him. Such a life that was almost like stretching out his clothes to eat and opening his mouth made him feel no sense of enjoyment in his heart.Because everything like this is not what he is familiar with, nor is it what he wants.

Some things are simply irreplaceable, he silently closed his eyes slightly, feeling that he still has no appetite, and his stomach is still hungry.

"Well, what's the matter? Do you still have no appetite? Do you want to go to the hospital now?" She asked again with concern, as if he had some kind of illness.

He still looked at her silently, he didn't have an appetite because he felt uncomfortable, if he was sick, it was just a heart disease.Besides, it's dark now and the hospital is closed, so where can I go to see a doctor?
He sighed softly, knowing that he had to eat a few mouthfuls of food, otherwise she would be suspicious and worry indiscriminately.And he didn't have the energy, and he didn't want to explain so much.

Seeing that he finally started to eat, she secretly breathed a sigh of relief.All of this is slowly entering the track she envisioned, and as long as this year is passed in a peaceful and smooth manner, the merits and virtues will be consummated.

"It's okay to be idle at home this afternoon, so I went out to play cards with some acquaintances for a while." She put down her bowl and chopsticks, and said carefully, not forgetting to look at his face.

Ouyang ate the rice in the bowl silently, staring at the bowl motionlessly, without any expression change on his face.

"You don't mind, do you?" She looked at him more closely, and didn't even miss the slight frown of his brow.

"Up to you." He chewed and swallowed the rice slowly, and he was not in the habit of talking while eating.After a pause, he continued, "That's your business."

"The main reason is that I have nothing to do when I stay at home." She explained slightly, and then said: "Why don't you buy a TV? Just a smaller size, so I can watch TV when I have nothing to do, so I don't have to go out And even if you don’t use it in the future, you can move it back and keep it at home.”

"Oh." He responded lightly, he didn't like to hear such trifles.Also, she asked for his advice on everything, which made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He, who was used to loneliness and indifference, felt not only uncomfortable, but also a subtle disgust for this sudden warmth.

"Then I'll go see what kind of TV to buy tomorrow. But I can't move it back by myself, so you have to help me carry it." There was a hint of joy on her face.

"I'm going to class tomorrow." Ouyang frowned slightly, this feeling made him feel very strange.

"Then wait until you're free." She looked at his slightly frowning brows, and didn't force her anymore, but she didn't back down either.

Ouyang ignored her and ate alone, not knowing what it was like.Her inquiry, her solicitation of opinions actually already had an answer, all she needed was a form.

"By the way, do you want me to get up and make you breakfast tomorrow morning?" She asked him again, as if she wanted to arrange everything and return everything to an ordinary person's house.

Ouyang hesitated, he hadn't had breakfast for a long time.High school is stressful, and he usually doesn't even have enough time to sleep, so how could he spend time on breakfast?
There was a bit of bitterness in the corner of his mouth, and he vaguely remembered someone asking him not to forget to eat breakfast in the morning.

"I don't have time." He shook his head slightly, as if trying to drive away the beautiful image in his mind.

"It's okay, I'll call you when I get up tomorrow morning, so you can go to school after eating."

"Then—alright." He nodded his head slowly, feeling a little bitter again.She is such a strong person, no matter how cautious she becomes, it is difficult to change her strong side. Although it is for her own benefit, Ouyang still doesn't like it very much.

"Then what do you want for breakfast?"

"Let's eat noodles, it's as simple as that." Ouyang put down the bowl and chopsticks, just after finishing this meal, he was already planning the next meal.

(End of this chapter)