leave this sad place

Chapter 15 Anxiety and Worry

People seem to grow up and mature inadvertently. It may take a day, or it may only need an epiphany or an imagination.

This week, Ouyang seems to have changed his gender, and he is no longer the same as before.The previous frivolity and joy made Ouyang feel a little uncomfortable, and even had a vague disgust, although it was as ethereal as a light smoke, it was real.

Recalling the experience of the previous week or two, Ouyang had the urge to scold himself.The second-to-last entrance exam, although it was shocking, regretful, and painful at the time, I made some plans for the future.But what about myself now?What are you doing yourself?

I often fight with Li Ting and have fun with Jieer, does this make any sense?Should I be happy?What else is there to be happy about?Ouyang thought about it secretly.Seeing Sun Xiaohong, who has been secretly in love with her, making out with other boys, is this something to be happy about?Thinking of my childhood experience, is this something to be happy about?Seeing the classmates in junior high school walking by like strangers, this, what is there to be happy about all this!
What is the purpose of coming here?Study hard, then you should study hard and study wholeheartedly! Why do you have to spend it like this?Ouyang blamed himself again.

So this week, Ouyang tried his best to control himself, and don't let himself waste time at will.Those perverse temperaments before have also restrained a lot.

It's Saturday in a flash.

This made Ouyang's slowly silent heart turbulent.Today I can go to my sister's house to find her again, Ouyang secretly fantasizes again.

For Xiaolan's love, Ouyang didn't deliberately suppress anything, so he didn't care too much about it.After all, she won't stay here for long, and besides, this is her teacher and her recognized sister, so it's perfectly normal to like her.I didn't think much about it.

The environment we live in always affects people's mood invisibly.

Today's sunshine is particularly bright and warm, and Ouyang's mood is also filled with joy.

"Call my sister first." Ouyang whispered to himself.But the voice on the phone was "Hello, the number you dialed has been shut down." Ouyang was slightly dazed, a little confused, and then looked at the time - eight o'clock in the morning.It's still early, maybe it's better to wait, Ouyang comforted secretly.

I wandered around the playground leisurely again, looking at the trees here, the flowers over there, and the scenery in the distance. "This week will start to change, and we can no longer be like before. We have to study hard." Ouyang reminded himself all the time, thinking, "However, studying also requires a combination of work and rest, so you should also relax appropriately. Take a look at yourself."

After waiting for a while, Ouyang continued to call Xiaolan, but it was still the voice prompt that had been shut down. Check the time again——08:30. "It's a holiday today, maybe my sister wants to take a good rest and hasn't gotten up yet." Ouyang found an excuse to comfort himself, but there was a faint worry in his heart.

The scenery on the playground seems to have become monotonous. "Take advantage of this time to exercise yourself." Ouyang decided to go for a run to pass the boring time.But running is another boring thing for Ouyang, because his brain is "idling" again while running.Ouyang always thinks about this and that at this time, but this time Ouyang thought of Xiaolan.

"Call her again." Ouyang sat on the edge of the playground, panting.

Another reminder that the machine has been shut down, it is now [-]:[-].This happened three times in a row, Ouyang frowned slightly, worry was etched on his face. "Is sister okay?" He couldn't help but doubt himself.

Nine o'clock, nine ten, nine twenty. .eleven o'clock.Ouyang called Xiaolan every 10 minutes, but it was always the voice prompt.Ouyang's whole heart became anxious. Maybe because of the time just now, sister Xiaolan hadn't had time to recharge her phone bill, but now - it's already eleven o'clock.Why hasn't she charged it?Or is she—?Will not.

"Maybe she forgot about it, maybe she will remember it soon." Ouyang comforted himself again.But he couldn't relax a little bit in his eyes and heart. Instead, he felt a faint feeling of uneasiness, which was quickly denied by him.

"Let's call again." Talking to himself is another comfort, a comfort that even he doesn't believe.Still calling Xiaolan every 10 minutes until one o'clock in the afternoon.As time went by, the uneasiness in Ouyang's heart gradually appeared, until he could no longer deny it, and gradually grew stronger, until he could no longer control it.

What's wrong?Ouyang could no longer suppress his imagination, and the uneasy, unbelieving, and unwilling conjectures remained in his head and could no longer come out.With a "gurgling" sound in his stomach, Ouyang realized that he hadn't eaten breakfast and lunch yet.Go to the cafeteria, the cafeteria is closed.I had no choice but to go outside the school and ordered a bowl of rice noodles. After two bites, I felt that I had no appetite and couldn't eat any more.After paying the bill, he hurried out of the restaurant without even taking the change he was given, and almost tripped himself when he reached the door.

Wandering aimlessly on the street, with deep anxiety and confusion in his eyes, he took out his mobile phone and dialed the same number from time to time. At this time, Ouyang seemed to have lost his soul.

What exactly happened here?What's the matter?Why is it still like that?why?Or—no, how could it be?Ouyang's heart is completely messed up at this time.

With a sound of "Bump—", Ouyang bumped into a tree, and his forehead immediately became red and swollen.Looking up, she was already downstairs where Xiaolan lived.Ouyang hesitated again, should he go up and have a look?
A strong uneasiness overcomes the shame of an inexplicable emotion. "Just go up and have a look, what's there to hesitate?" Ouyang scolded himself secretly, "What's wrong with me today?"

When Ouyang came to Xiaolan's door, he stopped again. He didn't know whether he should knock on the door or not.Even this was the easiest thing and the least hesitant thing, he was at a loss what to do.Looking at the door, there was a long silence.

Ouyang took out his mobile phone again and called Xiaolan again, but it was still the same.Look at the time again, it's past five o'clock.I couldn't help stretching out my hand to knock on the door, but when I was about to knock, I stopped again, sighed heavily, turned around, and walked towards the school.

Ouyang felt a kind of bewilderment, and walked vigorously and steplessly on the road. "What's wrong with me?" Ouyang secretly asked himself, but unfortunately no one could answer.A gust of wind blew by, and it was a little cold.Looking at the sky again, it turned out that it was almost dark.

Back in the dormitory, Ouyang was lying on the bed tiredly, picked up the phone and started playing persistently.Six o'clock, six ten, six twenty.

Ouyang's whole heart fell silent, like dead wood.

The dead wood sprouted buds, it was because spring had arrived; Ouyang's silent heart revived, it was because Xiaolan's phone finally got through.Get through!Not that voice prompt anymore!Ouyang's excitement and joy were intertwined, forming an indescribable feeling, and he almost shed tears!
With apprehension and eagerness, she quietly waited for Xiaolan's answer. "Hurry up, sister—" he murmured silently in his heart, and a little worry arose again, "What if no one picks up?"

Ouyang finally breathed a sigh of relief, because Xiaolan had already answered the phone.

"Sister, I—"

"Well, I'm busy muttering, I'll call you later."

"Okay." He said through gritted teeth.

"Beep-beep" the sound of hanging up the phone sounded.Ouyang looked at it, and a tear finally fell down.

(End of this chapter)