leave this sad place

Chapter 161 Changes
Such silence undoubtedly gave him another daydream, but does it matter?The most important thing is, can she make him believe again?Ouyang stared at the ceiling silently, his eyes became a little moist.

Entering the third year of high school, making up lessons is essential.Ten days later, Ouyang returned to school again.But he became a little dazed, and he didn't know what the study was for.Is it just to get into a better university?For Ouyang, who didn't care about these at all, and didn't bother to understand them, it doesn't matter whether a university is good or bad.Don't you need to go out to find a job after you graduate from university?It's not like having the same job, marrying a wife and having children in the same way.

So what is the purpose of reading?For yourself?Is it still so easy to starve people to death in today's society?Is it for a better life for yourself in the future?But these are not important to Ouyang at all, material prosperity is not what Ouyang pursues, even if it is an ordinary life, why not?

What else could it be for?For those close to you?But for Ouyang, is there anything else?Where is there any kindness but a bunch of people who make him sad?Maybe there are grandparents, but Ouyang doesn't want to think about it anymore, because they are all old. Whenever Ouyang thinks about it carefully, some bad guesses will involuntarily surface.

However, when I arrived in the classroom, I felt a tense atmosphere all the time.In addition, the class teacher, leader and principal wandering outside the classroom from time to time.This made Ouyang very disgusted, and even had an urge to resist.Because such a feeling of oppression made him uncomfortable, and he didn't like it very much.But how can you resist?
As for the teacher's lectures, Ouyang felt that they were becoming more and more boring. Sometimes they were just a waste of time, talking nonsense that couldn't help him.It's not even as easy and efficient as letting yourself go home and study by yourself.Such a school and such a situation made Ouyang feel a faint sense of fear.

Fear, so what should I do?Why don't you come?go home?What can I do after I go back?Do you study independently?After going back, Ouyang didn't want to do anything or say anything.And what about her?He felt that he really had no common words with her, and there was no need to communicate with her.However, that person still ran there from time to time, and sometimes stayed there overnight.This made Ouyang even more reluctant to go back. Apart from eating and sleeping in such a place, there was no need for Ouyang to go back at all.

From time to time, I always feel like a wandering lone wolf, as if there is no place for me in such a big world.Ouyang's heart became more depressed and depressed, sometimes like a stray wild dog wandering around the street corner from time to time, looking for something?What else can there be besides the incomprehensible loneliness and the bitter coldness?

Maybe that virtual world can give me the last breath of warmth.

Once again, Ouyang inevitably fell in love with the Internet and online games.But this time it was even more violent and crazier than the last time.There are even times when I just want to stay in the Internet cafe, I don't want to go to school, I don't want to go home, I just don't want to go back to sleep.

It is conceivable that the academic performance will drop and drop again, from the long silence after seeing the test scores drop for the first time, to the indifference after watching the test scores drop again and again.In fact, Ouyang's heart is not as peaceful as it appears on the surface, and he has also felt uncomfortable and grieved.But such sorrows are nothing compared with the deepest pain of the heart.Or maybe you just get used to the pain, like Sun Xiaohong, like Yushu, or even Jie'er.

Some things are indispensable, you will experience them after all, you will be sad after all, even if you are heart-piercingly sad, what can you do?What else is there to do but bear it irresistibly?

More and more indifferent, but more and more irritable temper.Ouyang feels like a powder keg that is about to explode. He is ten times more rebellious than when he was adolescence. Lesson learned obediently to cut off.And now?All he wants to do is to resist, to resist the school, to resist the family, to resist all kinds of suppressions, which make him feel uncomfortable and even a little bit about to suffocate.

The irritability in his heart made him more and more restless, and it became more and more difficult to sleep.From time to time, it is difficult to fall asleep, floating on the surface of sleep, even a gust of wind can wake him up; from time to time, he often dreams, and the dream is so bizarre. Once, someone was chasing him with a machete, and he ran away in a panic, pulling his body. The hem of the passerby's clothes, shouting for help.However, what he didn't expect was that the passer-by actually showed a ferocious face, and he pulled out a sharp knife shining with cold light from nowhere and slashed at him.He fled staggeringly again, his face full of fear, his eyes full of uneasiness, helplessly pulling the corners of one person after another, while more and more people were chasing him.Finally, he escaped to a big round square, a bustling square, a crowded square, and he yelled desperately for help.Unexpectedly, the bubbling square became quiet in an instant, and it became audible to hear a needle drop, and the dark crowd collectively pulled out their sharp knives and slashed at him.He had no escape, no escape, and finally closed his eyes in complete despair.

He woke up suddenly, cold sweat all over his vest.Such a dream, fortunately, is just a dream.

He sat quietly on the bedside, speechless for a long time, but his heart could not be calm for a long time.

He looked up out of the window, so gloomy that he couldn't tell the time.So he took out his phone and looked at it. It was almost twelve o'clock at noon.Only then did he slowly recall that today was Sunday, and he didn't have to go to school in the morning, and he went to the Internet cafe last night to stay up all night, and only came back this morning to sleep.

There was a knock on the door, and he heard someone coming outside.In fact, during this period of time, apart from that person, no one else came to visit.There was a sound of opening the door, and he knew that she had already opened the door.Then there was another sound of closing the door, and he imagined that the person had walked in.

From the rustling sound of shoes being changed, and the sporadic voices, he could tell that it was really that person.

Perhaps because of the influence of that dream, his heart became more and more irritable, and a cat's scratch-like discomfort emerged in his heart.Let him want to vent, want to shout loudly.

He exhaled heavily, and went to open the window and the door.So that the cold wind can pour in, dispel some of the stuffy heat in the room, and even suppress the irritability in my heart.But in this late summer season, it was still unbearably hot, and there was a sultry wind blowing under the gloomy sky.This made his heart restless again, but on the surface it was as dull as the weather.

Hot steam squeezed out from the small slit on the lid of the pot for ventilation. He glanced at it, but couldn't guess what she was cooking in it.He also looked at her who was busy by the stove from time to time, he didn't know how he should feel in his heart.Such a self, why does she still treat herself so indifferently?Is it to impress yourself?Can a heart that has been scarred for a long time still be moved?Such a kindness made him unwilling and unable to accept it, even if she was his mother.

If you accept it, you have to change yourself, obey her, listen to her words, and listen to her arrangements?If this is the price, he is absolutely unwilling to bear it, because he doesn't want to let his heart be in severe grief again!

Turning his head, Ouyang saw the figure of that person not far away.He glanced at that person with complicated eyes, his face became indifferent, and even his eyes slowly became cold.

(End of this chapter)