leave this sad place

Chapter 35
It's not that he hasn't thought about it, he just doesn't want to believe it.In his heart, or in his fantasy, the emotion between him and her will never fade, it will always be so pure and sincere!But is all this possible?Could he be being too wishful thinking?
But how could he think about it that way?Apart from thinking about her, he no longer had any extra thoughts.

When he got up, he would think about how well she slept last night?Are you up now?When he was in class, he would also think about what she was doing?Are you listening to the class carefully?Even when he was walking, he had to think about where she was now?Is it close to him, or far away?
He thinks about her, how are you doing recently?Are you going out to play?Are you having fun?What should I do if I am not happy?His heart became worried again.What if she encounters something unhappy and no one comforts her?So, he wanted to see her again, to see her.

However, he didn't want himself to disturb her too much, for fear that it would affect her.His heart was full of contradictions and pain.

Gradually in his deliberate heart, the connection between him and her became less and less, but she became more and more important in his heart.It feels like her mind is full of her shadow, making him unable to leave her for a moment.

Once, he took a book and read carefully:

There are some clouds in the sky,
There was a slight breeze on the ground.

Ah!
The breeze moved my hair,

Teach me how to miss her?
Moonlight loves the ocean,

The ocean is in love with the moonlight.

Ah!
This silvery night like honey,

Teach me how to miss her?
The water surface falls slowly and flows slowly,
Underwater fish swim slowly.

Ah!
Swallow, what are you talking about?

Teach me how to miss her?
The dead tree shook in the cold wind.

The wildfire burned in the twilight.

Ah!
Xitian still has some remnant clouds,

Teach me how to miss her?
After he finished reading the song "Teach Me How Not to Miss Her" by Liu Bannong, tears were streaming down his face and he couldn't make a sound.

He thought of her, missed her.Looking up at the white clouds in the sky, I felt that her shadow was hidden in those white clouds; the breeze was blowing, and the air seemed to be filled with her breath; the clear and crisp calls of the birds were very similar to her voice.

Finally, he could no longer bear this kind of life close to fantasy.

He wanted to see her, he wanted to talk to her, even if he just said a word, he would be so happy that he couldn't sleep.

He doesn't want to be with her all the time, but there are not many opportunities to meet her under the heavy study, because she has to study hard.So, he could only call her.

He missed her so much that he couldn't care less about the words "try not to disturb her if there is nothing to do".He called her every day and said some lovesick words, but he never thought that it would be easy to make people feel disgusted.

Gradually, he found that she seemed to be avoiding him.

Where she was often seen before, now she is nowhere to be seen at all.When he looked excitedly at her not far away, she turned her face to the other side, as if she didn't see him.He stared blankly, at a loss.He comforted himself again: it must be that she didn't see him.But at a distance where he could see her face clearly, how could she not notice him?

As always, he called her every day, happily talking about what he saw and heard that day.I thought with all my heart that she would really like what he said, because she also listened to him in silence all the time.But how could she really not be bored?
Gradually, no one answered his calls to her. He comforted himself: she must have not heard.So, he called her again and again until she answered.When he heard her voice again, he was full of joy, thinking that his guess was completely right.Look, it must be that she didn't hear it just now, he comforted himself secretly in his heart.

Finally, once, she told him that she had to study hard, and she might not use her mobile phone much in the future.

After hearing what she said, he didn't care about it, and he never got tired of it, and even continued talking about those missing words endlessly.Still naively thinking that everything is the same as usual, the same as before, without the slightest change!But I felt that this sentence had another meaning, and I didn't think about it.He missed her so much that he couldn't care about other things.

When he called her the next day as usual, he found that her phone had been turned off.How can it be shut down?Is there no electricity?So he would call her every once in a while, and he wanted her to hear his voice first after turning on the phone, simply thinking that it would show that he cared about her more.However, until night, her mobile phone was not turned on.

At this time, he began to worry again, would something happen to her?No, nothing will happen!He couldn't help comforting himself in his heart.But he couldn't help becoming anxious again, pacing back and forth in circles, the anxiety became more and more serious.He couldn't wait any longer and think about it.He ran to the bottom of her dormitory, observed the situation in her dormitory, and found that there were vague figures in it, and there was a vague figure that resembled her very much.But he still couldn't feel at ease, so he called her roommate and friend and asked her how she was doing today.When he got an affirmative answer, he finally felt relieved.

He stared at her figure obsessively through the window of her bedroom, reluctant to move his eyes away, and took a step.He waited until the curtains of her window were closed, then he was reluctant to leave, and walked away step by step.

When he returned to the dormitory and calmed down.He became a little scared again, and slowly, panicked again.Because he was thinking about some questions - why did she choose to turn off the phone?Is it because of yourself?Is it because she doesn't want to listen to me anymore?This instantly filled his heart with fear.

She doesn't want to listen to me anymore.how is this possible?how could be?If not that, then why?He tried to find another reason to comfort himself, could it be what she said yesterday: he will not use the mobile phone much in the future.Well, it must be so, let me just say, it can't be because of me.See, she reminded me yesterday, I just didn't notice.How could she not want to listen to me?
But he was a little worried again. If she often behaved like this in the future, what would he do?If it went on like this, he was really worried that he would go crazy himself.He couldn't imagine such consequences at all, and he didn't dare to imagine them!
He became uneasy, afraid, and frightened again.He grabbed his hair with his hands and stroked it down vigorously one by one, as if this would calm him down.He began to beat his head with his hands from time to time, feeling dizzy and heavy, as if it was about to explode.

But the more he was like this, the more he couldn't calm down, he became more and more irritable, and the more he thought about it, the more chaotic he became.Finally, he couldn't care less about anything anymore, and he yelled, thinking about pouring out all the troubles in his heart.

He came to the window, looked at the starry sky again and stared blankly.Tears fell drop by drop along the eyelids, like a faucet that was not turned off tightly, but there was a blank expression on his face.

Slowly, he choked up one after another, holding back his nose and mouth to prevent himself from making that weak sound, but his body kept trembling.He can no longer find the brightest star!

Will she slowly disappear in front of my eyes like this?He kept comforting himself, no, no, definitely not.In the end, even he didn't believe it himself!
He slowly lay on the bed, closing his eyes in pain and despair.

But I kept telling myself in my heart: I must be thinking too much, it must be like this!
(End of this chapter)