There are ways to speak and speak skills

Chapter 4 Talking to Colleagues → Tolerance Strategies (1)
The widest thing in the world is the ocean, the thing wider than the ocean is the sky, and the thing wider than the sky is the human mind.

Tolerance is a kind of extraordinary tolerance, a broad mind, tolerance and acceptance of people and things.Tolerance is a noble quality, a lofty realm, spiritual maturity, and spiritual abundance.Tolerance is the light of benevolence, the supreme blessing, it is the forgiveness of others and the kindness to oneself.Tolerance is the wisdom of survival, the art of life, the calmness, self-confidence and detachment obtained after seeing through the social life.

Quiet and harmonious interpersonal

Difficulties and obstacles are unavoidable for each of us on the way to the top of our career, but if you have a humorous eloquence and can understand some subtle psychology of people, you will have success in your career and form a harmonious relationship with others. Win the trust and love of others, and your career will develop better.

Appropriate use of humor, active and enthusiastic communication with people around you, like good manners, can enable you to get acquainted with and understand colleagues smoothly and quickly, and open the door for your career.

Mr. N is the chief announcer serving Japan's largest radio and television station, and the other announcers here are also masters.Every summer, the radio and television station has four or five new people on the stage.Many new employees feel nervous when they first arrive, but Mr. N's humor makes these new employees quickly eliminate the tension.

One day, Mr. N said to a new colleague:
"Hey, Aikawa, come here."

"Yes."

"Since you can be hired by this station, you must have good basic common sense, right?"

"Ah, yes, I think at least . . . but . . . "

"Okay, tell me briefly about the three major archways in Japan."

At this time, Aikawa seemed very nervous, and his heart was pounding violently.After some thinking, Aikawa finally plucked up his courage: "An Yun's Miyajima Torii." "What else?" "Ise's Daijingu Torii." "Anything else?" ..." "Do you still know?" "Well, I'm so sorry, I can't remember it all at once..." Ai Chuan was worried and broke out in a cold sweat.

Mr. N suddenly laughed and said, "Let me tell you, the three major archways I call are whiskey (the two nouns have the same pronunciation in Japanese)." Immediately, there was laughter in the room, and Aikawa couldn't help but laugh out loud.

After this joke, the new staff got to know Mr. N's personality and was deeply impressed by his approachable attitude. His career also went to glory because of everyone's tacit cooperation.

Psychological tips:

When others are embarrassed or nervous, the use of humor can inspire courage and inspire them to overcome difficulties or at least relieve the tension and anger at that time. Mr. N used it just right.

The use of humor is to develop harmonious interpersonal relationships, to establish a healthy and happy mental state for oneself or others, and for oneself to be understood and understood by others. From this perspective, the power of humor can become an accelerator of career success.If you use humor like Mr. N in the story, you and your career will always be invincible.

Rarely confused, regardless of gains and losses
Stupidity often refers to people and things that don't understand things, such as calling people stupid people, stupid things, stupid bugs, this is a human condition.Rarely confused is a state of life.It is the maturity and calmness of a person after many vicissitudes of life.This kind of confusion is the complete opposite of the real confusion of not understanding the truth. It is a portrayal of a peaceful state of mind after a great enlightenment in life.

Pei Xia was the governor of the Jin Dynasty, and he was very good friends with Dongping General Zhou Fu.Once, when Pei Xia visited Zhou Fu's home, Zhou Fu immediately ordered his servants to make tea.Not long after being seated, Pei Xia played Go with others, and Zhou Fu's family came to toast. Pei Xia was in the middle of playing, concentrating all his energy on the chessboard, so he put the wine handed to him aside and didn't drink it in time .This angered the family, so he intentionally pushed Pei Ya hard, but Pei Ya didn't pay attention, and fell off the chair abruptly and fell to the ground.Pei Xia got up as if nothing had happened, and returned to his seat to continue playing chess. His demeanor remained the same and his expression was peaceful, as if nothing had happened.Wang Yan later asked Pei Xia why there was no response under the circumstances?Pei Xia replied, "Because I was very confused at the time."

Psychological tips:

Pei Xia resolved an impending conflict with magnanimity and pretended to be confused, and then continued to play chess as a guest with a peaceful expression.

Get along with colleagues should also maintain a magnanimous attitude.Only by working together with colleagues can it be easier to achieve career success. That is to say, there are certain skills in talking and doing things with colleagues, for example: "Friends are like water" to confidants, and how many people should be more to those who can talk and get along. Be very enthusiastic and sincere, and should be more understanding and self-blame for those who go against me.Only when you understand this will you get along well with your colleagues.

Good at winning people's hearts with praise
It is human nature to like to hear compliments from others, and everyone will feel satisfied with their self-esteem and sense of honor when they receive proper compliments from society or others.And when we hear other people's admiration for us, and feel happy and encouraged, we will inevitably have a sense of intimacy with the speaker, and the psychological distance between each other will be shortened and approached.The rapport between people starts here.

American management expert Charles Schwab was considered a wizard in the steel industry. At that time, he could receive a salary of more than 3000 US dollars per day, and his annual salary was 100 million US dollars.People couldn't understand how he did it and thought he was a genius.But in fact, Charles Schwab himself thinks so:
"I think the greatest asset I have is that I can arouse great enthusiasm in people. The way to arouse the best in people is to encourage and praise. I never blame anyone, I believe in inspiration Makes people work. That's why I'm always eager to praise something and hate to find fault. If I like anything, it's to praise someone sincerely."

"In our social intercourse, I have met many great and ordinary people around the world, and I have found that no matter how high or important he is, he always works better with praise than with criticism. , takes less effort.”

The secret of Schwab's success is to praise others in public or private.Praise can make people work hard and push a person to a bright journey, which is the driving force for progress.

In workplace communication, sincere praise and encouragement, to a certain extent, can satisfy the other party's desire to be affirmed, which is unforgettable for a lifetime.In fact, it is not difficult to say a simple compliment.As long as you are willing and pay attention to observation, there are places worthy of praise everywhere, and speaking out at the right time will produce unexpected results.

When French President de Gaulle visited the United States in 1960, at a banquet held for him by Nixon, Mrs. Nixon took great pains to arrange a beautiful flower stand: in the center of a horseshoe-shaped table, bright and dazzling tropical flowers set off A fine fountain.The shrewd and considerate General de Gaulle saw at a glance that this was carefully designed by the hostess to welcome him, so he blurted out praise: "Madame, you must have spent a lot of time holding this banquet, or else There will not be such a beautiful and tasteful arrangement."

Mrs. Nixon was very happy when she heard this.Afterwards, she said to others: "Most of the visiting dignitaries either don't pay attention, or don't bother to thank the hostess for this. Only General de Gaulle can think of other people's needs." What happened, Mrs. Nixon always maintained a favorable impression of General de Gaulle.From this we can see how good a response a simple word of praise can bring to people.

Psychological tips:

Psychologist William Giles said: "The deepest need of human nature is to long for the appreciation of others." Appropriately praising each other will enhance the harmonious, warm and beautiful feelings between each other.This can be seen from Mrs. Nixon's good impression of General de Gaulle.

Praise can also be used between colleagues. Various relationships in the workplace are intricate, and there are often frictions between colleagues due to various trivial matters. At this time, praise is an indispensable "lubricant".Even in the kindest, most innocent relationships, compliments and compliments are as necessary as lubricant is to a wheel to make it turn faster.

We want to know ourselves objectively and to be praised.If our strengths are affirmed by others, we will feel that our self-worth has been confirmed, thus producing the "insider effect".You know, psychological affinity is the beginning of others treating you as "one of your own".

Don't lie to your ears
Suspicion is to make various assumptions and guesses about things that one does not fully understand for no reason, and gradually form one's own ideas and believe them to be true.Suspicion is one of the weaknesses of human nature. It has always been the bane of harming others and ourselves, and is the companion of despicable souls.Once a person falls into the trap of suspicion, he will be nervous everywhere, suspicious of everything, lose trust in others, and also have doubts in himself, which will damage normal interpersonal relationships and affect personal physical and mental health.

There is such a story in "Liezi Shuofu": A man lost an ax and suspected that the neighbor's son had stolen it.Because of this frame in mind, every move of the neighbor's son, even his walking posture, facial expression, and tone of voice, seemed to him to have stolen the axe.Later, when he was digging in a ravine, he accidentally found the ax he had lost. Looking at his neighbor's son later, he felt that his behavior and attitude did not look like stealing an ax.Why is it that after a few days, it looked more and more like it before, but now it doesn't look like it at all?The reason is that suspicion is at work.

(End of this chapter)