speak humor, be humorous

Chapter 24 Humor in Love and Marriage (2)
We often hear some people around us say: "Isn't home just a place to eat and sleep? It's no different from a hotel!" This is definitely not true, because there is no family humor in a hotel.

John couldn't bear his wife's endless nagging, so he planned to stay in a hotel outside for a few days.The innkeeper received him warmly, and personally led him to the door of a room.

"Sir, you will find that living here is like being at home."

"Oh my god! Please change my room quickly!"

This humor shows that a home without humor is worse than a hotel.

Using humorous words, actions, and attitudes towards another person in the family will keep your family from endless quarrels, from dull and depressed cold wars, and from groundless suspicions.It is like a lubricant in family life, which can bathe your family in the spring breeze and drizzle forever, and make the relationship between husband and wife harmonious and beautiful forever.A person who is full of energy, has a humorous eloquence and uses it, his life will be colorful, and he himself seems to have inexhaustible power.

Humor keeps the tree of love evergreen

In today's family, both husband and wife have their own careers and social activities, so both parties are relatively independent, which makes it an increasingly prominent contradiction who will rule the family, and this contradiction will make the distance between each other's hearts Farther and farther away, but it is not difficult to solve it, and humor can produce special effects.

A man told his friend his secret to a happy married life. "My wife makes all the little decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones. We live together in peace, without disturbing each other, never complaining, never quarreling." "That makes sense," His friend agreed, "So, what kind of things does your wife make decisions about?" "She decides what kind of jobs I should apply for, where we should go swimming, things like that." The friend was amazed: "So what are the big things that you decide?" "Oh," the man replied, "I decide who will be prime minister, should we increase aid to poor countries, what attitude should we take toward the atomic bomb, etc."

From a certain point of view, women's desire for dominance and vanity are stronger than men's, so women are often in the position of rulers in the family, no matter whether they are ordinary housewives or the wives of great men.

When Peter was the mayor of Pittsburgh, he and his wife, Nancy, went to inspect a construction site one day.A construction worker yelled at them: "Lancy, do you remember me? We used to date in high school!" Afterwards, Peter mocked: "You're lucky to marry me, you should be A construction worker's wife, not the mayor's wife." Lanxi retorted, "You should be glad you married me, otherwise, he would be the mayor of Pittsburgh."

There are often husbands who are called "strict wives" around us. They are often ridiculed by friends and colleagues. The so-called "afraid of his wife" refers to the husband's tolerance and love for his wife, but it is not easy to be ridiculed by others. If The clever use of self-deprecating methods will not create an embarrassing situation.

Wife: "You seldom drink outside, why do you drink so much at home?" Husband: "I heard that alcohol can strengthen your courage."

Moreover, people with a sense of humor are not afraid to show that they are "scared of his wife" in front of everyone.Let's take a look at the conversation between the two men below.

A: "What do you do in the company?"

B: "I am the head in the company."

A: "I believe it, but what about at home?"

B: "Of course I am also the head."

A: "What about your wife?"

B: "She is the neck."

A: "Why is that?"

B: "Because if the head wants to turn, it has to obey the neck."

Such a clever answer, of course, caused people to laugh, and indirectly implied his satisfaction with the marriage.If his wife is really as rumored, he may not be able to laugh at himself.Therefore, having a good mental state is very important for the play of humor.

When the wife is furious because of some bad behavior of the husband, if the husband can skillfully use humor and eloquence, he can dissolve the tangible storm into the invisible, so as to ensure the smooth progress of family life and the good relationship between husband and wife.

1 minute of little humor and great wisdom
◎ Reuse
A man and a woman decide to break off their engagement.

Man: "What did you say? Want me to return all the letters you wrote to me?"

Female: "Yes, pay me back all of it."

Man: "Do you think I will show the letter to others?"

Female: "I don't think so. However, I spent money to hire a special person to make it. Isn't it necessary to reuse it now?"

■The oasis of love flows naturally from the inner world of people, and mere formality has no meaning at all, and it can even be said to be a blasphemy to love.

◎ Ms. North Pole
A: "I treat her as the North Pole and call her Miss North Pole."

B: "Why?"

A: "She is as cold as ice, yet attracts me like a magnet."

■ To love someone, you must hate him a little bit, and hating him makes you unable to do without him.

◎ Memories of love

Male: "People will always grow old. One can't always live by love."

Woman: "But I have memories of these loves!"

Man: "Memory can't be eaten."

Female: "When men don't give me money, I tell their wives about these memories!"

■Love that cannot stay together for life is just a terminal in life. No matter how long you stay, you will leave in a hurry by another flight.

◎ Married Boyfriend
Mother: "You know, son, it's been almost three years, how is your relationship with Alf going? Has he talked to you about getting married?"

Daughter: "Of course we talked about it. We talked about it from the very beginning."

Mother: "What did he say then?"

Daughter: "He said he was married. Mom, it's... so unfortunate."

■Love cannot be anchored in someone else's harbor, and the happiness stolen must be returned after all.

◎ Oppose
Xiao Ming: "Tell me..."

He summoned up the courage to continue, "Are you against cohabitation before marriage?"

Xiao Hua: "I've never done that kind of thing." She drank her coffee with her head down.

Xiao Ming: "I've never done it before!"

Xiao Hua: "Idiot! Never objected!"

■"Cohabitation" is a relationship that is "ready to retreat at any time". To talk about uncertain love in an uncertain age, to use a term commonly used by stockholders: "Don't put all your eggs in the same basket". Unbreakable words of truth.

◎ Think every day

Xiao Wang was depressed all day long. His friend asked him if he was broken in love. He said: "Nothing, it's just that I think about how to be with her every day, and she thinks about how to not be with me every day."

■It's yours, it's yours after all; if it's not yours, you can't force it. This may be the fate of love.

◎ Young people who want to get married

"What should I do?" said a young man who wanted to marry to his friend. "Every girl I bring home, my mother doesn't like."

"It's easy to handle!" His friend suggested, "You just need to find someone who looks like your mother in every way!"

"I tried...but my father didn't like it."

■What suits you is the best, why care about other people's eyes?

◎ learn from each other
A girl walked into a lumber shop with high heels and asked the shopkeeper to cut the cork off the heel for her, and the shopkeeper complied.A week later, the girl came again, and she asked, "Are the two cork heels that you saw off last time still there? I want you to stick them on for me."

The shop owner was surprised by this request and asked why, and the girl said, "Oh, this week I have a new boyfriend who is much taller than the one last week.

■Only by showing your truest side can you get true love.

◎ I love you so much
One day, my boyfriend wrote a letter to his girlfriend far away. To prove how much he loves her, he drew a "heart" on the back of the letter, and then drew an arrow on the heart, which means that the arrows strung together. I love you very much, and then drew a string of arrows through the heart to let his girlfriend know how much he loves her.Finally, he wrote "Look how much I love you".Soon he received a letter from his girlfriend, who asked in the letter, "What do you mean by that kebab?"

■Love does not need to use too many words to express, meaningless repeated emphasis and expression sometimes have the opposite effect.

◎ Passionate
When Yang Chazi was on the bus, a beautiful girl on the bus always looked at him.

Yang Chazi thought to himself: The girl might be interested in him, so he couldn't help feeling elated.The girl got off at the station, and Yang Chazi immediately followed after seeing this.

The girl walked in front and looked back from time to time.Yang Chazi plucked up the courage to run forward, and said humorously, "Miss, why do you always look at me? Is there rice grains on my face?"

The girl glared at him and said, "You know it, but you still don't wipe it..."

■What is self-indulgence?Being passionate is a wishful monologue of unrequited love.

◎ Equation of Love

smart man + smart woman = romance
smart man + stupid woman = pregnancy

stupid man + smart woman = gossip
stupid man + stupid woman = marriage
■In terms of love, the most "stupid" people are the smartest people, because only they can enter into a happy marriage.

◎ Love story to extract a confession
Female: Have you really memorized everything about me?Tell me about my height, weight, likes and dislikes the most!
Man: Height... (scratches his head) Wear flat shoes up to my chin and high heels up to my ears.Weight (calculate while thinking), I can barely go up a 30° slope with a bicycle on my back. If I hold you, I guess I can't walk two meters.You like pinching me with your sharp nails the most, and you hate me watching football and other girls the most.

■Why bother to say love!Love is hidden in the heart and expressed in action.

◎ Fate
A: "Introduced by someone, I have been on blind dates ten times in a row, and I finally found someone who is destined."

B: "Fate? How to say?"

A: "He is my first blind date."

■ Fate is not deliberately pursued, it is something that cannot be sought after.Let nature take its course and you will "encounter" your fate.

◎ I am no exception

My girlfriend bought a new pen for her boyfriend.She tentatively asked, "When you get this pen, whose name will you write first?"

Boyfriend asked, "You want me to tell the truth?"

My girlfriend said, "Of course I have to tell the truth."

Boyfriend replied: "97% of men try to write their own names first, and I am no exception.

■Don't confuse love with habit.Love is love, habits are habits, and it is unreasonable to regard other people's habits as a show of love, and it is unreasonable to regard other people's habits as indifference.

◎ need

Woman: What does a man need to get married?
Male: Courage.

Man: What does a woman need to get married?
Woman: Luck.

■ Loving someone is an adventure, a gamble, either you get all the happiness, or you get nothing.So, to love someone requires courage, but also luck.

◎ Waste of effort
Within two years, a young man wrote more than 700 love letters to his beloved girlfriend. Finally, his girlfriend announced that he was getting married, and the groom was the postman who delivered these letters to her.

■Proper love defense means that both parties maintain a little bit of jealousy and keep a little bit of private social circle, but never give the opportunity for rivals to invade, and never try to find a lover.

◎ Rational love words
"Dear, do you love me very much?"

"deeply love."

"Will you give your life for me?"

"Yes, but it would be wrong. Who will love you then?"

■In this world, no one should do anything for you, because life is your own, and you must be responsible for yourself, even if you are a loving couple or lovers.

◎ Reluctant to give up love
A grieving widow and a friend remember her recently deceased husband:
“My husband was good to me and I miss him. He bought $5 in life insurance with me as the named beneficiary. But, honestly, I’d be willing to charge $1 less if he was brought back to life.”

■ Cherish the people in front of you!Don't know how to cherish after you lose it. The most painful thing is to live in memories and nostalgia.

◎ Empathy
The man and woman met on the street and soon got engaged.

The young man excitedly took the girl's hand and said: "You are such a good girl. Although I am not as handsome as my friend Awei, I am not as noble as him, and I don't have as much savings as him, but you still love me. How can you love me?" It’s not touching! I will love you forever and never change my heart.”

The girl was delighted when she heard that, she held his hand tightly and said, "I admire your sincere confession and frank talk. However, I only have one request for you now, that you can tell me Awei's contact information." me?"

■Repaying love is not true love, and it may lead to tragedy someday.

◎ Love exclusivity

Man: "You are my sun...no, you are my flashlight."

Female: "What? Didn't you mean the sun?"

Man: "No, the sun shines on all men. I only want you to shine on me."

■The reason why love is selfish is because of the possessive desire in the heart.

◎ Love short stories
Literary and Art Club Essay Contest: "Please use the shortest essay to discuss the whole story of love." As a result, Xiao Wang won the championship, and his essay is as follows:

First love: She is the only one in my heart.

Passionate love: My mother told me to go east, my lover told me to go west; I go west.

Lovelorn: The lover is married, but the groom is not me.

■If you love without principles and independence, you will lose your love sooner or later.

◎ Wife is always right

1.Wife is always right.

2.If my wife is wrong, I must be wrong.

3.If I'm not mistaken, I must be thinking wrong.

4.If I'm not wrong, as long as she doesn't admit it, she's right.

5.If she doesn't admit her mistake and I still say she was wrong, then it is my fault.

6.If she gets it wrong, refer to #1.

■Love is sometimes the same as war: if you seek peace through struggle, you will live peacefully; if you seek peace through compromise, you will die peacefully.Blind compromise, no end.

◎ Consolation
After the roommate Xiao Wang broke up in love, he didn't think about tea or food all day long, and sighed in bed.Everyone doesn't know how to comfort them.

Adu, who is optimistic by nature, said to Xiao Wang: "Stop sighing and get out of bed! Is the taste of falling in love so good that you should lie on the bed without eating or drinking to savor it slowly?"

■ When falling in love, there are only two possibilities.Either you love her and she doesn't love you, or the other way around.Well, you have no regrets when someone you love doesn't love you anymore, or never loved you at all.Because what you lost was someone who didn't love you.

◎ Today is full
A well-dressed young man came to a high-end hotel and handed the waiter a shilling as soon as he entered the door.The waiter held the shilling in his hands in confusion, and said with a smile: "Why, are you going to use this money to book a banquet?" The young man hurriedly explained: "No, no, I will accompany a girl later , please tell us loudly: "Today is full, please go elsewhere, thank you! "

■As the saying goes, you should hold the menu in your own hands when you treat guests.In fact, for love, it is not the delicacies of the mountains and seas and the pledge of each other that can express the sincerity.

◎ love

My grandfather was 1 meters tall, while my muscular grandmother was 60 meters tall.My grandfather died when I was a child.Once I was looking through old photos with my grandmother, and it occurred to me that the two of them must stand out together.

"Grandma," I asked her, "how could you fall in love with a man shorter than you?"

She turned to me and said, "Son, we fell in love sitting down. When I stand up, it's too late."

■The perfect love match in the eyes of others is different from our own feelings about love. Sometimes we need to use skills to explain to others to let others know that what we like is suitable.

◎ marriage proposal
"I have come to you to propose to your daughter," said the young suitor.

"Have you talked to my wife yet?" asked the father.

"Yes, but I would prefer to marry your daughter."

■The wise man said: "Everyone's happiness needs to be decided by himself".For something as purely self-experienced as feelings, no one can replace the feelings and opinions of the person concerned.Therefore, to respect the choices of others is to respect the feelings of others.

◎ Grab sand
A newlywed couple sat on the beach and watched the sunset. The wife casually grabbed a handful of sand and said to her husband inadvertently:
"It's weird how no matter how tightly I hold it, it always leaks through my fingers and there's only a little bit left."

The husband interjected: "Honey, at this wonderful moment, don't mention my meager salary!"

■There is no need to deliberately grasp love, the more you want to grasp your love, the easier it is to lose yourself.Lose the tolerance and understanding that should be maintained between each other, and in the end even love is lost.

◎ No insurance
A young man received a breakup letter from his girlfriend, which said: "Although our relationship has ended, you must compensate me for four years of youth loss..."

The young man replied with a text message: "Honey, I can't pay the money because you are not insured."

■Sometimes, love is a gamble, and you may not get any return or compensation for what you pay.

◎ Direction of love
Tom: "Love is great, it keeps the world spinning!"

Jack: "Oh my god! I hate it, it makes me dizzy and I don't know what to do!"

John: "Then why don't you two grasp the direction of love rotation!"

(End of this chapter)