1000 Business Lessons Every Businessman Must Know

Chapter 105 Realm cultivation: The boss must know how to advance and retreat, and understand the radius (2)
In short, we must pay attention to and be good at communication, which also includes paying attention to and being good at rebuilding old friendships and turning enemies into friends.To do this, of course, you need to seize the opportunity and master the methods and skills, but the most important thing is to be free and active and use psychological strategies.Only by exerting your own initiative can you master the timing and skills.

What should you do if you want to reconcile and rebuild friendship with friends who have had an awkward relationship, or even enemies who are "serious in the heart"?On the premise of being free and active, pay attention to the following three points:

(1) For insignificant hostility, be tolerant and magnanimous, ignore it, you can pretend to be deaf, or change the subject, so that the other party is bored, and you must not care about it and cause unnecessary conflicts.

(2) For degrading and sarcasm attacks that hurt the general, it should be counterattacked, but this kind of counterattack should not be a quarrel, but should adopt clever methods such as euphemism, hints, humor, etc., to be reasonable, beneficial and restrained.This kind of retaliation is only for self-defense, to safeguard one's dignity or the interests of the whole, not to vent one's anger.

(3) Find and seize the opportunity, show care and consideration to the other party, give help, promote reconciliation, thereby deepening or rebuilding friendship.

867. If you want a foot, you need an inch first

When people cross the threshold and climb the steps, they should raise their legs high and step down.This almost instinctive habit is a very ingenious way to give way when applied in social interaction.Specifically, large requirements are used to create the illusion of concessions, so as to achieve smaller requirements.

Make a big request first, and if the other party does not agree, then make a smaller request, because they feel guilty for not agreeing to the larger request of others and for not being able to help a lot, and to alleviate this guilt, they will Agree to this minor request and apologize as a small favor.This will greatly increase the likelihood that people will agree to it compared to directly making a smaller request.

In daily life, we often use this method.For example, if you want a playful child to only watch TV for one hour at home every day, you might as well say that he is only allowed to watch TV for half an hour. If he repeatedly asks you to agree to the request for one hour, he will stop making trouble because you have already Let's go.Another example is in the market.The owner of the goods often doubles or triples the price of the goods, so that he can slowly get back to his normal price.In this way, the buyer also feels that it has taken a lot of advantages, and it is easy to pay for it.This approach may be a bit deceitful, but people's psychology is used to it: whether you really give in or not, you have to make him feel that you have given up a lot.

This principle can be used in reverse, and it can also become a concession method of "If you want a foot, you need an inch first".If you need more help from others, you may wish to use the technique of "stepping on the threshold", that is, first ask the other party for small help, and then climb up the steps and ask him to help solve larger problems.

[-]. The boss must understand Fangyuan
868. Master the Heat and Proper Measures
For the same fish, meat and egg dishes, some people can stir-fry delicacies that are tangy and appetizing, while others can only be made into bland and unreal dishes.Where is the mystery and trick?Experienced cooks will tell you two words: heat.If the heat is not enough, it will not be sweet and delicious; if the heat is too high, it will be boiled and burnt.Only when the fire is just right, will the color, aroma and taste be complete.The same is true for cooking, and the same is true for leadership work; mastering the heat, grasping the measure, and choosing the right time to launch is what a leader should pay attention to.

The heat is moderate.The proper duration of the fire lies in the accuracy and appropriateness of the time.The so-called "cold treatment" means that sometimes you have to lead without sending it out, turn a blind eye, be deliberately indifferent, and do it later.The "heat treatment" is triggered on the trigger and saved in time.

Xiao Wang, an employee of a certain company, had a problem with the uneven distribution of jobs by the deputy general manager.The old general manager of the company walked over without criticizing or getting angry, patted Xiao Wang on the shoulder, led him to the office, and asked him to calm down.On the same day, another employee of the company, Xiao Zhang, contradicted the deputy general manager, and was met by the general manager again. This time he was merciless, criticized in public, and ordered him to conduct a self-criticism.Others were puzzled and asked, "It's the same quarrel, why do you adopt two attitudes?"

This experienced general manager talked about his own views, which was very enlightening: I took two attitudes during the two quarrels, one was "cold treatment" and the other was "heat treatment".There are two reasons: one is personal characteristics and different environments and occasions.Xiao Wang has a straightforward and strong temper. He has already been wronged, and his emotions are in a state of extreme anger due to stimulation. If he blames blindly without asking the reasons, it is tantamount to adding fuel to the fire. It will definitely intensify the conflict. It is best to wait for him to calm down and talk to him individually .But Xiao Zhang has a certain degree of self-cultivation, but he quarrels a lot about his personal affairs. If he doesn't stop it immediately, it will definitely have a worse impact.Therefore, I have adopted two methods of "cold treatment" and "heat treatment" for them.

Second, the reasons for the quarrels are different.Xiao Wang's dissatisfaction has a reason, and the main fault lies with the deputy general manager, so he cannot be simply blamed; Xiao Zhang is out of personal welfare, which is a personal unreasonable trouble, and should be severely criticized.

Therefore, when the boss handles things, he must decide the method according to the person, time, and event. This is also an important skill that the boss needs to explore and master in practice.

869. Never Do Things Too Much

A person's success or failure often comes from the way he behaves in the world.Especially in the business world, if you want to win respect and try to build a successful network, you must remember not to do things "too much".These "excessive" include the following aspects:

1. Overconfidence
People who perform well and know how to prove their worth are indeed courageous, but if your desire to sell yourself is too strong, the effect will definitely be counterproductive.After spending time with you, others are likely to see you as a boastful person and ignore your other strengths.In essence, being overconfident often gives people a feeling of lack of confidence, which will greatly reduce other people's impression of you.

2. Too strong
If a person would rather bury himself in his profession than have close communication with others, even if his performance is far ahead, he will not be able to reach the peak of his career. At most, he will win himself a title of technical authority. Climb, I'm afraid we will miss it.

3. Too much sobriety
Some bosses trust their instincts too easily and feel pretty good about themselves.I often talk about my own shortcomings to show that I have enough self-knowledge and dare to analyze myself.However, this "look how bad I am" attitude will often make people think that you are a cynical person, and it will also make people think that you are a "person who is always to be perfected". not very close.

4. Taking things too seriously
If you are a natural "opposition", you must try to change it, learn to force yourself to remain silent, and don't speak out your words rashly, otherwise it will only corrupt the emotions of others and make them reject you.

As the saying goes, too much is too much, grasping the measure is a compulsory course for the boss to learn.Otherwise, you will lose more opportunities than others.A wise man sums up all wisdom as a mean, and if you go too far, you will make mistakes.

870. Correct use of dredging and blocking methods

In the process of work, we often encounter the problems of dredging and blockage.How to correctly use the methods of dredging and blocking, and how to correctly view the relationship between the two, the boss needs to pay attention to mastering.

In the process of work, there must be both dredging and blocking.It is generally believed that dredging should be the main method, and blockage should be supplemented. The combination of the two complements each other.In the use of the two, we must prevent one-sidedness: it is wrong to regard the necessary blockage as a mistake because of dredging, and thus give up the blockage; on the contrary, it is wrong to emphasize and use the blockage because of the need for blockage. It is also wrong to go too far and underestimate counseling.On this issue, the boss must grasp the "degree" according to the nature, time, and conditions of the problem, and dialectically analyze and deal with the problem.

For example, a staff member once pursued to show off his individuality. He saw that some people were wearing some special ornaments that looked very elegant, and he thought they were very elegant, so he also wore them.The company only stipulated that it is not allowed to wear exotic clothes, but it did not explain in time why they were not allowed to wear them.This employee thinks that this is my own business. The more you forbid me to wear it, the more I want to wear it. The conflict has intensified.Later, the general manager had a detailed talk with him about the origin of the special ornaments and what is the real "beauty". Only then did he have a new view and consciously remove the special ornaments from his neck.It can be seen that one-sided prohibition and simple blocking are not necessarily very effective in solving general ideological problems.For this kind of problem, the boss still has to start with dredging, supplemented by blocking.

However, those things that can quickly cause very bad consequences and lead to adverse effects must be resolutely prohibited.Spreading rumors, framing others, dawdling around, etc.Because the role of dredging is limited, if you still use the method of gentle wind and light rain to persuade, then the influence of these toxins will inevitably be expanded.In this case, it is necessary to take clear, powerful, and quick actions to block it, otherwise, it will go to the other extreme, and it will have the effect of indulgence objectively, resulting in ambiguity between right and wrong, good and bad. It is difficult to make the right choice, and at the same time, it also makes the counseling lose its persuasiveness, and it is difficult to be effective due to the lack of corresponding support.

871. Don’t Expose the Other Party’s Mistakes or Secrets

In communication, if it is not for some special needs, you should generally try to avoid touching the other party's taboo sensitive areas, so as to avoid making the other party look ugly in public.

Psychological research shows that no one wants to "expose" their mistakes or privacy in front of the public. Once they are exposed, they will feel embarrassed or annoyed.Therefore, in communication, if it is not for some special needs, you should generally try to avoid touching the sensitive areas that the other party avoids, so as to avoid making the other party look ugly in public.If necessary, you can tactfully imply that the other party already knows his fault or privacy, which can create a kind of pressure on him.But don't overdo it, just "click it".

In a famous restaurant in Guangzhou, a foreign guest quietly "inserted" exquisite cloisonne chopsticks into his suit underwear pocket after finishing the last refreshment.The waitress went forward without showing any emotion, holding a small silk box with a pair of cloisonné chopsticks in her hands and said: "I found that when I was eating, my husband loved the Chinese cloisonné chopsticks very much. Thank you very much." Your appreciation for this exquisite handicraft. In order to express our gratitude, with the approval of the restaurant supervisor, on behalf of the Chinese restaurant, I will present you this pair of cloisonne chopsticks with the most exquisite patterns and strict disinfection treatment; The restaurant's 'preferential price' is recorded in your account book, do you think so?" The foreign guest would of course understand the implication of these words, and after expressing his gratitude, he said that he drank two more glasses of "brandy" and was a little out of his mind. Halo, mistakenly inserted the chopsticks into the underwear pocket.And cleverly took this "step" to say, "Since this kind of chopsticks are not easy to use without disinfection, I will 'trade the old for the new'! Hahaha." He took out the chopsticks in the underwear bag and put them back on the dining table respectfully. Passing the small box given to him by the waitress, he walked towards the cashier without losing his grace.

872. Don't Publicize Your Opponent's Mistakes

If you take other people's mistakes as a laughing stock, you will also make mistakes to make a laughing stock yourself.

In social interaction, everyone may accidentally make some small mistakes, such as mispronouncing typos, speaking in layman's terms, misremembering the other party's name and position, improper etiquette, and so on.When we find that the other party has such a situation, as long as it is irrelevant to the overall situation, there is no need to make a big publicity about it. We deliberately make it known to everyone, so that the small fault that has been neglected becomes conspicuous at once.

Not to mention taking a sarcastic attitude, thinking that "this time you can catch the laughingstock", make a fuss, and make fun of others' mistakes in front of everyone.

Because doing so will not only embarrass the other party, hurt his self-esteem, make him resent you or retaliate against you, but also not conducive to your own social image. wary.If you take other people's mistakes as a laughing stock, you will also make mistakes to make a laughing stock yourself.

873. Don't Let The Opponent Lose Too Much
Dealing with people is like playing a game of chess. Only those young people with little experience can win seven or eight games in one go. The opponent's face is flushed and he can't lift his head, but he is still yelling "Jiang" .

In socializing, some competitive and competitive cultural activities are often carried out, such as chess games, table tennis games, badminton games, etc.Even though it's some entertainment, everyone wants to be a winner.Experienced communicators, when they are "strong" and can definitely win, often do not make the other party lose miserably and be embarrassed. On the contrary, they intentionally let the other party win a game or two, which does not hinder their overall Win without making the opponent lose face too much.

For example, some chess masters, after winning several games in a row, will often deliberately make a few wrong moves, allowing the opponent to win one or two games in the end.In fact, as a social activity, it is not a formal competition, and you don’t have to be so serious about winning or losing. The main purpose is to exchange feelings, enhance friendship, and meet the needs of cultural life; otherwise, it will make the other party feel bad.Hu Hanmin, a veteran of the Kuomintang, loves playing chess very much, and he attaches great importance to winning and losing. After a banquet, when he played against Chen Jingyi, who is very skilled in chess, he was already tied one to one, but he had to play the third game, and was beaten by the opponent in the endgame After getting into a dead car, Hu Hanmin was pale, sweating profusely, anxious and angry, fainted on the spot, and died of cerebral hemorrhage three days later.

Therefore, we should not only try to avoid causing others to be unable to step down due to our own carelessness, but also learn to provide them with a "step" skillfully and timely when it may not be easy for them to step down. It was to help the other party step down, but in the end it made the other party even more embarrassed.There are also a few points that should be noted:

874. Conceal Your Intentions and Do What You Like

The first step to success is to hide your own interests and intentions, and make the other person willing to do what you want because you can match them.

Respecting and emphasizing the views and interests of others is the most powerful magic weapon for us to get others to cooperate.People often don't use this magic weapon correctly because they often forget that if we overemphasize our needs, others will change their attitudes even if they are interested in it.

To move others, you have to start with their needs.You must make it clear that the only way a man can do anything is by making him willing.At the same time, it must be remembered that people's needs are different, and each person has his own eccentricities and preferences.As long as you carefully explore the other party's true intentions, especially in relation to your plans, you can deal with him according to his preferences.You should first adapt your plan to the needs of others, and only then can your plan be realized.For example, one of the most basic points of persuading others is to subtly induce the other party's psychology or feelings so as to make them submit.If the persuading party emphasizes its own strengths in an attempt to gain the upper hand, the other party will instead become more defensive.Therefore, you should pay attention to pointing out your own shortcomings or mistakes first, so as to temporarily make the other party feel superior, and be careful not to express it in a serious manner, so as not to let the other party take advantage of it.

Some seekers think that they have helped others and are indebted to you, and they will unconsciously develop a sense of superiority psychologically, and may even criticize the seeker.When you think that you may be accused by others, you might as well scold yourself first, and when the other party finds that you have admitted your mistake, they will be ashamed to criticize you again.

875. The More Abilities You Have, the More Capable You Are to Change
No matter who, as long as they have the words "smart and fickle" in their hearts, they will more or less practice the ability to observe facial expressions. They will adjust the way of getting along with you according to your emotions, and then follow your preferences. Anger, sorrow and joy for their own benefit.Unknowingly, your will is under the control of others.If you express your emotions improperly, sometimes you will cause unwarranted disasters.

Therefore, those who achieve great success generally do not express these emotions casually, so as not to be seen through their weaknesses and give others an opportunity to take advantage of them.The above story tells us that in order to be successful, we must seek change, and we are not afraid of ridicule from the world.When the time for a decisive battle is not yet ripe and the opponent is aggressive, ask for change, seek change, and seek change again.The current burden of seeking change is for future victory. Temporary retreat and patience are not the performance of cowards, but the performance of firm will and vision.

To be good at changing facial expressions, one must have rich experience and high skills, and it takes a lot of effort to really play it well.From the above stories, we can find that the good planners always change their faces because of changing their minds, so as to deal with various special situations that may arise. Lightning's trick of changing masks is amazing.How to change face without being noticed is a science.Smart people have their own kung fu in their minds.

When encountering "obstacles", it is the last word to change if it is not feasible, because if you do not change, you will suffer greater blows and setbacks, and if you change, you can find a breakthrough point to break through the obstacles.One should be decisive in dealing with the world, and sometimes a change makes all the difference.Yongzheng never sticks to old rules when employing people. He has a few mottos: if it is not feasible, change; it depends on the time; it depends on the person;This has also become his brilliant spell to manipulate the victory.

(End of this chapter)