To communicate is to speak well

Chapter 10 Grasp the timing and speak when it is time to speak (2)
Tang Taizong was a little surprised when he heard this, and asked, "Is there any basis for your statement?" Wei Zheng then cited three things to prove it. Three different attitudes towards people.Tang Taizong then understood and said: "If it weren't for you, you wouldn't be able to say such a thing. A person suffers from not knowing himself!" So, he listened more humbly to his subordinates' opinions.

It can be seen that there is a very important trick to give suggestions to leaders, that is, we must pay attention to the timing and occasion, so that the leaders can understand their own opinions more attentively, but will not feel disgusted by themselves.For example, in recreational activities, the mood of the leader is generally better, and making suggestions at this time will make the leader more acceptable.Especially if you can connect the suggestions you put forward with the situation at that time, through hints, analogies, etc., you will have greater inspiration for leaders.There are also some relatively successful subordinates who are good at catching up on the leaders' words, passing them on from top to bottom, taking advantage of the problems, and applying them skillfully, thus touching the leaders well and solving many unresolved problems.

In the past, a unit had just purchased a batch of computers and related equipment, and planned to build a computer room.However, the leader refused to approve the installation of air-conditioning in the computer room, thinking that the comrades in the unit work without air-conditioning, and it is not appropriate to make an exception for the computer room alone.Although the comrades in question tried their best to explain that the installation of the air conditioner was for the maintenance of the machine rather than for personal enjoyment, they still couldn't break the leader's old mind and failed to convince the leader.

Later, the leaders of the unit went out to travel and visit with the comrades.At an exhibition of cultural relics, the leader found that some cultural relics were damaged or damaged, so he asked the narrator.The narrator explained that this is because the cultural relics protection department lacks sufficient funds and cannot keep the cultural relics under a constant temperature condition. If there are certain refrigeration equipment such as air conditioners, these cultural relics may be preserved more perfectly.After hearing this, the leader couldn't help feeling a little bit emotional.At this time, the person in charge of the computer room standing aside took the opportunity to whisper to the leader: "Actually, this is also the reason for installing air conditioners in the computer room!"

The leader glanced at him, pondered for a moment, and then said: "Go back and make a report." Soon, the leader approved the request of the computer room and installed air-conditioning equipment for them.

Responding to unreasonable behavior with punchlines

In interpersonal communication, people will inevitably encounter some unreasonable behaviors.But if you directly blame someone for bad or wrong behavior, he or she will turn against you.

In one field, a college student was completely blocked by the hat of a young woman in front of him, so he said to her, "Please take off your hat." But the woman didn't even look back. "Take off your hat, please," repeated the student angrily. "I paid fifteen rubles for this seat, and I can't see anything!"

"I spent 115 rubles on this hat. I want everyone to see it," said the young woman, still sitting motionless.She violated public morality, but plausibly refuted the normal intervention of college students.

Young friends, what should we do when we encounter such unreasonable behavior?Many people often vent their anger and scold scoundrels, but in the end, the other party is still plausible, well-reasoned, and the "reasons" are very sufficient, but they are so angry that their hands and feet tremble, and they can only say: "What's the reason, what's the reason .”

So, how should we speak to counter this unreasonable behavior, leaving the other party speechless and speechless?The following four points are worth noting.

1. Emotional peace
When encountering unreasonable behavior, the first thing to do is not to get excited, but to control your emotions.At this time, a peaceful state of mind plays an important role in counterattacking the opponent: first, it can show one's self-cultivation and tolerance, and restrain the opponent in terms of temperament with the masculine spirit of "suddenly approaching without being surprised, and without being angry for no reason", as follows It is not an act of bravery for the child to get angry and change his countenance.The ancients said: "It is not considered courageous for an ordinary man to stand up and fight when he sees humiliation." Not only will the opponent not be afraid of this, but he will be proud of your gaffe.The second is to be able to calmly consider countermeasures.Only when you are calm can you choose the best countermeasure calmly, otherwise, if you are confused, you may act recklessly, let alone say the best countermeasure.

2. Strong counterattack
When making a verbal counterattack against unreasonable behavior, you should not speak for a long time but miss the point, or use soft words, but you must hit the point accurately and hit the vital point at once; .

There was a man named Tom who took great pride in fooling others.This morning, he was eating bread at the door when he suddenly saw Uncle Jackson walking over on a donkey grunting.So he shouted: "Hey, have a piece of bread." The uncle quickly jumped off the donkey's back and said, "Thank you for your kindness. I have already had breakfast." Tom said solemnly: "I didn't ask You, I'm asking about the donkey." After speaking, he smiled triumphantly.

The uncle treated each other with courtesy, but was insulted instead.It is tolerable, what is unbearable!He was very angry, but it was difficult to scold the rascal, because the rascal would say: "I was talking to the donkey, and you interrupted!" After thinking about it, the uncle seized the flaw in Tom's language and launched a fierce counterattack.He turned around abruptly, pointed at the donkey with two slaps on the face, and cursed: "When I went out, I asked you if you had any friends in the city, and you firmly said no. If you don't have friends, why would people treat you to dinner?" Where's the bread?" "Ba, ba," aimed at the donkey's buttocks, and gave two more whips, saying, "Let's see if you dare to talk nonsense in the future." After speaking, he turned on the donkey and walked away.

Uncle's counterattack is quite strong.Since you insulted me with the assumption that you talked to the donkey, I will admit your assumption and teach the donkey to mock the "friend" relationship you established with the donkey, and give you a lesson.

3. Implicitly sarcastic

To fight back against unreasonable behavior, you can tell the truth, but sometimes it is not appropriate to show your sharpness, because it is too rigid, and rigidity is easy to break.Sometimes, insinuating sideways, hiding needles in the cotton, but more power.It can make the other party have no braids to catch, so they have to swallow the bitter fruit they planted, and secretly groan in their hearts.

One day, Burns saw a rich man being rescued from the river by the Thames.The rich man gave a pound to the man who risked his life to save him.The onlookers were all angered by this shameless act, and wanted to throw the rich man into the river again.Pence stepped forward to stop him: "Let him go, he knows the value of his life very well."

4. Clever borrowing
A verbal counterattack against unreasonable behavior is a confrontation between just language and unreasonable behavior.Therefore, the language of counterattack must show a certain connection with the opponent's language. It is in this connection that one can fully demonstrate one's wit and strength.There are three ways to achieve an ingenious connection between the two languages:

First, go with the words and contradict the meaning.The effect of this method is to make people feel that the unreasonable person is setting fire to himself and shooting himself in the foot.

The great German poet Heine was a Jew and was often attacked by some shameless people.At a party, a person said to him: "I found a small island, and there are no Jews and donkeys on this island!" Heine rolled his eyes at him and said calmly: "It seems that there are only you and me Going to that island together will make up for this shortcoming."

"Donkey" is often synonymous with "fool, fool" in German.In the face of Heine, who is a Jew, it is undoubtedly insulting to call "Jews and donkeys" together, but Heine did not scold him, and he did not even express any objection to this statement. Say "you and me", so that "you" and "donkey" are equal at once.

Second, the structures are similar and the meanings are relative.This method shows an extremely sharp antagonism in the similarity and comparison of the two languages.

The famous Danish fairy tale writer Hans Christian Andersen lived a simple life, often wearing a worn-out hat and walking on the street.Someone with malicious intentions laughed and said, "What is that thing on top of your head? Can it be called a hat?" Andersen replied, "What is that thing under your hat? Can it be called a head?"

Andersen's discourse is similar to the other party's discourse structure and words, but the position of a few key words is reversed, which immediately makes the opposite color extraordinarily vivid.

Third, pretending to enter is as wise as foolish.That is to pretend not to see through the other party's trap, and just go straight in.The effect of this method is to show that you don't care about the other person's little trick.

A jealous person wrote a sarcastic letter to Hemingway, a famous American writer, saying: "I know you are worth a lot of money now, and now I attach one dollar, please send me a sample to see."

Hemingway accepted the money and replied with one word - "Thank you"!Hemingway completely saw through the other party's attempt to make things difficult and humiliate others, but he didn't take it seriously at all, and he followed other people's demands to make things difficult, which ended up making it difficult for that person to step down.

(End of this chapter)