To communicate is to speak well

Chapter 11 Expressing precise intentions in precise language (1)
Of course, eloquence depends on considerable training, but eloquence is based on people's good thinking, good observation, wide range of interests, rich common sense, strong sympathy and sense of responsibility.Without the foundations listed above, you cannot become a person who can speak just because you are articulate.

The purpose of speaking is to express ideas
In order to enable our language to better express our original meaning or thoughts, we must strive to meet the following three requirements when speaking.

1. Speak logically

Orderly speaking means speaking in an orderly manner, without confusing things, not throwing things away, and explaining things and reasons clearly in a certain logical order, which reflects the speaker's clear thinking; it also means that the speaker's point of view is clear, consistent, and rigorous. , logically.This logic is the reasoning rules that speakers must abide by together. The following introduces two logical methods of reasoning.

First, analogy.This is a logical method to infer that other attributes of two types of things may also be the same or similar based on the same or similar attributes of some of them.Using this method of reasoning helps the listener understand the truth by analogy.For example, there is a passage in the old writer Qin Mu's "Talking about Accumulating Knowledge and Describing Things": "Finally, let's talk about the basic skills. The basic skills are very important for those who hold a pen. If you don't practice, you can't do it. As the saying goes: 'You can't leave your fist. , the song never leaves the mouth.'Painters often draw, singers often sing, but how can people who write write not write for several months?" Comparing writing with painting and singing, they all belong to the scope of literary and artistic creation. It has the same basic attributes, and is easy to understand and convincing.But be careful not to make mechanical analogies, that is, you can't use the accidental similarity or similarity between things as an argument, or compare things that are somewhat similar on the surface but completely different in substance, so as to draw an absurd or irrelevant conclusion.

Second, the method of proof by contradiction.There is a "self-contradictory" story in China. There is a man who sells spears and shields at the same time. He brags to buyers that his spears are "invincible" and shields are invulnerable.Therefore, someone immediately suggested that he "use the spear of the son to attack the shield of the son" to verify whether his propaganda is reliable, but this person was speechless on the spot.This is the specific application of the method of proof by contradiction.When a certain truth or problem is not easy to explain or refute positively, it is advisable to change the method of reasoning and explain the right and wrong of the problem by demonstrating whether the opposite topic is correct or not.

In order to make our speech more convincing, it is better to learn some simple logic methods, in addition to the two introduced above, there are also dilemma logic, reductio absurdum, etc.

2. Speak with a sense of proportion

There must be a sense of proportion in speaking, and a good sense of proportion. A very common sentence will add a little weight; words that are few and precise will give people a feeling of deliberation.The measure of speaking determines many factors such as the object, topic and context of your conversation.In other words, speak with moderation.

The opposite of "degree" is "lost degree". What is "lost degree"?Generally speaking, speaking rudely to people, or exposing people's shortcomings in front of everyone, or not saying what should be said, or saying everything that should not be said, these are all manifestations of "loss of measure".Below we briefly introduce some topics that are taboo in conversations. Exposure to these topics can easily lead to "lostness" of the conversation and produce adverse effects.

First, health status.Of course, this is not the case if you are talking with very close people.

Second, controversial topics.Unless you are very clear about the position of the other party, you should avoid talking about controversial and sensitive topics, such as religion, politics, parties and other topics that are likely to cause controversy or stalemate between the two parties.

Third, the privacy of others.Don't touch topics involving privacy, including age, price of things, salary, etc., as it may easily arouse disgust from others.

Fourth, personal misfortune.Don't bring up the hurt he suffered, such as his divorce or the death of his family, with the other party.Of course, if the other party brings it up, you should show sympathy and listen to him, but don't ask endlessly just to satisfy your curiosity.

Fifth, some stories of different tastes.Some colorful jokes may be very interesting to tell in the room, but the effect is not good when told in public, and it is easy to arouse the disgust of others.

In interpersonal communication, you must have a sense of proportion in your conversation, recognize your own identity, and consider your wording appropriately.What should be said, what should not be said, and how to say to get a better conversation effect should be paid attention to when talking.At the same time, we should also pay attention to the objectiveness of the speech as far as possible, seeking truth from facts, not exaggerating, and constantly taking meaning from the context.When speaking, try to be as sincere and kind as possible, and try not to say harsh, sarcastic, irritating or hurtful words to others.

3. Be tactful and reserved

Euphemism and implicitness is a kind of art of conversation that is both gentle and tactful and can express thoughts clearly and clearly. It is a method of expressing the original intention implicitly by using roundabout language.That is to say, the speaker deliberately says something related to the original meaning, so as to express the meaning that he wanted to say directly.This is a buffering method in language communication, which can make the originally difficult communication smooth, and allow the listener (or audience) to comprehend the speaker's original intention in a more comfortable atmosphere.

The distinctive feature of euphemism and implicitness is that "the words are here and the meaning is there", which can induce the other party to understand one's own words and find the hidden meaning.From a psychological point of view, euphemistic and subtle words, whether it is to put forward your own views or persuade the other party, can be more suitable for the other party's sense of self-esteem, and it is easy for the other party to agree with you psychologically and accept your own statement.Some words have similar meanings, slightly different expressions, but give people a very different feeling, such as: who—which one; not coming—I’m sorry, I can’t come; I can’t do—I’m sorry, I can’t do it; what ——May I ask what you need; if it doesn’t work, forget it——If you find it difficult, then I won’t bother you...Compared with the former, the former is too straightforward, while the latter is much more euphemistic and pleasant, making it easier to accept.

Lincoln had always spoken in visual terms, and when he grew weary of the long, complex official reports sent to the White House desk every day, he objected, but not in the prosaic terms. to protest, but in a pictorial phrase that is almost impossible to forget. "When I send a man out to buy a horse," he said, "I don't want the man to tell me how many hairs the horse has on its tail. I just want to know what's special about it."

There are several euphemistic and implicit methods of expression: the method of praise, the purpose is to save the face of the other party, and make it easy for the other party to step down; the method of implication, which can be used for words that are difficult to say;

practice eloquence in life
Many people think that eloquence is just a talent for speaking. They think that people with good eloquence are just because they are good at speaking, but they themselves cannot speak.They think that many eloquent people can say anything, and everything they talk about is beautiful, just because they are eloquent. This kind of view is one-sided and superficial.Of course, eloquence depends on considerable training, but eloquence is based on their good thinking, good observation, wide range of interests, rich common sense, strong sympathy and sense of responsibility.Without the foundations listed above, one cannot become a good eloquent person just by being eloquent.

As the saying goes: It is hard for a clever woman to cook without rice.People with good eloquence must always work hard on observation and thinking.They should constantly expand their interests, accumulate their knowledge, and cultivate their compassion and sense of responsibility.The subject matter source of their conversation is very substantial, what about you?Do you read newspapers every day?When you read the newspaper, do you just read the novels in the supplement for entertainment?Are you paying attention to important international and local news at the same time?Do you choose your programs carefully?Is it okay to just listen to it?Do you choose meaningful and exciting movies and plays?Is it possible to concentrate on enjoying it when watching a play, instead of sitting in the theater and dozing off?
The famous playwright Cao Yu once said that one day we become obsessed with language, that is when we have entered the gate, and then we may enter the family room and become a rich man in language.So, how should we learn and practice the language in detail?Here are several feasible and effective methods.

1. Deep into life
Life is the richest source of language.To enrich one's own language, it is difficult for a person who works behind closed doors and has no contact with the outside world to achieve his wish.Lao She once said: "Find language from life, and language will have roots." This statement contains a very profound truth.For example, the reform and opening up, the great changes in China, even rural girls and ordinary people in the city can talk about some new things they have heard and seen: joint production contract, farmers entering the city, ingenious advertisements, strange buildings, colorful dance halls , colorful clothing, "the peacock flies southeast"... We should learn and understand the language in these aspects in time.

(End of this chapter)