Elopement: My Decade of Life and Death in Thailand's Red Light District

Chapter 29 Go Home (1)
Those who have left have already left, but those who are alive are still alive. If you really have a conscience, do something for the living...

After fulfilling Lin Xiuer's wish, I really wanted to go home and see my parents right away, but I was afraid that my presumptuous visit would irritate my father who had heart disease.So I decided to go to a distant cousin who played together since childhood to inquire about the situation of the next family before making a decision.The way to find my cousin was not smooth at the beginning, so I went to my cousin's house according to my memory, but the old house there had been demolished long ago.Fortunately, I finally remembered that my cousin used to work in a public institution, and went to that public institution with the idea of ​​trying my luck.It really made me bump into my cousin when I got off work.Although we haven't seen each other for ten years, my cousin hasn't changed much, I recognized her immediately, on the contrary, I have changed too much, it took me a long time for my cousin to recognize me, and asked: "Are you Xiao Luo? Are you really Ronaldinho?"

This is the first time I have met a relative in so many years. Although it is only a distant cousin, I still feel like I have met a very close relative. My eyes suddenly turned red, and my voice began to choke, "Sister, it's me, I'm Ronaldinho!"

My cousin thumped my shoulder heavily and said, "Damn girl, where have you been after all these years?" My cousin's eye circles started to turn red after she finished speaking.

"I……"

After all, I can't say the following words. After all, it's not a glorious thing to say, and it's not something worthy of sympathy.

Seeing that I was hesitating, my cousin didn't continue to talk, and didn't continue to ask, and said, "When did you come back? Have you gone home?"

I shook my head and said, "It's been a day or two since I came back. My dad's heart is not very good, so I haven't dared to go back to see them. I just want to ask you about my family's situation. Are they okay?"

After hearing my words, my cousin's eyes became redder, and her expression became more excited. She said, "You know your dad's heart is not good now? Why didn't you know when you ran with that man? Did you know that?" Ever since you ran away with that man, your dad was so angry that you had a heart attack and passed away!"

Ah, how could this be?I looked at my cousin in astonishment, and couldn't believe what she just said.But her sad and angry expression undoubtedly told me that this was true, and I was the murderer who killed my father.

I lowered my head and didn't dare to look into my cousin's eyes anymore, because let alone my cousin didn't forgive me, even I couldn't forgive myself.It wasn't until a long time later that I raised my head and asked in a low voice, "What about my mother! How is she doing now?"

The cousin's expression became even more sad. She sighed and said, "Poor! Since your father was mad at you, your mother has been crying all day long, and finally she cried blindly. Then, an accident happened. , that day, she didn't know what she was going to do, she fell down the stairs outside your house and died after walking a few steps from home!"

God, how could this be?This is all my fault, if it wasn't for my own selfish thoughts, would it have brought my parents to such a miserable end?I couldn't help but raised my hand and slapped myself hard, just when I was about to wave my hand at myself again, my cousin grabbed my hand and said sharply: "Okay! Let's go People have gone, but the living are still alive, if you really have a conscience, do something for the living."

I looked at my cousin stupidly, but didn't understand what she meant.Seeing that I didn't understand, my cousin sighed again and said, "Gu Yifan suffered a lot for you, you should go and see him!"

It was only then that I realized that the living person mentioned by my cousin was Gu Yifan. Did something happen to Gu Yifan?I really dare not continue to imagine.

But I still couldn't help asking in a low voice: "Sister, tell me, did something happen to Yifan?"

How I wish my cousin would shake her head and say "no", but soon I saw her nodding her head affirmatively and saying: "In the world, there are really too few infatuated men like Gu Yifan. You treat him like this, but he always treats you like this." You never forget, and always want to get you back. The year before last, he didn't know where he heard that someone had seen you in the south, and then he ran away excitedly, who knew that he would meet in the south In a snow disaster that is rare in a century, he was involved in a car accident over there, and both legs were amputated!"

The successive blows made me completely stupid and blinded.It took me a long time to remember to ask: "Then who is taking care of him now, is it Duo Ze?"

Thinking of how young Gu Duoze would suffer so much because of my incompetent mother, I felt extremely guilty.If it hadn't been for so many years and so much suffering, I would have collapsed after hearing so much misfortune at this moment.

But what my cousin said next really broke me down.The cousin said, "No, now their unit has hired a nurse to take care of him. The child Dorze disappeared on his birthday. There has been no news of him for more than four years."

How did that happen?Where did Doze go? Such a brave child, he couldn't have disappeared because of escape. There must be a reason for his disappearance. What kind of reason could it be?At this moment, I have completely collapsed, and no matter standing on the street with people coming and going, I cried out with a "wow".

It wasn't until after crying for a long time that I asked my cousin who was watching me crying but kept silent, "Sister, where does Yifan live now? Have they moved?"

The cousin shook her head and said, "You still live in your old house. Gu Yifan said that if you move, you and Duo Ze will not be able to find him when you come back!"

What can I say in the face of such a loving and righteous man, and because I have become such a man.I wiped my tears hard and said to my cousin: "Sister, I know what I should do, thank you, I'm leaving!"

The cousin opened her mouth and seemed to want to say something more, but in the end she didn't say anything, just raised her hand and waved towards me.

Saying goodbye to my cousin, I went to the hotel and simply packed my luggage before heading home.Yes, that is my home, the home I share with Gu Yifan and Gu Duoze, but I abandoned it ten years ago, will it accept me ten years later?
Ten years ago, I couldn't wait to walk out from here, and ten years later, I returned here with scars all over my body.

Compared with the surrounding environment, the door of the house still looks so dilapidated.But it was so kind to me, I knocked on the door with trembling hands.Soon the door opened, and it was Gu Yifan who was sitting in a wheelchair who opened the door.

Even though he was sitting in a wheelchair, Gu Yifan's image was very tidy, and his appearance didn't change much. He grinned and asked, "Excuse me, who are you looking for?"

My tears welled up again, I stared blankly at Gu Yifan, and said after a while, "Yifan, I'm Xiao Luo, I'm back!"

Gu Yifan was also stunned, he stared at me for a long time, the expression on his face was also varied, ranging from surprise, joy, sadness to anger, but soon, his expression returned to calm, his indifferent He said, "Let's go, this place has nothing to do with you!"

Gu Yifan spoke so calmly, as if I was someone who had nothing to do with him.I had envisioned many scenarios of meeting Gu Yifan, but this was the only one I had envisioned.

I stood there at a loss, not knowing what to do, Gu Yifan issued an order to evict the guest:
"I'm tired and want to rest, please close the door for me before you leave."

After Gu Yifan finished speaking, he turned the wheelchair and slid towards the bedroom. It was the bedroom where he and I used to be, but I was no longer qualified to follow in with confidence.Regarding this home, I admit that I am guilty and timid, even though this is the place I have longed for ten years outside.

But I came back to redeem my sins, not just to take a look at this house.Just when Gu Yifan's wheelchair had slipped into the bedroom, I rushed in from the door and shouted to Gu Yifan: "Yifan, don't let me go? Can you let me stay and take care of you?"

Gu Yifan turned his back to me and said coldly: "You go, I don't need you to sympathize with me or pity me! You have already seen that I am a paralyzed person now. I couldn't keep you before, and I don't even want to keep you now! "

What I am most worried and afraid of is that Gu Yifan regards me as a passer-by, but from his indifference to me just now, I can see that Gu Yifan has hatred for me, isn't it that love is as deep as hatred?
Without even thinking about it, I knelt down with a "plop", cried and said, "Yifan, I didn't ask you to stay because I sympathized with you or felt pity for you. I just couldn't find a place to live."

Gu Yifan sneered: "Hahaha, didn't you follow that man back then? Didn't you get dumped by him now? Then you came back and begged me again? But the old Gu Yifan couldn't give you the glory and wealth you wanted, The current Gu Yifan is just a paralyzed man, let alone give you what you want!"

Kneeling, I moved to Gu Yifan's soft chair step by step and said: "Yifan, I already know that I was wrong. I have been living in regret for so many years. I don't ask you to forgive me, because I can't forgive myself. Myself, I just beg you, let me stay and take care of you, to atone for my past, okay?"

"Atonement, what qualifications do you have to say these two words, can you bring father and mother back to life? Can you make my legs stand up? Can you make up for Dorze's lack of maternal love and let him go home? If If you can, you can stay, and I will give you this so-called chance of redemption. Otherwise, you can leave, you live your life of wealth, and I live my life of poverty.”

(End of this chapter)