Sadness begins with your name

Chapter 23 We All Loved Once
Too happy or too sad time will always give people an illusion of the passage of time.When I was still ignorantly immersed in the great grief of losing Ning Qinglan and the annihilation of nothing to lose, the days had slipped by day by day, and inadvertently, the most frivolous years of youth were forgotten bought.

In my life, the most lackluster is the three years of high school.What it brought me was a gray background, high and low score rankings, piles of review materials, and the ideal university in the light blue form posted on everyone's desk.

my ideal?

It was March when I filled out the form, and through the classroom window, I could see pieces of golden cauliflower connected together, like a burning golden flame.

Looking at the kite in the sky, I thought, maybe it's time to go to Beijing for a walk.

In this life, I will not make a kite, and I don't want to be held in anyone's hands.I want to be a bird, keep flying, keep singing, and become a wind that comes and goes freely when I am dying.

For three years, I had no contact with Lin Beifeng, nor with Wei Young.I think, maybe these people are just a wind in life, brushing their shoulders and faces, but once they pass, they will never come back.

In June, it was as hot as fire, and my uncle sent me outside the examination room, patted my shoulder and said, "Girl, I believe you will pass the examination in Beijing!"

Years later, every high school reunion, we can’t help but talk about our experiences in the college entrance examination. Some were too nervous, some were too relaxed and fell asleep and handed in a blank paper. But whether it’s a classmate who fought with a smile, or a classmate who started all over again with tears We, whenever we recall, are very emotional.

Except for me.

During the two days of the college entrance examination, my heart was like an ancient lake, and I answered all the test papers calmly.

In September, the admission notice of a famous university in Beijing arrived.My uncle went to the street to buy chicken, duck, beef and other delicious food, and my aunt gave me 200 yuan to buy clothes for the first time.I lowered my head to look at my school uniform, which had been washed to an old look, and I took the money.

I went to the lady's house and chose a white dress for myself. Although the style is simple, taking advantage of my short black hair and thin face, it has a special taste.

On this day, my uncle got very drunk, and I also drank several cups of Hua Diao, my head was dizzy and my feet were floating when I walked.My aunt recounted the difficulty of taking care of my cousin and me in the past three years. I listened to it in my heart, and although I didn't say it, I was grateful in my heart.

"Sand, sand..." Uncle tongue tied, still patted my shoulder and talked to me non-stop, first laughed, then cried, crying and laughing for a while, aunt pulled him and insisted to let him in room to sleep.

"That father of yours... is really not a thing! Call, what's his name?" Uncle stood up suddenly, opened aunt's arm with a wave of his hand, and at the same time swept over the dishes and rice bowls on the table.

His eyes were blood red, and he thumped the top of his head, as if remembering something, "Bo...Bo Yuntian...that's right, it's called Bo Yuntian, what kind of meaning is Bo Yuntian, it's a waste of a good name, it's just heartless and ungrateful!"

He lowered his head and pointed at me, his pupils were out of focus: "I said he is heartless and ungrateful! I said that men are fucking ungrateful and ungrateful, Bao Sha, my good girl, you have to open your eyes wide in the future. Don't trust men easily...you know?"

"Got it, got it." I tried to help him back to the room, but my uncle pushed my aunt away, grabbed my shoulder and said, "I have something to tell you, come on, Shasha."

Under my aunt's eyes full of question marks, I helped my uncle back to the bedroom carefully.

He first took out a tin box from the cabinet in the corner, then staggered to a certain drawer to take out a small key and threw it to me.

"Open the box."

"What is it?" The lock looked like it hadn't been opened for a long time, and it was rusty, and it took me a lot of effort to open it.

There are some odds and ends of "groceries" in front of me, a lame doll, a few glass marbles, colorful candy wrappers, matchboxes and so on.

"Your mother and I used to play with this when we were young, and we have never been willing to throw it away." The uncle said, his drunken eyes became clearer, and he reached out and searched in the clothes of a rag doll with golden braids. , he took out a card-like thing.

"This is what your mother left you." Uncle put the card in my hand.

It's a passbook, I caught it, and didn't froze for a long time.

"There are 40 in it. Now that you have grown up, I should give it to you." The uncle said, smiling and closing the iron box.

"But where did she get so much money?" The family had less than [-] savings when they got divorced. Over the years, they have spent about the same amount of money to subsidize the family for my education.

"House." I understood. It turned out that Ning Qinglan lied to me from the very beginning. She probably knew that she had cancer a long time ago. In order to entrust me to someone else, she returned to Zhenjiang and handed me over to her uncle.

The house was not rented out at all, but sold to the Northeastern family.

At this moment, I couldn't tell how I felt. My aunt was knocking on the door outside, thinking that my uncle had given me something private.Uncle patted my head and said, "The password is your father's birthday. She said you must remember it."

After that, he sighed: "It seems that she has no feelings for him at all..."

Holding the passbook in my palm, I bowed my head and went out. My aunt asked with a puzzled face: "What's the matter, it's so mysterious..." Suddenly turned to my uncle angrily: "Did you secretly give her money? The last time you gave her five Ten, today I will…" The last few sentences were cut off by the closed door, I paused and hurried back to my room.

With money, I can leave here without any scruples and go to Beijing.

The idea of ​​vowing not to set foot in the city of Beijing has suddenly changed in the grown-up Bao Shanao.

Not only was I going to Beijing where Bo Yuntian and Ye Congling, the little goblin, were, but I also wanted to enter their lives in a grandiose manner.And the promise with a boy and a girl was just because there happened to be them in that place.

Before leaving for Beijing, I went to visit Ning Qinglan.In such a quiet environment, her life has only become a few words on the cold stone tablet.I put a bouquet of white chrysanthemums in front of her grave, smiled wryly and said to her: "You are so stupid, loving one for a lifetime is not enough. One Lin Yuehe has already left you riddled with wounds, what else do you have to love Bo Yuntian."

"You use his birthday to set the password, are you telling me to remember love, or reminding me not to forget hate?"

I was confused, the breeze blowing through the pine forest made a humming sound, the sky gradually dimmed, and Ning Qinglan would never give me an answer.

I turn and leave.

Perhaps, we have all loved, but now the love has been diluted by time, only the wound, hidden under the time, has never refused to scab.

(End of this chapter)