Sadness begins with your name

Chapter 43 Goodbye, Beijing

Heartache is not enough to kill a person's life, it just makes a heart that once yearned for love die completely.

That night, I was lying on a certain road covered with thick snow. Fortunately, I was not run over by a car, nor was I frozen to death by the snow.I woke up in the middle of the night, got up and walked alone on the road for a long time.

I threw away my phone, because it kept ringing, and the caller's name was almost half of the contacts in my phone book, Jiang Chenxi's, Ye Weiyang's, Lin Beifeng's, Cheng Shanan's, the school head teacher's, and even Bo Yuntian, Ye Congling also called me, has everything turned upside down?Did they think I was dead?
At dawn, I ran downstairs to the Central Group Building. It was not time for work, and only the security guards started to work.I huddled in the corner next to the entrance of the building, waiting silently.

The sun was gradually rising, and last night's heavy snow caused traffic jams in the city, and people who came to work all complained when they entered the door.The damn snow, they said.

See, when it doesn't snow, they look forward to the snow and praise it, and when it causes them the slightest trouble, selfish people start cursing and complaining.The human heart is so unpredictable.

When Cheng Shanan's blue Porsche parked slowly in the parking lot in front of the building, I stood up.He got out of the car, still wearing the black windbreaker he had seen last time, the driver handed him a blind stick, he took it, and walked steadily towards the door.

I walked up to him and called him softly: "Cheng Shanan."

He paused, his face wearing sunglasses quickly turned to my direction, "Thin Sha?" His voice was full of surprise and surprise, "Why are you here?"

I threw myself into his arms, buried my face deeply into his shoulder, and said, "Can you take me away?"

Cheng Shanan's office is on the sixteenth floor, spacious and transparent, with plenty of sunlight.The leather sofa is so soft that almost the whole body sinks in after sitting on it.The air conditioner was also fully turned on, holding a cup of hot coffee, the chill on my body finally subsided a little.

He sat down next to me, staring at me with unfocused eyes, listening to every sound I made.

"You said you were leaving Beijing?" He asked softly, his voice as gentle as water.

I nodded numbly, and a hoarse voice came out of my throat: "I can't stay here any longer, not even for a day." Thinking of the scene last night, I couldn't help trembling all over my body.I can't tolerate betrayal, even though I loved him so humblely, but since I promised to live my whole life, I will never forgive his deception and betrayal!

His eyes filled with tears before he knew it. His fingertips brushed over and touched my tears, and his voice was full of distress: "Although you don't say what happened, I promise you. I will definitely take you Walk."

As soon as he finished speaking, the mobile phone on the desk rang, he picked it up to catch it, and asked, "Hello, who is it?"

"Oh, it's you." He paused, covered the receiver and whispered to me, "It's Lin Beifeng."

I waved at him again and again, but he couldn't see me. I hurriedly stood up and grabbed his cell phone, snapping it off.He sighed, "Wouldn't he be more suspicious if you did this? He asked if you were with me."

My chest was full of anger, and I smiled coldly: "Since I want to leave, I will never let him find it. If you are afraid that I will cause trouble for you, I will leave by myself."

After finishing speaking, I put the coffee cup on the coffee table, and when I turned around, my hand was firmly grasped by Cheng Shanan. He hugged me gently, and whispered in his ear, "Fool, I can't wish for it. But, Where do you want to go? Domestic or foreign?"

I didn't say a word, because my heart was in a mess, I just wanted to leave, it didn't matter where I went.

He pondered for a while, and said slowly: "How about Chicago? I have a house there and I also opened a small coffee shop. After I finish the formalities for your school suspension, you can find a school over there. Help me run the coffee shop while reading. I think that's it, okay?"

At this time, I leaned on his shoulder, almost drowsy, and I said, "Okay."

For the next two days, I stayed at Cheng Shanan's house and didn't go anywhere.He owns a house with three bedrooms and one living room. The decoration style is simple and fashionable. His aunt cooks three meals a day on time, and there is also a part-time worker to clean the house.There are a lot of green plants on the balcony of my house, standing there overlooking half of the city, but I don't have the heart to appreciate it.

I often stay alone in a quiet house, I think a lot, struggle in my heart, but I can't let go of it after all.I tried to call Lin Beifeng, thinking that maybe I should give him a chance to explain, but every time I finished pressing the numbers, I couldn't press the call button.

The next afternoon, Cheng Shanan came back and put the two tickets in front of me. He said in a very relaxed tone, "Everything is settled. The flight will be early tomorrow, and I will have a good rest tonight."

Feeling a little unspeakably disappointed, I murmured, "It's been done so quickly? The procedure for suspending school has been completed? Where's the passport?"

He took off his coat and leather shoes, touched my head, and said with a smile: "Everything is fine, don't you believe in my ability?"

Believe.I turned around and sat on the sofa stupidly, without saying a word.

After eating, I suddenly said to Cheng Shanan, "I want to go back and get something."

He froze for a moment, and asked, "Where are you going back to Lin Beifeng?"

I nodded, seeing how disappointed he was, and patted the back of his hand comfortingly: "You go with me."

The handsome face of the man on the opposite side immediately burst into a bright brilliance.

After dinner, it was about 07:30. When I went out, I heard the ending song of the news broadcast that had not changed for a hundred years from the neighbor’s house across the street. I told Cheng Shanan that when I arrived in the United States, I was afraid that I would never see the news broadcast again.

He smiled and said, it's just jet lag.

The car quickly arrived at Lin Beifeng's downstairs, but I sat in the car and refused to get down.Cheng Shanan held my hand silently, and patted the back of my hand, as if comforting.

"Come on, I'll go up with you."

I agreed, feeling vaguely, but with him around, I wouldn't regret it.God knows, how worried I am that I will soften my heart after seeing Lin Beifeng, regret it, and throw myself into his arms without a sound, begging him not to abandon me, begging him to love me well for the rest of his life.

Three floors, 54 steps, walked countless times, but never as long as today.

The door was firmly closed, I raised my hand and knocked a few times, but no one opened.Cheng Shanan said, maybe not at home.

I took the key and opened the door. The living room seemed to be the same as when I left. The half-eaten bag of potato chips was still there on the coffee table. Hasn’t he been home these days?

The photos that I took down on a whim that day were blown all over the living room by the wind. I picked them up one by one and hid them in the inner pocket of my coat.

During this period, Cheng Shanan stood quietly in the living room, while I returned to the bedroom and slowly packed my things.

In fact, it's nothing but clothes, skin care products, cold medicine, stomach medicine and other odds and ends.I didn't keep anything related to him except the photos.

On the ring finger of my left hand, I took off the rose silver ring that he personally put on for me, and I gently took it off and put it on the bedside.When she lowered her head, she accidentally shed tears, and the tears hit her fingers, where there was already a faint ring mark.

During the whole process, he never came back.

That's right, Lin Beifeng is indeed a wind-like figure, and when he doesn't want to, he doesn't even turn his head.It can be seen that, as expected, he has never, loved me deeply.

Even if there is, it may be just a shallow liking.Like the ring mark on this finger, it won't take long for it to fade away naturally.

"Are you ready?" Sensing me walking out of the bedroom, Cheng Shanan asked softly, "Do you want to say goodbye to him?"

I sneered: "No need. Let's go."

The next day I woke up early and sent text messages to many people on the phone Cheng Shanan bought for me.I told Bo Yuntian that I love him.Say to Ye Congling, I'm sorry.

The text message to Lin Beifeng originally said I love you, but when it was about to be sent at the end, I severely deleted it and quickly typed out a line: Lin Beifeng, I never regret loving you for eight years.But never forgive deceit and betrayal because of deep love.goodbye!
After sending the text message, I turned off the phone.

The driver's car was already waiting downstairs, so I packed my belongings and followed Cheng Yanan downstairs to the airport.

I was very quiet along the way, with my eyes closed, but I was experiencing an endless struggle in my mind.Do I really want to go with Cheng Shanan?
Will it be a lifetime to go like this?
Do I love Cheng Shanan?Can I spend my life with him?Can I be sure that my feelings for him are not guilt and dependence, but true love?
Of course I can't be sure.

The airport is here.The sturdy driver also wearing sunglasses moved our luggage out of the off-road vehicle. In order to take care of me and Cheng Shanan, the full-time Porsche driver Xiao Zhang went to the United States with us.

Of course, the name of Cheng Shanan's trip this time is for business trips. He said that he can often "travel" in the future and be a "trapeze" between Chicago and Beijing.

There are still 10 minutes before boarding, Cheng Shanan said, let's find a place to sit for a while, do you want something to drink?

Xiao Zhang immediately said cleverly that he would buy it.

The war in my head is not over yet, my heart is messed up like a cat scratching, I said to Cheng Shanan: "If I'm not good, will you blame me, hate me?"

He smiled kindly, scratched my hair, and whispered: "Why are you not good? Am I treating you badly?"

I shook my head and gave a dry laugh, not knowing what to say.There were many people in the waiting hall, and a mother and daughter sat next to them. The young mother was holding a baby who was a few months old. The baby was crying with his mouth open for some reason.

I felt like my head was going to explode, Huo Di stood up and said, "I'm going to the bathroom."

Cheng Shanan nodded: "I'll wait for you here, hurry up, it's almost time for boarding." He didn't notice, and I took my luggage away.

After walking for a long distance, I looked back and saw that Xiao Zhang had returned to Cheng Shanan with two cups of hot coffee. They were talking, but I took the opportunity to turn around and dodged into a corner of the hall.

Soon it was time to board the plane, and the announcement in the lobby reminded passengers of the flight to Chicago to board the plane over and over again.I saw Cheng Shanan standing up, and Xiao Zhang looking around with his luggage, they must be looking for me.

I chose to hide and choose to give up.

However, when I leaned my back against the corner and watched Cheng Shanan standing in a daze in the crowded airport hall, calling my name anxiously, my heart ached. I covered my mouth to keep myself from crying, but Tears almost drowned himself.

Xiao Zhang put all his things down and ran around in the lobby. I saw him running towards the women's restroom. passenger, I said to him: "Can you help me?"

My foreign language is not enough and I have more and more complicated communication with him. I lowered my voice and told him eagerly in Chinese: "I must leave here, but I can't go with that man. He will ruin my life..." I pointed Cheng Shanan, who was standing less than ten meters away from me but could not see me at all, said to the young man in front of me whose arm was being held by me.

He is a foreigner, carrying an extremely large travel bag, tall and tall, with light brown curly hair, and gray eyes as bright as amber, looking at me unblinkingly, with a sense of scrutiny and curiosity .

He said in slightly blunt Chinese: "But miss, your ticket is Chicago, and I'm going to Vancouver."

I grabbed his sleeve tightly and begged him pitifully: "Please take me to Vancouver, Mr. Really, as long as I get on the plane to Vancouver, I will never bother you again, please help me...Look at him , I'll be looking for it soon..."

At this time, Cheng Shanan had already taken out his blind stick and was carefully walking in the hall towards the ticket gate.

The foreign man squinted his eyes and glanced at him, sighed: "Oh, a blind man." His eyes turned to my face again, at this time I couldn't help crying, the tears messed up my pretty face , just when I thought this person looked indifferent and might not help me, he looked me up and down and nodded: "Ok, follow me."

That's how I got to know Anthony, so dramatically it's almost unbelievable.But in a person's life, there will always be one or two people who accidentally appear at an important turning point in your life, and then completely change your life.

On that day, I successfully followed a strange German man, Anthony, on a flight from Beijing to Vancouver.Because he often comes to Beijing for self-guided tours, he has become a frequent visitor to the airport, so that even several of the staff have become good friends with him.And I pretended to be his girlfriend, holding his lapel, and boarded the Vancouver flight amidst the friendly smiles and blessings of the airport staff.

Before leaving, I looked back, and Cheng Shanan was still standing in the middle of the crowd, leaning on a blind cane, with a bewildered, helpless, disappointed, and desolate look on his face.

I am not willing to go with him.This point, he must, know it well.

Goodbye, Cheng Shanan, goodbye, Beijing.

(End of this chapter)