Emperor's Girl Allure: Monk Lord, I won't marry

Chapter 91

"It's okay... Hua'er..." "It's okay..." Su Jinxi breathed a sigh of relief: "It should have been like this... It's been so long... It should have been like this..." Su Jinxi murmured softly, but no one knew What is she talking about.

"I should have left long ago..."

"Mother." Yu Jinyuan frowned.

"What nonsense are you talking about? As long as you have a good rest, your body will recover." He thought Su Jinxi was talking nonsense, but he couldn't see the sadness in Su Jinxi's eyes at this moment.

"Heh..." Su Jinxi smiled. "I called you all back... It's okay, I can leave safely only with you by my side."

Upon hearing this, Yu Qinghua and Yu Jinyuan frowned inadvertently.

Yu Qinghua said: "Mother, don't say these words anymore, you should rest." After speaking, Yu Qinghua wanted to help Su Jinxi's body and put her down on the bed.

"No... I don't want to lie down..." Su Jinxi insisted on refusing to lie down, so Yu Qinghua could only exchange a glance with Yu Jinyuan, and let go of his hands helplessly.

"Mother, you can't do this."

Yu Qinghua sighed: "Your body is still very weak at the moment, if you don't take a good rest, it will be very difficult."

But Su Jinxi shook his head, and said: "No problem..." "I can hold on for a while..." Yu Tsinghua and the others frowned again when he said this.

"Hua'er, do you still remember that you always loved to follow Xiao Qin when you were young?"

"At that time, you always clamored to marry him when you grew up."

"Hehe, seeing you always pestering him shamelessly made me and your father feel that it was the right choice to propose marriage to you before you were born..."

Su Jinxi closed her eyes slightly, with a smile on the corner of her mouth, and kept recalling the past memories.

"Mother..." Yu Qinghua's vision was a little blurred.

"It's fine, why mention these." She said, with a hint of choking between her words.

Su Jinxi smiled lightly: "Hua'er, do you blame the queen mother?"

Shaking his head, Yu Qinghua said: "When did Hua'er blame the queen, the queen really thought too much."

"fair enough……"

"Just don't blame the queen mother..."

Yu Qinghua looked at Su Jinxi incomprehensibly, not knowing what she was talking about, but she always felt that something was wrong, but she couldn't say it.

"You and Xiao Qin..."

Yu Qinghua raised his head, and suddenly heard Su Jinxi mentioning her and Xiao Qin, a little confused.

Su Jinxi sighed slightly: "If you don't like him, then forget it."

hum...

For a moment, something in Yu Tsinghua's heart seemed to be broken.

She forced herself to look at Su Jinxi calmly, pretending not to care and asked: "Why did the mother say such things? Xiao Qin and I have always been very good..." Yes, we have always been very good...

Yu Qinghua smiled self-deprecatingly in her heart, maybe she always thought it was good, but she ignored Xiao Qin's feelings, after all, she couldn't give him what he wanted, and staying together forcibly would only increase the injury Sad.

However, even though she knew it all, even if she understood everything, when Su Jinxi really mentioned this to her, her heart still trembled slightly...

I can't bear it...

Maybe it's because she has regarded Xiao Qin as her own from the bottom of her heart since a long time ago; it has been so long that she can no longer watch him with others... This feeling is really extraordinary sad.

Xiao Qin, Xiao Qin... Obviously don't love you, obviously can't be with you... But even so, I still don't want to let you go...

Yu Qinghua's shoulders trembled slightly, and then he regained his composure.

She is getting more and more selfish.

"Hua'er..."

Su Jinxi's delicate voice came over, interrupting all of Yu Qinghua's thoughts.

"Ok?"

"The queen mother hopes that you can be happy..."

"You can find a man who really makes you happy...he will comb your hair full of gray hair..." Su Jinxi's hand was stroking along Yu Tsinghua's hair non-stop.

"That man must be able to make you feel at ease..."

"It's not like it is now... Hua'er, your heart is in a mess..."

"Xiao Qin, he can't make you feel at ease..." Su Jinxi said every sentence, while Yu Qinghua could hear his heart beating faster.

She, disturbed?
Is she really upset?

Ah……

Isn't it true, how could she still have a peaceful heart after having died once?

Isn't her heart in a mess long ago?
Yes, so what is there to pursue?

Someone who can reassure her?

Tch... how could such a person exist.

I am afraid that this life will be spent like this. In fact, in this way, it doesn't matter who that person is. Whether it is Xiao Qin or someone else, it is the same to her, because there is no one. Can make her feel at ease, no...

"Mother..."

Yu Tsinghua said calmly: "Stop talking, it's time for you to rest."

Su Jinxi smiled lightly: "No need...I'm fine like this."

"You want to be happy... the queen mother hopes that you can be happy... at least, happier than now." As she said, Su Jinxi's eyes gradually turned to Yu Jinyuan who had been standing by the side, and the soft light flashed past.

"Jin'er."

"Yes, Queen Mother." Hearing Su Jinxi's soft call, Yu Jinyuan slowly stepped forward.

Su Jinxi's face was gentle, she smiled: "I let you go out to practice, have you ever blamed the queen mother?"

Yu Jinyuan shook his head with certainty in his eyes: "Mother... the child is the same as my sister, and I have never blamed you."

Su Jinxi nodded: "That's good..." Then she looked at Yu Jinyuan again, and said, "You have grown into a handsome man now, it's time to take responsibility... Remember when you were just born, You always have to snuggle in the arms of the queen mother, and you have to sing nursery rhymes to you before you can fall asleep..."

"Time flies so fast..." Su Jinxi raised her head slightly, as if immersed in infinite memories.

"I don't want you to be so big in a blink of an eye..."

"When you were too young, the queen mother always worried about you...I always felt that if I went like this, no one would take care of you..."

Yu Qinghua and Yu Jinyuan's sadness could be heard in the indifferent tone, but the two of them had a tacit understanding and neither of them interrupted Su Jinxi, they just listened silently.

"I hope my Jin'er can grow into a good son...I hope you can support everything and become a king who can last forever..."

"And Hua'er, I only hope that you can be happy... that you can find someone who will make you feel at ease all your life, and that you don't want to grow old in vain, just want peace of mind is the best..."

"But, I don't seem to be able to wait for that time... I can't hold on anymore, I have to take a step first... You guys, remember my words, no matter what, be happy."

"Queen, don't say these words again, Hua'er, I beg you..." Yu Qinghua looked at Su Jinxi with moist eyes, and his sadness was beyond words.

"Heh... In my whole life, I have hardly ever smiled... Such a gentle smile all day is not a real smile... Now, I want to laugh, a real smile..."

After talking on and on, Su Jinxi finally raised the corners of her lips, revealing two small canine teeth, which made Qinghua feel sad. She had never seen such a smile on her mother's face.

"I'm leaving..." Saying that, Su Jinxi took another deep look at her two children.

"The queen mother is really happy to see you adults... But now, I'm leaving... I won't be able to see your future."

"Queen, what are you talking about? Tsinghua doesn't understand, and I don't want to understand. Tsinghua only knows that you haven't seen Tsinghua getting married, you haven't seen the prince's brother ascend the throne, you haven't enjoyed the blessing, you haven't watched How happy we will be in the future... Tsinghua has not made you truly happy... How can you, how can you just leave, Tsinghua won't let you go, won't let you go... Tsinghua has missed it once, can't It’s the second time I made a mistake, Tsinghua doesn’t want to watch you leave without being able to do anything, this kind of pain, Tsinghua doesn’t want to go through it again..."

"Queen Mother... You must be well... Tsinghua can no longer bear the pain of losing you... Tsinghua has not finished enjoying the happiness of having a queen mother... Tsinghua has not yet experienced the comfort of being with a queen mother... Tsinghua has not had time to repay you Your kindness in life and upbringing... Tsinghua has not had time to do anything... Queen Mother... You must be good, be good, don't make Tsinghua sad, don't let Tsinghua experience that pain again, Tsinghua, please, please, Queen Mother..."

Yu Qinghua finally couldn't bear to cry bitterly, she was crying hoarsely, begging powerlessly, she just hoped that Su Jinxi could reply her: "Okay, the queen mother will not leave, the queen mother will always be by your side."

However, there was no answer. No matter how much she shouted, Su Jinxi never answered her in this way.

The only answer to her was Yu Jinyuan silently patted her on the back, while Su Jinxi kept smiling sweetly.

"Queen, don't laugh like this...don't laugh like this... Tsinghua, please..." Yu Qinghua cried weakly, she didn't want to see Su Jinxi's smile, but thought that smile was really dazzling, very dazzling... It made her unable to open her eyes and see Su Jinxi's face clearly.

Why is she still going through this?Why did she come back to feel the bitter cry of losing her mother again?Why does she know everything but still can't do anything?Why did she still avoid everything, or could she not escape her doomed doom?
There are too many questions, and she has no place to ask them. She doesn't know where to ask them, and she doesn't know who to ask them.

For the first time, she suddenly felt that she was so useless.

She, nothing can be changed, nothing can be redeemed...

She turned out to be so useless...

"Hua'er...don't be like this, if you are like this, the queen mother will not have a good time." Yu Jinyuan couldn't bear to see his sister in such pain, so he spoke out to dissuade her.

His hand has been patting her back gently, just thinking that she can calm down and stop being so emotional.

But where did Yu Tsinghua calm down? At this moment, all she can think about is her own powerlessness, her uselessness...

She knows everything but can't change anything. This reality is so shocking to her that she doesn't know how to face it.

The more I think about it, the more I can't forgive myself... She is so useless... Really, damn it...

However, Su Jinxi always had a sweet smile. She reached out and stroked Yu Qinghua's cheek, and said, "Remember what the queen mother said... Hua'er..."

Su Jinxi's smile became brighter and brighter. At this moment, a nurse's urgent call came from outside the hall: "Your Majesty, the emperor is here."

However, Su Jinxi didn't insist at all, and slowly closed her eyes, and then, her hand slipped down from Tsinghua's cheek like that, silently, until now there was still a sweet smile on that soft face. smile.

"Mother..."

"Mother..."

Two heart-piercing yells made Yu Chongxuan, who hurried over from outside the hall, startled. He hurried to the inner hall, only to see Yu Qinghua and Yu Jinyuan flinging on the bed.

(End of this chapter)