I forget you with my wedding

Chapter 85

Lin Rongshen said from the side: "It is estimated that she will not be able to calm down during this period of time."

Hearing Lin Rongshen's meaningful words, the dean smiled and said, "I don't care about that anymore. You are the child's father, and it depends on you."

The dean suddenly sighed, looked at Lin Rongshen and said with a sigh: "I didn't expect time to flow like water, and the voice of the door that I was most proud of before is now a father."

Lin Rong said with a deep smile, "You still haven't changed anything."

The dean shook his head melancholy and said: "I'm old, I'm old, I can't do it anymore, and I should retire in a few years." The dean patted Lin Rongshen on the shoulder and said: "However, Rong Shen, as your Teacher, I have to persuade you that surgery has more room for development for you. I hope you will think about it again. After all, you are a rare talent in surgery. I heard that you transferred to another department for this matter, teacher It’s been a long time since I regretted it.”

Lin Rongshen responded lightly, "I will think about this issue carefully."

Hearing what he said, the dean showed a satisfied smile, and the two talked for a while, because the dean had other things to deal with, Lin Rongshen and my attending doctor sent him out of my ward together, waiting for everyone to leave When he was almost finished, Lin Rongshen came in from the ward, looked at me who was still lying on the bed in a daze, and said, "The one just now was my mentor in college, and he is a surgeon who is admirable both in terms of medical skills and conduct. doctor."

I said, "I don't know him well, why are you telling me this?"

Lin Rongshen sat beside my hospital bed, held my hand on the quilt and said: "When I sent him out just now, he said that I have a good eye for women."

I stared at him with wide eyes, and he squeezed my hand and said, "Are you happy to be praised?"

I pulled my hand out of his palm, turned my back to him and said, "What's there to be happy about, you have a good eye for picking women, how much is Millie, rich and beautiful, and she's still a little girl Girl, innocent and cute, which man is not tempted?"

Lin Rongshen laughed softly when he heard what I said, and said, "I seem to smell vinegar."

Only then did I realize that there was obvious complaint and sarcasm in my tone, I put the quilt over my head and said, "I'm going to sleep, you go."

But Lin Rongshen didn't move, but looked at me covered in the quilt and smiled. After a long time, he reached out and took off the quilt covering my face, and said softly, "Fool, this way the baby can breathe." I can't." He leaned down and hugged me gently from behind, put his hands on my lower abdomen, and said softly: "You know, the child is really a miraculous existence, in two or three months, he will have small hands and feet Little head, in a few months, he will know that when the mother's belly is naughty, when you rest at night, you will find that he will turn the river under your belly when you are full. After the child is born in a few months, you as a mother You will hear his first wailing, and then slowly and slowly, he will grow up bit by bit, he will call mom and dad, he will make noise, laugh, cry, a fresh life That's how it came about."

Lin Rongshen's tone is obviously so flat and so low, but every word he said just now seems to have smashed into my heart deeply, and I can't dig it out, but it is faintly touching my heart in the flesh and blood, that feeling It's really strange. From his words, I can feel what the child will look like after it is born.

Lin Rongshen's hands that hugged my body tightened a lot. He buried his face in my neck and took a deep breath, and said in a helpless tone, "Lai Lai, stop making trouble, okay? I believe you will be a good person in the future. Mother."

My heart skipped a beat. Everything he said just now was a great temptation to me. I also want to be a good mother, but can I do it?Can the two of us give this child a good family?

Can both of us really forget those things that are between us?His grandfather will accept me?Will my mother accept Lin Rongshen?The two of us have been entangled for so long, because does a child really have a future?
No, these layers of checkpoints make my scalp numb just thinking about it. Any one of these things makes me feel that the road is long. I don’t have the courage to open up the previous scars. It hurts too much for me, the pain is unbearable.

But what can I do now?Are you really going to kill this child with your own hands?The question is can I do it?

I couldn't help laughing at myself in my heart, thinking that there is no way out for me now, I have already been blocked by Lin Rongshen in this dead end, it seems that if I don't want to go, I can only go to the only way.

The next day, Sister Tan came to the hospital to see me, and saw that I was lying on the bed and eating fruits leisurely, while Lin Rongshen beside the bed was seriously peeling apples, so she leaned against the door frame and clasped her hands, tsk tsk, After finishing tut, he said in a very sour tone: "Sure enough, a woman with children is a treasure. I'm so jealous."

The sudden occurrence of Sister Tan made me look up suddenly, only to find that she had been standing at the door watching for a long time, probably because she was eating too fast, and Sister Tan’s voice suddenly scared me, the fruit in her mouth was not swallowed well, and she The money stuck in my throat made me cough.

Seeing this, Lin Rongshen put down the fruit knife in his hand, patted my back with his hand, and said with reproach in his eyes, "Why are you in such a hurry to eat something?"

I choked until tears came out, and after a long time, I calmed down slowly, and retorted him: "Obviously you cut the fruit too much."

Lin Rongshen said: "Looks like I should chew it up and feed it to you to be considerate of my service."

I still want to refute something, Lin Rongshen patted my back, and asked in a cool tone: "Is it better?"

I nodded and he brought me a glass of water to drink.

Sister Tan leaned against the door frame and still did not move, she still folded her arms and said, "It seems that I don't need to go in, you two are so sweet, it's better for me, an old man, to be less stimulated."

When Sister Tan turned around to leave, she turned around and found a person standing behind her at an unknown time. I anxiously called out to her from behind, and she smiled and stopped, turned around and said to me: "Okay, Now that you are here, let you stimulate me, anyway, at such an age, I have seen all the ups and downs, and this little wind and waves are nothing to me."

He walked towards the room with a smile, Lin Rongshen saw that I seemed to have something to say to Sister Tan, but he didn't stay in the room for long, because his phone rang, so he went outside to answer the phone.

When only Sister Tan and I were left in the room, Sister Tan asked me how I planned to deal with this matter now.

In fact, until now I have no idea.

Sister Tan said with a smile: "Don't worry about it, Xia Lailai, I think the two of you are a good match. Now that you have children, don't make any fuss about it. Let's live together well. If there are some difficulties, you don't try. Overcome, those difficulties will always be there, why not give yourself a chance and hope? Maybe those things you worry about are not as difficult to break through as you imagined?"

I was a little surprised and said: "Sister Tan, you used to disapprove of my marriage, why are you here to persuade me to get married now?"

Sister Tan said: "Do you think I'm really discriminating against marriage? Actually, it's not. From the first time you met Zhan Dong and brought me to meet, I thought you two were not suitable, because whether it's values, or both parties Family background, there is a rush."

Sister Tan took a look at me and said: "And at that time, I could tell at a glance that you didn't love Zhan Dong, so I didn't understand why you got married if you didn't love Zhan Dong. Bazi, the marriage between the two of you is likely to be yellow, and I guessed it right, you two got divorced in only five years, this result is not surprising at all."

Sister Tan stopped listening, and said: "But the situation is different now. Although Sister Tan has never been married, she still understands the relationship between men and women, and it's not like she hasn't been in love before, so you and Lin Rongshen look at each other. From the look in each other's eyes, I can still tell clearly whether they like each other or hate each other."

Sister Tan patted me on the shoulder and said: "Lai Lai, it's not easy to meet someone you like in your life who also happens to like you. You are really lucky. Do you know how many people you will never meet in your life? In the end, they were getting older, and the pressure from their parents and their age forced them to stop waiting. In their busy age, they chose an emotionless marriage partner and lived their lives with it. Do you find this kind of marriage interesting? Isn’t the marriage between you and Zhan Dong the kind I just mentioned? There is no emotional basis, both parties are just making do, the result and feelings are naturally conceivable. "

I looked at Sister Tan's wrinkled face and asked, "Has Sister Tan ever done it?"

Sister Tan was stunned for a moment, and asked, "What happened?"

I said, "Have you ever liked someone?"

I don't know where I stepped on Sister Tan's words. Her usual rich facial expression was a little stiff at this moment. I saw with my own eyes a trace of sadness flashed in her eyes, and the sadness disappeared quickly. Then Sister Tan smiled and said, "Why haven't I, and I still love him deeply."

I said, "Then why aren't you together?"

Sister Tan asked me back: "Why?"

I nodded and said, "Yeah, since the love is so deep, why are you not together? Does the other party not like you?"

Sister Tan said with a bitter smile at the corner of her mouth, "We both love each other deeply, but it's a pity that God just doesn't give us time in this life."

I still didn't understand, Sister Tan looked at me seriously and said, "He died when he was 23 years old."

My heart suddenly tightened.

Sister Tan looked at the pot of sunflowers blooming brilliantly on the window sill and said: "He has been in poor health since he was a child, you know? Sometimes his strength is weaker than a woman like me, but I don't know why, for a woman who is stronger than me A man whose body is still weak, but I love him so deeply that he has not been with me in this world for long, and after he retreated and left, I am still willing to wait for him as I am, because I believe that one day, we will We will meet again, though that possibility may be after my death."

I said, "So you never marry for the sake of him?"

Sister Tan looked away from the pot of flowers, looked at me and said with a smile: "It should be, but maybe not, because apart from him, I have never met a man in my life who can make my heart beat. Such a man exists, I think, now I should be like you, having a child of my own."

She looked at me with envy.

I said, "Are you going to live like this for the rest of your life?"

Sister Tan asked me: "Why not?" Sister Tan said with a smile: "If I can't meet someone who makes my heart beat, then I would rather live like this. When you get there, you won’t let another care worry about you, and you will be free, won’t you?”

I said, "Aren't you afraid of being lonely?"

She said: "Of course I am afraid, but I am even more afraid of torturing each other for the rest of my life with a person who has no feelings."

What else do I want to say, Sister Tan has gently held my hand, and she said seriously: "Lai Lai, there are many things in this world that are unpredictable, just like a person who knows today but does not know tomorrow, don't Leave regrets for yourself, even if you fail? It’s better than people like us who don’t even have the chance to fail, right? God is so kind to you, why do you want to throw away the opportunities you have? Good luck Not all the time, if you grit your teeth, close your eyes and rush forward, maybe you will pass this level? Nothing is impossible in this world, so don’t be so pessimistic.”

I said, "Is it really possible?"

Sister Tan held my hand tightly, as if giving herself hope with that strength, she said, "Yes, if I have the chance, I will definitely do it."

Although I felt that her strength made my hand hurt a little, I didn't struggle, but let her hold it, and I said: "Sister Tan, we will all have hope, and the person you are waiting for will definitely come. It's just a matter of time."

When Sister Tan heard my words, she gradually loosened her grip on my hand, and the smile on the corner of her mouth also relaxed a lot. She said, "Yes, I will."

I didn't expect Sister Tan, who has always been invulnerable to a strong woman, to have such an untouchable past behind her. Boiled now?
If one day Lin Rongshen and I also...

Thinking of such a situation, I feel chills down my spine. I can accept that he is no longer by my side, but I cannot accept that he is no longer in this world.

After Sister Tan left, my heart was inexplicably heavy and sad. I don't know if it was because of her or because of something, and I became emotionally sad for no reason.

After Lin Rongshen returned to the ward, he saw that I was lying on the bed listlessly, so he walked towards me, put his mobile phone on the bedside table, looked at me and asked, "What's wrong."

I didn't answer him, still lying there, just shook my head with him and told him that I was fine.

But Lin Rongshen could tell that my expression didn't look like a normal person at all, he leaned down and picked me up from the bed, hugged me in his arms, stroked my forehead and asked in a low voice: "Is there something wrong? "

This time I didn't push him away, but shook my head in his arms, buried my face deeper into his chest, and didn't speak. Lin Rongshen still felt that something was wrong with me, so he pinched my chin and pulled my face away from him. He lifted it out of his arms, his voice was so pleasant, he frowned and asked, "What happened, can you tell me?"

The second I met his eyes, I still felt as if I could not breathe under a stone. I moved my lips and said in a hoarse voice, "What do you think of death?"

When Lin Rongshen heard me ask such a question, he raised his eyebrows and said in silence for a few seconds: "For a doctor, death is a very common and unavoidable thing, everyone will have this When the day comes, although modern medicine is advanced, there is still no way to fight against the god of death, and we can only let those patients not jump in the queue, and wait in line for that day in a safe, orderly and dignified way."

I said, "What if one day I have to face that day? What would you do?"

His first reaction was to frown, and instead of answering, he asked, "What's wrong?"

I grabbed his hand and said stubbornly, "I want you to answer me now."

Lin Rongshen said: "I never thought about this possibility."

I said, "What if it's really possible?"

Lin Rongshen knew that if he didn't answer my question today, I wouldn't feel at ease for a day. He thought for a while and said, "I will use up all I have learned all my life to save you. If it still cannot be saved, I will let you suffer the least amount of pain." Leave safely, because in the face of death, this is the only thing I can do for you."

I said, "If I leave, will you miss me? Or will you miss me for the rest of your life?"

Lin Rongshen covered my mouth and said: "Okay, don't think about it anymore, your body is very healthy now, and you may not have any problems at the age of 60. This kind of assumption is almost impossible, so lie down peacefully."

I took his hand away from my mouth and said stubbornly: "I want you to answer me now, you must answer me."

Lin Rongshen saw that I looked like I wanted to know the answer, and I was somewhat defeated, so he could only sigh helplessly and said: "Yes, I will miss you all my life, even when I work, eat and sleep in a daze, I will miss you. This is a very important thing." Sorrow is a very helpless thing, I will be very sad, I will even lose hope in life, I will be depressed, I will give up on myself, I will try my best to find you wherever you may go, until I find you, I will not stop Sadness is not sad, only when you are by my side, I feel that life is full of hope."

He hugged me tightly in his arms, resting his chin on the top of his head, his eyes fell on the light and shadow on the ground, and said in a flat tone: "So, take good care of yourself, listen to me, and take care of your body obediently. If you are sick, tell me Me, don't hide it from me, this is a very cruel thing, don't torture me in this way, okay? You can't even think about it, you know?"

Hearing Lin Rongshen's words, I suddenly felt sore eyes, yes, death is really a sad and helpless thing, life is only a few decades, everyone knows what will happen to me tomorrow, why put my hope Throw it away, but leave infinite regrets for your future self?

Even if the final result is not what I want, but I have worked hard, even if we are not together, I can no longer blame the original self for not persevering.

People are like this, they will always miss what they have never got, and they will give up once they get it.

Lin Rongshen who hugged me felt warm liquid dripping from the back of his hand. He looked down and found that my face was full of tears. He was a little scared by my abnormal behavior, so he wiped it gently with his hand. I asked softly, "Why are you crying? What happened? Don't scare me?"

I hugged his hand wiping my tears, shook my head with tears all over my face and said, "No, it's just because I heard a very sad story just now, that's why it happened."

When Lin Rongshen heard my answer, he laughed and said, "Since it's just a story, why are you still crying like this? Changing emotions is not a good mother."

I held Lin Rongshen's hand tightly and said, "Rongshen."

He looked at me: "Huh?"

I raised my face and looked at him and said, "Rong Shen, it would be great if you met him earlier, maybe if you meet him, he won't die, and she doesn't have to wait hopelessly."

Although Lin Rongshen didn't know who I was talking about, he didn't ask too much, but said softly: "Doctors are not omnipotent. In fact, everyone has their own fortune. saved him."

I said, "You are so powerful, you can do it."

Seeing my eager look, Lin Rongshen said with a slight smile on the corner of his mouth, "Well, maybe... yes."

After hearing his answer, I felt relieved, my tense body relaxed, and I felt a little tired, so I whispered, "Rong Shen, hug me to sleep."

He patted my head and said, "Yeah."

After he hugged me and lay down, I burrowed into his arms and hugged him tightly with both hands. At this moment, I was so afraid of losing him. Many things seemed insignificant compared to death. I thought , Maybe we can try it out, just like Sister Tan said, maybe we can break through the past?

After all, things in this world are hard to predict.

Lin Rongshen felt my anxiety, and he whispered in my ear: "Lai Lai." I raised my face from his arms to look at him, and he also looked at me, just as I was thinking why he called my name When he didn't speak again, his kiss fell.

I just closed my eyes and leaned on his arm to feel his kiss. It was very strange. In a moment, my heart suddenly settled down. I was no longer so panicked or anxious, as if my whole body had been washed away by the spring breeze. generally.

Just responding to him bit by bit with his movements, clinging to him, and slowly entering the world of two people.

This kiss lasted for a long time. After Lin Rongshen felt the throbbing in my body, he immediately left my lips, held my face and shook his head and said, "No."

(End of this chapter)