The years I was a birdman

Chapter 183
You must have had belief. The so-called belief is a very vague thing, but it is indeed the motivation for many people to continue walking in the world. But if one day, you suddenly find that your motivation does not exist, will you be at a loss? , where will I go?
No one spoke. At this time, the evil spirit in the air had disappeared, the air became extremely humid, and the temperature returned to normal. It was sultry and airtight. A little bit of rain fell, falling on Zhang Shifei's hair and body, making crackling noises. The sound of patter, although there are many injustices in this world, there are also many fairnesses, including air, rain, and sunshine.

Although people are divided into different classes, horses are divided into legs, skinny hair and long hair, but no matter they are rich or poor, they can breathe the same air, feel the same rain, and bathe in the same sunshine. Maybe this is the fairness of God. Bar.

But what happens when this fairness no longer exists?How will we explain the tragedy of that scene, and how will we let go of the long-suppressed anger in our hearts?will we be sadWill sadness seem too small at this time?shall we shed tearsWill tears still exist at this time?
Zhang Shifei sighed, and wanted to take a cigarette out of his pocket to take a puff, but found that he was unwilling to do so, and everyone was silent, as if they were concerned about what happened to the blue-clothed female ghost in front of them. Like a moment of silence.

Although in front of this sister, the word "silent mourning" is somewhat ironic, but it is true. Just imagine, we can enjoy the most ordinary things, but we can't get it, we can't get air, we can't get rain, we can't get sunshine, we can't get it. What was there was just an emotion that had supported her for decades until her death, but it collapsed in an instant. Where will it go in the future?
The female ghost in blue knelt there quietly, her body trembling slightly. It had regained consciousness now, but Zhang Shifei didn't know whether regaining consciousness would be good or bad for it.

The rain passed through its body and hit the ground, unable to cover up its choked-up sobs. Mr. Cui couldn't help but stepped forward and said to it: "It's all over..."

That's right, it's all in the past. For the blue-clothed female ghost, everything is in the past. There is no hatred, no love, no anger, and even neither the past nor the future.

Really nothing, Zhang Shifei smiled wryly, he finally understood the meaning of this word at this moment, the female ghost in blue bit her lip tightly, just kept saying: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

It seems that it is repenting for the disaster it caused when it ran away just now. Maybe only in this way can she find some meaning of existence. Mr. Cui persuaded it some words later, but the female ghost in blue never listened to it. Now, it's been dead for too long, lost everything, even its own name has been forgotten, but what has not been forgotten is still the attachment. Zhang Shifei feels the same in his heart, and at this time, he doesn't know where it came from. Courage, I saw him say to the female ghost in blue: "Sister, don't do this, no matter how sad you are, Dong Sizhe will never come back, it has disappeared."

"Disappeared..." Hearing these words, the female ghost in blue froze for a moment, then turned around tremblingly and looked at the crowd, her white face was full of sadness, and she suddenly shouted: "Then I What is it...!"

Everyone was speechless, even Mr. Cui, who can usually tell the living from the dead, was silent. The female ghost in blue knelt on the ground and covered her face with her hands, seemingly in great pain. Seeing her choked up, she said: "Who can tell me... why I have waited for so many years, and whether my waiting is a joke at all..."

We can live without everything, but we cannot live without attachments. The question of the female ghost in blue is really difficult to answer, or in other words, there is no answer to this question.

Everyone didn't know what to say, but at this moment, Zhang Shifei suddenly thought of something in his heart. In the story of the female ghost in blue, he was just a bystander or a witness. As confused as everyone else, on the contrary, those wild thoughts in the weekdays gradually became clear in his mind at this moment. He seemed to understand something, so he mustered up his courage and squatted on the ground, and said softly to the female ghost in blue: "No! , how could your waiting be a joke?"

The female ghost in blue looked at Zhang Shifei, and everyone was also very surprised, especially Li Lanying. He wondered why Lao Zhang talked so much tonight?Could it be that he was beaten in the head by the evil spirit of the blue-clothed female ghost just now?
Zhang Shifei smiled wryly, but did not pause, and continued, "Sister, haven't you already waited for the result?"

"Result?" The female ghost in blue was stunned for a moment, then said tremblingly to Zhang Shifei: "What is my result? Is this my result?"

Zhang Shifei actually nodded, and then said: "Sister, don't you understand? What you are waiting for may be just your own attachment. You don't love Dong Sizhe at all. This is something you already understand. Why is it still so painful now?"

Indeed, not long ago, when the female ghost in blue was chatting with Zhang Shifei, it had thought about it this way, but it reflected the old saying that never fails. When it comes to yourself, you will still be confused.

The female ghost in blue trembled and said, "But..."

Zhang Shifei shook his head, interrupted her, and then said softly: "There is nothing to worry about, sister, you are too tired, and to a certain extent, you also waited until his death, you have already got what you want There is no such thing as perfection in this world... I know it's a bit ironic for me to say this, but you should know more about fate than I do, but why, you still can't let it go? You paid for him Too much work, too tired, it's time to rest."

Zhang Shifei's remark was completely from the heart, and there was no falsehood. To be honest, he felt worthless for the blue-clothed female ghost. Why did she have to bear all this?Why?Is it just for a piece of shit that isn't worth the wait?
You are too tired, you should rest, you are too tired, you should rest, after hearing what Zhang Shifei said, the female ghost in blue was stunned, her expression froze, even the trembling stopped, after about a dozen In a few seconds or so, it slowly closed its eyes, and a tear fell from the right eye. The tear was surprisingly crystal clear, and fell to the ground, slowly forming a bead-like thing, which fell on the ground at night. Glittering like jewels.

The female ghost in blue burst into tears, her voice was hoarse and desolate, echoing under the dark clouded sky for a long time, it was really howling ghosts, but the crying did not bring People are afraid, but it gives the few people present a feeling of extreme sadness. This feeling is better than the sense of despair given by the evil spirit just now, because it directly appears in people's hearts, and it really smells Those who were sad were crying, even a cold-blooded animal like Li Lanying had a very sad expression, and Liu Yudi, who was on the side, couldn't help but cry with the blue ghost, her eyes turned red.

The female ghost in blue only shed one tear, and the rest can be counted as howling. Crying without tears is, to some extent, even more heartbreaking. After all, tears are, to some extent, It can be regarded as a self-protection measure for people. When the damage encountered reaches its peak, tears are an instinctive means of venting.

But that's just for people.

The female ghost in blue was crying sadly, and it didn't stop for a long time. Ye Yu didn't leave any marks on her body, which was a proof that she no longer belonged to this world, even though the rain was caused by the formation just now. The side effect of Tianlei, but Zhang Shifei is more willing to believe that this is God's tears, and this is the last back room that God bestowed on this poor man who should not have existed long ago.

The rain was still falling, pattering, and it didn't stop for a long time. On the contrary, it was even bigger. In the rain, everyone's clothes were already soaked by the rain, but they didn't have the idea of ​​leaving, and there was no trace of coldness in their hearts. The ghost in clothes was crying and trembling, so they surrounded it in unison, as if they wanted to shelter it from the wind and cold, although they all knew that ghosts can't feel cold, because ghosts themselves are cold.

In this way, as time passed, the crying of the female ghost in blue gradually became quieter, and along with the rain that should not have appeared, it quietly disappeared, the sky and clouds dispersed, and a round was about to be completed The bright moon appeared, and the faint moonlight shone down, making the community without lights pale white.

It is about to be consummated, but it is not consummated. Zhang Shifei smiled wryly at this moment. He turned his head and looked at the crowd, and found that Mr. Cui was also smiling wryly at this time. The expression on that side of his face seemed very unnatural. Zhang Shifei felt more and more This is destiny. In this world, everyone's destiny is different, but there is one thing in common, that is, everyone's destiny is not so perfect.

Zhang Shifei suddenly felt that all of this is actually predestined, including the four or two catastrophes, including the five disadvantages and three deficiencies, which are the epitome of the fate of this world. In fact, everyone is the same, but the roles assigned to them by fate Different, the more things you get, the more precious things you lose.

This may be the way of heaven, the female ghost that shouldn't exist, the crying that shouldn't exist, the night rain that shouldn't exist, this story that shouldn't have happened, but it's all under the waning moon that can't be changed. Real existence, unforgettable.

The moonlight reflected on the female ghost. Ghosts and monsters should live under the moonlight. The moonlight is what they worship, just like us living people worship the sun. The female ghost in blue finally stopped crying and fell into a In the silence, the moonlight also sprinkled on Zhang Shifei's body. It was a half-demon body at this time, and it could also absorb the brilliance of the moon. For a while, he felt very warm. This kind of warmth was not as fierce as the sun, but incomparably It’s as if the relatives only saw the warm embrace, or like a lover in love whispering in your ear, I hope the moonlight can also bring it strength and warmth, Zhang Shifei prayed very sincerely in his heart , although there is no sun in your world, the moon is always there.

After a while, the female ghost in blue seemed to have really calmed down. She stood up, nodded to the crowd around her and said, "Thank you..."

It turns out that ghosts also cry and swell their eyes. Zhang Shifei looked at it. At this time, its right eye was very red and swollen, but there was a faint smile on its face. Although this smile seemed very weak, Mr. Cui Seeing it say that, he smiled wryly, and said, "Don't thank us, I'm sorry for involving you in this kind of incident."

The female ghost in blue shook her head, and then said lightly: "It's not important anymore, just like what Xiao Zhang said just now, I have only lived for one attachment in my life, now let go of the attachment, nothing is important anymore, He Ai Why bother, it's all over, I'm too tired, it's time to rest."

Hearing what it said, Mr. Cui couldn't help showing a very admiring expression on one side of his face. He showed a thumbs up to the yellow-clothed female ghost, and then said: "You really understand that if you think so, the next step If you have any plans, based on your current thinking, it is not impossible to find a job in Fengdu, maybe for you, getting rid of the pain of the six realms of comfortable reincarnation is the best choice."

The female ghost in blue smiled wryly, and then said to Mr. Cui, "Let's talk about it when the time comes, I don't have that plan yet, right..."

It paused for a moment, then turned its head and smiled at Zhang Shifei, and said, "Xiao Zhang, thank you very much."

Although Zhang Shifei is usually skinny and shameless, he can stand scolding but not boastful. Seeing the female ghost in blue say thank you to him, I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. I saw him scratching his still wet hair, and then He laughed a bit too, and said to the female ghost in blue: "Thank you for what, didn't you thank me just now?"

The female ghost in blue shook her head, and then said to Zhang Shifei: "No, I must thank you, thank you, if it wasn't for you just now, I'm afraid I still can't comprehend some things I'm thinking now, it was you who made me I'm relieved, thank you."

"Sister, he should be embarrassed when you say that." Seeing that the incident had come to an end and the atmosphere had returned to its usual state, Li Lanying pointed at Zhang Shifei with the female ghost in blue. Li Lanying said jokingly, "Look, my face is red."

"Go away." Zhang Shifei scolded, he was really a little embarrassed, when everyone saw that Zhang Shifei was so unflattering, they all smiled.

The female ghost in blue said to Zhang Shifei: "Xiao Zhang, stick to what you think now. In fact, you are really talented. Qin Aide should have discovered this."

After finishing speaking, the blue-clothed female ghost looked at Mr. Cui. The "dear" should refer to this Mr. Cui, but she didn't understand why the blue-clothed female ghost called him that. It was probably between the two of them. Liu Yudi looked at Mr. Cui in surprise, and Mr. Cui hurriedly pretended to catch a cold and coughed a few times to cover up the embarrassment.

I saw the female ghost in blue then said to the right and wrong: "By the way, the monster today is what you usually call the egg monster."

Mr. Cui nodded, and the female ghost in blue said again: "You have helped me for so many years, and I can't repay you. I heard you say that if they all disappear, then you can get rid of the curse? I just felt My strength seems to have recovered a bit, otherwise, wait for two days, and I will help you kill them all."

Saying this sentence, everyone's heart skipped a beat, especially Zhang Shifei. He looked at the blue-clothed female ghost in front of him, and thought to himself, big sister, you don't need to say it so lightly!Why is it that when you say this, it gives people a kind of egg-killing demon, just like killing chickens and toads?
But after thinking about it, what is the identity of this sister now?That is the ghost king of the extremely cathode evil, even the thunder of the sky can't kill it, and the color of the clothes has not changed back now, it is still blue, it does have this strength, thinking about how it looked when it killed Xiaojiu just now, Zhang Shifei couldn't help but A little ashamed, if it is allowed to destroy those egg monsters, it seems that it is not impossible.

This is indeed very exciting, but for some reason, Zhang Shifei didn't speak, not even Fatty Li, who was afraid of trouble, didn't say anything at this time. Mr. Cui smiled bitterly, and then said to the female ghost in blue : "I don't think this matter is necessary, and they probably don't want your help."

After finishing speaking, Mr. Cui pointed to his two "unsuitable" apprentices. Zhang Shifei and Li Lanying looked at each other at this time. Their expressions were not the same, but their thoughts were similar. Shi Fei smiled wryly, and then said: "Yes, no need, you'd better go to Yinshi quickly."

"Why?" The blue-clothed female ghost was a little puzzled, but in an instant, it suddenly figured it out, and couldn't help but smiled knowingly.

Seeing that it understood, Mr. Cui smiled and said to it: "That's right, that's their fate, not yours, and you..."

"I also have my destiny." Said the female ghost in blue.

Indeed, Zhang Shifei really wanted to ask this sister for help just now, but he didn't do it because after going through this series of events, he understood a series of truths, and he deeply understood that the matter of the egg demon is actually not So simple, to a certain extent, this is a kind of test, just like when Brother Yu went to Tianzhu to ask for a study report on Buddhism, he had to go through hardships, everyone has his own destiny, and his own You have to walk the road by yourself, not everything can be cheated, because any of us can cheat, but the only one who can't cheat is ourselves.

Ever since they entered the industry and came into contact with egg demons, the two of them really began to learn humbly, and the rapid increase in experience made them understand a lot of truths. Since God showed them a way to go, why did they let others take their place?And besides, is the road that others have walked, is it considered that you have walked by yourself?
Fate, there is no shortcut, even if the female ghost in blue really kills the egg demon, but the fate that has been set long ago will definitely play tricks on the two of them again.

Seeing the two of them like this, Mr. Cui smiled appreciatively for the second time tonight, but this time he didn't speak, but turned his head and smiled at Liu Yudi and his old buddy Yi Xinxing. They were very comforted in their hearts.

The yellow-clothed female ghost was completely enlightened at this time, and naturally she would not say such words again. At this moment, it was taken aback for a moment, then looked to the west thoughtfully, then turned its head and pointed at the ground lightly. , my own tear floated into the air, and it floated into Mr. Cui's hand. It said to Mr. Cui: "Then I won't say anything. This tear is my second gift to you. .”

Mr. Cui grabbed the tear that looked like a pearl, held it in his hand and looked at it carefully, for some reason, when Liu Yudi, Yi Xinxing, Mr. Cui and the three of them saw this tear, a kind of expression appeared on their faces. With an indescribable expression, it seemed to be emotional, and even more sentimental. Mr. Cui grabbed the tear and murmured: "I really don't know, this thing reappeared, and it was in my hands again. Is it good for the common people?" Still bad."

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(End of this chapter)