Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 13 You should be gentle and powerful (2)
When they live happily under the wings of a man, and think that this kind of happiness can last forever, they will quietly find that the man has changed, and he is no longer the person who vowed to give himself a lifetime of happiness. It's no longer the person who would miss him every minute he left... They devote more time to their work and spend more energy on things other than family.Women don't understand men, because they were not born for a certain woman, nor just for their family. He needs a wider living space and more free air to breathe.Therefore, sometimes, the woman in the family who has been completely conquered by him will gradually lose her original charm. Even if they will not give up easily, it is inevitable that there will be side effects, which will make the women worry and fear.

Jingyi was very surprised when she received her call. Since she got married, she has basically stopped contacting her former sisters. Jingyi and others have asked her to come out to the party many times, but she shirks them with various excuses. Gradually, Jingyi and the others stopped contacting her.Three or four years passed in a flash, and she did not expect a call from her who hadn't contacted her for a long time.

Jingyi called several good sisters together to welcome her return.Not seeing each other for many years, the sisters are no longer young, but they have also added a bit of mature charm.But her change surprised the sisters.Among the many sisters, she used to be the most beautiful one, but looking at her now, she looks much older than her actual age.The sisters hurriedly asked her how she became like this, and she cried to the sisters about what happened to her in the past few years.

She and her husband are alumni, and he is two years older than her.Before graduation, he began to pursue her, but she was unmoved, because when she was in college, she made up her mind that she would not fall in love in school and put her studies first.Although she is a girl, her dream is big. She hopes that she can achieve something in her career in the future.He respected her wishes and waited for her for three years.In these three years, she is still studying at the university, and he has been working for two years and has achieved good results at work.

After she graduated, he pursued her again.She didn't like him very much at first, but she couldn't help his stalking, and couldn't escape the various romantic situations he created for her. In the end, she was moved.Soon, it was time for the two to talk about marriage.At that time, he had become a middle-level leader of the company where he was working, and his income was quite good.He hoped that she could leave the workplace and be a full-time wife comfortably.At first she disagreed, because she was also very ambitious, but she couldn't help his soft words to comfort her. Women in love have no IQ, so she chose to become the happy little woman he described.

After getting married, he doted on her very much, which made her feel great happiness, and she felt that her choice was right.A year later, they had a beautiful daughter, and she felt even greater happiness.However, with the birth of the child, her previously comfortable life was completely disrupted. In order to take care of the child, she no longer had time to groom and dress up, and she no longer had time to accompany him to various parties. placed on the child.Gradually, she found that he had changed, the original sweet talk became sarcastic, the original gentle and considerate became relatively silent.She felt very wronged. She had paid so much for him, for the child, and for the family, but in the end she was treated like this by him.So she started arguing with him, reasoning with him, trying to win back his heart, but her crying got him to treat him more indifferently.

Gradually she was also tired, let it be, so she put all her thoughts on her daughter.But what she didn't expect was that she couldn't make decisions about her daughter.In the process of taking care of and educating his daughter, he would often point fingers at her words and deeds, saying that she had no brains, and that she did not know how to educate children. She reasoned with him, but he said: What does a housewife know?She completely collapsed, and from then on, the two began to quarrel constantly, followed by a cold war.

Soon after, her cousin was getting married and she was invited to the wedding.It's been a long time since I bought new clothes, so she wanted to go shopping and buy a dress, but when she asked him for money, he said mockingly: "Your figure now, you can still wear those beautiful clothes Is it? Let’s save it and just find one in the closet.”

She suddenly realized that the reason why she had been subject to him for so many years was that she couldn't be independent.Can't go on like this anymore, she made an important decision to re-enter the workplace.The sisters were very supportive and began to advise her.However, it is easy to make a decision, but much more difficult to actually act on it.She has been away from the workplace for many years, and has almost zero experience and ability, so she has encountered setbacks again and again in the workplace.Faced with these, she could only sigh deeply, regretting her mistakes.

A woman who loses herself in marriage will not be happy, so women should remember that even if you have given yourself to a man and a family, don't lose yourself completely, have your own job, have your own social circle , which are essential to your complete life.As long as you have your own job and your own friends, you will have a foothold in this society. Even if a man no longer treats you as before, you will not feel isolated, and you will not feel that life is no longer hopeful.An independent woman is always the strongest among women.

In fact, compared with women who lose themselves in marriage, there is another kind of woman who is in a more miserable situation, that is, losing her marriage.Divorce, for men, more often means walking out of the grave, getting relief, and a new life is likely to be opened soon; but for women, divorce is likely to mean broken arms and broken waists, and broken bones. .At this time, as a woman, what will you do?What should you do?Should he cry about his misfortune like Mrs. Xianglin, or would he fight to the death with him?In fact, there is no need, the more you have to be strong at this time, if you have children, then you must be strong for your children, if you do not have children, you must also be strong for yourself.Find a reason to stand up again, regain joy and happiness, and then move towards this goal without hesitation. At this time, you can live a more wonderful self.

Her husband had an affair, but she couldn't let go of her ten-year relationship, and she didn't want her son to have a father. She made every effort to win back her husband's heart.Xiao San said that he had a child and forced him to make a choice.In the end, he chose a young and beautiful lover.Looking at his young son, he couldn't bear it, so the topic of divorce was put aside for the time being, but he moved out of the house.

Seeing her husband leave, she was very sad and lost confidence in life.The son was very sensible, hugged her and said: "Mom, don't be afraid, I will still be with you when Dad is gone. I am already a man and can protect you." Her son's words made her burst into tears.Yes, I must not just fall down like this, for the sake of my son, I have to live better.

Back then, after giving birth to her son, she gave up her job. Now for her son, she decided to work again.She was originally a well-known Shaoxing opera actress. Although she is over 30 years old, she has always maintained a good voice, so she soon contacted the previous theater troupe, stepped on the stage again, and gradually gained the recognition of the audience. .

Half a year later, the husband who ran away from home came back.Because the lover was not pregnant at all, and after getting along for a period of time, the two found that it was not suitable at all, so they broke up.He wanted to come back and start anew with her, and she was willing to forgive him—because of her son, and because she had no more love for him.

She thought that her husband had learned a lesson and would live a peaceful life in the future.Unexpectedly, half a year later, he repeated the same mistakes and got in touch with his former lover again.He filed for divorce again, and firmly.That day coincided with the premiere of a new drama she was rehearsing, and she was doing makeup in the dressing room.He came to her and put the divorce agreement in front of her.Her heart tightened, but her face remained calm, and she just said lightly: "Leave if you want, I won't stop you anymore, and signed the divorce agreement." Then she started to put on makeup again , and more carefully than ever before.

It was her turn to take the stage, her steps were light, her face was smiling, her voice was as calm as ever, her singing was more beautiful than ever, and the whole performance reached its climax because of her outstanding performance.Backstage after the performance, other colleagues in the troupe gave her a sympathetic look, and they all knew her story.

"You don't need to comfort me, and you don't need to sympathize with me. I don't feel sorry for myself, nor do I feel how miserable I am. During the time without him, haven't I already proved that even if I am really divorced, I can still live?" better."

Indeed, the failure of marriage does not mean the end of everything. After divorce, life can still be wonderful.There are many divorced women in this world, and there are many women who live a more exciting and successful life after divorce than before.It is undeniable that marriage is the basis of a woman's happiness, but it is not the whole of a woman's life.When marriage is in, cherish it well, and when marriage is gone, cherish yourself well.

There is a joke circulating on the Internet, saying that new women in the 21st century should have the following qualities: they can go to the hall, they can go to the kitchen, they can kill Trojan horses, they can climb over the fence, they can afford to drive a good car, they can afford a good house, and they can fight against mistresses. , beat hooligans.There should be one more thing to add here, you can afford a divorce and you can survive an injury.No matter what the situation, insist on being independent, never give up life, never give up the pursuit, everything has a chance to start again, whether it is love, marriage or happiness.

4. You do not understand me, I do not blame you
Everyone has a line of tears, the cold water they drank, and the hot tears that brewed.I put the most poignant grievances there.You don't understand me, I don't blame you.

Patience is a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, and it is inextricably linked with the muddled learning advocated by modern people.Although many psychologists often warn us that we should speak out the distress in our hearts, so that the soul can have a chance to be relieved, but more and more practices have proved that sometimes, patience and silence can also play a positive role, especially in the In the process of being a human being.

Of course, patience is not helpless, nor is it synonymous with weakness. The patience we are talking about here is a kind of wisdom, a mature attitude and a pursuit strategy.For women, patience is a manifestation of having a good psychological quality, because in this society, women have to bear more unfairness and grievances than men.So, sometimes, women can't be afraid of being wronged. "Grievance" may not necessarily be able to "seek perfection", but if you don't want to accept any grievances, then happiness and success will be out of your reach.

I don't know how many women in history chose to commit suicide because they couldn't bear the criticism and rumors, and couldn't accept the ridicule and contempt of others. Ruan Lingyu is undoubtedly the most representative one among them.At the age of 25, the most wonderful time in her life, she ended her life because of the words "human words are awesome", leaving the world with a sigh.

In 1926, 16-year-old Ruan Lingyu was introduced to the star film company and started her film art career.After joining Lianhua Film Company in 1930, she became famous in one fell swoop for starring in "Wild Grass and Idle Flowers", which established her position in the Chinese film industry ever since.Later, she starred in films such as "The Goddess" and "New Women" one after another, and then became one of the most box-office appealing actors in the silent film era in China.

Ruan Lingyu has made a total of 29 films in nine years of filming. She has played a variety of roles, from female students, female workers, rural girls, prostitutes, to nuns, beggars, there are decent roles and villains, but the endings of the films are mostly tragic. end.Ruan Lingyu is very demanding on her performance, and this is also an important reason why she can be recognized by the audience.

However, success in her career did not bring happiness to Ruan Lingyu in life. She had relationships with Zhang Damin, Tang Jishan and Cai Chusheng successively, but the endings were not satisfactory.Later, he was caught in a dispute with Zhang Damin and Tang Jishan about defamation.Facing the slander and abuse of public opinion, Ruan Lingyu was exhausted but powerless.Finally, on March 1935, 3, he committed suicide by taking sleeping pills, and wrote the words "human words are awesome" in his suicide note.

In life and work, each of us will be ridiculed and despised by others, and it can be said that none of us is immune.In the face of criticism from others, if you cannot be calm and unbearable, you may make extreme choices on the spur of the moment, which will undoubtedly cause a huge obstacle to your life.In fact, since it is a rumor, don't take it to heart, one day the rumor will die with the wind, one day the truth will be revealed to the world, why should we take responsibility for other people's mistakes.Patience is a kind of sharpening, a manifestation of willpower, and the sum of material and psychological factors that confront people with the environment and things.But most of the time, patience is painful, because patience means suffering grievances or even humiliation. For women, it is sometimes difficult to bear these.However, as the saying goes, if you can endure what ordinary people can't bear, you can also achieve what ordinary people can't.So, if you can be patient, and be patient again, perhaps the growth and success in life will be waiting for you not far away.

In fact, as a woman, she is born with the instinct of tenacity. In the face of difficulties and obstacles, women will be more able to persevere to the end than men.For example, in the face of natural disasters and man-made disasters, women are often better than men in their ability to quickly wake up and face reality.According to relevant data, most of the last rescued in the earthquake were women, because women are more resilient.

Why do you say that to some extent women have more tough instincts than men?This may be determined by the role of women in history.In thousands of years of history, most of women's fate is to accept life's hard and soft bubbles, there is no explosion, only forbearance.The society's requirements for men are very rigid, so for the sake of the reputation of a manly man, they will not bear it, nor can they bear it.

Of course, today's women no longer need to continue to be oppressed, and they no longer need to continue to passively accept the hardships of life, but the tenacity in their bones has always been with them.Therefore, on the road to success, women may not be as fierce as men, they may not get off to a good start, or they may struggle every step of the way, but their tenacious personality will keep women from beginning to end, and they will never be discouraged. In the end, they will also reap success.

Fifteen years ago, she was just a little girl selling tea on the street, but today, 15 years later, she has become a well-known tea boss in the distance. Fifteen years ago, she was just 15 years old, and her family planted several acres of tea fields.She is the eldest daughter of the family, and she has a younger brother. Due to the average family background, she did not take the college entrance examination after graduating from high school in order to provide for her younger brother to go to school. She started selling tea for her parents at home.

(End of this chapter)