Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 12 You should be gentle and powerful (1)
My home is health and talent,
After all, a person can rely on, but is himself,

It is himself who can be proud of him,

Where do I want to go?I have found myself,
I am where I belong.

——Yishu

1. Think and act, experience will grow

Life goes on and on, life goes on day after day, and in the toughest of times, many people, like me, struggle in life.Moving forward in struggle and experiencing vicissitudes, you have more strength.

Mature women are always full of charm, and they tend to be more successful in life and work.However, not all women understand the true connotation of maturity, the standard to measure a woman's maturity, decent appearance is only one aspect, and the more important thing is mental maturity.

When it comes to the maturity of the mind, many people may think of the word scheming, because the maturity of the mind often requires a process, just like flowers need to go through wind and rain before they bloom, and crops need to go through spring plowing before they can be harvested in autumn.Therefore, in the process of mental maturity, women will inevitably encounter some setbacks and storms in life, and only after experiencing them can they understand and realize.Such women are naturally scheming, but for women, scheming is not a derogatory term, because sometimes scheming is a manifestation of wisdom in dealing with the world.

In life, there are many smart women, but not all smart women are wise, because there are many women whose intelligence is only superficial.Most of them are too sharp, even a bit aggressive. They can't tolerate the slightest mistake of others in their eyes. Once they find out, they will point it out mercilessly in person, no matter whether the other party is their relatives, friends, colleagues or superiors.In most cases, in the face of such a woman, the man who is courting will be afraid, the colleagues who work together will stay away, and even the closest relatives around them are likely to misunderstand them.But wise women don't let their intelligence be too exposed, most of them understand the truth that great wisdom is like foolishness.

Therefore, truly mature women are somewhat scheming, and they are definitely proud princesses in their hearts, but in real life, they will become "handmaids" beside the princess at the right time, putting their intelligence and wisdom Hide it, because by doing so, they can get more joy and happiness.

In love, it is a manifestation of a woman's maturity to pretend to be stupid appropriately.Smart women are naturally very attractive to men, but sometimes, if a woman is too smart, it will make men feel burdened.For example, in a passionate relationship, men often say sweet words to women, such as "I love you all my life", "I will be your slave all my life" and so on.In fact, women also know that most of these words are exaggerated, but because they are in love, a mature woman will never care about these, but will enjoy the sweetness of this love.However, some women insist on pointing it out, because they can't get a grain of sand in their eyes: "There is no love that lasts forever in this world, don't use this to fool me." "Being my slave? It's like this now." , but after you get married, I should be your slave." Hearing such words, the men must be in a cold sweat, next time, will they dare to say such things to you?And when they want to express their love to you, what should they say?Because no matter what he says, you will see through him.Then in the end, they are likely to run away.

In marriage, giving each other some freedom and space is a sign of a woman's maturity.Although marriage and love are both based on feelings, they are actually two completely different relationships.When in love, a man may be attracted by a woman's appearance, figure or character, but after entering marriage, a woman will find that what a man prefers is to be understood and tolerated.Men are different from women. After entering marriage, women think more about keeping the house and living a good life, but men are naturally free. After getting married, facing the wife's "strict family supervision", they will start to miss bachelors When I have free time, I will occasionally go out to drink, drink and play cards with my buddies.Of course, they didn't have any other thoughts, but simply wanted to relive their free life in the past.Mature women should be very aware of this kind of thinking of men, so they will never interfere and stop it, because they know that when a man has had enough fun, he will naturally come back, and he will be very grateful for the freedom women give him, husband and wife The relationship between them will naturally become closer.But some women will not let this go, they will either follow the man step by step, or call after call to urge the man to go home, which makes the man lose face in front of his friends. Have a fight.Over time, both of them will be exhausted physically and mentally. It is a trivial matter if the relationship fades, and it may even end in divorce if it is serious.This is by no means alarmist talk. In real life, there are too many couples who get into trouble because of this kind of thing.

In interpersonal communication, facing friends of the same sex, showing weakness appropriately is a manifestation of a woman's maturity.Most women have several good friends, so among your friends, which kind of friend is more popular?Are you a friend who loves to show off and show off, or a friend who is reserved and steady?Faced with this question, all women must have the second answer.From this, you should be able to realize a truth that is popular with friends of the same sex, that is, when dating, you should be "stupid" and give up all the limelight to others, so that you can gain more friendships .Sanmao knows this very well. She once said something like this: "I like people to think of me as a fool. It's much more convenient to get along with people in this way." Of course, pretending to be stupid does not mean that you are really stupid Well, being stupid doesn't mean you're really stupid, it's just a way for you to gain friendship.If you don’t believe in this and always try to show off in front of friends of the same sex, then you may not be far from losing your friends.

In the workplace, subtly hiding one's strength is a sign of a woman's maturity.Generally speaking, if you want to win the favor of your boss at work, you must use your ability to speak, so that you have a chance to win in the workplace.But at the same time, you also need to know that in the workplace, apart from your boss, the people who spend the longest time with you are your colleagues, and those who are more closely connected with your work are also your colleagues. If you hide your ability, then you may cause unnecessary right and wrong and trouble to yourself because of the jealousy of others.Of course, this is not to make you appear worthless, but to teach you to be humble and cautious in front of your colleagues, and know how to listen and understand.Only in this way can you gain a wider base of the masses. If one day you have the opportunity to ascend to a high position, you will most likely get everyone's support.

Having said so much, I just want to let women understand that happiness is not entirely obtained by external ingenuity, and more often, happiness requires you to use some little scheming.A truly intelligent woman, even if she is born with a pair of piercing eyes and can gain insight into the world, will not pursue everything clearly.Because they understand the principle of retreat when you should retreat.Timely and appropriate "pretending to be stupid" is the way of life that can really make you happy.

2. I only want to be gentle with this world

Roughness is the way most ordinary people treat others in this world. We are treated roughly, and then we are treated roughly. It seems to have become a cycle. Most people have become numb and unaware.So, in a world where even the living cannot be treated with tenderness, let alone respect for the dead.

"First of all, I would like to thank XX, then I would like to thank XX, and finally I would like to thank XX, without them I would not be where I am today." Everyone must be familiar with this set of rhetoric. Above, it's pretty much a shared acknowledgment declaration for the winners.Most of the time, as spectators, we feel that this kind of expressed gratitude is a bit old-fashioned, even too contrived.In fact, in the journey of life, this seemingly old-fashioned rhetoric has great power, because it is an expression of gratitude, and gratitude is the truth that everyone must understand in the process of growing up.Learn to be grateful, you can get real growth.

Everyone understands the truth, but not everyone can do it completely, because the objects we need to be grateful for not only include those who have helped and cared for us, but also those who have hurt and deceived us. Even people and things that have created many troubles and difficulties in our lives.For this, many people, especially women, find it difficult to accept.For these women, those who have hurt themselves are hateful, and it is already cheap for them not to curse them, let alone thank them?However, if you think this way, it means that you are not mature enough to understand the meaning of life's suffering and setbacks to you.

She is a college student who has just graduated and just started working. She should be full of enthusiasm for work, but she is tired of work.It turned out that her boss was a very strict person, and he was very harsh on his subordinates, and he would catch even the slightest mistake.Because she has no work experience and she is a little careless at work, she is often taught by her boss for some mistakes.She hated her boss in her heart, but she didn't dare to show it, so every day's work was a kind of torture for her.

She told her cousin what was on her mind, but her cousin had a different view from her. She hoped that she could think about it from a different angle, and not regard her boss as an object of dislike, but as an object of gratitude.

"Thank you? He picks on me every day, picks on my faults, always makes me work overtime, and deducts my bonus. How can you ask me to thank him?" She was surprised by her cousin's proposal.

"Don't be in a hurry, listen to me, I don't want you to thank him to say 'thank you' in front of him, but to see his demanding of you as a way to help you improve. The boss is very strict, although It will make you feel that the work is very hard, but at the same time, his strictness will also make you discover your own shortcomings, so that you can correct and improve yourself in a targeted manner. In this sense, shouldn’t you thank him? Conversely Say, if your boss is a nice guy who never says no to you no matter what you do well or not, can your work ability be improved? Can you accumulate failure experience? You must know that failures and setbacks are essential for you to grow smoothly in the workplace, and without these, you will never be able to improve." Facing her cousin's persuasive persuasion, she seemed to gradually understand the truth.At this time, the cousin pointed to a picture frame on the wall and said to her: "Look at this." She stood up and walked to the picture frame, and found that it was a piece of framed letter paper with the following passage written on it : "Your hosting style is really unacceptable to me, it's too exaggerated and contrived, and you always grab your partner's words, making him act as your foil all night. Since the radio station decided to let you co-host this program, It means that you and your partner are equal, this is not a stage for you to perform alone, don't be a clown who likes to sing a one-man show." After reading this passage, she looked at her cousin with some surprise, and the cousin told her The origin of this letter.

Her cousin has been working in the radio station for five years, and is now a well-known host in the industry.However, when she first set foot on the job, her hosting style was not recognized by everyone. Some listeners often criticized her by calling and writing letters. This letter was written by a listener at that time.At the beginning, facing these criticisms, she was very sad and a little frustrated. She felt that the audience had wronged her, and she inevitably felt some resentment in her heart.However, gradually, she gradually discovered some shortcomings and deficiencies of herself from the opinions and suggestions of the audience, which she had never discovered before.So, she tried to make positive corrections, and gradually, the audience's opinions decreased and their praises increased.After this hard work, she understood a truth, that is, you should be more grateful to those who give you criticism and accusation, because in a sense, their criticism and accusation are yours. Forward momentum.

Her cousin's success at work is inseparable from her gratitude.As my cousin said to her, everything in life has two sides. For example, being appreciated by others is a kind of luck, but it is likely to make you feel proud, and you will never be able to make progress; Although your criticism will make you feel uncomfortable, this kind of criticism can sometimes become a ladder for your progress.

The attitude of gratitude towards others' harm and criticism shows a woman's wisdom and mind.In fact, gratitude is also a philosophy of life that women should learn. It can help you get up from where you fell, and go on confidently and firmly.However, in real life, many women do not know this truth.If they are not grateful in their hearts, they will become never satisfied and become a person who does not know how to cherish.Blaming others will become their habit, jealousy will turn into anger in their hearts, resentment will torture them all the time, and eventually, they will make themselves physically and mentally exhausted and miserable.How can such a woman talk about the happiness of life and the success of her career?

As a woman, if you can be grateful, then what you can gain will not only be peace of mind, but also the greatest reward in life.Because gratitude will make you tolerant, stop complaining, and stop worrying; gratitude will also allow you to learn to repay the object of your gratitude with a more positive attitude; gratitude will also allow you to have a grateful heart to be sincere To help others and sublimate yourself; gratitude can make you abandon those dark and selfish desires in your heart, and make your heart clear and clear.

A truly mature woman must be grateful. When she is lucky, she will thank the favor of fate. When she is unlucky, she will thank the tempering of fate.how about you?
3. In addition to love, you must have yourself
What makes many women unhappy is that they pin all their happiness on a man. He makes her laugh and he makes her cry. All emotions are related to him.Once this person lets go, their world will completely collapse.Don't blame the world for changing fast, it's just that your world is too narrow to accommodate love but not yourself.

Crying, making trouble, and hanging himself three times is a tactic many women use to deal with men.Once upon a time, these tactics were so effective that men could only surrender to them.However, after a long time, when this kind of tactic is used too much, there will no longer be an audience for this bitter drama written and directed by the woman herself.

In fact, the reason why women do this is mostly because they have lost themselves in life and become the appendages of men. If they lose the backing of men, they will not be able to survive alone.Many women, originally successful in their studies and proud in the workplace, were captured by men in the end, and only wished to be a bird under the wings of a man that would not be attacked by wind and rain.But they don't know that when they abandon their careers for men, they also lose themselves.

(End of this chapter)