Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 11 Thank you for those who left you (3)
She is a strong woman with a successful career. Although she is not stunning enough, she is also a bit pretty.It stands to reason that she should have reaped love and marriage long ago with her good looks and wealth, but she has always been single.Is it because no one pursues it?Of course not, there are many people who pursue her, but there are not many who are attractive to her. Even if she is interested, the relationship will not last long.Why is this?

It turned out that she is a loyal member of the Appearance Association, and there is only one standard for finding a boyfriend: he must be a handsome guy with excellent looks and figure. It doesn't matter if she has a car, a house, or a career, because her money has long been Enough to spend.Everyone has the desire for beauty, who doesn't want to find a lover who is seductive?So, this condition is actually not too much.

Although her requirements are very high, there are many handsome men in her life, so she soon found the love in her heart, little A.Little A fits her standards very well, with a height of 185, a weight of 150, and the face and aura of a Korean actor. She is very fond of him and never hesitates to spend money for him.Little A was originally a trainer in a fitness club. Under her creation and packaging, she has become a nobleman of the upper class.When she was still immersed in the sweetness of love, she found out that her boyfriend had cheated on her, fell in love with a young and beautiful female teacher, and made up her mind.She was hurt so much that she vowed not to believe in love anymore, especially the love of handsome men.

However, after a short time, she fell in love again. The new boyfriend Xiao B is not only handsome, but also a good singer, and intends to become an online singer.She was captured again, and spent a lot of money to invite songs and hit charts for her boyfriend.Half a year later, her boyfriend started to gain a little fame on the Internet, but she didn't have the opportunity to continue to taste the sweetness brought by this love, because her boyfriend fell in love with her assistant.She was very sad, and secretly made up her mind not to be poisoned by the handsome guy again.

However, her next few boyfriends are still the best among handsome guys, and her love is still a failure again and again, and the reason is surprisingly the same: when the handsome guys use her money to repackage themselves, they start Go find the freedom and happiness you want.To them, she is just a stepping stone, because in their view, her love is not pure, what she falls in love with is their appearance, not their person.It really has to make people sigh, these days, handsome guys are also very realistic.

She cried to her friends: "Why do they all betray me, am I not good enough for them?"

"It's not that you're treating them badly, you're being too nice to them. It's just that you're not making a boyfriend, but rather raising a son—feeding him, dressing him well, and dressing him up as a heartthrob, isn't it just for the sake of it?" Let him get a girlfriend?" The friend spoke mercilessly, but hit the nail on the head.

"Next time, I will never find a handsome guy again, I will find true love." She vowed.However, when a friend meets her next time, she will definitely be standing next to a handsome guy who can become a supermodel.

Everyone has habits, used to a certain way of life, used to a certain way of communicating with others, used to which kind of food to eat, and so on.The same is true for women in love, they are always attracted to the same type of people, and then fall in love with each other.But this habit sometimes hurts women very much, because if this kind of person brings them hurt, then continuing to fall in love with this kind of person means that they will suffer the same hurt over and over again.

It doesn't matter if you can realize it through this kind of injury, at least it can let women know that they should face up to their true feelings in their hearts and change their thoughts.But the most frightening thing is that no matter how much you suffer, you still can't wake up, then you may spend your whole life wandering in the same wrong love and pain.

A woman who repeats the same mistakes in a wrong love will always ask such a question: Why is my effort not rewarded?Why do I keep meeting the wrong people?In fact, they don't know that in this world, love is probably the thing that doesn't necessarily pay off even if you work hard until death.Therefore, when you lose love, don't ask why there is no return, give up when you should give up, and leave when you should leave, otherwise happiness will really be farther and farther away from you.Moreover, don't always complain about why you can't meet the right person every time. In fact, the root of the mistakes and pain lies in yourself.When love leaves, you are always busy erasing the person you left from your heart and life, but never face up to the real reason why the relationship ended, whether it was your fault or the other person’s fault, the wrong time or the way wrong?In fact, sometimes, not being able to find the right person is not because you are unlucky, but because you have not changed your wrong self.

5. Not being reconciled will only make you more painful
True forgiveness is not to delete memories, but to accept those who "used to" live safely in your memory.

Sometimes, in the face of lost feelings, women refuse to let go because they still have love in their hearts, and they still have reluctance to give up. They don't know how to live without this love, so they will struggle hard until the physical and mental Tired and dismal.But sometimes, there is another version of the story, and another version of the reality. Love has indeed disappeared, but they still refuse to let go, because they are not reconciled.

Four years in college and six years after graduation, she and her boyfriend A Fei have been in love for ten years. Among their former college classmates, they are the only remaining couple.Every classmate reunion, everyone will envy them.But just when the classmates thought they were about to enter the marriage hall, news of their breakup came.

She is an accountant in the finance department of a joint venture, and her job is very stable.Boyfriend A Fei works as a project manager in a Fortune [-] software company. His work is smooth and his economic conditions are good.Their emotional foundation is also solid. It stands to reason that they should have been married a long time ago, but there has been no news.

It turned out that A Fei wanted to get married one year after graduation, but she didn't agree.She felt that the two graduated not long ago, were young, and had no financial foundation, so it would not be too late to wait another two years.Although A Fei didn't say anything, there was always a lump in his heart.At this moment, a girl named Xiaozhuang under A Fei took advantage of the situation.She was angry and sad.But when she was thinking about how to resolve this crisis, Xiao Zhuang unexpectedly approached her and declared war on her.She didn't want to make a big fuss, but her self-esteem made her unable to calm down. She had a big fight with A Fei because of this matter, and she decided to break up.

A Fei knew he was wrong and didn't want to break up with her, so he had to bow his head and admit his mistake.But she was too hurt to forgive him immediately.After begging and begging but not getting her forgiveness, Ah Fei was also very angry.He felt that he had admitted his mistakes and said good things, but she still refused to let her go, which made him feel a little embarrassed.

"You ignore me, that's good, let's see who can bear it." Ah Fei was angrily in his heart.She thought that Ah Fei would continue to come to beg for mercy, but found that there was no movement, and she became even more angry, and a little disheartened.

The reason why she couldn't forgive him was because this was not the first time A Fei had cheated emotionally, and only she knew the sadness of it.In fact, for so many years, it is not that she has no other suitors, but she has always adhered to the relationship between herself and A Fei, and has never done anything out of the ordinary.She thought that with the growth of age and experience, A Fei would gradually get rid of this problem, but she didn't expect this thing to happen again.But she didn't propose to break up because she was not reconciled: Could it be that the relationship for so many years ended like this?Back then, the tall and handsome man had set up many "competitors" for her, and it was with great difficulty that he got to where he is today.And once they break up, he will easily find other women with his career and good looks, which makes people feel angry even thinking about it.In this way, the two had a cold war for two months.If she doesn't take the initiative, A Fei will basically stop contacting her, and even if he meets for something, he will talk innocuously.Although he didn't say the word "break up", it was obvious that A Fei's love for her had long since disappeared. The reason why he didn't say it was probably because he was waiting for her to speak, or because he didn't want to bear the stigma of the heartbroken.

Looking at the gradually unfamiliar A Fei, she felt an unspeakable pain in her heart, and her friends advised her to let go in order to seek relief. She also knew in her heart that the lost feelings could never be retrieved, but she still couldn't make up her mind , because unwillingness has been tormenting her.She didn't know when she would be able to figure it out, and she didn't know if she could figure it out.

It is said that women are hurt because of their deep love, but the real situation in real life is that when the love hurts, the love has probably gone away.The fact is that she no longer loves him, but because of jealousy, loneliness, face or other realistic conditions, she chooses more painful patience, connivance, and indifference until she hurts both herself and the other party.In other words, rather than saying that a woman can't give up on that man, it's better to say that what she can't let go of is her years of hard work and dedication.

When unwillingness becomes a habit, then love will no longer be love, and you will no longer be you. At this time, do you still dare to expect that a man will love you and tolerate you unchanged?So for women, sometimes learning to identify themselves is more important than understanding men.Love is something that both parties must be willing to do. If you don’t have the spirit of willing to bet and admit defeat, don’t touch it lightly. The sweetness obtained in love will eventually be replaced by resentment.And life is so short that it can't carry all these worries at all.Therefore, if you can't learn to let go of a broken love, then you can't get peace of mind and happiness.

When a failed relationship ends, you should learn to re-examine yourself, so that your emotions and life will truly go smoothly and have a good taste.As Zhang Huimei sang in "Cutting Love":

Cut the love into pieces and blow it to the sea with the wind,
There are many things, let the tears wash more clearly,
As naive as I am, I open my hands and think I can hold on to the future,
And who guarantees that love will never be stained with dust.

Cut the love into pieces and blow it to the sea with the wind,
The deeper the hurt, the more I understand that love should let go, I shouldn't,
How can I be dependent on you,
Let the passion turn into hurt in a blink of an eye.

The deeper the injury, the more you understand that you must let go of love, let go, and let go of unwillingness, only then will you have the opportunity and hope to start again.

6. Through a silent time

Life is a process of understanding, cutting a passing time, holding the warmth that goes along the way, and combing the most dull days into a poetic landscape.

The feeling of love is always exciting.A woman who is new to love is like taking ecstasy, her mind is always agitated.The original good mood will be even better, even if you were in hell before, you will be in heaven in an instant.In their eyes, the grass will always be green, the flowers will always be fragrant, and the river will always be clear...all of these will create a wonderful feeling in their hearts, just like the fireworks in the sky.

However, when the flowering period is over and winter comes, the flowers will wither, the river will freeze, and no matter how beautiful the fireworks are, they will eventually disappear.The same is true for love, it is impossible to maintain the initial temperature forever.Day after day, the once soul-stirring and vigorous love will become dull, and the once lingering and day-to-day feelings will gradually fade away, replaced by increasingly dull relationships and day-to-day daily necessities.At this time, most of the women will feel a little disappointed. So the so-called "prince and princess live happily ever after" is actually such an ending?

Someone once conducted a survey like this: What are the three words that women most want to hear in love?Many people think that the answer is beyond doubt, it must be "I love you".But people who think this way are wrong. Compared with "I love you", women are more willing to hear "together".In this sense, women have higher fantasies and hopes for marriage than men. That is to say, in fact, women really hope that their love will be settled one day.Because only by bringing love into the castle of marriage, one's love will not become a "lonely ghost" and can be put in place.

But women are contradictory. While envious of Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai's emergence from the grave, they are tired of the dull and silent grave of marriage.Therefore, they inevitably feel resentment, but the reality cannot be changed. Instead of exhausting yourself physically and mentally in resentment, it is better to find another way to let your flower of love blow and breathe properly to keep it fresh and bloom.

She and Yuan Hao have been married for five years, and the days pass by like clouds and flowing water, and their daughter is already 3 years old.The fiery love at the beginning has gradually cooled down, and now they are not lovers more often, but relatives.Before she got married, she was a romantic woman who had many beautiful imaginations about love and marriage. She fantasized that she was Snow White who ate a poisoned apple and could be kissed by a prince. She fantasized that she was a kind Cinderella. The prince with the crystal slipper took her into the palace.Of course, although she did not wait for the prince in the end, she also got her true love.

Yuan Hao is a romantic person, he gave her surprises and touches again and again when he pursued her, and finally she agreed to his marriage proposal.When he first got married, Yuan Hao still maintained the romance of being in love, pampering and even pampering her, making her feel surrounded by happiness every day.However, after a period of time, gradually, she felt that Yuan Hao had changed, and he no longer made surprises for her, and sometimes even started to quarrel with her over trivial matters in life.

Gradually, she also got used to it, the original appearance of life is probably like this.Especially after her daughter was born, her heart became calmer, although occasionally she felt sad because of some ordinary life.

One day, she said to Yuan Hao: "I'm going on a business trip for a week, because I'm very busy with work, so don't bother me during this period, and I will come back naturally." Think more.On the second day after her business trip, Yuan Hao had to call her because he wanted to discuss some things with her, but her phone was turned off.what happened?It turned out that she never turned off the phone when she was on a business trip.So Yuan Hao called her company again, only to hear a shocking news: she asked for leave.There is no so-called business trip at all. What is going on here? Where did she go?Did she elope with someone else?Did something happen to her?Yuan Hao began to think wildly, and then began to look for her everywhere.

Following various clues, Yuan Hao finally found her in a resort in the suburbs.When he pushed open the door, a soothing music hit her face, and she was dancing gently with the music while holding a glass of red wine.Yuan Hao rushed into the room and searched every corner, but he didn't find the man he imagined.

Seeing this scene, she seemed a little surprised, but quickly regained her composure. "Don't look for it, there is nothing hidden in this room except myself." She said softly. "Why do you hide yourself in this way?" Yuan Hao was puzzled. "In order to keep our love, I want to take it out for a breath of air, otherwise it will be slowly killed by the ordinary day after day." She said.

When love slips into the ordinary fleeting time, we don't have to panic, let alone feel sad, because this is just a necessary stage in love.And from another point of view, we should also be thankful, because although the love has faded, that person has always been by our side, so we are not alone.Of course, we should also try to change at this time, just like the "her" in the story, occasionally take the already somewhat "mouldy" love to the sun, so that it can be rejuvenated.

(End of this chapter)