Heart like dust, smile peacefully

Chapter 15 The years are quiet, Xu Yi is calm and stable (1)
Life is a kind of slow progress like summer water,

Let's not worry about when we're 30,
You shouldn't be in a hurry to be 50 years old,

When we live, we don't have to expect death to come,
All this will always come.

——San Mao

1. As long as you are alive, you are beautiful

No matter what kind of struggles and challenges we are going through, maybe we have only one choice: despite the pain, we should still be happy and believe in the future.

At the age of three, I was a wife, and I was overworked in the house;The words have been fulfilled, as for the violence.The brother didn't know, so he laughed.Think about it quietly, bow yourself in mourning.

When you grow old together, it always makes me complain.Qi has shore, and Xi has pan.At the banquet of the chief horn, Yan Yan was laughed at.Make a vow and don't think about it.If you don't think about it, it's too late!

This is a well-known "Women's Ci" in "The Book of Songs·Wei Feng·Mang", which roughly means: I have been a wife in your house for many years, and I have been diligently adhering to women's morals, going to bed late and getting up early every day, busy inside and outside, and considerate.Before you married me, you always spoke kindly to me, but after you married me, you never spoke kindly to me again, and your smiling face turned into an angry one.I have no place to confide in the bitterness in my heart. I sit quietly and think about all this, feeling sad alone.Originally, I wanted to grow old with you forever, but if I did that, I would definitely end up on the road of resentment.How happy we were together when we were young, but I never thought you would change your mind now.Since you broke your oath and don't miss your old love, forget it.

In the end, the wind is violent, Gu Wo laughs, and the waves laugh, and the center is mourning.

In the final wind and haze, Huiran is willing to come, not to go, to think leisurely.

In the end, the wind will blow, and there will be blows every day. If you talk loudly, you will not be able to sleep, and if you want to talk, you will sneeze.

If you talk about it, it's yin, if you talk about it, you can't sleep, if you want to talk, you will be pregnant.

This is another "Poetry for Resenting Women" in "The Book of Songs Beifeng Final Wind". The whole poem lists the husband's "crimes": I feel like I am married to a hooligan and have a bad temper.When he is around, he only laughs and fights, without seriousness, which makes people resentful and sad.But when he is not around, people miss him and hope that he will come back, even if he sneezes.Missing you all night makes you restless, and you feel infinite sadness in your heart.

Some people once said that the entire Book of Songs is actually a "poem about resenting women". From the above two articles, it is enough to see that this statement is true.It turns out that women's complaints have existed since ancient times. It seems that after getting married, women will all go to the road of complaining about wives. It can be said that there are as many wives as there are women in the world.And the reason why women become resentful wives is also very simple. It all stems from the nature of men who love the new and dislike the old.After marrying a man, a woman must go through the baptism of time. At that time, no matter how gentle and virtuous, no matter how shrewd and capable, in the eyes of men, she can't compare with the illusory mirror.I don't know if it's the women who are pitiful, or the men who are pitiful!

As time goes by, it is difficult to satisfy women's complaints when complaining about men being playful and unfeeling. Nowadays, women's complaints about men have extended to a wider range of aspects: not handsome, not able to make money, cowardly, and not able to cling to the powerful Wait, it has become the "subject" for women to complain about men.But when a woman vents her dissatisfaction with the man in her heart and complains heartily, will the man "repent and rehabilitate"?Will it change according to the woman's hope?Will he become the "perfect" person in the eyes of women?Most of the answers are no. Men may start to work hard because of women’s encouragement, but they will never change because of women’s complaints. Even if they change, they will only get worse and worse. Far.A mild-tempered man will mostly remain silent in the face of a woman's complaints, but if the man is very irritable, then the woman's complaint may result in a quarrel, and in severe cases, domestic violence may occur, or even break up. .This is by no means alarmist talk. In reality, there are many cases where marriages break down because of women's complaints.

In fact, women also understand in their hearts that sometimes their complaints cannot play any positive and positive role. On the contrary, they will arouse men's resentment and lead to conflicts between the two.However, women can't control their complaining mouths, and they can't blame women, because women are inherently sentimental, sensitive and suspicious.

Today, women's various complaints seem to be more than ever.Because in addition to men, there are many people who can make women complain: for example, complaining about children who are not up to date, complaining that friends are not mean enough, complaining that the boss is too stingy, complaining that the boss is difficult to serve, and complaining about narrow-minded colleagues... At the same time, the scope of women’s complaints is still limited. It will be transferred from people to various things, for example, complaining about the difficulty of work, complaining about social injustice, complaining... a group of mothers get together, and the complaints begin. "My little ancestor is getting more and more disobedient, and I'm going to be mad at him." "My child didn't get into the top five in the exam, so all the tuition fees are really wasted." "My child is getting fatter and fatter. She eats less, but she just doesn’t listen, and sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and secretly drinks milk.” “Our child’s class teacher is too irresponsible. The child’s grades are not satisfactory, and he always blames our parents for lax supervision. If we know how to educate Why are children sending their children to school?"

A group of white-collar workers in the workplace got together and complained. "My boss is really hard to find in heaven and earth. His daily job is to pick on our faults. He is too difficult to serve." "That must be better than me. Our boss is even more hateful. Showing off in front of you, you are better than the boss, which makes you angry.” “Being a subordinate is not easy, and being a boss is even more difficult. My group of subordinates don’t think about how to improve their work performance every day, they only think about taking annual leave and asking for benefits. Worried." "Compared with bosses and subordinates, colleagues are the most troublesome. They think about calculating you every day, and are always on guard against you." "Our company boss is too stingy. It is more difficult to ask him to raise our wages." "Our company's efficiency is getting worse and worse, but the boss doesn't think about making progress. Maybe he will go bankrupt one day."

A group of girlfriends got together and the whining started. "Xiaolian is too mean. That day we both made an appointment to go shopping together after get off work, but when I called her after get off work, she turned off the phone." She used the newly bought bag, but she said that the zipper of the bag was broken, and she sent it back for repairs. How could the zipper of the newly bought bag be broken? If you don’t want to borrow it, you don’t want to borrow it. Why do you make such a bad excuse!” Lixin bought a house and showed off in front of me all day long, what's the big deal, why doesn't she buy a villa if she's really rich!"

All kinds of complaints from women seem to come from one mouth, and they are of various types, involving a wide range, and it is difficult to count.Everyone dislikes crows, not because crows are black, but because crows sing too badly, and a woman's complaint is like the crow's mouth.The woman full of resentment was like a crow flying over from the clear sky, and the cry of "嗄嘎" was annoying.Why is a woman's complaints as annoying as a crow's cry, because resentment is bad luck, a curse.When a woman is used to complaining, then this kind of resentment will go deep into the woman's soul, and the "ecstasy" will be applied to the woman's thoughts and feelings, so that the negative energy will penetrate into the woman's bones.So, women, get rid of complaining.Instead of complaining, it is better to change, this is the eternal motto!

Instead of complaining that men love the new and dislike the old, it is better to make yourself new every day. When you become more and more beautiful, understand the sentiment of life more and more, and become more understanding, then not only men will not dislike you, but you will also feel that life Better.Instead of complaining about a man’s incompetence, it’s better to encourage him to work harder, so that he can gain as much as he does. When a man starts to work hard with your encouragement, why worry about not establishing a career, why worry about not being successful?Instead of complaining that your child is not up to date, it is better to change your education method, don't set the goal too high, don't put all expectations on the child, but tap the potential of the child and give full play to the child's strength; instead of complaining that the child is disobedient , it is better to learn to communicate with children sincerely, don’t always nag endlessly, don’t always keep a straight face, let go of the parent’s airs, and you will become true friends with your children. What about smooth?Instead of complaining that your boss is difficult to serve, you should do your job well and make it perfect. How can your boss pick out your faults?Instead of complaining about the low salary, it is better to actively improve your working ability and knowledge. When you become an indispensable talent for the company, how can the boss not value you and not give you a salary increase?Instead of complaining about bad luck and difficult life, it's better to calm down and accept that life is not smooth sailing. If you don't experience wind and rain, how can you see the rainbow, and the heart is naturally wide.

"Be right and wrong, be fair and cautious, don't offend others, don't take it too seriously when encountering cold wind and rain, and don't bother with sarcasm and questioning if you are full of self-confidence. You are destined to be rich or poor in the dark. What is wrong is never right. The truth is always the truth. Whatever you do Saying that I keep my duty, I always believe that silence is golden. I laughed and scolded you to behave freely, young people behave freely, and continue to behave freely." This song "Silence is Golden" can speak and sing a few truths in the world, If you want to open up, shut up your complaints and be a free and easy person.Only women who don't complain will be happier and happier.

2. When the mind is clear, it will be quiet, and when the mind is quiet, it will be clear

We feel unhappy not because we have too little, but because we can't let go of our desire for more.

What kind of personality women are most popular with men?Faced with this question, men may give many kinds of answers. Some people like cheerful and lively ones, some like introverted and quiet ones, some like coquettish ones, and some like independent ones.

Although everyone has different preferences, there is a woman with a personality that is the favorite of all men, and that is a woman with a gentle personality.As a woman, she has to be a bit feminine, and the most feminine thing is tenderness like water.Since gentle women are the most popular, conversely speaking, hot-tempered and even violent women are inevitably unpopular.

They met on a blind date.His name is Lin Bin, and he is the purchasing director of a foreign company, while she is a nurse in the obstetrics and gynecology department of a hospital.Lin Bin likes her not only because of her beauty, but also because of her cheerful personality.

At the beginning, Lin Bin was very kind to her, caring and caring, and often created some small romances, which moved her very much.And he is also very willing to spend money on her, brand-name bags, brand-name cosmetics, he has never been stingy.She was immersed in the happiness of love, and even a little ecstatic.However, after a few months of dating, Lin Bin's attitude towards her quietly changed.

She is good in everything, but she has a bad temper. She often gets angry with him because of some trivial things, and she won't let go if she catches a little braid.At first, Lin Bin didn't think it was a big problem.However, gradually, Lin Bin discovered that her temper was not just as simple as being petty.Her impetuous personality makes her unable to tolerate even the slightest shortcomings of others. She is often very angry when encountering unacceptable things. Sometimes even if Lin Bin admits his mistakes, she is still relentless.Lin Bin was a little hesitant, he wanted to give himself some time to calmly think about whether it was worth getting along with them.So, when she asked him out, he always shied away because he was busy with work or some other reason.

Finally one day, she came directly downstairs to Lin Bin's company. Instead of calling his cell phone, she called his office phone and told him that she was waiting for him in the coffee shop downstairs.A few minutes later, Lin Bin came to the coffee shop.

"Why didn't you answer my phone?" As soon as we met, she couldn't help asking loudly. "I was having a meeting in the conference room at that time, and the general manager was speaking on it, so it was inconvenient to pick up." Lin Bin explained.

"Well, even if you were in a meeting, why didn't you call me after the meeting?" She continued to question.

"The meeting lasted until we got off work at noon, and then I went to have dinner with my colleagues. After returning, I started to sort out the contents of the morning meeting. I haven't found time yet." Lin Bin continued to explain.

"Why didn't I know you were so dedicated before? Even if you are busy, you don't even have time to call me, do you?" She insisted.

"If you are here to quarrel with me, then I'm sorry, I really don't have time to accompany you. As I said just now, I am very busy at work today, and there are still a lot of things waiting to be done. If you have nothing else to do, I will Go upstairs first." Lin Bin was obviously upset, and even issued an order to evict the guest.

"What do you mean? Chase me away? I didn't make it clear that you can't leave!" She said loudly with her impatience.

"My colleagues are all around, can you speak in a lower voice! Besides, it's my working hours now, please stop messing around, okay?" Lin Bin looked around and frowned.

"Before I came to the company to look for you, you were very happy, but this time you not only thought I was noisy, but also drove me away? Have you changed your mind? How could you treat me like this?" The more she spoke, the more excited she became, and the more she spoke, the more wronged she became , Tears are about to fall.

"Little ancestor, I beg you, please stop making trouble. I admit my mistake. It was my fault for not answering your phone call. It was also my fault for not calling you after the meeting. Can you go home first? I'm going to find you." Lin Bin felt that everyone around him was looking at him, as if he was "Chen Shimei".

"No, I won't go, I'll wait here for you to get off work." When she lost her temper, it was difficult to coax her.

Lin Bin knew that if he left her here and went back to work in the company by himself, with her impatient temper, something might happen.He had no choice but to ask for leave from the unit leader and sent her home.

Originally, Lin Bin had been hesitating whether to continue getting along with her, but after her troubles, he made up his mind that short-term pain is worse than long-term pain, and he wants to break up with her.Faced with this ending, she wanted to cry but had no tears.

As mentioned above, men like gentle women, but it is difficult to truly love a woman with an impatient personality.As in love, so in marriage.Some people say that whether a family is harmonious and happy depends not on the ability and wallet of the man, but on the temperament and disposition of the woman.Even if you have all the virtues in the world, if you are short-tempered or even irritable, angry at the slightest things, and you either scold your husband or lecture your children loudly all day long, then it will be difficult to hold happiness in your hands.A woman's bad temper is not only harmful to her husband and children, but also causes misfortune to marriage and family when it is serious.

Now that we understand that bad temper hurts others and ourselves, we should find ways to overcome it.In addition to physiological reasons and lack of sufficient self-cultivation and other reasons, women's bad temper may also be related to the lack of certain nutrients.According to health experts, if vitamin B6 is lacking, it can lead to excitement, hyperreflexia and peripheral neuritis in women, which will lead to symptoms such as headache, short temper and easy excitement in women.If vitamin B1 is lacking, it can not only cause beriberi, but also neuritis and affect the heart, which will also make women grumpy and even moody.In addition, the lack of trace elements such as iron and zinc can also lead to a woman's tendency to be irritable.Here are some tips from mental health experts for women that can help women deal with cranky emotions.

First, women must learn to recognize emotions.The so-called cognitive emotion is to admit our bad temper. Bad temper is very unfair to the people around us. They are often hurt by our bad temper for no reason. After a long time, they will naturally become dissatisfied with us.Therefore, you should always admit your bad mood. For example, when you lose your temper, say to your husband or others: "I'm sorry, I'm not in a good mood today, so it's inevitable that I got angry. It's not your fault, please forgive me." Have a little patience." If you can say this, I believe the other party will not blame you.

Second, ensure your sleep time and quality.Poor sleep can seriously affect mood, which has been verified by many people.Therefore, when you find that you are irritable, you can try to go to bed half an hour earlier every day for the next period of time, or use your lunch break to close your eyes for a while.

(End of this chapter)