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Chapter 8 Life can be cheap, but dreams are not (1)
God gave us youth just so that we can toss happily.If you don't force yourself, how can you find out that life can be different?
If you don't work hard, no one will stay where you are

If you don't work hard, no one will stay where you are.Only by holding your dreams in your own hands can you reap the light of hope.

He is a singer.There are probably tens of thousands or even more dream chasers like him in Beijing.

On a business trip to Beijing, ask him out to meet.I used to chat on the Internet many times, but I didn't expect to find out after meeting that the boy was so young, even with a beard, he couldn't pretend to be vicissitudes, but he could see the disguise that he wanted to resist the world.

He said to take me to a coffee shop he used to go to.I said that it is not easy for you to travel alone in Beijing, so let's just find a place to sit.

He came to Beijing when the trend of fleeing Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou was in full swing.At that time, Beijing was not as famous for its smog as it is now. Within a few years, everyone was looking for their dreams in the smog-sucking city.Many people told him that this is a city where fathers, identities, household registrations, and health are all at stake.He didn't believe it, he said it was the same everywhere, but in the end it was his restless heart that fought.

He is of mixed race and his mother is a foreigner.His father has been in business, which was enough to support his music dream, but just a few years ago, his father suddenly fell ill.Later, his father needed a kidney transplant. During the long period of waiting for the type matching, he had to live in the hospital and spend endless money on the hospital.

In the end, the wealthy family finally became destitute.

After he graduated, his mother stayed behind to take care of his father, and he chose to go north.When he first arrived in Beijing, he rented a house far away from the urban area, and drove to the city with his demo every day like an office worker.Morning after morning, I was stuck in the crowded subway, got off at the wrong station, was rejected by the record company again and again, and then returned to the remote residence.

After spending all the money, I went to the bar to sing.He couldn't bear to ask his family for money again.He also moved from the rented high-rise to a very dilapidated small hotel, and finally moved to the damp and stuffy basement with no windows. Sometimes it felt like a coffin, with four walls blocking all roads leading to the outside.

If this is a society that judges faces, his image as a mixed race should be very popular.However, living in the basement for a long time made him lack of sunlight, his face was extremely pale, and his mental state was also very poor.He was very disappointed and even wanted to give up at one point. He slept in the basement during the day, went to the bar where he sang at night, and sometimes went to several bars.

His world seemed to be forever in darkness.From the dark and damp basement to the restless bar in the dark.

Suddenly he received a call from his family, saying that his father's body was recurring, and that minor ailments had never stopped after the kidney transplant.He returned to the southern city from Beijing.I have been taking care of my father for a long time, and I also found a bar in a small town to sing, in exchange for a meager income to support my life, and try not to increase the burden on the family.

After returning to the south, everything slowed down, and I thought forget it, don't pursue any singing dreams, although it is not very good, it is not bad.Later, I received a call from a small entertainment company in Beijing, saying that I wanted to meet.

He returned to Beijing without hesitation, and like most people who fled Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, he returned there again.

He signed with the little entertainment company.With a meager salary, he discussed with the company about packaging, planning, doing activities, and participating in some small concerts.During that time, he really worked hard in a positive direction.Spend a lot of time every day on vocal training, fitness, and music creation.

But then the agent in charge of him had a problem and left.He has become a tasteless role that no one in the company is responsible for.I still do vocal training, fitness, and songwriting every day.At that time, I went into the studio to record and put the recorded songs on the Internet.It was after listening to his songs that we met and did an online interview.At that time, I didn't know that he was acting as his own agent, dealing with various media people, and running his own dream.

During that time, he suddenly deleted all the information on Weibo.After resetting to zero, start over.At that time, it happened to be the time when he had conflicts with the brokerage company.

He would chat with me every once in a while, or send a set of pictures, asking if he could be the cover character.I found out later that during that time he was chatting with many media people like this.It's just that because we all like Hayao Miyazaki's animations, the depth of my chat with him goes beyond the relationship between artists and media people, and it's more like a friend.

We talked for a long time in the shop that night.He carries an iPad with his recently recorded songs.He gave me the earphones, let me listen to his new songs, and give him advice.At that time, I felt that this boy, who was a few years younger than me, had undertaken too much in front of his dream.His father often has to go to the hospital after a kidney transplant, and he may be called back to the south at any time. He lives alone in a remote or even dirty small hotel in the basement. After a dispute with the brokerage company, no one is in charge of his packaging and publicity.But even if it is a small company, he still holds it so firmly.

I asked him if he thought about entering the draft.He said that he didn't want to stand on stage like those contestants and talk about his family's illness or the suffering of chasing dreams to win sympathy.

He smiled and said, if possible, I hope I can do more publicity for him.

He said that he had posted a few songs on the Internet, and I can listen to them when I go back.It was too hasty to go out. If I had known that I would go to Beijing, he would definitely burn a CD of the song he recorded now and give it to me.He said that he is preparing an album by himself, and he will work with the musicians he has met in Beijing over the years. After it is done, it will be recorded and released on the company's platform.

He said that after the album comes out, he will definitely send me a few copies.

When he laughed, it was hard to imagine that he used to live in the basement, smoking and looking pale.He is very fond of laughing, even though he has been in Beijing for so long, he has never really released an album.I believe he will send me his album one day.

When he was in a difficult life, he recorded some audio for others, went to the bar to sing, and ate instant noodles for fear that his throat would be damaged. He told himself every day, don’t get sick. spend money.During the most difficult days, he came over, and he said that he didn't even remember how he survived.Although the current situation is not very good, it is much better than it was then.

How many times have I been frightened awake in a dream, like thousands of people who are congested on the road, coming here from all over the country, crawling hard, and walking on the road of dreams.His smiling bearded face seemed to have turned that difficult time into a stepping stone to a better future.

It is said that Beijing is a city where fathers fight for identity. From those people who came to this city for music like himself, and from his past experiences, he truly believes that there are many things and many things. All can be used to fight and compare. The only thing that can't be compared is your own experience.Maybe those who became famous in the talent show surpassed his footsteps in pursuit of dreams, but they couldn't surpass the depth of life given by those experiences.The most basic human feelings can be shattered, but the only thing that sticks to the end is one's own persistence in dreams.

He believes that his album will come out soon, and so do I.He has climbed from the dust to today, no longer needs to live in the basement, no longer needs to eat instant noodles, has friends, has a recording studio, has enthusiasm, and has a dream of making music. I believe he will eventually get everything that belongs to him.

Many things are in their own hands.For example, if you are happy, if you are not happy, no one will sympathize with your sadness; if you are strong, if you are not strong, no one will pity your cowardice;Only by holding your dreams in your own hands can you reap the light of hope.

live life the way you want
The so-called self-confidence is not to believe that you are omnipotent, but to know that you also have shortcomings, and diligence can make up for it.

一
When we were young, our parents often said to us: You should play more with students with good grades and spend less time with those students with poor grades.

When we are with excellent people, our parents hope that we can learn from them and become "other people's children". "Other people's children" are always praised when they make mistakes.

But often you find that playing with good kids doesn't actually work the way parents expect.

Especially during adolescence, when we are still young, we always feel as if everything will develop in a good direction, but in fact, this world cannot be rewarded simply by working hard.

two

After graduating from junior high school, five students from my township middle school were admitted to the best middle school in the county.

At that time, I was considered a child with good grades but not so obedient. I started puppy love in junior high school, and it was not a formal puppy love to be exact. I didn't even hold hands once.Just because of the love that is not love, we have been tossing each other emotionally for a long time. Whether we are happy or not, we are inextricably linked to each other.For the sake of that girl, I even slapped the table and confronted the head teacher who liked me so much.

After the high school entrance examination, I became one of the 5 lucky ones, but she didn't.

During that summer vacation, I secretly made up my mind to follow the girl to the same ordinary high school, and I would not go to a key high school even if I was killed.But how could he survive round after round of attacks from his parents and sister.

Before going to a key middle school, I told my mother that my grades were at the bottom of the five of us. If I went to such a good school, I would definitely not be able to keep up, and I would end up struggling in my studies.

In the end, I went, and was assigned to the liberal arts key class.He also sat at the same table with the best liberal arts students in the school until he graduated from high school.My tablemate has a long-term full score in mathematics and a long-term score of around 140 in English. I am under too much pressure.Every time the report card is announced, I am always thrown out of about [-] places.

Come to think of it, that time was probably the most painful time I had.I asked the teacher to apply for a change of seat, and felt that the seat was simply unacceptable.Apparently, my humble reasons were no match for the lectures and criticisms that my class teacher, who was a political teacher, asked me to "play subjective initiative".

I feel like I've put in a lot of effort, we're all the same person, but I can't do what he does.His tuition is free, and the teacher is obliged to give him extra lessons.The passion and impulsiveness of youth made me think that the distance could be shortened, but it was futile in the end.Those three years were not very happy.Depression comes from the distance between us that can never be shortened.I admit that I am envious and jealous, and I admit that I hope that too, but I failed to achieve my wish after graduation. In the end, he went to Xiamen University, but I missed the Communication University of China that I dreamed of.

I finally realized that I was craving too much, and my ability was not enough for my cravings.

I have complained many times, why do I work the same, study the same, and take the same classes, but I will never achieve the same results.It is difficult for us to face our own hearts and admit that we may not be good enough. It is not that his rank is too high, but your rank is too low.And you always measure your life by his standards.

three

Everyone knows the story of the monkey breaking the corn.

I have loved writing since junior high school.Of course, in the time before that, writing was a huge pain for me.The distance between writing and dreaming of becoming a writer is too long and too far away, so far away that if you say it, you will be laughed at by all your classmates and friends.

Hahaha, you can be a writer too?
But silently refused to admit defeat.When I was in high school, youth novels became popular, writers born in the 80s emerged, Han Han, Guo Jingming, Zhang Yueran and others were becoming popular.After reading Guo Jingming's "How Many Flowers Fall in Dreams", I thought that kind of cruel youth was so cool, and I also wanted to write youth novels.

So I wrote two short stories "Wolf" and "Dream of Loulan", which were only circulated among my classmates, but did not cause much repercussions. A few friends gave me affirmation at the price of friendship, and I had to treat them to snacks in return.

Later, it was submitted to the new concept contest of "Sprout", but there was no news of it.It is not known where the two manuscripts of the novel went.Since then, I have written youth novels, but I dare not submit them.

When I was a freshman, I read the novels of Yu Hua, Su Tong, and Lu Yao, and felt the charm of language. The experimental nature of the avant-garde novels made the language too dark, and Lu Yao’s description of the local culture was simply unmatched.So I felt that I should write serious literature and then started writing, which was affirmed by the literary creation teacher.Afterwards, I still saved the novel in my computer. At that time, I was still more or less afraid, thinking that the response to the novel would be silence.

Later, the suspense horror novels by Cai Jun, Li Ximin and others became extremely popular.So I started writing suspense novels again.Suspense novels are the ones I write the most and probably the most proud.Friends watched it and praised it.

A classmate in the college has become famous in the circle of suspense novels. He has published many novels and even published books. He was already quite remarkable when he was a student.One day he learned that I was also writing suspense novels, and asked me to show him the novels and communicate with each other.I thought he had been tested by the market, but after reading it for him, he gave a negative answer, saying that such a novel is difficult to publish.I believe him. After graduation, he became a horror film screenwriter, and many of the scripts he wrote have been released.

In the end, all my novels became the bride's padded jacket at the bottom of the computer box, and I never dared to open it again.

Every time a certain type of literature becomes popular, I always want to try it.It seems that I want to train myself to be an all-rounder. Others can, and I can write and contribute, but in the end, except for the guise of literary dreams, none of those novels were published.What was actually published was some current affairs commentary, prose poetry.At that time, I always regarded the novel as the supreme literary genre, and stumbled on it.

Do you really love those literary genres?Is it really suitable for me to write such works?Where are your strengths and style?Never thought about it.I always deceive myself with my love of literature.I felt that I worked so hard, but why did I write so many things, and I got either a negative answer or an inexplicable fear.

In this world, if you work hard, you will be rewarded.Fate always loves to joke, and beat the warrior wearing Don Quixote's mask and armor to nothing.Yes, only failure can make you really calm down and think.At that moment, I really noticed that among the QQ friends, there is a friend whose QQ signature is: When your ability is not enough to support your dream, all you have to do is to read more books and learn more.

What I have pursued for so long is not a literary dream at all, but the glory of success after someone else's literary path is clear, which makes the self who doesn't know where the road ahead is fascinated, and is too eager to spend several times behind his back. Even dozens of times more than others are equal to me.

It is difficult to understand this truth, especially if you can understand it and use it as a reason to think about it, and start on the road again.

four

After graduating from university and entering the society, they fell into the same predicament again.I thought I understood a long time ago that other people's lives are never your own standard, and your dreams are only your own and cannot be used to measure others.We all have our own set of standards.Although Tang Jun once said that his success can be replicated, everyone lost interest in the so-called replicable success after discovering that his academic qualifications can be pasted.

Fatty is a friend I admire very much.He is a man of the day on campus, and he has always acted swiftly and resolutely. When he joined the debate team, he led the debate team to the finals of the whole school and finally won the championship.He always puts the best in everything he does.I didn't ask him if his weight brought him low self-esteem, so he worked extremely hard, but his hard work was indeed a visible success.

(End of this chapter)