just passing by you

Chapter 21 The scenery is so unreliable (1)

He is a well-known scholar I know. He has published many books and has a lot of influence in the academic circle.There are often people like me who come to visit and see his study filled with certificates of honor, large and small, and immediately feel admiration, thinking, if a person can do this, he has come to this world for nothing.His wife is also a professor at the university.A daughter is studying in the UK and already has a Ph.D. Before she graduated, a large foreign company with good treatment sent her an invitation.When he mentioned his daughter, the comments and envy of those outsiders, and another of his favorite works to be published, he couldn't hide his pride and joy.His scenery, full of ground, overflowed, and even the irrelevant passers-by were splashed wet.

It was a very coincidental chance. I heard that he and his wife had been separated for many years.But it was because of a love affair outside of marriage that she caught the handle, so she gave up the idea of ​​divorce and lived lonely day by day.When he was young, he was full of ambition, but after all, he came from the countryside, and no one recognized his talent.Then I met her, a woman with a prominent background. When I met her for the first time, I could see her arrogance and domineering.But it was finally combined with her, and the fame and status he wanted immediately flowed naturally.In just a few years, he can completely rely on his own strength to climb to a position that everyone envies in the academic circle.

However, he could no longer get rid of the bone-destroying loneliness and loneliness brought to him by his loveless marriage.He couldn't stop himself from being busy, and once he couldn't find something to do, he would be like a small boat on the vast sea, surrounded by boundless voids.He had no choice but to devote a withered heart to academics.And in these dazzling halos, you can get a little happiness, as well as the infinite scenery that outsiders can't match.But who can really see the sadness behind the scenery?When he deserved love, he married her.When she could jump out of the marriage, she was forced again.By the time he was disheartened, he was old, leaving only some vanity that was just something outside of him. He looked beautiful, but in fact, only he knew the pain in it.

There is another woman we met online.She paints, writes, writes and publishes books, and often sends me "complaints", saying that she is being chased and stalked again, which is really annoying.She is also a woman, but I can tell from her words that she wants to show off to others.One is a talented and enchanting woman who is chased by many men, and the other is a Cinderella who has mediocre qualifications and has never even had a relationship. The beauty and gloom in it can be seen without mentioning it.

But this does not hinder our communication, I often go to her blog to see what she is busy with recently.Always with jealousy, looking at the colorful photos she took of herself, and the passionate love scenes recorded, even her daily life is as elegant and leisurely as green mountains and green waters.Compared with my ordinary and calm secular life, she is so gorgeous and radiant.Whenever I come down from her blog, my heart is full of loneliness and sadness.I don't know why, as a woman, she can be favored by fate like this, but I can only suffer through the ordinary and mediocre days.

Later, at a party, we met.However, she found that she was not as beautiful as in the photo, and the face under the delicate makeup was obviously withered and decayed after a serious illness that could not be concealed.Although she was still in high spirits at the party, I could still see that her happiness was actually faked.Moreover, the more she beamed with joy, the more I felt the deep sadness in her heart.Sure enough, a friend who knew her well said that she had a congenital heart disease, but she refused to tell anyone, even the men who chased her couldn't tell that she was sick.Like an addiction, she attracts love, and throws them away carelessly, looking for a new one.They all thought that she was extremely arrogant because of her talent.It is also in the brilliance she deliberately faked, just like me, I am jealous, inferior, and suffer from vanity.However, when the illness strikes, when all the glory and love cannot completely save her from helplessness, who can understand the deep-seated fear and despair in her heart?

We are always like this, in front of some scenery that can be seen clearly, we are hit and humbled.A boastful talk from a stranger, a rant from an online person, and the glory and happiness that a friend deliberately let you see when you are a guest, will make our hearts in the hustle and bustle more vulnerable and sad.However, we forget that the real scenery is not easy to see.It is always hidden in the deepest part of life, and only you know the warmth and tenderness in it.When you catch a glimpse of a person who is the most down-and-out in career, and his wife, holding hands, shopping in a small night market, and then discussing in soft words, which bouquet of fake flowers will look beautiful if placed in the study? It's even more beautiful, isn't this a ray of warmth that doesn't take the initiative to show others, isn't it considered beautiful?
Therefore, when a person is full of ambition, you don't have to envy; because scenery is the most unreliable coat, and you can't feel the real warmth or coldness.Guarding our own happiness, we will not come to this world in vain.

Some secrets, I don't want to know.

This was many years ago.At that time, he was still a young boy who would be cautious when he saw people. He had just passed the exam from a small county in the far west to study in the bustling Shanghai. The loneliness and loneliness of being alone made everyone go out to dance karaoke songs every weekend. Over time, it will go deeper and deeper.Fortunately, what he learned was his favorite garden design, so he went to the library when others were playing.This kind of hard work and diligence allowed him to quickly stand out among the students of the same department in just one year, becoming an outstanding boy who was admired and loved by many girls.

Of course he knows that his "excellence" is actually not worth mentioning in the eyes of ordinary people.Who would know the bitterness behind those design schemes, saving money and eating instant noodles by himself?Who can see the inherent timidity and low self-esteem concealed by his plain face?He is just a dandelion seed blown to Shanghai by the strong wind, whether it can take root or not, even he himself is confused and melancholy.Therefore, the envy of those outsiders was originally the afterglow of the setting sun, and had nothing to do with him, a seed that was trampled on the concrete floor indifferently.Therefore, when someone handed over the love letter of Xi Huahan to him, he was not as proud as many people imagined, or took it out to show off.He just stuffed this enthusiastically written love letter at the bottom of the stack of books, and then continued to live his life of poverty without any worries.

But Han's love letters were written one by one stubbornly.Before he could figure out how to refuse, Han directly came to him.In front of his roommates, Han coldly threw him a sentence: What kind of man is he who dare not even accept a love? !His face flushed red amidst a burst of laughter.He wanted to ask Han, why did he fall in love with him?A poor boy from a small town, apart from his excellent grades, what else is worthy of his love for a girl like her who is pursued like a star by all the boys?But after all, a man's self-esteem prevailed, he raised his head a little shyly, looked at Han with a smile, and said, Actually, I have been secretly in love with you for a long time.

So far, he and Han have become the happiest couple recognized in the department.He really loved Han deeply. Han's beauty, intelligence and fashion often made him feel that even if he gave everything, it would not be enough to repay the joy and sweetness she brought to his life.Because of this, he treats Han doubly well, not only helping him carry water, cook food and deliver breakfast in wind and rain, and fulfilling all the duties that a boyfriend should do, but also willing to give up many opportunities to participate in the exhibition, just to help Han participate wholeheartedly.Under his guidance, Han quickly became a duck to water professionally.She was originally a woman who was good at communication, and the teachers in the department gradually began to respect her, and let her take charge of some large-scale activities.Han this piece of jade, under his carving, gradually revealed the warm and charming luster, like the dawn light.

Han's reputation began to outshine him.And the rumors, gradually like the autumn leaves, whirling and flying one by one.He didn't want to pay attention to it, but they still came to touch him annoyingly from time to time.He is not sure whether those rumors are true; he also does not know how long the love Han gave him will last; but his heart is unmistakably convinced that love has been between him and Han If it is really tired and wants to fly to a higher branch, then he will not force it to keep it.Because he is the most humble one, but Han, in his heart, is the lark with loud singing; he hides under the birch tree, and he is satisfied when he hears her melodious and melodious singing. But she flew here to give him the most tender and most languid stop, then, what reason does he have to complain or feel sad in the love that is hot and cold from time to time?

Four years of university, soon came to an end.And this love that only one person gave wholeheartedly, he also knew that it was time to wither.He and Han were both busy looking for jobs, and they didn't say goodbye to each other, but their hearts were cold.But when the department posted the list of candidates to stay in school, he still hesitated a little like before, whether to give up this competition for the sake of Han.Han Han came to him first and asked if he could give her the design that candidates must submit in the preliminary round for reference?He looked at the familiar tenderness in Han's eyes, and asked her softly: Why not?
That design drawing, before he had time to make a final decision, was handed over by Han to the department.Two weeks later, he was not included in the list of candidates for the re-examination posted on the bulletin board.But Han's name is ranked first.In the face of such a result, he finally smelled the strong and sentimental atmosphere of parting.

(End of this chapter)