just passing by you

Chapter 24 I Can Argue You, But I Can't Argue About Love (2)

Those who have given him and her, ridicule or sympathy, will never understand how the night of staying in the aisle of the small hotel turned into a room, how to forge their lives; let them firmly believe that since love can Let them fall asleep peacefully in such a cold room, then, what else, he and she, cannot pass by with a smile?
And the place we walk hand in hand, no matter it is narrow and cold, or open and bright, is the home of our love.

Passing through the sadness of a love.

I have never had the luxury and joy of the rich, so every time I travel, I choose, without exception, the cheapest way: take a bus without air conditioning, a green train with half the price of the ticket, and people in it Shake a weightless bus, or a taxi three-wheeler that can almost jolt your stomach out.

It is a kind of walking that wants to escape but has no choice, but it can also be seen, the forbearance, sharpness, scrambling, selfishness, kindness, and perseverance of life.

When I first fell in love, I went to Shanghai alone. Instead of visiting the person I liked, I quarreled with him and left in anger.I only had 200 yuan in my pocket, so I used my student ID card and bought the cheapest bus ticket for 40 yuan. There was no seat and I had to stand for 9 hours.It was a train full of migrant workers, and there was also the smell of low-quality tobacco and alcohol and strong onion and garlic.Next to the toilet, there were men in unsightly sleeping postures sitting all over the place. Their huge travel bags blocked the aisle to the point of suffocation.Some people wanted to go over, as if they had crossed one mountain after another, but they frowned before they passed.

It was a night in late autumn, and the bright white lights in the car pierced people's eyes, and I couldn't sleep because of the bang bang bang bang.Looking around wearily, he saw the girl who was holding a cigarette among a group of men, smoking loosely.On her wrist, she wore overlapping ornaments, silver bracelets, braided colored silk threads, and a leather sheath used to simply tie her hair.She obviously didn't pay attention to the curious and searching eyes of the people around her. She was a bad girl with a cold heart. This must be the guess of many people.That includes me too.

For a moment, I really wanted to go to her side and talk to her in the whispers of some people, or just stand side by side without saying anything, and resist the speculation and peeping of outsiders for her. .I think she must be a down-and-out student in a certain university, but her heart is full of rebellion and firmness that refuses to change easily.Therefore, in such an embarrassing aisle of the carriage, she is also independent, with a flexibility that is not easy to change for outsiders.It's like the flowers that bloom in the sky and the earth, they don't care whether anyone sees their elegance and warmth, they just grow quietly in their own world.

She stood in the smoky aisle, smoking a cigarette until the light was gone.Then, along the swaying carriage, he squatted on a newspaper and leaned his head with shaggy hair on his knees.But she didn't fall asleep. Instead, she kept flipping the phone, and from time to time, opened it, flipping through the text messages inside.I finally got a glimpse of her secret from her eyes mixed with sadness and anxiety.This is a girl in love who, like me, ran away with anger.Shanghai, for me and her, is just a platform. Our feet have arrived there, but our hearts are still in place.And how can a body that has lost its mind sleep peacefully or pay attention to other things?
Sitting next to the girl was a boy who was not a few years older than her, but he had a ruffian face. When he looked at her, he had a meaningful and self-righteous smirk.He has been trying to find opportunities to chat with her.But she found that there was nowhere to start. Her heart was a closed fortress, and outsiders were both hard and soft, and they were still unable to enter.Just like me at that moment, with a wave of resentment, I regarded a stranger who was trying to strike up a conversation as nothingness.

The little ruffian obviously got impatient, leaned his head over abruptly, and asked her, "Where do I get off?"It took the girl a long time before she turned her head and glanced at him, then said casually: Next stop.The little ruffian let out an "oh" in disappointment, then laughed and said, "Can I have a cigarette?"The girl didn't stop the boredom in her heart this time, she got up straight, stepped over several people with cross-legged legs, stood at the door a few meters away from him, and cast her eyes indifferently into the dark night.

As I guessed, when the next stop arrived, she really didn't get off the bus, and she was still standing at the door, being pushed and bumped, feeling pain and fatigue.

When the car was about to arrive in Shanghai in the early morning, her cell phone rang again and again, and she hung up stubbornly, but her eyes gradually showed irresistible fragility and sentimentality.She was just a sensitive and weak girl, and all the strength and indifference on the outside are actually a disguise.In such a noisy, dirty, poor-quality and tired environment, her flexibility, like a clear lotus flower, floats a sadness that only she can understand on the lonely water.And outsiders like me just happened to pass by.

The sadness in this passing love, even though it lives in cheap soil, can also reach your heart in an instant, with incomparable tenacity, because of its pure beauty and cleanliness.

How can I miss you a little bit.

They started to have a crush on each other while they were studying.

But it's just a secret love, and no one will say it.He is an all-powerful figure in the student union, not only admired by all the girls in the school, but also respected by the teachers.She is the champion of the provincial college music competition, and she is also beautiful, and is the dream lover of many boys.They are all excellent people, and of course they all have their own pride, waiting for the other party to write a love letter first to break through this difficult secret love.

She originally lived at her uncle's house near the university, because she hated the crowded dormitory, especially the rampant mosquitoes in summer nights.Her skin is very sensitive. If she is bitten by a mosquito, large scars will appear immediately. If it is serious, she will need to take injections and medicine to completely heal.But since she knew that the boys from the School of Political Science and Law lived opposite the girls' dormitory of the Faculty of Arts, she moved into the dormitory from her uncle's house without hesitation.

When the twilight fell, she began to hug the guitar, sit down on the balcony, and sing the songs she wrote.She sang one by one, until the balcony opposite was full of boys. They reveled in her singing as if they had taken a bliss potion, and some even dared to shout "I love you!" to her. She just Playing and singing softly, completely ignoring their hysterical shouts.In the night, she is elegant, charming, and sad.What is sad, only she knows.On the balcony of the dormitory opposite, she played for so long, but she never saw him come out, even standing there for a moment.Through the slightly closed curtains, he could be seen walking back and forth non-stop, as if there was something accumulated in his heart, and only by walking in this way could he get rid of them little by little.

Of course she didn't know what kind of strong desire he had to rush out in the faint singing from her.How he wished that he could boldly stand on the balcony like those ordinary boys, shouting out the longing and tenderness in his heart.However, how could this be done by the president of the student union who is sought after by teachers and students?Moreover, this song is not just for me, is it?If he took the initiative to beg her, would she turn her head away arrogantly like the other boys?
He restrained himself like this, not listening to her singing, and letting her sing sadly every day, and what he didn't know was the rampant mosquito bites on her.But he clearly remembered all her class schedules and the study room she often went to.He would stay outside and wait for hours to see her come out, quickly hide in the shadows, and then walk with her for a while in the dark.Of course, they walked in tandem, pretending to be indifferent, and whistled happily, like a wild and unruly teenager.

He has held many singing competitions, each of which received rave reviews.But he was not happy, because in a game, if she is missing, what's the point?All his hard work is just for her.To him, the so-called honor and praise are just like air and can be ignored.

But she never participated.It's not disdain, but worry, will he underestimate her?A person who has repeatedly won awards in the province, even participates in such a small-scale event in the school, can't it be that his singing voice has declined?So he gave up again and again.But did not give up watching.I just quietly hid in a corner where the lights couldn't reach, watching him preside over the stage with ease.I saw him presenting awards to the winners and hugging them humorously.Every year the champion and runner-up are always girls.In his embrace, there will be a loud cry of excitement.One time the champion even gave him a loud kiss.She couldn't see the end, so she hurriedly escaped from the boiling crowd.

Like him, she is a campus celebrity who does not lack scandals.But it's all the same, every relationship ends without a problem.Everyone thinks that they are spoiled by love, so they are not very dedicated and serious.But only they know that their love for each other will never be destroyed by any kind of storm.They firmly believe that as long as the other party can step forward and say: Can you make me fall in love with you... then they will give up all vanity and pride, and devote themselves to this long-awaited love to go.

However, no one has taken such a difficult and easy step.Four years of college life, her body was scarred by mosquito bites; his heart was also entwined by her singing, almost suffocating.It was at the graduation meal that they were called together by each other's friends.I don't know who was drunk and yelled at her loudly: Wei Mei, if there is no such a prominent mountain as Chen Hao blocking the front, I think the love letters from all the boys in the school will overwhelm you!But, Chen Hao, why doesn't he go to the balcony to listen to your songs?Knowing that it was graduation, everyone made their own jokes unscrupulously, and they just laughed along with the roar of laughter.In this way until the end of the song, they walked away holding the message book.

It was not until we sat on the departing train that we turned to each other's last page of messages.It said on her: I loved you for four years, but only at this moment did I dare to face this unforgettable secret love. But, how can I find the time that was missed by pride again and again?And in his message book, there are only a few words: I came into this world to love you, and when you are gone, my love will never sing again...

What's the use of regretting?Dodging and missing again and again, thinking that the next time your partner will take the initiative to fall in love with you.But they all forget that the distance between love is only a few steps; two people, even if one of them wanders around for a while, love will miss them without hesitation.

And this miss is the love of a lifetime.

(End of this chapter)