just passing by you

Chapter 25 I want to stand with you and watch the scenery (1)

She and him are each other's first love.When love comes, it’s winter. On the train, neither of us has a seat. We squeeze in the doorway with the wind blowing in, watching the snowflakes flying outside.After driving for a while, a conductor came over and said that if you order a lunch for 40 yuan, you can get a free seat.A group of people who were crowded at the door gathered together in a clatter, scrambling to hand over the money in their hands.In just a moment, in the crowded and narrow corridor, only she and him were left.

She is a girl with low self-esteem. Although her grades have always been excellent, her bleak clothes and poor family background have never allowed her to bloom gracefully and calmly in front of everyone like a flower.Compared to other girls competing for beauty, she would rather be a grass in the corner in the spring without anyone paying attention, but she can still enjoy her own time in peace.Just like many people are crowded in the aisle, smoking, chatting, dazed, and reading newspapers, but she can think of some interesting things only related to herself in the midst of the noise, facing the snowflakes flying outside the window.People kept passing her by, splashing the hot water in the cup on her backpack, or stepping on her shoes, all of which she didn't notice.At that moment, what belonged to her was the pure world outside.As for the mess behind him, it all became an insignificant stain on the set.

But when the crowd dispersed, she felt that she suddenly became a flowering tree shivering in the cold wind, because it bloomed at an inappropriate time, which attracted the attention of outsiders.Of course, this is not what she wants, she would rather be wronged in the smog than such dazzling freedom.

When she was in the embarrassment of being glanced at and didn't know what to do, he said hello to her generously, then pointed out the window, and said with a smile that the snowflakes themselves didn't know how beautiful they were.She followed his gaze and looked out the window.Once again, she was attracted by the flying snowflakes.She just stood quietly in the aisle where people come and go, looking at the beautiful frost on the car window, the empty fields flashing by outside, the lonely growing trees, and the passers-by driving fast.Occasionally, she would turn her head to the side and listen attentively to a sentence or two he said, or talk about interesting things about her school.Such idle time, like a speeding train, throws all those unbearable pains on the cold rails.

They were in different small towns in the same province. When the bus arrived at the stop, he helped her remove the luggage from a high place, and held it high all the way through the crowd.She was behind, following all the way, watching his footprints, stepping on the snow, clear and powerful, her feet were embedded and could be completely wrapped.She followed his footsteps, and when he reached 120 steps, he finally stood still, turned around and handed her the bag, saying, I will take this bus back to school in a month, if I can buy the earliest bus in the morning, maybe We can stop "punishing the station".

Of course she understood that this was his tactful expression of love for her.She also clearly knew that her shy smile was already the clearest reply to his love.

They have taken many train rides together since then.They went to the same university to study for graduate school. During the holidays, he would use the money he saved from part-time work to buy two tickets for short trips to places that did not require tickets.Most of the time, it is a passer-by without a ticket, and the two of them cuddled together, standing in the aisle at the door, watching the fields full of mountain flowers outside the window, and gliding quickly.The spring breeze, carrying the fragrance of the journey, blows in through the crack of the door, blowing away all her worries about the future one by one.This is the spring that belongs to her and him. The barrenness of the land cannot hide the temperature of passionate love.

In the first year of their work, he took her to travel in a hard sleeper, then he saved more money, he bought her a soft sleeper, and then a train that greatly reduced the fatigue of the journey.And the honeymoon he promised her was to fly to the beautiful Guilin.In this way, he led the hidden self-abased her to the river bank with lush water and grass, and hoped that, like himself, she would no longer be unable to bloom safely in front of others because of material poverty.

Indeed, in the happiness he brought her, she leisurely confided the fragrance.All the things she was afraid of in the past have faded away one by one through his efforts.She can enjoy the comfort and leisure brought by money to the fullest, and can buy a train ticket on weekends at will, and arrive at the bustling shopping malls in Beijing two hours later.If she was happy, he only needed to work one overtime to earn her a plane ticket to Chengdu.His career was going smoothly, but she lost her way in this speed that was getting faster and faster like a train.

She herself didn't know when this loss started.She just started to be picky, picky about crowded restaurants, noisy shopping malls, cold bedrooms when the heating is off, unpalatable meals, congested buses, houses with peeling paint; and then she picks on his job for a long time without a raise , Picking at his fat body, even seeing his sleeping position on the sofa, will give birth to boredom.

Finally, one day, she frequently quarreled with him for extremely trivial reasons. In the end, even she herself felt that such quarrels were meaningless.

Before the two words of divorce were said to each other, he took her to the first small town he had been to when he was passionately in love.It was a lonely and unknown place in the north. The reason why he chose it when he was studying was because a classmate of his who lived in a small town couldn't refund the ticket because of something, so he transferred the ticket to him.It is this free ticket that brings them their first warm trip.Now, he took her there again, it was still a seatless ticket, and it was still a chaotic carriage, but she no longer had the fiery love of the past.

When the car was driving halfway, she started to argue with him, no matter what, she had to pay for the sleeper ticket.He insisted that the berths were sold out, but she insisted.When the quarrel between the two reached a stalemate, a girl who was sitting at the door suddenly got up, walked up to them, and said with a shy smile: "Go and sit in that seat."She was surprised and asked: What about you?The girl pursed her lips into a smile, pouted at a boy behind her and said: I want to stand with him and look at the scenery.

At that moment, she thought of those past times.She remembered that she used to be like a girl, if there was only one seat, she would rather stand and be with him she loved; she remembered that she had stood at the door like this, embracing him who she loved, watching the scenery outside the window; The exhaustion of the journey disappeared in the affectionate embrace of each other; thinking of his hard work all the way, just to find a place for her to enjoy the scenery leisurely, but she was in the long and peaceful life brought by him, He left all his good things in the increasingly comfortable journey.

It was this long and boundless exhausting journey that allowed her to pick up those soft moments of love that were indifferently discarded on the railroad track, inch by inch.

Accompany you to visit the streets of I.

Before my father remarried, he was very happy to accompany me to go shopping. The two of us often bought a bag of popcorn and chatted while eating.Of course, they are all girls' fashion stores.As soon as I put the things I bought into his arms, I got into the fitting room and refused to come out. My father sat at the door of the store and watched me wandering through one piece of clothing, with a greedy green light in his eyes. , Then he will laugh alone.When I hold a lot of clothes and stand in front of him, he will always take out his wallet in a gentlemanly manner and shout: Miss, pay the bill!
It was a very happy time, and my father graciously satisfied my desire for clothes with his small money.He also used his unique aesthetic vision to be my military adviser during the blind date. Unfortunately, before I found a good husband, he couldn't bear the loneliness and announced that he was going to remarry without discussing it with me.

When I received the invitation from my father Dahong, I was not at all happy.Even before that, I hoped so much that he could find a wife to get rid of his loneliness and stop going shopping with me.I think my father's attachment to me was replaced by another woman so quickly.

I quickly moved all my things to the dormitory without even leaving a photo. The newlywed father was immersed in joy and didn't notice my abnormality. As usual, he called me on weekends and urged me to go home with him. Shopping spree, but I couldn't save face, so I had to go back to have a symbolic meal, and then I went back to the dormitory alone when I was on the way, and compared myself with another woman in front of the mirror. I didn't adapt, and I couldn't adapt.

(End of this chapter)