just passing by you

Chapter 37 Secret love and acne stay together gently (1)

I was 16 years old that year, a shy girl.When I was at the same table with boys, when they tilted their heads and asked me questions, they would suddenly forget the answers to the questions because they could smell the body of the opposite sex.Also, when the male teacher leaned over and asked me gently how I lost the test, he would burst into tears because of panic.As for the boy he secretly liked, he didn't even dare to say anything, he just pretended to be nonchalant and glanced at him lightly, the tension in his heart was enough to make him dizzy.Those boys who are as green and strong as Hsinchu, just like this, swing the girl's peaceful heart lake round and round.

Youth is mixed with love and inferiority complex, and it comes too late.My unbeautiful face has not yet opened up a pure smile, and the embarrassing acne can't wait to wrinkle my facial features.It was such an embarrassing time. When I woke up every day, I hardly dared to look in the mirror, and even walked through the gray window, and accidentally caught a glimpse of the blurred face inside. My heart would ache, and I would walk away sadly.Every time I see other girls' smooth and warm skin like peeling eggs, and such a bright and beautiful smile, the pain in my heart becomes more severe.I prayed to God over and over again in the diary, can you make me darker, so that those dark red pimples can't be seen clearly?Can I let my youth disappear quickly, so that no one will remember the scars on my face?Can I completely erase this horrible memory from the heart of the boy I like, so that I can be as fragrant as a pure white flower in his memory?The result of this kind of prayer is of course despair. My skin is still white enough to see every pimple clearly; the days of youth are still endlessly long, I walk fast, but 16 years old, but only halfway through; and the boy with bright eyes and indifferent expression is still sitting in front of me, and every time he turns back to hand in his homework, he will see the pimples on my face that I want to avoid in a panic.What a hopeless and sad girl I was at that time.

That boy is Xie.When I got the first pimple, I suddenly realized sadly that my love for Xie was like a vine, spreading wildly in the bottom of my heart, and it would firmly bind the whole sensitive and fragile heart. Wrapped tightly, until the end, I didn't even have room to breathe.

I could only stare at Xie's thin back in class, blushing for a while.His hair is thick and lush. Every time I come back from physical education class and see the sweat on it, I will subconsciously want to take out a handkerchief and wipe it for him; but every time, I just hold it in my hands, and my fingers hurt. , Breathing is also suffocation.Many girls like Xie, but they express their love for him so warmly and clearly. When he plays football, they will shout his name and cheer for him; when they see him coming, they will laugh. Smiling and saying Xie, you are so handsome today; they will also copy his poems on the title page of the textbook in a very flamboyant manner; nothing can stop their clear love for Xie.But I, whose face was ruined by one after another of small pimples, didn't even dare to raise my head in front of him.But fortunately, he sat in front of me, and I could smile so tenderly to see him writing meticulously, reading with emotion, and nodding his head cutely when he dozed off.Everything about him, like a movie I watched backwards when I was a child, slowly unfolded in front of me in the form of the reverse; however, this has already made me happy and grateful enough.

He seldom spoke to me, and when he turned around to hand in his homework, he was silent; he always quickly put the homework in front of me, then turned around and went to do his own thing.I can always accurately calculate the time when he is going to turn around, and then quickly lower my head, and only when I hear his breathing is far away, I dare to look up and look at his homework, whether it is lying quietly on my bed like before before.But there was still one time, when he lifted it up too early, his gaze just happened to fall on my face.The two were silent for a moment in embarrassment, and he suddenly blushed and whispered: My cousin uses Shanlana acne cream, which is very effective. You can also buy a bottle and try it.At that time, a lot of magazines were advertising Shanlana, but because of the high price and the cash-strapped me, I had no choice but to give up after collecting all the information on them.But it never occurred to her that the name that she tried to escape from her life was actually uttered by Zixie!I pay attention to everything that loves him, but he, so ridiculously, only remembers the pimples on my face.And I, how persistent I was, wanted him to ignore everything related to acne!

But I still maintained my pride and dignity with a cold "thank you".It's just that after that, my eyes never stayed on Xie's body.The secret love that was once so hot, just like this, came to an abrupt end because of a word of concern that knocked my self-esteem down to the lowest point.

A few years later, I went to university, and the pimples on my face gradually decreased; the inferiority complex I had when I was young also gradually disappeared, until it turned into nothingness.Even when a pimple appears inadvertently on the forehead, you can still smile gently in front of the boy you like, without any timidity.When Xie was about to forget, one day in a magazine, I saw his article, saying that when I was studying, I once liked a girl, I liked her beauty and intelligence, I liked her soft long hair, I liked her Her fair face, even the pimples on her face, felt beautiful; but at that time, I was so humble that I didn't dare to say a word in front of her.Later, when he was handing in his homework, he met her eyes inadvertently. At that moment, he didn't know what to say, and he said something that he regretted for the rest of his life.He said: My cousin uses Shanlana acne cream, which is very effective. You can also buy a bottle and try it.However, how much he wanted her to know that he had lied. He knew that she had been paying attention to everything related to acne. she.Even if she refuses, he will tell her that those pimples are actually so cute, and he likes them.However, she was so stubborn that she persisted in her misunderstanding of him until graduation.

Another version of the story turned out to be like this.Xie, whom I had been secretly in love with for so long, turned out to have been secretly liking me too.It's just that the scars of acne can be removed, but our youthful and pure time will never come again.

But, fortunately, that period of low self-esteem that grew up secretly in the bottom of my heart grew day by day, and finally, like acne, in a peaceful and diluted state of mind, it stayed tenderly in our memory and never moved forward.

Waiting for the secret flower to bloom.

When she saw him across the small counter in the noisy school cafeteria, she immediately lost her voice.

At that time, she had just graduated from high school, and her parents had no money for her to repeat her studies. Without saying a word, she packed her luggage and came to Beijing with a relative who was a cook.Every day, she would stand behind the counter and do the same job: serve vegetables, cook rice, serve soup, and collect money.But she has never been tired of it. It is a kind of happiness for her to be able to stand in her favorite university, look at those luckier people than herself through the counter, and walk back and forth in front of her.And being able to catch a glimpse of a book in their hands, even if she only saw the cover, layers of waves would stir up in her heart, and they hit the shore of her heart time and time again, making her in a hustle and bustle, But I always feel that I am a bird with strong wings and can fly with dreams like them.

And when she had him in her dream, the sky above her head became clearer and clearer.

She still remembered the moment when he walked up to her counter, knocked on the glass window, pointed to the one-yuan potato shreds, and handed over the money.She took the one-yuan coin with his body temperature, and glanced at his gentle face in panic.This was the first time she met a boy she liked. It felt like a flower in the wilderness. In the cold wind, it was suddenly warmed by a pair of hands for a moment, and it bloomed in joy.She also knew that such a bloom was inappropriate, and those hands just touched her by accident.However, all love comes so unexpectedly, right?She only knew that at that moment, not only did she blush and her heart beat, she didn't dare to look at him, she even served him three taels of rice, but forgot to tell him that if you only buy one yuan dish, you can't give any rice as a gift.

In fact, he is a very ordinary boy. He often wears a school uniform and a pair of white sneakers, but whenever he sees him, he is always clean, like a cloud in the sky. Floating there carelessly, but don't know how pure such an existence is.Although she can guess from the vegetables he buys every time, he is from a remote mountainous area, and his parents don't have much money, so he can pay more attention to food and clothing, but she stubbornly admires his This simplicity, quiet.She will never like the kind of boys who are dressed in avant-garde clothes but speak dirty words. Even when they lose their temper at her impolitely and think that she is slow in cooking, she will subconsciously give them less.And he, like them, may never have noticed what clothes she was wearing or what hair accessories she was wearing, but there was always a warmth hidden in his eyes.

(End of this chapter)