Summer is not late, good day is good

Chapter 172

Piggy, I'm sorry.

I am not good enough, I am not perfect enough, I am not persistent enough.

……

During the five years you left, I was like the blind man who couldn't see the world, living in the memory of you.To me, the world is a black and white that can be seen but cannot be touched. I don’t know which one of the women who rush past me every day is you. I don’t even know what you look like. I should draw a picture With what kind of face to find you in memory.

All I remember is your voice.

However, this is too illusory. In the past five years, I have been thinking about it every day, thinking about every song you have sung and every word you have said. I am really afraid. Lost memories will also be washed away by time.

……

Occasionally, I heard a singer from Jiangsu and Zhejiang singing, it was a Jiangnan tune you sang, my heart suddenly jumped out of my chest, and I ran to listen like a madman, and it turned out that it was not you , I know it's not...

Although I don't know what you look like, I can tell at a glance that that's not the person I'm looking for...

I close my eyes, her singing is still the same, but in front of my eyes, there is the image of you in my imagination, blurred and ethereal, I can't see clearly, I can't catch it, but, in this familiar tune, I feel I clearly feel your existence, you still exist deep in my heart, and will not be taken away by time...

I don't know if it's because I'm afraid I'll forget it, or...I miss you so much that I gradually developed this addiction—listening to girls from Jiangnan.

Those rumors are not groundless. In the company's annual competition, the female singers in Jiangnan will attract my attention. Under relatively fair principles, I will focus on listening to their singing, and even get along with them alone.Listen to them talk, listen to them sing, listen to their voices, I will imagine them as you, as if they are you, laugh in front of me, sing in front of me...

However, I will soon wake up. They are not you. After listening to it a few times, I will get tired of it, and I will hate the girl in front of me who is not you but singing the same song as you. Then, I will expel them mercilessly...

After waking up, I will be in more pain. This kind of pain, like drug addiction, gradually penetrates into the bone marrow. Only you can completely save me. If you are poppy and methamphetamine, then I am suffering from poison and cannot find poppy and methamphetamine. When it’s time, I’ll find Du Lengding instead—continue to get new girls to listen to her singing, listening to her speak Jiangnan-style Mandarin...

Xiaochen is also one of them.

I hadn’t met you again at that time, it was the company’s audition time, I was passing by habitually, and I heard a girl singing "What a Jasmine", and your voice, your charm is very similar, it can be said that I listened most similar.

Immediately, I saw her.As soon as I saw it, I immediately knew it wasn't you, and I was extremely disappointed, but I still used her as Dulantin a few times.No, it should be said that it was the most frequent meeting, because her voice is too similar to yours.

I know very well that most of the girls who have sung to me have a crush on me, but not everyone dares to express it. After all, my sense of distance is obvious, but Xiaochen is an exception. She dared to say it.

It was about the fifth time we met, I had already acted very indifferent, and I would probably never see her again in the future, and she was also very good at observing words and expressions, maybe knowing that there was no hope, she even said something when she left, her name is Xia Xiaochen, very happy like me.

Yes, I never knew the names of these girls, and I didn't care, I only knew the competition numbers on their clothes, and Shalin usually asked Shalin to bring out the numbers.What's the point of remembering their names if it's not you?

She left after speaking, but this time, the surname "Xia" made me unable to calm down.She is the one with the most similar voice to yours, and her surname is Xia. Could it be related to you?I didn't want to let go of any clues, so I went to the conservatory the next day, trying to find her detailed file, but I ran into you at the gate of the conservatory.

Later, when I found out that Xiaochen was your sister, I felt guilty after all. I didn’t dare to tell you this part. She bought a house, firstly because she felt a little guilty, and secondly, she did tell her that you are my lover and I take care of her like a younger sister.However, I dare not tell you, because I am afraid that you will misunderstand...

It’s just that Xiaochen didn’t seem to give up. After the fire broke out, she came to the hospital several times to see me in the name of seeing you. One night you sent me a message and called me, but I didn’t reply because she was pestering me , After getting her away, I didn't come back because it was too late to disturb your rest, and I knew that you were unhappy that time, but I didn't dare to tell you the truth...

This is the whole story, if I could see it at the beginning, I would not let you go away from me; if I could see it at the beginning, the you in my memory would not be a blur, and I have nowhere to look; When I could see it back then, I wouldn't be left with only your voice to accompany me, making me so afraid of losing...

Of course, I know, these are just excuses.The so-called longing for illness is an excuse, and love is like taking drugs is also an excuse for myself. Everything is my fault. It is because I am not firm enough that I have provoked so many girls and so many things.The only thing I am glad is that I am not wrong to the end, my body and spirit are still loyal to you, whether you will forgive me or not, I will never give up on you, never...

……

The content of the letter was far more than that, and it was eloquent for several pages. Her memory skipped section by section, and these sentences were exceptionally clear.

Listening to him begging her to forgive in her ears, she didn't know what to forgive him. As she said, she really didn't blame him.

These days, she has been thinking day and night, and she has thought clearly rationally. After saying goodbye five years ago, she never expected that he would remember her for the rest of her life, and she never thought that she would meet him again. Has the right to fall in love with any woman.Even what he said was that he provoked other girls first, Xiaochen first, and she had no reason to blame him. As far as what was said in this letter, first, he never said anything to any girl. It is very rare to say the words that should not be done, and not do a single thing that should not be done; secondly, so many girls, after all, only Xiaochen stepped into this vortex, sinking deeper and deeper, knowing that it is impossible, But he still doesn't know how to look back; third, it is his freedom and power to provoke anyone...

She shook her head, "No, you are not wrong, you don't need my forgiveness...I don't blame you..."

"No! You're blaming me! I can feel it! Your attitude is blaming me! Otherwise you wouldn't ignore me! You can hit me and scold me, but you can't ignore me!" He hugged her tightly , for fear that she would leave.

"Chen'an, let go first, I can't breathe..." She really couldn't bear such a hug, he was so hard that she was about to suffocate.

"Promise me first, you won't leave!" He asked like a child, but he loosened his arms because he was afraid of hurting her, but he refused to let go completely.

She couldn't remember how many times he had asked her not to leave in such a childlike way, and what kind of evil fate was this, with the constant cutting and messing up?

"Chen'an, is this letter all about it?" She had a vague feeling that if Xiaochen mentioned it, he would take her to the sea to see the grasslands. Under normal circumstances, he would not casually tell anyone. , why did Xiaochen know?

Zuo Chenan's body froze slightly.

"Chen'an, you can't lie to me..." She couldn't help but grabbed his shirt, her weak fingers were conveying a message to him, there was no room for another grain of sand between them...

After a short hesitation, he was a little timid, "I'm sorry, little pig, there was one more time... before I met you, I was really sick. Going back to the company outside, I managed to get out of the elevator. I felt dizzy as soon as I got out. I didn’t hold on to the wall. It was the woman who came in front who helped me. She was Xiaochen... She helped me into the lounge in the office , maybe give me medicine too, I fell asleep soon and dreamed of you again, I said a lot to you in my dream, then I heard someone singing, it seemed like you were singing, I was fascinated Waking up in a daze, I saw a woman sitting next to me. I hugged her impulsively. I couldn’t tell whether it was a dream or reality. I remembered calling Xiaozhu and saying...I miss you...and I love you...but...that smell is wrong...not your smell, I'm sober right away...really! Totally sober! I just let her go! Absolutely nothing else!"

Xia Wanlu didn't speak.Reason is still telling myself, don't blame him, it's not his fault...

"Little pig, I know I was wrong! Don't sentence me to death! Don't! I made it clear to Xiaochen later, it was really clear!" He was very scared. He had never been so scared before. He hugged her tightly again.

(End of this chapter)