sleepless tonight

Chapter 204 Raw Rice Cooked Rice
"I'm sorry, I don't know, I thought you just treated me as an ordinary friend, I thought you didn't like me." I was really guilty, "You are so beautiful, you can receive love letters almost every day, I feel very sorry for you There's pressure, I can't believe you like me."

Back in high school, Tang Wan could be called the school belle. I was very content to be able to chat with her, eat in the cafeteria, and go for a walk. I didn't dare to expect Tang Wan's love at all. The reason why he wanted to hold her hand because of the opportunity, but did not dare to confess directly.

I wanted to test Logan's attitude by holding hands, but I didn't expect to screw it up.

Facing Logan, I feel ashamed, because of my mistake, we missed each other.

This mistake is eight years.

"A normal friend, will I stick to you all the time? Will I get out of school with you, eat together, take a walk at night, or even stay up all night with you?" Logan asked me back.

I fell silent, not knowing how to face Logan, and the guilt in my heart deepened a bit.

Tang Wan suddenly took off her pajamas, her face was a little red: "Chen Jin, I've already made up my mind, I don't want to miss it again, I don't want to suffer alone, I like you, I give up the opportunity to study abroad, Just to come back and take a look, I am very glad that I am back, after waiting for eight years, I did not miss it again, I will give you everything tonight."

"No." I was in pain, "I can't want you, I can't do that to you."

"Why? Are you worried that my body is not clean?" Tang Wan asked me, "My body is clean and perfect. I didn't have a boyfriend in college, and I didn't even have a kiss. I kept it all the time. Give it to you completely."

"Not this, the more complete your body is, the less I can do that to you." I said, "I can't give you happiness."

"I don't want to be rich, as long as you are by my side is enough." Logan said, her request is not high, "What's more, I believe you have the ability to make life better, you are very smart."

My expression was still very tangled, and I didn't touch Logan.

"You no longer have me in your heart?" Logan asked me.

I shook my head, I am sure I have Logan in my heart.

"Then why don't you want me? You can't let go of Tong Wangjun, or Su Ran? Do you think that if you do something like that with me, you will be sorry for them?" Tang Wan asked me again.

She guessed everything, Logan is too smart, I don't know if this is a woman's characteristic, or only Logan is like this.I do have such worries, but it's not just about this, there's also the fact that I can't give Logan the responsibility I deserve. I don't want what happened between me and Tong Wangjun to happen to Logan and me again.

"You and Tong Wangjun are already divorced. You and Su Ran have only known each other for a few months. I was the one who met you first. Why is Su Ran more important than me in your heart?" Tang Wan was not convinced.

"Put on your clothes." I told her, and I didn't know how to answer Logan.

Some things are really hard to say, and I don’t know how to explain them. What I can do is try not to let everyone down, and try to reduce my sins as much as possible.

Some past regrets between me and Logan cannot be made up, but now I can control myself not to do things that hurt her.

But soon, I found out that I was wrong.

I thought Logan would put on her clothes and go to the other bed, but she didn't. Logan was silent for a while, then suddenly she came over and hugged me.

"I don't want to miss you anymore. I was the one who met you first, and I can't wait that long anymore." Logan moved jerkyly, groping wildly.

I had a reaction immediately, when I was thinking about what to do next, whether to push Logan away, Logan suddenly sat down, she let out a soft cry, and I also felt an unprecedented tightness.

The wood is done.

It is impossible for me to back down anymore, because that is meaningless, Logan took the initiative to make a choice for me, or the mentality of breaking the can, I got what I wanted, and the thing I thought about countless times in high school became a reality.

I exerted every strength in my body, and Tang Wan was also venting the pain and grievances that had been suppressed in my heart for these years. When we stopped, the bed was already a mess, with traces everywhere.

Sweat stains covered me and Logan's whole body.

"Is it possible to get pregnant during the ovulation period?" Logan's face was flushed, and she hugged me, panting with a simple sentence.

"It's possible." I nodded, putting my hands on Logan's back, "When was your last menstruation?"

"Fifteen days ago." Logan remembered clearly, "I should be ovulating now."

I was a little flustered, and my hands were a little stiff.

"Why, are you scared?" Logan felt my change and asked me.

I was indeed a little worried, worried that Logan would get pregnant: "Why don't I buy contraceptives later?"

"Don't you want a child?" Logan looked at me expressionlessly, and my words irritated her.

"We're not married yet, it's not good if we have children." I said, this reason, I myself feel a bit far-fetched.

"Then let's go get the certificate, and we can go tomorrow." Logan told me, looking up at me.

Her eyes were full of anticipation and tenderness towards me.

I don't doubt her words at all. If I agree, Logan will definitely go with me to get the certificate.

But I don't know why, but I just can't agree.

Looking at Logan, my lips squirmed several times, but in the end I couldn't respond.

I kept thinking in my mind, if I agreed to Tang Wan, what would Tong Wang-jun and Su Ran do? After Tang Wan and I got the certificate, could I really let go of Tong Wang-jun and Su Ran, and live a two-person world with Tang Wan with peace of mind?
It seems impossible, my heart is repelling.

Tong Wangjun and Su Ran also took root in my heart.

I hesitated, confused, and felt guilty. It seemed that I had left several women in my heart.

I know it's wrong, but I can't control myself, my heart is mine, and it's completely out of my control to see what it thinks.

"You don't want to get a certificate with me, and you don't want to marry me?" My hesitation drew Tang Wan's questioning.

"I'll go buy medicine for you." When I said this, I felt uncomfortable. I felt like a liar, defrauding Logan of the most precious things, the things she had kept for eight years.

Her heart must be broken.

I'm such a scum, I scolded myself in my heart, I didn't dare to look into Logan's eyes.

"Do you love me?" Logan suddenly asked me.

"Love." I nodded positively.

"Then do you also love Tong Wangjun and Su Ran?" Tang Wan asked.

I nodded: "I'm sorry, I know this is wrong, but I can't control myself, and I hate myself like this, I admit, I'm just a scumbag, I'm sorry, Logan, I don't want to be like this either, but... "

Before I could say anything later, Logan interrupted me directly.

"I will give birth to this child." Tong Wangjun said, she was very determined, looking at me with firm eyes, I saw her determination, she would indeed do as she said.

"Why? After the baby is born, how do you take care of it? What will others think of you? You got pregnant before marriage, can you bear the accusations of others?" I asked Logan, I was really worried for her, and at the same time, my guilt deepened a bit.

I will not let such a thing happen, if Logan really gave birth to a child, I definitely cannot stand by.

"I don't care what others think of me, as long as the child in my womb is yours, it's fine if you are willing to admit him." Logan's words were naive.

"It's really not good for you." I was still trying to persuade her.

I suddenly felt the pressure. The pressure came from Logan. I regretted it a little. I shouldn’t have let Logan into the house before. Now this kind of thing happened because of my indulgence. The odds should be high.

I suddenly had a thought, Tang Wan suddenly became so active, could it be that she wanted to cook the raw rice and force me to make a decision?
"Even if you go to buy contraceptives now, it's useless." Tang Wan suddenly told me, with a hint of cunning in her eyes.

"Why?" I was puzzled, Logan's eyes made me a little uncomfortable, and I felt like I had become Logan's prey.

(End of this chapter)