Farmer's Manor Fish and Rice Fragrance

Chapter 120
Qianxi couldn't help frowning when she heard that, according to Chiren, did she think Qiongxue was suffering from depression?Or insane?So her suicide can also be explained?

"That day..." Chi Ren half-closed his eyes, holding back the painful memories, "We played on the mountain for a long time, and then we sat on the hillside watching the sunset together, and she asked me if I liked her, would I really love her?" Elope with her, I said, no. Because after one elopement, I know all the difficulties I will face, I have no confidence to give her happiness, and the two families will be pointed out by the tribe because of our escape, I am afraid they will never be able to lift At the beginning. She didn’t say anything. I think she was disappointed in me. She felt that I had no courage to resist the family rules, and I was a coward. I advised her, don’t get into the horns. There will be no result between me and her. I told her , I am looking for a better family, one or two brothers, and a good-looking family. After listening to her, she didn't react violently, but just listened blankly. Now that I think about it, she probably didn't listen to it at all, because she didn't listen to me. , is already desperate for life. She once said that she couldn't think of going to a strange home and living with a strange man. She said she was very scared, and she would be very desperate when she thought that the other party was not me. Such thoughts were in her mind Think about it once, and she will suffocate once."

Qianxi understood a little bit, "Maybe it's because you were too kind to her since she was a child. She is used to you being around and knows that you are not her real brother, so she developed a relationship between a man and a woman. She is afraid of facing strange things, and she can't bear you for so many years. Feelings."

"I don't know whether to say she is weak or strong, she dared to die!" Chiren said, lowering his head, inserting his fingers into his hair, twisting his face, struggling in pain, and continued with sobs: "She said Want to eat wild fruit, let me pick it, I was very happy, just left her side like that, when I came back, I found her leaning against the tree trunk, as if asleep, so I called her, she said a few times , she shouldn't... I panicked, and then I saw a pill in her hand, and I knew..."

Qianxi silently patted his back to comfort his heart in pain.She believed that apart from family affection, Chiren liked Qiongxue somewhat, but he rationally knew that it was impossible for them, so he never let it germinate.

"Chiren, don't be sad. I think this is a kind of relief for her. She can choose to leave peacefully like this. She herself is not in pain. Don't blame yourself too much. From you Judging from the situation, I think Qiongxue's spirit is not very good, it must not be because of you..."

Chi Ren raised his head abruptly, with tears in his eyes, "What did you say?"

I don’t know if the people here believe the mental illness or not, Qianxi sighed lightly, and said: “I know that there is a kind of illness, like Qiongxue, who always thinks pessimistically, so she will be like a silkworm cocooning herself. When I saw Qiongxue for the first time, her...feelings for you made me feel very strange. I think she may also have a strange disease, so I can't think about it. "

Chiren looked at her eyes and opened them again, then smiled shyly, "You are trying to comfort me, and let me reduce the psychological burden."

"I didn't lie to you. I used to see this kind of disease very often. A person who is under too much pressure and whose heart is too delicate and sensitive may get this kind of disease. Qiongxue is very persistent in thinking that only you are the best, she I can only accept you, so she will repeatedly imagine that she will suffer in her husband's house in the future, and the more she thinks about it, the more afraid she will be..." This is naturally just her imagination, as long as it can help Chi Ren stop being depressed, she will I don't think Qiongxue will blame her.

"Really? Even so, it's because of me, right? I can't escape the blame." Chiren murmured, his eyes blank.

"If you think like this again and blame yourself, you will also get this disease." Qianxi became serious, and patted him on the shoulder, "Chiren, be strong, you are a grassland man, You are not a coquettish young master. Now that you are in this situation, you have to face it bravely. Only by learning from the lessons can you no longer have any regrets in your future life. Only by living well can you be worthy of Qiongxue."

Chi Ren looked at her in a daze, as if looking at her face, and as if he was wandering. Then, he sighed and smiled wryly, "Do I have a future?"

Qianxi couldn't help being a little annoyed, "With Qiongxue gone, you have no future, right?"

Chiren looked at her, then looked away, and said with a strange expression: "Don't you think it's inappropriate for you to persuade me in your capacity?"

Qianxi was startled, and suddenly felt a little embarrassed, "That... I mean, you can meet someone you really like in the future and have a new start."

"No more." He said decisively, turned around, and then stopped.

Qianxi realized that something was wrong with him, and quickly turned her head. It was Ningshi standing there, five meters away.Now, he seldom wears a monk's robe, but wears an ivory white coarse cotton robe. Although the material is not good, it still complements him with elegance and refinement, nobility and flawlessness.

"Ningshi? Why are you here?" Qianxi hugged the wooden basin vigorously and smiled dryly.

Ning Shi had a calm expression on his face, he only took a light step and said, "I see you haven't come back to do laundry for a long time, come and have a look."

Chi Ren also walked forward, and when the two approached, he suddenly said: "Brother is so courteous, you think you can get something."

Ningshi didn't expect Chiren to attack him suddenly, she was stunned for a while, and then said in a calm and profound way: "I only do what I want to do, and never think of repaying it."

Chiren looked at him, then glanced back at Qianxi, and left.

Qianxi hurried forward, and Ningshi took the wooden basin from her hand without waiting for her to speak, "Let me do it."

Qianxi seemed to suddenly understand the meaning of Chiren's words, and she withdrew awkwardly, "Let me do it, Ningshi. From now on, you can concentrate on reading Buddhist scriptures and stop doing these mundane things."

Ningshi smiled indifferently, and said, "Don't pay attention to Chiren's words, he is in a bad mood."

"I'm not..." Qianxi bit her lip, not knowing what to say, "Ningshi, you are Luo Buddha, you are an eminent monk, don't get too vulgar. I can do the housework by myself."

Zongshi looked at her lightly.

Qianxi staggered away, hugged the tub tightly, said, "Go home." and strode back.

Ningshi stood there, staring at her back in a daze for a while, he didn't understand, he just wanted to help her, just cherish her, is that wrong?Why did she refuse?

There are few people in the family, and the atmosphere is low. Qianxi is so busy every day that she has no time to think about it. She just wants to maintain the order of the house before Basang comes back, so that no one will have anything to do.So she tried her best to get together with Chiren, and alienated Ningshi normally.

On this day, after cleaning the cowshed, Qianxi took a bottle of hot water and went to the field.Chi Ren is working too hard now, she has to let him take it easy.Truly turning grief into strength.

(End of this chapter)