Honkai Impact 3rd, a simulator of lifelong regret!

If even this emotion cannot be preserved, if one cannot cherish the feelings of a girl who loves him so much, then such a person should die first and be thrown into hell; he doesn't deserve to live in this world.

The boy gently pressed his fingertip against the girl's lips, half-blinking his right eye in a cute manner, his slight smile revealing an absolute refusal to tolerate it.

"Come on, Mei-chan."

"I'd be happy to let you go first, okay?"

……

Compared to the so-called male chauvinism and male dignity in the universal sense, Mei's emotions are definitely more important.

It does have a satisfying feeling of slacking off and doing nothing, to lie around while others work hard and put in all their effort to create a sense of accomplishment.

In a sense, the boy has already been sexually exploited many times, and the long period of being a kept man has made his lower limit of dignity adaptive. These days, there are even perverts who lick people's feet or like the smell of other people's feet. It's not so strange that he likes to be passive.

Anyway, these women are all extremely heavy-hearted, even more terrifying than black holes. If they really take the initiative, they'll probably become the heavy-hearted type.

They would absolutely not hesitate to risk physical harm to pursue their hobbies, even if it's just a possibility.

Although the boy's fantasies gradually went astray during his time with Wilvie, and he occasionally engaged in some unusual play, he had already reached a point where he was clearly a pervert no matter how you looked at it.

My desire not to hurt my loved ones, and not to let them gain anything by hurting me, has never changed.

One's actions and happiness should not be obtained at the expense of loved ones; feelings of indebtedness and guilt can truly drive a person to the brink of despair.

Although this undisguised favoritism and direct bias might, in a sense, be described as a different kind of yandere or gravity user.

……

Her thin, rosy lips hinted at a tragic fate, and her fair skin turned pale from the dull pain, like a white wall painted with red paint.

The girl didn't stop, or even slow down; she just kept going, as if torturing herself, to prove something—to the boy, to herself, and to the world.

Whether it's one's own purity, one's own worthiness of the other person's praise, one's own worthiness of love, or one's own attainment of love... these are all ritualistic acts, like the prayers of a shrine maiden.

The sincerity shown to the boy earlier should have been revealed at this time; physical contact is what gives him more confidence and self-assurance.

It doesn't matter.

It really doesn't matter.

Because of all this time, the words hidden in the girl's heart, the words she longed to tell others one day, have become so numerous that they are almost endless.

Her slender arms embraced the boy's neck, as if trying to merge into him, and even when they pressed down on his hair, they didn't stop. Her hands were crossed behind her back, and she held his elbows tightly, locking him close to her. Only now did Raiden Mei dare to continue to express her feelings.

“There is something I’m very, very afraid of: that no one really likes me. The only people I do like are just politely tolerating my offenses because my father’s wealth and power frighten them, so they hope I won’t bother or hurt them.”

"Just like if you ignore me even once, like you did last night, I will automatically assume that I have annoyed you and force myself into a state of absolutely not speaking unless disturbed."

“Sometimes I feel okay, I can still tolerate it, but the next moment I always start to doubt myself, wondering if I am not suitable for building relationships with people. If I am not that bad, why don’t I have even one…one person?”

"I am really terrible. I have neither self nor courage. I can only rely on others and beg for their help. If I were alone, I probably wouldn't even have the courage to move forward."

“I’m really scared, and I’m still scared now. I’m afraid you’ll leave me. Even if I know you won’t, I’m still scared.”

"Or rather, especially now, precisely because it is now, I can't find any reason why I'm qualified to stay by your side... not even a little bit."

……

Rarely, when faced with the emotions of others, all the boy could do was remain silent. He could neither refute them with his most proficient language nor resolve them with his experience. The psychology he had learned from this first simulation was gently sealed away.

It's not just that there's no space to speak, nor can one resist the physical and gentle actions; more importantly, past conversations with Vilvi have taught me that speaking now would be considered impolite.

This is the fear built up over a long period of time, the dampness brought by countless nights, and the sadness of lying alone on a bed that is no longer delicate and soft.

Although the symptoms were milder than those of Viviervi, suffering itself cannot be used as a source of comparison; pain itself should never be debated or compared.

The biggest problem has been solved, just like when I had already arrived at the Spiral Workshop.

There may be some minor troubles, but they are ultimately just troubles.

Unless he's incredibly stupid and keeps dragging things out, or does something really outrageous, the girl will tolerate and accept being a bad guy, even if it means hurting the girl he absolutely doesn't want to hurt again.

No, that's not allowed.

I do not accept it, I do not acknowledge it.

The mere thought that someone who loves me so much, someone who loves me so sincerely, could be hurt... even if it's just a fantasy, makes me furious.

Others can't do it, and I certainly can't. Even in a simulated revival match, I would never do such a thing after losing all emotion.

I am such an indecisive and hypocritical person, an ordinary person who is neither extreme in good nor evil, neither outstanding nor bad, and I neither can nor want to do it.

Since there's no hidden danger, there's no need to think about too many unnecessary things. It's not like it's the first time I've saved a girl with low self-esteem. Even if you include the time I failed, I have at least two experiences, one success and one failure, which is more than most people in the world.

Even if you know you won't be abandoned, you still feel fear inside. It's because of countless past experiences of being abandoned that your thinking becomes homogenized, and you increasingly believe in your heart that you will definitely be abandoned.

Let love transform all the alienated, polluted, and distorted places, places that have become self-conscious because of the harm done to them, and places that believe they will only be abandoned because they have been abandoned.

No need to worry.

There is no need to be afraid.

Giving Raiden Mei room to confide in you, allowing her to express her emotions verbally, and listening attentively is more effective than any rebuttal.

It is impolite to deny or stop someone before they have finished speaking, unless absolutely necessary.

The boy simply hugged the self-conscious girl even tighter, relinquishing his right to take the initiative and becoming a perfect listener and bearer of responsibility.

The gentle breaths touched her earlobes, making even this sensitive organ blush slightly. The girl and boy leaned down and embraced tightly. The delicate breath unique to women stirred their heartstrings, invigorating their spirits and transforming it into strength that flowed into their bodies.

The potential of a pure Herrscher body is such that, with enough training, reaching the highest level of Valkyrie is practically effortless. After absorbing a portion of the authority, it undergoes a complete transformation.

Perhaps it's not as good as the Herrscher of Thunder, who is already in her complete form and has been strengthened by the Honkai Will. In the case of both being virgins, the boy would have a greater advantage.

Even knowing that her actions would only increase the boy's attack speed and make it even harder for her, who was only doing it for the first time, the girl never stopped.

"So please use me, use me without mercy, just like in those comics, make me unable to continue to feel fear and dread."

"All the girls I've seen, no matter how strong they are, make the peace sign with both hands. So make me like that too, fill me up."

……

They remained silent and continued.

Raiden Mei, without anyone noticing, gently bit her soft lower lip with her pearly white teeth, her eyes seeming to have seen something and becoming somewhat silent.

She slightly rose, withdrawing her softness and size, leaving enough room for the boy to speak, at least enough for his mouth to open and breathe.

"Jiang Chengjun, can you tell me about your ex-lover?"

……

Is she still fixated on my past?

Even so, are you still worried?

Rather, it would be strange if this solved the problem once and for all, and that Raiden Mei would no longer have any doubts about it.

Learning to express one's doubts and to ask questions that are hidden in one's heart is already a significant step forward.

……

"If you really want to know... there's really no need to hide it. They're all people from the past, people I'll never see again."

"What I'm about to say might be a bit abstract. Try your best to understand it. The story might be a bit long, even though there are only two people involved."

"In a sense, they are all very similar to you... Please rest assured, I will not treat you as a substitute for them. I hate this kind of substitute literature. No matter how similar they are, each individual should be an independent treasure."

The boy subconsciously folded his armor to avoid touching the girl's fragile heart in any way. He had just expressed his avoidance when his face was gently lifted up, and soft fingertips stroked his chin. Forced to raise his head, he saw the girl's eyes, a deep purple that should be as loud as thunder in the sky, yet also revealing an overly soft and tender heart.

Like a thin mist shrouded in the morning light, somewhat blurry, if you delve into it, it's as if you can't even see the world clearly, you can only feel the dampness of last night's continuous drizzle, condensing into clear dew that sparkles in the mist.

"Don't worry so much, I know. If I were to doubt you at this point, I would be too... despicable."

“A guy like me can get love, even as a substitute, even if it’s through despicable and shameless means.”

"Because that's just who I am. No matter what Jiang Cheng says or how much you encourage me, I just can't find even a shred of confidence or courage!"

……

Why do you call yourself despicable?

Insignificant things are subconsciously overlooked.

Jiang Cheng breathed softly, suppressing his excited emotions, the turbulent waves stirred deep within his heart by the girl's substantial confession.

"My former partners were named Velvi and Alicia, both very lovely girls. We first met when I was young. I was very curious and went exploring in the forest alone. I went to the deepest part of the forest and found Alicia under the tallest tree..."

"Although she looked like she had just been born, she had the most delicate pink hair, like cherry blossoms. When she lay in the thicket of leaves, bathed in the bright morning light, she was like a fairy from a fairyland. Her whole body was flawless and pure, as if she did not belong to this world."

"I remember there was a scary incident back then. A gust of wind came out of nowhere and broke a tree branch. It was about to fall on her face. I couldn't bear to see it and I instinctively closed my eyes."

"I don't remember what happened back then, it was too long ago, but when I opened my eyes again, I had already grabbed the branch, and Alicia opened her eyes for the first time, looking right at me."

"Those were beautiful blue eyes, but not the color of the ocean or the sky; rather, they were a purer, more flawless beauty, not belonging to nature itself. At the center of the pupil was a tiny speck of pink, as if a cherry blossom had accidentally fallen into it..."

"..."

"After that, I said goodbye to our hometown with her and set off to complete the great undertaking of traveling the world. We traveled to many places together. On the way, I met a girl named Vervi, someone who really resembles you..."

……

243. So tight, too tight.

"I remember that day was my birthday party. Although I was the only one not welcomed, everyone was only looking at Alicia and no one was looking at me. Only Velvi took the initiative to walk over to me, realized that I was the real birthday star of this party, and gave me a gift."

"Therefore, we gradually became friends, and I learned that although she was very talented, a top genius, she was very insecure and unable to face her own talent..."

……

The story of the simulation was revealed little by little, explained in detail, every detail, every point in time, from the first encounter with Alicia in the woods, to being adopted by her parents, becoming siblings, spending happy times together in the town, swimming together, playing together, walking along the stream, catching fish and shrimp.

Along with the subsequent neglect and gradual ignoring, the decision to travel the world together was increasingly ignored during the trip, and even her birthday was overshadowed by the attention of the host.

Raiden Mei remained silent throughout, even when explaining how the boy was neglected; she only accidentally tightened her hands a little while cupping her face.

As expected...

All expressions of love are exactly the same.