I'm really not a magician

"You are so noble," Zheng Kangkang sighed.

I reluctantly said, "it's not noble. If someone is killed by zombies, once it comes out, it will stir the society, just like the zombie incident in Chengdu in 1995."

Zheng Kangkang Oh, surprised and asked, "so the 95 Chengdu zombie incident is true?"

I shook my head and said, "I didn't say that."

"But even if tonight is over, their broken mouths will certainly talk outside." Zheng Kangkang said anxiously.

I smiled: "just don't have any media reports before this. Then I love to talk. No one believes it. Maybe I'll have to be arrested for spreading rumors."

Zheng Kangkang smiled and said, "that's what he said."

I looked at the coffin that had been carried to the yard, thought about it and said, "Kangkang, I need you to take them to prepare something for me. You can write it down on your mobile phone."

"A lot? Do you want them to go together?" Zheng Kangkang asked suspiciously.

"One hundred kilograms of glutinous rice, two bags of quicklime, one bucket of black dog blood, at least ten liters. Remember to add anticoagulants, a bundle of rope ten meters long, and soak it in vegetable oil for an hour. There is not enough cinnabar in my house. You can get another 500 grams of cinnabar and a stronger fishing net."

Zheng Kangkang nodded. I continued, "it's more than one o'clock now. It will be delivered to my house before five o'clock in the afternoon. Go and tell them first that I have to go back and prepare other things."

With that, I went out of Du's yard and ran towards home.

When I got home, I went into the utility room for the first time and took out a dusty wooden box. The box was full of Grandpa's things. He said it was a magic weapon, but I didn't see him use it.

I cleaned the dust with a wet rag, then opened the box and took out some things from it.

A three foot long peach wood sword, an ink bucket, two three finger wide runes, looked at the runes below, put one back, and then tossed in it for a while. A whip was found in the corner of the wooden box.

I don't know what this whip is for. I've never heard grandpa mention it.

Now the situation is a little serious. I touched my mobile phone and dialed grandpa's number, but it turned off.

I didn't think much. Look at the black whip Bing of the whip, about 10 cm long and more than one meter long. I don't know what kind of leather it is made of. It's all painted yellow and painted with some runes similar to the Zhen corpse pattern. It should be useful.

Although grandpa hasn't used these things for a long time, they are very smooth. Grandpa must have used them often before.

Unfortunately, there are no runes and seals in this box. I used to think that runes and seals and spells were just cultural inheritance. Now I think they must be useful.

But fortunately, I can draw the dead sign. Although I don't know whether it's useful or not, it's time to catch up with the ducks and put them on the shelf. I must try.

Take these things to Grandpa's study. The pen, ink, paper and inkstone are ready-made, but this symbol can't use ordinary ink. You have to add cinnabar and chicken crown blood to the ink.

Zhu Sha's family still has chicken corolla blood. There is no ready-made chicken corolla blood, but there are roosters at home. At this time, human life is crucial, and I can't manage so much.

I picked up a kitchen knife, went into the chicken coop, grabbed a cock directly, and then ran to the study to kill the chicken. I not only got about ten drops of chicken crown blood, but also received a bowl of chicken blood.

I poured chicken blood into a bottle, then stirred the ink, cut off some yellow runes and began to draw the dead rune.

I can draw the corpse fixing talisman, but I'm not proficient. The talisman feet are always bad. I practiced with ordinary ink for more than half an hour before drawing a qualified corpse fixing talisman.

This thing doesn't work. If it works, one is enough. If it doesn't work, a hundred won't work.

Put a seal on the amulet, then put it on the sacred platform at home, light three incense and start offering it.

After that, I called grandpa again. He was still turned off. The old man always forgot to charge his mobile phone. I'm used to it.

It's almost three o'clock. I put everything in a bag. Anyway, I'll carry the coffin to the grave first.

When they came to Du's house, they were ready to go. Master was in charge. Several big men carrying the coffin had begun to tie ropes to the coffin.

I went to the coffin and walked around the coffin twice. There was no movement.

"Elder brothers, be gentle when carrying the coffin. Don't knock on the coffin," I reminded.

The crowd nodded and said, "don't worry, I'm always raising my hand."

I looked at my watch and said, "we'll leave in ten minutes."

With that, I walked into the mourning hall. Du Yi and his classmates were still sitting in the room. Qian Liexian said, "well... I'll send someone to buy what you want, and it will be delivered to your house before six."

I nodded, "I'm going to go."

"Must we... Go?" Yuan Liangmao whispered.

"Why are you here? Aren't you just here for the funeral?" I said in silence.

Du Yi stood up and said, "don't be afraid, students. There are so many people."

I looked at Du Yi and went out directly. In fact, Du Yi's feelings for her mother were not very good, because before her mother died, their mother and daughter often quarreled.

When we reached the mourning hall, the funeral procession outside had gathered at the door, the Western band also carried musical instruments, and eight coffin bearers stood in front of the coffin.

I climbed onto an eight immortals table and shouted, "fellow villagers, chickens and dogs can't go, women who come to the moon can't go, and children under the age of five can't go."

With that, I jumped down from the table. Master looked at me. I nodded and signaled that I could start.

"Lift the coffin and light the gun..." the master sang loudly.

The crackling sound of firecrackers sounded. Master walked in the front, relatives and mother's family walked in the front, and behind them were the villagers who came to see them off, holding wreaths and paper people in their hands, and some carrying spirit houses. There were nearly 100 people in a vast team, including seven or eight firecrackers.

In order to make a good impression on the bodies in the coffin, the students cried more and more loudly, and even the three mourners couldn't cry.

The cave grandpa ordered was at the foot of Baier mountain in the east of the village, right next to the field divided by Du family. The grave pit had been dug long ago. However, according to custom, people who commit suicide can't fill the coffin on site after entering the pit. They can't fill it until the first seven days.

All the way was very smooth. When we got to the cemetery, the sun had not set yet, because we had just harvested rice, the field was also very dry and the place was large enough.

The grave pit was covered with hydrated lime and some clothes of the dead. I checked carefully. The bottom of the pit was flat and there was no water. There was no problem.

"The immediate relatives within three generations turned around," I shouted loudly, and then carefully commanded the coffin.

"Be careful and take your time," I said nervously. The eight people carrying the coffin became very careful under my greeting.

I am also vigilant to walk around the pit. Generally speaking, there will be an accident when the corpse is changed under the coffin, but I don't know where the accident will happen.

The coffins are all solid wood and very heavy. In addition, the body is full of 600 or 700 kilograms, and there are four fulcrums. Once one of them has a problem, the coffin will tilt and the lid will slide down.

I'm really afraid of what comes. A man beside me suddenly slipped under his feet. Alas, he shouted, and the coffin tilted fiercely as soon as he unloaded it.

I quickly grabbed the shoulder pole on the man's shoulder and resisted it on my own shoulder. The coffin made a 'Bang', and the coffin cover was about to slide out. I quickly shouted, "master, hurry, stabilize the coffin cover."

Master couldn't help but block the coffin cover, which didn't let the coffin cover continue to slide.

Another man and I tried to carry the horn. At the same time, we were relieved and said, "don't worry, don't worry, take your time."

"Why is the coffin getting heavier and heavier," one of them said.

"Normally, don't let go." I said quickly, "slowly, slowly."

I also feel that the coffin is getting heavier and heavier, but I know it's a corpse pendant. When the corpse changes into a coffin, it will work hard by itself.

After tossing for more than ten minutes, the coffin was finally placed smoothly in the grave pit. The people carrying the coffin were tired and fell directly to the ground. I squatted next to me and gasped heavily.

After looking at the setting sun, he said, "well, let's go back first. Don't look back. The big brothers carrying the coffin go around to the West. Don't go back the same way. Du Yi and his classmates stay and burn the spirit house with me."

As soon as I finished speaking, there was a "Dong" sound from the coffin, which jumped the people around me. The master quickly asked, "what sound?"

I looked at the fully covered coffin and hurriedly said, "it's just not stable. It's all right. It's hard for everyone. You can go back to dinner."

I stood up, took some wreaths from the side and covered the coffin.

Several old people in the village shook their heads and talked about that I was too young to do this job. The coffin almost collapsed just now. My grandfather is reliable. I must be responsible for any problem.

……