Become a Homelander and a Marvel superstar

"So if I don't pay you a salary, then it doesn't count as working, right?"

Azu smiled upon hearing this.

"Huh? Dream on, Mr. Stars and Stripes."

Tony spread his hands dramatically, almost knocking over the iced coffee in front of him. "Make me, Tony Stark, be Vought's free labor? My time is charged by the second. Even if it's charity, I need naming rights."

"Of course you can refuse."

Azu shrugged, picked up the tablet on the table, and opened the public relations assessment report on the "Avengers Out of Control Incident".

"However, given your 'outstanding performance' over the past 48 hours—including, but not limited to, the attempt to turn Manhattan into ruins with a large number of missiles and rockets, and the illegal feeding of Hulk unauthorized drugs—the federal government and the Security Council are now taking a very tough stance."

Ah Zu swiped his phone to project a document onto the wall.

"They require you to undergo a mandatory mental and psychological evaluation. The process takes at least three months."

"Three months?" Tony raised an eyebrow, his eyes widening. "Sorry, I don't have time. I have to go to a yacht party in Saint-Tropez..."

"You're not going anywhere, Tony," Azu interrupted him, his tone calm but undeniable. "You need to give the people an explanation. Prove that your mind has completely broken free from the control of that Asgardian banshee, prove that you won't suddenly fire palm cannons at innocent passersby in the street."

"And..." Azu paused, his eyes flickering, "you can't just eat and stay here for free."

"So?" Tony narrowed his eyes warily.

"So, you have to do the work." Azu spread his hands. "You need to provide Water with technical support. All-around support."

"Of course, it's free," he added.

"That's blackmail." Tony glared at him and curled his lip. "Stark never accepts blackmail."

"I'm just giving you a way out." Azu stood up, walked over to Tony, and patted him on the shoulder. "Besides, sometimes I really envy your luck, Tony."

"Envious of me?" Tony scoffed.

“Yes.” Azu looked out the window, his tone becoming somewhat wistful. “You have Pepper Potts. While you were going crazy and turning the building into a harem, that woman was still managing Stark Industries for you with great efficiency, and dealing with those board members who wanted to devour you alive.”

"If it weren't for her, you'd probably be bankrupt by now." Azu looked down at Tony. "Treat her well, man. A woman like that, once lost, is gone forever."

Tony's expression froze.

A feeling of guilt overwhelmed his arrogance.

"……All right."

Tony sighed softly, his voice becoming much lower.

"But I have one condition: my lab equipment must be moved here. Also, I don't drink instant coffee."

"Deal." Azu snapped his fingers.

……

Meanwhile, in another corner of the conference room.

Saul had somehow moved to the window and was oblivious to what was happening here.

"So, you're going back to Asgard, Your Highness?" Azu asked, raising his voice.

"But you've now been designated an unwelcome alien by the United Nations, and you'll have to apply for a visa from Vought before you can come to Earth again."

"No."

Thor turned around, his eyes no longer filled with arrogance, but even with a hint of humility.

"I won't leave. I lost Mjolnir, and I almost lost Jane too."

He clenched his fists, his eyes burning.

"Although that banshee controlled me, she also made me see my own heart clearly. I can't live without Jane."

"I'm staying," Thor said, looking at Azu. "To stay with Jane."

"A bodyguard? Or someone who serves tea, pours water, and hands you a wrench?" Tony couldn't help but interject sarcastically. "Right now, you don't even have a hammer."

"Yes, I can be her assistant," Thor said earnestly, ignoring Tony's sarcasm. "Just like we used to. Help her with her equipment, drive her around, do anything for her... In short, I want to win her back."

"Very spirited, Saul." Azu nodded. "I believe Jane will feel your sincerity. But remember, the stuff in the lab is very expensive, don't mess it up."

"I'll have HR process your internship onboarding."

"Thank you." Thor nodded solemnly.

……

Finally, there's Clint Barton, slumped over the table.

This Level 7 agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. looks like an ordinary middle-aged man who has just gone through a midlife crisis.

"And you, Agent Patton?" Azu asked. "Walter's shooting instructor position is still vacant."

No, no thanks.

Barton shook his head, forcing a tired smile.

"I think... I think I should take a long vacation. Or, I should just retire."

He took his phone out of his pocket and stroked the lock screen photo.

"Lola... she's still waiting for me at home. Even though I was being controlled this time, I really... I feel like I've made a mess of my life."

"I want to go back and fix the farm fence, practice archery with Lila, and check Cooper's math homework."

Azu looked at Barton.

In his mind, this ordinary human agent who could only shoot arrows wasn't very valuable. Without superpowers or a super serum, aside from slightly better accuracy, he was indeed somewhat out of touch in this era where superhumans were everywhere.

Since he wanted to leave, Azu naturally wouldn't force him to stay.

"I understand."

Azu nodded, showing his understanding.

"Family always comes first, and this is the most important part of Wot's corporate culture."

"Then the assessment?... " Barton asked with some concern.

"Assessment..." Azu waved his hand, "The damage you caused in this incident was very limited. After all, everyone was busy watching Iron Man, Thor, and Hulk, and not many people noticed you shooting arrows from the sidelines."

Barton's lips twitched; it didn't sound like a consolation.

"Public memory is short," Azu continued. "Your assessment is just a formality, it'll take about a week. After a week, you can go back to your farm."

Azu walked over to Barton and patted him on the shoulder.

"Go back and spend some quality time with your family. By the way, I heard your tractor on your farm broke down?"

Barton paused, then said, "Huh? Yes...yes. How did you know?"

"I heard it from Natasha," Azu said with a mysterious smile. "As a parting gift, I'll give you two of the latest John Deere tractors, the kind with air conditioning. To thank you for your contributions to the world."

"Really?" Barton's eyes lit up instantly. "God, thank you! Now Laura will never complain that I don't do any work all day!"

Seeing Patton's genuine joy, Azu chuckled inwardly.

The happiness of ordinary people is often so simple and unpretentious.

"Gained 10000 Special Popularity Points (from Clint Barton)"