I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Warhammer 40K universe, warp, at the edge of the Khorne realm and the boundary of the Nurgle Gardens.

The aroma of braised water spread freely in the chaotic void.

The two-meter-long tongue of Khorne (cow tongue) had been stewing in the pot of the Gluttony for a full three hours.

Jiang Li gently inserted Occam's razor, and the tip pierced through the muscle fibers, which were originally as hard as steel, without any resistance.

"It's so tender."

Jiang Li nodded in satisfaction.

He took the beef tongue out, sliced ​​it into paper-thin pieces, and drizzled it with chili oil, kiwi vinegar, and Sarnaga garlic paste.

"Come on, everyone, the first dish is [Cold Mixed Angry Tongue Strips]."

"Gulp."

Stukov swallowed hard; he was truly hungry and craving food. But when he looked out the window, the chopsticks he had just picked up froze in mid-air.

Because the view outside the window... has changed.

The Khorne Domain, which was originally filled with red rage and the aura of brass, had receded at some point.

Instead, there was a... nauseating yellowish-green color.

……

A loving father's backyard.

Countless fat, bomber-like plague flies buzzed outside the shield.

A long river of viscous pus flowed through the void.

Huge, pus-filled mushrooms floated like planets.

An indescribable stench, mixed with a cloyingly sweet smell of decay, tried to seep into every crevice of the Gluttony.

[Warning! Environmental toxin levels are off the charts!]

[WARNING! A massive biochemical reaction has been detected!]

Lisa Cassidy (UED Medical Officer) looked at the readings on the monitor and turned pale.

"My God... there are over a trillion different kinds of bacteria here!"

"And each one is...reproducing joyfully?"

"This isn't space at all...it's a giant petri dish!"

……

"Hehehehe..."

A low, murky laugh, as if emanating from the depths of a spittoon, echoed in everyone's minds.

"How...exquisite...the taste..."

"Is that... the aroma of fermentation?"

Laughter followed.

The long river of pus ahead parted.

A "warship" made of rotting whale carcasses and huge skeletons slowly sailed in.

On the deck of that warship (which was actually a pile of rotten flesh).

Sitting there is a... mountain of flesh.

It stood nearly a hundred meters tall, its entire body a vibrant green, its belly split open, revealing colorful intestines. Its skin was covered in cheerful Nurgles, and it held a giant, rusty ladle, stirring a cauldron of plague bubbling with green smoke.

[BOSS: Nurgle the Great, the Impure One.]

Title: Chef Kugas.

[Level: Chaos Demigod]

[Hobby: Developing new plagues (recipes) in the pot.]

……

Learning from each other?

Kugas's murky little eyes peered through the void at the hot pot in front of Jiang Li.

"Little guy..."

"You like...cooking too?"

Kugas raised his rusty ladle and scooped up a spoonful of the thick, green soup.

The soup contained bubbling eyeballs, toads, and countless unknown viruses.

"Come……"

"Taste Father's... [Eternal Despair Broth]."

"This is a soup I've been simmering for seven thousand years... an old broth."

Just one bite...

"You will then gain... eternal life (becoming rotten flesh)."

……

"vomit--"

Even though he was wearing power armor, Tex felt a churning in his stomach.

"This thing is edible? It's more disgusting than sewer!"

"Swann! Open fire! Blast it to smithereens!"

"Wait a minute."

Jiang Li raised his hand, stopping the crowd's attack.

He stood at the edge of the deck, without any protective gear, facing the stench that could instantly rot a Space Marine.

His gluttonous eyes were fixed on the plague cauldron.

[Analysis in progress...]

[Ingredients: High concentration of active bacteria, sub-space decay essence, and original broth.]

[Review: Although it looks terrible, from a biological point of view, this is a pot of... the ultimate "fermentation liquid".]

……

"Fermentation".

Jiang Li's eyes lit up.

"To those who don't understand, this is rottenness."

"But in the chef's eyes..."

"Rottenness and fermentation are separated by only a fine line."

"If it's well-controlled, it's fresh."

"If it's not controlled properly, it'll just smell bad."

Jiang Li shouted at Kugas:

"Hey! Fatty!"

"Your soup... is overcooked!"

"The bacterial flora is too mixed! The pH balance is off!"

"Besides smelling bad, it has absolutely no depth or complexity!"

……

"Um?"

Kugas was stunned.

For thousands of years, everyone who has seen it has either screamed and run away or been scared to death.

No one has ever... commented on its cooking.

And you say it's overcooked?

"ignorance……"

Kugas's smile disappeared (though it wasn't noticeable, since it had been smiling the whole time).

"This is... the true meaning of life."

"Since you don't know how to appreciate it..."

"Then...become a seasoning in the soup!"

"Men! Serve the food!"

"Buzz——————"

Countless plague drones and Nurgles, covered in viruses, rushed toward the Gluttony.

……

"Lisa! Everyone, get to work!"

Jiang Li shouted.

"This is a rare sight... a probiotic (?) collection site!"

"Swan! Bring out our SCV fermenters!"

"I want to make a..."

Jiang Li looked at the sky filled with green poisonous fog.

"Enough to suppress this stench... the ultimate fermented delicacy."

……

[Ingredients: Protoss High-Energy Tofu (previously made gas curd).]

[Additional ingredient: Plague-infested broth (this is the braising liquid).]

[Dish Name: Subspace Deep Blue Stinky Tofu]

Jiang Li's plan was both simple and audacious.

Since the power of filth is decay and rebirth.

Then use this power to catalyze the fermentation of food.

"Ergou! Snort!"

"Woof!"

Er Gou opened his right mouth (the black hole) and took a deep breath into Kugas's cauldron.

"Slurp—"

A large mass of green plague broth was sucked in and fell into the huge sealed jar that Swan had prepared.

"Lisa! Purify!"

"Kill the pathogens inside! Only keep the yeast and decomposing bacteria!"

"yes!"

Lieutenant Lisa, leading the medical corps and wielding recovery beams, unleashed a barrage of shots at the jar.

A fusion of technology and magic.

That originally deadly poisonous soup has turned into... a vat of ancient brine (although it is still green and bubbling).

……

Feeding.

Jiang Li threw several thousand pieces of Divine Gas Tofu into the freshly prepared "Nugou Braised Water".

"Sizzle sizzle—"

As soon as the tofu is placed in water, the psionic shield on its surface is instantly broken down by the bacteria.

The white tofu quickly turned... grayish-green.

Fine fuzz has grown on its surface.

A stench even more pungent, more overpowering, and more suffocating than that of Nurgle Garden...

It burst out of the jar.

"Cough cough cough!!!"

Mohanda (who has no nose) was so affected by the fumes that the ethereal light emanating from his body dimmed.

Tal'darim immediately cast ten layers of psionic shields on themselves.

"Is...is this a biological weapon?!"

"This is ten thousand times more terrifying than the red oil steam from before!"

……

"It's done."

Jiang Li took a deep breath of the aroma.

It smells bad, but tastes delicious.

"Heat the oil in the wok!"

"Splash!"

The oil pot (flea oil) next to it was already boiling hot.

Jiang Li scooped out the fermented, grayish-green stinky tofu and threw it into the oil pot.

"Sizzle————————!!"

That instant.

The entire subspace seemed to freeze.

That taste...

Indescribable.

It resembles a rotting corpse, yet also a blooming flower.

It's like the most vicious curse, yet also like the warmest embrace.

It is... extreme gustatory violence.

……

Kugas's confusion.

Kugas, who was in the distance, stopped what he was doing.

Its keen sense of smell (its whole body is a nose) detected the scent.

"this……"

Its plump body trembled.

"What is this?"

"Why is it so...fragrant?"

"Why is it so...intoxicating?"

"Could this be... the taste of God's chosen one, a new gift from the loving Father?"

The soup in its large pot, compared to this flavor, was as bland as plain water.

……

"Want some?"

Jiang Li carried a large plate of freshly fried, crispy on the outside and tender on the inside "Subspace Stinky Tofu" drizzled with minced garlic and chili oil.

Standing at the bow of the ship.

"Fatty."

"As a colleague."

"It's my treat."

Jiang Li waved his hand.

The plate of stinky tofu (magnified dozens of times) transformed into a shooting star and flew towards Kugas.

……

The Devil's Fall.

Kugas reached out his large hand and caught the plate of tofu.

It looked at these dusty, oily little cubes.

I hesitated for a moment.

Then, I threw a piece into my mouth (it was about the size of a truck).

"Click."

The crispy outer layer crumbled.

The broth inside (the fresh soup transformed from the brine) burst open.

"!!!"

Kugas's tiny green eyes widened instantly.

Fermentation!

What perfect fermentation!

It could even sense that every single bacterium in the tofu was cheering and releasing a toxin called "umami".

This is more than just food.

This is... an elevation of the Corrupt Avenue.

"Oh...oh oh oh..."

Kugas let out an indescribable groan.

Its originally malevolent body has begun to...melt?

No, it's purification.

Or rather, it was "exorcised" by this extreme flavor.

It no longer wants to spread the plague.

It just wants... one more piece.

……

"Delicious...it's so delicious..."

Kugas lay sprawled on its rotten warship, drooling like a child.

"Teach me..."

"Please... teach me..."

"How do you make this...?"

The battlefield was originally tense and ready to fight.

It instantly turned into... a cooking training class.

The surrounding Nurgles also stopped attacking and scrambled to grab the fallen tofu scraps.

……

The Emperor's gaze.

In this harmonious atmosphere of "birds of a feather flock together".

The distant real universe.

Terra Palace.

On the golden throne.

That withered human emperor who had sat for ten thousand years, maintaining the starlight.

A golden spark suddenly flashed in his already barren eye sockets.

He "saw" this scene in the subspace.

He "smelled" that smell.

Although separated by countless dimensions.

But that smell contained... order (turning the chaotic virus into an orderly fermentation).

It stirred a slight ripple in his usually calm and collected soul.

[Emperor (inner monologue): ...Stinky tofu?]

[The Emperor (inner monologue): Someone actually... blew up poop in Nurgle's Garden?!]

[Emperor (inner voice): ...Interesting.]

"Buzz——————"

A golden beam of psionic energy (Starlight) pierced through the mist of the warp.

Like a spotlight.

It hit the [Gluttony] ship.

……

"What kind of light is that?!"

Mohanda covered his eyes (sensors).

"Such powerful psionic energy! Even more domineering than Orus!"

"It's filled with...the smell of dictatorship and holiness!"

Jiang Li looked up.

Looking at that golden pillar of light.

he knows.

That is the ruler of mankind.

That is the Corpse Emperor.

It is also the only beacon in this despairing universe.

"It seems..."

Jiang Li wiped the grease from the corner of his mouth.

"Our meal..."

"It alerted the... property manager here."

……

A new deal.

Jiang Li raised the stinky tofu in his hand, facing the golden light.

"Don't rush, Your Majesty."

"Since you're here..."

"This first batch...of takeout."

"Shall I...deliver it to you?"

Jiang Li turned his head.

"Swann! Mike Wazowski!"

"Target: Holy Terra!"

"We're going to..."

"For that old man who's been sitting on the sidelines for ten thousand years..."

"Bringing warmth (meals)!"