I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Chapter 323 Tzeentch's Nine-Turn Intestine Labyrinth and Slaanesh's "King Crab"

Warhammer 40K Universe, Deep in the Warp, Starlight Trail.

The Gluttony followed the golden starlight, moving at full speed through the chaotic warp currents.

Inside the cabin, the smell of "subspace stinky tofu" was still strong.

Although Kugas was not able to board the ship (because it smelled too bad and Alice refused to take it), its emotional cries still seemed to echo in the mists of the warp.

"Boss, the road conditions ahead... seem a bit off."

Swan stared at the radar screen, where the pointer was spinning wildly, as if it were drunk.

"The light of the starlight... was refracted."

"The spatial readings above... are infinite."

……

"unlimited?"

Jiang Li carried a bowl of freshly fried stinky tofu (a late-night snack for herself) to the window.

The original purplish-red subspace background suddenly transformed into a dazzling labyrinth composed of countless crystal mirrors.

Each mirror reflects a different future.

In some futures, the Gluttony crashes.

In some futures, Jiang Li becomes the Chosen One of Chaos.

In some futures, Er Gou will eat himself to death.

[Warning! Entering Tzeentch's Domain.]

[Scene: Crystal Maze.]

[Characteristics: Fate manipulation, infinite loop, sanity collapse.]

……

"Gah—!!"

A sharp bird cry echoed through the maze.

Reflected by countless mirrors, an enormous, two-headed bird appeared from the illusion.

Its feathers changed color from blue to pink, and it held a thick book of destiny and a staff in its hand.

[BOSS: Tzeentch the Great Demon - The Weaver of Fate.]

[Real name: Kairos.]

[Level: Chaos Demigod]

[Characteristics: The right side sees the future, the left side sees the past. It is omniscient, and also the biggest liar.]

……

"mortal……"

Kairos’ right head (the Head of Truth) spoke, its voice ancient and wise.

"Do you wish to traverse this labyrinth of fate to reach Terra?"

"But I see your future... You will get lost here and eventually become nourishment for the reformers."

Immediately afterwards, its left head (the head of lies) screamed:

"No! He'll succeed! He'll boil us too! Run!"

Two heads, two prophecies.

The mix of truth and falsehood can drive people mad.

……

"Two heads?"

Jiang Li looked at the large bird and ignored its nonsense.

His focus was completely off track.

In my hometown, there's a dish called... "Two ways to cook a chicken".

"But this bird..."

Jiang Li touched his chin.

"That size, that color of the feathers..."

"It looks more like... a turkey?"

"And it's the kind of eight-treasure turkey stuffed with glutinous rice and chestnuts?"

……

"madness!"

Cairos shouted angrily from his right side.

"I am the weaver of fate! I can see every trace of your sword strike!"

"Here, space is folded!"

"You'll never be able to touch me!"

As he spoke, Cailos waved his staff.

[Skill: Ever-Changing Maze.]

The surrounding crystal mirrors began to move wildly.

The road ahead of the Gluttony had turned into a huge, spiraling dead end with no way out.

It's like a rope with tens of thousands of knots.

Or perhaps... a tangled mess of intestines.

……

"A deadlock?"

Jiang Li looked at the complex spiral structure.

Laughed.

He turned to look at Sun Wukong behind him.

"Great Sage".

"Trying to play mazes in front of me, Old Sun?"

Wukong hoisted the golden cudgel onto his shoulder, looking disdainful.

"This thing looks familiar."

"Isn't this... the Nine-Turned Intestine?"

……

[Tactics: Cleanse the large intestine (physical).]

"That's right."

Jiang Li nodded.

"For a chef, there is no knot that cannot be untied."

"if only……"

Jiang Li raised Occam's razor in his hand.

"Cut it open."

"Ergou! Bit that one!"

"Woof!"

Er Gou rushed out of the spaceship and bit one end of the maze (a node in space).

"Great Sage! Grab that end!"

Wukong somersaulted over and grabbed the other end of the maze.

"Straighten it for me...!"

Jiang Li let out a loud shout.

Er Gou and Wu Kong exerted their power simultaneously.

"collapse------!!"

The "ever-changing labyrinth" formed by folding together higher dimensions actually made a cracking sound under the strain of the two brute forces.

The originally winding "intestines" were forcibly... stretched into a straight line.

……

"This...this is not scientific (magic)!"

Kairos's two heads were both dumbfounded.

It predicted billions of futures, none of which were "physically straightened out of the maze"!

This is an insult to Lord Tzeentch!

"Now that it's straightened..."

Jiang Li's figure vanished instantly.

Instant Step.

The next second, he appeared in front of Cailos.

"Then it's time to...prepare the ingredients."

The knife in Jiang Li's hand reflected Kairos's terrified eyes.

"Do you know?"

"The worst thing about poultry is... not knowing what the future holds."

"But since you know the future..."

Jiang Li swung his sword.

"Then you should know..."

"Are you... braised or steamed?"

……

[Knife Skill: Butcher's Skill - Separating Flesh from Bone - Double-Headed Version]

"Swish! Swish!"

Two flashes of light.

It wasn't killed (because it was a subspace creature, which is difficult to kill completely).

but.

Jiang Li cut off the flight feathers on its wings.

And...the bones in its legs were removed.

"Gah—!!"

Cairos screamed as he plummeted from the sky.

The boneless legs could not support the body, and it collapsed onto the crystal floor like a lump of mud.

It turned into... a boneless chicken.

……

"good."

Jiang Li landed and grabbed the giant "boneless bird".

"Tzeentch's flesh is full of variables."

"The taste may be different for each bite."

"This is practically... blind box fried chicken."

Jiang Li threw it into the SCV cryogenic chamber behind him.

"Next stop!"

……

The allure of pink.

We just left Tzeentch's Crystal Labyrinth.

The surrounding environment changed drastically once again.

This time, there was no stench, and no maze.

Only...fragrance.

It was a blend of rose, musk, and some kind of heart-pounding hormonal scent.

Pink silk fluttered in the void.

The soft, seductive music reached my ears; it was the gentle singing of countless handsome men and beautiful women.

[Warning! Entering Slaanesh's territory.]

[Scene: The Six Rings of Elysium.]

[Characteristics: Sensory overload, extreme temptation, and spiritual depravity.]

……

"welcome……"

A soft, alluring voice rang out.

In the void ahead, a colossal palace appeared, constructed of pink crystal and flesh.

The palace gates were open.

A demon with four arms, half-human and half-snake (or half-crab) appearance, possessing stunning beauty yet exuding a deadly aura, slowly emerged.

[BOSS: Slaanesh the Great Demon - The Keeper of Secrets.]

[Title: "Silver Tongue" Sharashi.]

[Level: Chaos Demigod]

[Characteristics: It is the embodiment of desire; every inch of its skin and every movement entices the most primal impulses of living beings.]

……

Sharashi waved its four arms, two of which held exquisite wine glasses, and the other two held... sharp crab claws.

"Guests who have come from afar..."

"Why the rush?"

"The road ahead is too difficult."

"Why don't we stay..."

"Enjoy this...eternal feast."

With its voice.

Numerous dining tables appeared around them.

The table was laden with delicacies, and the area was surrounded by sultry succubi.

They were flirting with Tex and Stukov.

"Come on, soldier!"

"Want a drink?"

……

"Gulp."

Tex's eyes widened.

"This is too...too much of a test for the cadres."

Stukov was also somewhat shaken. Although he loved alcohol, this Slaanesh liquor... smelled even stronger than vodka.

Even the Taldarim started to glow red (a little embarrassed?).

"snort."

A cold snort shattered the enchanting atmosphere.

Jiang Li stared expressionlessly at the keeper of secrets.

"feast?"

"this one?"

Jiang Li pointed to the seemingly exquisite food on the table.

"That stone was created by illusion."

He then pointed to the succubi.

"That's the skin of the pink-clad demon."

At last.

He pointed to Sharashi himself.

"As for you..."

Jiang Li's gaze fell on its several huge, pink arms (pincers) covered with barbs.

"So many hands..."

"No need to peel shrimp..."

"What a pity."

……

"You don't know how to appreciate..."

Sharahi's face darkened.

Its prized allure was ignored by this human?

"Since you rejected the gentle trap."

"Then savor... the pleasure of pain!"

"Tear him to pieces!!"

Sharashi swung her four enormous crab claws (magic swords), transforming them into a pink whirlwind that rushed towards Jiang Li.

It moves extremely fast, leaving afterimages.

That's an extreme speed that surpasses visual capture.

……

"A spider demon?"

Upon seeing this, Sun Wukong's fiery eyes instantly lit up.

"I, Old Sun, hate these kinds of monsters with too many arms and legs the most!"

"I didn't get enough fighting in the Spider Cave back then!"

"I'll use you as a practice subject today!"

"Certainly!!"

Wukong shouted loudly.

Although the immobilization spell cannot immobilize a powerful demon of this level for too long.

But that brief pause was enough.

……

[Ingredients: Slaanesh's Keeper (premium seafood)]

[Ontology Analysis: Although it resembles a human, its exoskeleton structure and muscle texture are highly similar to those of a deep-sea king crab.]

[Characteristics: The meat is extremely sweet (because it's full of "love"), and it contains a natural hallucinogenic toxin (this is the principle behind drunken crab).]

Jiang Li moved.

He did not use a knife.

Instead, he took out a huge bottle of aged Shaoxing wine (a stockpile brought from Earth).

"For this kind of top-quality seafood."

"Killing it is a waste of food."

"must……"

"Drunk with alcohol."

……

[Skill: Dionysus - Drunken Immortal Spell]

Jiang Li splashed the jar of wine into the air.

"Ergou! Wind!"

"Woof!"

Er Gou exhaled a gust of wind, turning the liquor into a cloud of mist.

When these alcohol mists come into contact with Sharashi's skin...

It seeped in instantly.

"Ah~"

The originally menacing keeper of secrets.

Suddenly, she let out a soft moan.

Its movements slowed down.

Two red blushes appeared on its face.

Its eyes became unfocused.

"This wine..."

"So...so addictive..."

Slaanesh's demons crave sensory stimulation.

But this jar of Shaoxing wine has been spiked with something (Xel'Naga's divine power).

It directly overloaded its sensory system.

……

"It'll be easier if he's drunk."

Jiang Li walked over.

At this moment, Sharashi had collapsed to the ground, his four arms flailing limply, and he was talking nonsense.

Jiang Li skillfully... tied her up.

Using the Hun Tian Ling (sponsored by Nezha), its four arms and two legs were tied together to form a standard hairy crab shape.

"This 'crab'..."

Jiang Li patted Xia Laxi's pink outer shell.

"Not only is there a lot of meat."

"Moreover... the crab roe (energy core) is plentiful."

"take away!"

"Let's add an extra dish for the Emperor!"

……

Break out of subspace.

They solved Tzeentch's chicken and Slaanesh's crab.

The road ahead was finally clear.

The golden starlight was already within reach.

"Hold on tight!"

"We're about to land!"

"boom--------!!"

The Gluttony shuddered violently.

The surrounding, wildly distorted subspace scene shattered instantly.

Instead.

It is a dark, cold, yet orderly physical universe.

as well as……

That blue (now maybe a bit gray) planet.

Holy Terra.

The Throne World of the Human Empire.

……

Panic in the solar system's defense perimeter.

"Alarm! Alarm!"

"Subspace rift detected!"

Location: Terra High-Altitude Orbit!

"That is..."

The Imperial Fist fleet stationed in Terra, along with the Imperial Guard's warships.

All the cannons were aimed at the enormous creature that had just emerged from the subspace.

What did they see?

A strange ship... with golden dragon scales, red tentacles, and a huge belly (the Queen Insect) hanging from it...

and.

On this ship.

It exudes a...

A mixture of the stench of Nurgle (stinky tofu), the spiciness of Khorne (chili oil), the unpredictability of Tzeentch (blind box fried chicken), and the sweetness of Slaanesh (drunken crab)...

The ultimate blend of scents.

……

"heresy!!"

Trajan Valoris, Marshal of the Imperial Guard.

Holding the guardian's axe, he stood on the palace wall.

His face was ashen.

"This is an amalgamation of the four Chaos Gods!"

"This is blasphemy!"

"All troops...fire!!!"

……

"Wait!!"

Just one second before the barrage of cannon fire.