I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Holy Terra, deep within the palace, the sanctuary.

The air was filled with stale incense, ozone, and a suffocating sense of psionic oppression.

The colossal Gate of Eternity slowly opened amidst the roar of hydraulic machinery. This gate, weighing thousands of tons, was carved with epic reliefs depicting the Emperor's unification of Terra.

Jiang Li followed Trajan Valoris with light steps.

Behind him floated the enormous Gluttony Box, made from scraps of the Spear of Adun.

Meanwhile, Er Gou, Wu Kong, Mo Handa, and the others looked at the magnificent building known as the "Heart of Humanity" with curiosity.

"The decorating style here..."

Mohanda looked at the towering golden statues, hundreds of meters tall, lining both sides of the corridor, and the dense, pure marks on the walls.

"It's a bit like... the Temple of El."

"But it's even more oppressive than for us..."

"and……"

Mohanda pointed to the visible golden psionic dust in the air.

"Everywhere here echoes the torment of souls."

……

"Those were psionicists who sacrificed themselves to maintain the Starlight."

Trajan stopped, turned around, and his cold voice came through his helmet.

"One thousand a day."

"This is the necessary price to allow human ships to navigate in the subspace."

He stared at Jiang Li, the Watcher's Axe in his hand still charging.

"Outsiders".

"If it wasn't ordered by our Lord himself."

"Your head is now hanging at Lionsgate Airport."

"Put away your murderous aura, Marshal."

Jiang Li waved calmly.

"A thousand souls as batteries every day?"

"Tsk tsk tsk..."

Jiang Li shook his head, looking regretful.

"That's such a waste."

"This is the least efficient way to use energy."

"It's like... chopping up all the furniture in the house to use as firewood just to boil a kettle of water."

"What do you know?!" Turalyon roared in fury.

"I don't know how to govern a country, but I do know... how to start a fire."

Jiang Li pointed to the last door leading to the throne room.

"Wait until I've fed the one inside."

"You won't have to chop furniture every day then."

……

Confront the Lord of Humanity.

The gate opened.

A massive psionic storm, powerful enough to instantly vaporize a mortal's soul, swept towards us.

However, under the protection of the Gluttony God, Jiang Li and the others were safe and sound.

They saw it.

On that enormous, steampunk-style golden mechanical throne.

Sitting there was a... withered giant.

He can no longer be called a "human being".

He was a dried-up corpse.

His skin clung to his bones like dried parchment, his eye sockets were sunken, and only his right eye retained a prosthetic eye. Countless tubes were inserted into his body to keep his heart from beating.

however.

Around him, the golden psionic flames that never went out still burned.

That is the emperor.

A god who, for the sake of humanity, sat in agony for ten thousand years, caught between life and death.

……

Hello, sir.

Jiang Li did not kneel down, nor did she show any fear.

He walked down the steps of the throne as if he were visiting a sick old neighbor.

"The environment is nice."

"It's just... a bit dusty."

Jiang Li waved his hand, dispelling the psionic dust in front of him.

"presumptuous!!"

The imperial guards around them all raised their halberds in unison.

"Step back."

The voice rang out again.

This time, it wasn't just a whisper in my mind.

Instead, it is a physical sound produced by vibrating the air through a sound array on the throne.

"Let him... come up."

"I... am hungry."

……

The feast begins: a picnic in front of the throne.

Trajan's expression clearly showed his worldview had collapsed.

Jiang Li walked up the steps leading to the throne.

He stopped just five meters away from the emperor.

With a wave of his hand.

A giant round table made of cockroach shells appeared out of thin air.

"Ergou, serve the food."

"Woof!"

The enormous food box was opened.

A mixed odor, enough to drive any mortal mad, instantly swept through the entire throne room.

That taste...

It has the stench of Neficence, the bloodshed of Khorne, the unpredictability of Tzeentch, and the sweetness of Slaanesh.

But under Jiang Li's mediation...

These four extreme flavors miraculously achieved a... terrifying balance.

……

First course: Appetizer.

[Dish Name: Cold Katsuobushi (Snake Tongue Salad)]

Jiang Li picked up the plate of thinly sliced ​​beef tongue, drizzled with chili oil.

"His Majesty."

"I've heard that your empire is now filled with war and anger?"

"This dish is made from the most powerful demon in Khorne's body."

"Its tongue represents... the tongue that incites war."

"Eat it."

"It was just that it consumed... senseless rage."

"Transform anger... into appetite."

……

A golden flame flickered in the emperor's withered eye sockets.

He has no mouth (or rather, his mouth has dried up).

But he has psychic powers.

A golden beam of light shot out from the throne and enveloped the plate of ox tongues.

"Slurp—"

There is no chewing process.

The plate of ox tongue decomposed and vaporized directly in the golden light, and was then absorbed by the Emperor's psionic entity.

"Well……"

The throne emitted a deep rumble.

The emperor's withered chest actually... rose and fell slightly.

A red energy (Khorne essence) merged into his golden psionic energy.

The already shaky starlight suddenly became even more... aggressive.

[Emperor (inner voice): A little... spicy.]

[Emperor (inner voice): But... it's very potent.]

[Emperor (inner voice): I feel... my blood (though I have no blood) boiling.]

……

The second dish: soup.

[Dish Name: Subspace Deep Blue Stinky Tofu (Old Brine Version)]

Jiang Li brought out the sealed jar.

As soon as the lid is opened.

"vomit--"

Trajan, standing at the bottom of the steps, almost vomited even though he was wearing a helmet.

"This is a biological attack! Protect the enemy!!"

"Quiet."

The emperor's voice interrupted him.

"This is... the taste of life."

Jiang Li smiled.

"You know your stuff."

"This tofu was braised in the plague-infested broth."

"Filth represents decay, but it also represents rebirth."

"Your Majesty, your body... has been decaying for far too long."

"We need something... strong."

"Only by fighting poison with poison can withered trees bloom again."

……

Jin Guang rolled up the few pieces of grayish-green stinky tofu again.

"Sizzle sizzle—"

When Nurgle's life essence enters the Emperor's body.

A miracle happened.

On the emperor's dry, bark-like skin, a faint... luster began to appear?

Those cells that had been dead for ten thousand years began to divide slightly under the stimulation of the purified life force (probiotics).

Although resurrection is still a long way off.

But this is absolutely a medical miracle.

[Emperor (inner voice): ...It smells so good.]

[Emperor (inner monologue): That rebellious son Mortarion... if he knew I ate his god... his expression would be priceless.]

……

The third dish: staple food.

[Dish Name: Tzeentch's Boneless Chicken (Blind Box)]

Jiang Li served a large plate of golden and crispy fried chicken pieces.

"This is Cailos, the Weaver of Fate."

"It has two heads, one looking into the past and the other into the future."

"But now..."

"It's just... a plate of meat."

"Your Majesty, you have sat here for ten thousand years, deducing countless possible futures for humanity."

"You must be very tired?"

"How about..."

"Chew up and swallow these complicated futures."

"The future cannot be predicted."

"It's...from what I ate."

……

The emperor absorbed the plate of fried chicken.

That instant.

The chaotic warp shadow that once shrouded Terra.

Suddenly it became clear.

The emperor's prophetic abilities underwent a qualitative leap.

He saw that the previously blurred lines of fate had been disrupted and reorganized by a new variable (binge eating).

That was no longer a dead end leading to destruction.

Instead, it's a broad avenue paved with delicious food.

[Emperor (inner monologue): Is this... the taste of uncertainty?]

[Emperor (inner voice): Crispy skin...juicy...and...boneless (no obstruction).]

[The Emperor (inner monologue): That bookworm Magnus... he's definitely never had such good chicken before.]

……

The fourth course: a seafood feast.

[Dish Name: Drunken King Crab (Spicy and Delicious)]

At last.

Jiang Li brought out the Slaanesh demon Shalahi, who was tightly bound and still blowing bubbles.

By this time, Sharashi had already been marinated in Xarnaga Shaoxing wine.

The pink outer shell is crystal clear and exudes a captivating aroma of wine.

"Salamansi represents excessive desire."

"But if it's controlled properly..."

"Desire is... enjoyment."

Jiang Li peeled open the crab shell, revealing a belly full of crab roe (energy core).

"His Majesty."

"You abstained from sex for the sake of humanity for ten thousand years."

"They even stripped themselves of their humanity."

"But that's not right."

"A god without humanity cannot protect humankind."

"Come."

"Let's have some wine and some crab."

"To rediscover... a little bit of the joy of being human."

……

The Emperor's silence.

This time, the Emperor did not immediately pick up his chopsticks (activating his spiritual energy).

He looked at the drunken crab.

He seemed to be hesitating.

Because he had personally stripped away his humanity. In order not to be devoured by the Dark Lord, he had to maintain absolute rationality.

but.

The aroma of that wine...it was so tempting.

finally.

A golden psionic hand grabbed the giant crab.

"Click."

The crab shell is broken.

The sweet crab meat and rich crab roe flowed into that parched soul.

"boom!!!"

A golden storm erupted in the throne room.

Everyone felt it.

That emperor who was originally cold, ruthless, and like a machine.

His psionic fluctuations...

There was a slight increase in... temperature.

There was a hint of... intoxication.

It even... carried a hint of... emotion.

……

[Emperor (inner voice): ...Good wine.]

[Emperor (inner monologue): That perverted Fogrem... his lifelong pursuit of perfection... was actually in this crab roe?]

[Emperor (inner voice): I... I feel it...]

[Emperor (inner voice): I... am still alive.]

……

The strange events that have occurred on the Golden Throne.

After finishing the Four Gods Family Bucket.

The golden throne, which was already on the verge of collapse, suddenly underwent a dramatic change.

Originally, those aging mechanical parts that required constant sacrifices of souls to maintain.

Under the influence of the "new golden spiritual energy that has fused with the power of the four gods" within the Emperor's body.

It's actually starting to... self-repair?

"Buzz——————"

The noise emanating from the throne has changed.

It was no longer that painful groan.

Rather, it's a kind of...powerful roar after a good meal.

The light of the star torch instantly increased tenfold.

It not only illuminated the Milky Way.

It even pierced through the warp storm, illuminating the dark side of those former empires.

……

"A miracle...this is a miracle!!"

Trajan knelt down.

The imperial guards around them knelt down.

Even the representatives of the Cult of Machines, who were observing from the shadows, knelt down.

"The God of Machines has appeared!"

"Your Majesty...is full!"

……

The conversation after the meal.

The emperor, having eaten and drunk his fill, is still in the state of a dried-up corpse.

But his mental state was better than ever before.

"A mortal... no, a cook."

The emperor's voice became loud and majestic, but less cold.

"I am very satisfied with the takeout you brought."

"Speak."

What do you want?

"Do you want my empire?"

"You still want... my Imperial Guard?"

……

"What would I need that thing for?"

Jiang Li wiped his hands and began to tidy up the table (throwing the remaining crab shells to Er Gou).

Managing an empire across a galaxy is exhausting.

"Every day I had to review memorials and guard against my son's rebellion."

"I only want one thing."

Jiang Li pointed to the golden throne.

To be precise.

It's the entrance to the network tunnel beneath the throne, connecting to the gates of the warp.

"I heard that down here..."

"Connected to... an ancient network of networks?"

"and……"

"That place is now...infested with endless demons?"

……

"That's right."

The emperor's voice was somewhat solemn.

"That was my greatest failure."

"In order to seal that rift, I have no choice but to sit here for ten thousand years."

"Once I leave, the demons below will overwhelm Terra."

"That makes things easier."

Jiang Li's eyes lit up.

"His Majesty."

"You've been sitting here for too long, you should move around."

"That crack..."

"Leave it to me."

Jiang Li patted his chest.

"I'm not afraid of having many demons."

"I'm just worried... there won't be enough to eat."

Give me control of that online platform.

"I modified it into..."

"【Deep Blue Subspace Self-Service Farm】".

"I promise……"

"Eat the demons inside... until they become protected animals."

……

Guilliman's call.

Just then.

Tula's communicator rang.

It is the highest priority encrypted channel.

From the flagship of the Indomitable Truth.

Robert Guilliman, the Regent of the Empire.

"Marshal Trajan!"

Guilliman's voice was filled with anxiety and shock.

"What happened in Terra?!"

"Why is Starlight's reading off the charts?!"

"Why has the storm in the warp... subsided?!"

"and……"

"Why do I feel like... my father, who's been sitting on his throne for ten thousand years without moving...?"

"I just... let out a burp?!"

……

Tula responded.

Trajan glanced at Jiang Li, who was clearing away the dishes.

He glanced again at the emperor on the throne, who was still a skeleton but seemed to be... picking his teeth (psychic tooth picking).

The Imperial Guard Marshal took a deep breath.

Speaking into the communicator in an extremely complex, absurd, yet incredibly devout tone:

"Your Excellency the Regent."

"Don't worry."

"The Emperor..."

"I just... had a good meal."

"besides……"

"Get ready."

"We might need to... expand our chef team."