I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Warhammer 40K Universe, Amagidon, Hades' Hive Battleground.

"roar----!!"

A furious roar filled with humiliation shook the surrounding ruins, causing them to crumble.

Ironjaw Bonebreaker's eyes turned blood red. Its massive, iron-plated jaw trembled violently, and two plumes of white smoke, enough to ignite gasoline, billowed from its nostrils.

"vegetable?!"

"Acquisition?!"

"You hairless shrimp (human)! How dare you mistake the magnificent green-skinned creature for a rotten leaf?!"

Iron Jaw raised its power claw, which was larger than Jiang Li himself. An unstable disintegration force field pulsed on the claw blade, emitting a crackling sound of electricity.

"I'm not a cabbage!!"

"I am... the God of War!!"

"Die!!"

"WAAAGH!!!"

With this battle cry, the Waaagh! force field around the Ironjaw surged instantly. Its already massive body expanded even further under the influence of the green psionic energy.

It was like a runaway heavy tank, charging toward that tiny human with the force to crush everything.

……

"Tsk."

Jiang Li stood still, not even lifting his eyelids.

He simply sighed softly, like a helpless chef facing unruly ingredients.

"The fresher the vegetables, the more temperamental they are."

"The fibers are too tight, and there's too much moisture."

"If we don't deal with it first..."

"It's hard for the flavor to penetrate."

……

[Cooking Skill: Chinese Cold Dish - Vigorously Smashed Cucumber.]

Just as the powerful claws, capable of tearing apart a tank, were about to touch Jiang Li's nose.

Jiang Li moved.

He did not use the blade.

Instead, he flipped his wrist and turned Occam's razor sideways.

Use the broad, flat back of the blade.

He casually... slapped down on the charging iron jaws.

"Smack!!!!"

A deafeningly clear sound, so loud it even produced a sonic boom, instantly drowned out the gunfire and artillery noises from the entire battlefield.

……

This shot is significant.

This is not just a physical attack.

This strike contained the power of shock, the power of dispersion, and the suppression of the rules of the Gluttony God.

It's like an old chef slicing a freshly picked cucumber with its blossoms and thorns still attached.

The goal is not to break it, but... to scatter it.

Break up its structure, loosen its fibers, and instantly transform it from a taut state to a relaxed state.

……

"puff----"

The moment the massive body of the Iron Jaw made contact with the back of the blade.

It's like a punctured balloon.

The violent Waaagh! force field surrounding it was directly "dissipated" by this slap.

Its tough muscle fibers disintegrated instantly under the force of the impact.

"Boom!"

This arrogant orc warlord did not fly away.

Instead, it lay flat on the ground like a lump of mud.

It even bounced twice on the ground.

……

"Well……"

Iron Jaw lay in the pit, trying to stand up.

But it discovered that every bone and every tendon in its body seemed... loose?

The feeling was like having just finished a ten-hour Thai massage.

It's so soft and weak, I can't muster any strength at all.

It even... feels a little comfortable?

"What...what kind of sorcery is this?"

Iron Jaw spat out a mouthful of green blood.

"Where did my strength go?"

……

"This is called... tender meat."

Jiang Li squatted down and poked the softened back muscles of the Iron Jaw with the back of his knife.

"look."

"It's much better now."

"It was too hard just now, it won't soften even after boiling."

"Like this now..."

Jiang Li nodded in satisfaction.

"Just... a simple cold salad, and it's a delicious dish."

……

Hades's Nest City, at the top of the command tower.

An elderly man wearing a black political commissar's overcoat, a distinctive peaked cap, and a red laser prosthetic eye in his right eye.

He was holding up binoculars, staring intently at the center of the battlefield.

Sebastian Arreek.

A hero of Amagidon, the mortal enemy of the Ork, and a legendary figure revered by the Greenskins as "that one-eyed old man."

at this time.

This old man, a veteran of countless battles, who had killed countless barbarians.

The binoculars in my hand were trembling.

"By the Emperor..."

Arek's voice was dry, as if he had swallowed a handful of sand.

"In my life... I've killed at least ten thousand greenskins."

"I've seen it bombarded by cannons, slashed with knives, and burned with fire."

"But I've never seen it before..."

"They mistook the green skin for... a cucumber for something else?!"

The Black Templar Space Marine captain standing next to him was also completely bewildered.

"political commissar."

"Is that... also some kind of imperial close-combat technique?"

"No."

Arek put down the binoculars, and his red prosthetic eye flashed wildly.

"That's not martial arts."

"That's... art."

"A harvesting art that transcends war itself and goes straight to the essence of life."

……

A comprehensive "spring plowing" campaign.

As the leader Ironjaw was slapped into a "soft-legged shrimp".

The remaining millions of orcs did not collapse immediately.

Because the logic of the green-skinned people is: if the boss falls, then I will be the new boss!

As a result, several smaller Ork leaders immediately started fighting over command.

This gave the Deep Blue Farming Team an excellent opportunity.

"All personnel, listen to my command!"

Jiang Li stood up and stepped on the back of the iron jaw (to prevent it from moving around).

"The ingredients have been pre-processed (patted loose)."

"Now……"

"Pack!"

……

[Tactics: Deep Blue's Whirlwind Vegetable Packaging Method.]

"Whoosh whoosh whoosh————"

In the sky, the Gluttony dropped hundreds of huge, transparent gravity field spheres.

These spheres landed in the orc horde, instantly generating a tremendous suction force.

"Waaaaaah!!"

Those green-skinned creatures that were still fighting each other were sucked into the ball in droves, like dust being vacuumed up.

Each ball can hold thousands of green-skinned creatures.

They were huddled together inside the ball, face to face, butt to butt.

It's like... bags of green peppers that have just been bagged in the supermarket.

……

"Gently! Gently!"

Swann piloted the transport plane, using its massive robotic arm to grab these "vegetable balls" and load them into the Gluttony's cargo hold.

"Don't squeeze it and break it!"

"The boss said this batch is top grade and will fetch a good price!"

……

Spore recovery.

Besides capturing them alive.

Jiang Li hadn't forgotten the most important point.

Sustainable development.

"Stukov".

Jiang Li connected with the lieutenant general who was collecting samples on the ground.

"Those... spores on the ground."

"How's it going?"

When an Orc dies (or is injured), it releases spores that burrow into the soil and will sprout a new brood of Greenskin the following year.

This is also why the Armageddon Wars never seem to end.

"Don't worry, boss."

Stukov was holding a device that looked like a vacuum cleaner (it was actually a modified psionic absorber).

"We're not just recycling."

"We are still conducting...selective breeding."

Stukov pointed to the medics behind him.

They were spraying a... golden liquid into the ground (diluted Nurgle Brine + Xel'Naga Soup).

"This nutrient solution..."

"So that the green skin that grows next year..."

"It has a crisper texture, finer fibers, and..."

"No longer aggressive (the berserk segment in the Waaagh! gene has been removed)."

"In other words..."

Stukov laughed.

"We're clearing away the wild weeds here..."

"Domesticated into...domesticated vegetables."

……

Arrek's fury (and confusion).

This scene completely shattered Arek's psychological defenses.

"What are they doing?!"

"They're fertilizing the orcs' land?!"

"This is utter heresy!"

"This is aiding the enemy!"

Arek drew his explosive pistol from his waist, ready to rush down and stop the lunatics.

But at that moment...

Tula's communications came through.

[Communication: Supreme Authority - Commander of the Forbidden Army.]

"Commissar Arreek."

Trajan's voice, though tinged with helplessness, carried an undeniable air of authority.

"Put down your gun."

"That is... the Emperor's decree."

"Wh...what?"

Arek was stunned.

"The Emperor's... decree?"

"Yes."

Trajan seemed to be sighing.

"The Emperor said..."

"Since we can't kill them all."

"Then... we'll grow some good quality ones and save them to eat slowly."

"This is called... build high walls, store up grain, and delay declaring yourself king."

Arek: "..."

This veteran dedicated his life to the empire.

At this moment.

Watching the medics happily "fertilizing" the battlefield.

Suddenly I realized...

All the battles I fought in my life... were for nothing.

……

A greater crisis: the prophet's intuition.

Just as the Shenlan Agricultural Brigade was working enthusiastically.

The other side of Amagiton.

On a vast wasteland shrouded in a green psionic storm.

This is where Amagiton's biggest Waaagh! main force is gathered.

Surrounded by countless green-skinned animals.

Sitting there is a...god.

The Bonebreaker, as his name suggests, is Salaka.

He was a prophet who brought down Mao Zedong.

It is the strongest, largest, and greenest orc in the entire galaxy.

Its body is encased in thick, high-tech powered armor, standing over five meters tall, like a mobile fortress.

at this time.

It is resting with its eyes closed (actually, it is chatting with Brother Mao).

Sudden.

It opened its eyes.

A flicker of unprecedented confusion flashed in those red eyes.

……

"I'm thinking..."

Salaka scratched its iron skull, which was reinforced with adamantite.

It sensed it.

The Waaagh! field over Hades's hive... has changed.

It was originally filled with anger, killing, and passion.

But now.

The scent emanating from that force field...

It turned into...

Garlic flavor?

Sesame oil flavor?

There's also a... smell of smashed cucumber?

……

"Brother Mao is above."

Salaka stood up, and the huge hydraulic piston roared.

"This isn't right!"

"That's my little brother!"

"How did they turn into...this taste?"

"Could it be...?"

A startling idea flashed through Salaka's mind.

"Could it be that the shrimps (humans)...?"

"They've invented... a super gun that can turn green-skinned creatures into delicious treats?!"

……

"WAAAGH!!!"

Salaka raised its massive power claw (known as the "Claw of the Gulch").

"You little brats!!"

"There's a lot of fun stuff in Hades!!"

"There's a really amazing shrimp! He can make us...delicious!!"

"Walk!!"

"Let's go check it out!!"

"If only he could make me taste good too..."

"Then I'll...eat him!!"

……

"Rumble—"

With Salaka's command.

The hundreds of millions of green-skinned soldiers, like a green tsunami, changed direction.

Towards Hades's lair...

Towards the Gluttony...

They came rushing in.

……

A chef's intuition.

Hades' Nest City Battlefield.

Jiang Li is loading the last few bags of "green vegetable balls" onto the ship.

Suddenly, he stopped what he was doing.

He turned his head.

Look towards the horizon.

There.

A sandstorm rose up, obscuring the sky and the sun.

A green psionic storm, ten thousand times more powerful than the Iron Jaw from before, is approaching.

In that storm.

It is full of wildness, cunning, and... a pure, extreme "I think" power.

……

"Oh ho."

Jiang Li narrowed his eyes.

His gluttonous eyes pierced through the dust.

I saw that huge steel figure running at the very front.

[Ingredient: Orc Prophet Salaka the Bonebreaker.]

[Rank: Galaxy Top-Tier Ingredient / God-Selected.]

[Characteristic: Its flesh is no longer just a plant.]

It is... a perfect symbiosis of plants and metal.

[Review: This is an iron-skinned walnut... that has been roasted by ten thousand years of war and absorbed countless Waaagh! energies.]

……

"Iron-skinned walnuts?"

Jiang Li smiled.

He tucked the Occam's razor back into his belt.

then.

From the space bag.

He pulled out a... huge, black, and oppressive... hammer.

Those were kitchen utensils he hastily crafted in the Temple of Urna using leftover scraps and divine crystals.

[Kitchenware: Thor's Hammer (Kitchen Edition)]

[Purpose: Specifically used for...cracking walnuts.]

……

"Ergou! Dasheng!"

Jiang Li shouted to his companions who were cleaning up the battlefield.

"Don't pick up those rotten leaves!"

"The real main course..."

"They delivered themselves right to my doorstep!"

"Ready!"

"We need to..."

"We cracked the walnuts!"