I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Cybertron, the Rusty Sea Plain.

"Die! You blasphemer!!"

Megatron doesn't waste words.

As the ruthless leader of the Decepticons, he believes in absolute power and fear. Since this human dares to drink Starscream like a beverage, it proves he's a madman.

The best way to deal with a madman is... to vaporize him.

"Buzz—!!"

Megatron's signature weapon on his right arm—the Fusion Cannon—can be instantly charged to its maximum power.

Purple antimatter energy spheres converged at the muzzle, distorting the surrounding space due to high-energy radiation and emitting crackling electrical explosions.

"boom!!!"

A thick, purple beam of light, powerful enough to pierce through the armor of an interstellar warship, carrying the intent to destroy everything, shot straight at Jiang Li's face.

……

"Good firepower."

Faced with this close-range blow.

Jiang Li neither dodged nor used Occam's Razor to block.

He simply shouted something behind him:

"Swann! Take over!"

"Alright! The giant living metal wok... Here we go!"

"Clang!!"

A huge, black cauldron with a stream of eerie green data flowing across its surface (made from scraps of the skeleton of the space necromancer overlord Trazin) was violently hurled in front of Jiang Li by the mechanical arm.

Jiang Li gripped the pot handle with one hand.

A flick of the wrist.

"when------!!"

The terrifying fusion cannon beam slammed solidly into the bottom of the pot.

There was no explosion.

There was no backlash.

That pot... it lit up.

[Item: Necromancer Living Metal Wok.]

【Features: 99.9% energy absorption rate / MAX thermal conductivity.】

[Current Status: Preheating... Temperature 3000℃... 5000℃... Perfect stir-fry temperature!]

……

"good."

Jiang Li looked at the pot bottom, which had instantly turned bright red, and nodded in satisfaction.

"It saves me the trouble of wasting chili oil on preheating."

"This furnace (Megatron)..."

"The fire's blazing hot."

……

"What?!"

Megatron's red electronic eyes suddenly contracted.

His prized fusion cannon was actually absorbed by... a pot?

And that human... was still laughing?

"You're humiliating me!!"

Megatron was enraged.

He abandoned ranged attacks and activated the thrusters on his back.

"Snap!"

A high-energy chain hammer (Energon Mace) gleaming coldly extended from his left hand.

"Since the beam isn't working..."

"Then try... what it's like to be physically crushed!!"

Megatron transformed into a silver lightning bolt and charged towards Jiang Li.

……

"Melee combat?"

Jiang Li placed the scalding hot pot on the ground.

He pulled out the chainsaw knife that McCann had given him.

"For someone like you..."

"The old canned food was thick-skinned, tough, and a bit moldy (rusty)."

"It is indeed necessary..."

"Pound it to loosen it first, then slice it."

……

[Culinary Skill: Cybertronian - Violent Disassembly - Deboning Method.]

"when!!!"

The chain hammer and the kitchen knife collided in mid-air.

Sparks flew everywhere.

Megatron possessed immense power, being capable of tearing apart jazz with his bare hands.

But Jiang Li's power... is enhanced by the Gluttony Godhood.

"Open it... for me!!"

Jiang Li flipped his wrist.

The gears on the chainsaw spun wildly, emitting a sharp sawing sound.

"Sizzle sizzle sizzle sizzle————"

Megatron's indestructible Cybertronian alloy chain hammer was actually severed by this one strike...

The huge hammerhead flew out like a meteor hammer.

It crashed into the sound wave in the distance (Sound wave: Why me again?).

……

"It's not over yet!"

Jiang Li took a step forward and lunged forward.

The kitchen knife in his hand transformed into a silver storm.

"First strike! Remove the armor!"

"brush!"

The thick Decepticon emblem plate on Megatron's chest was neatly cut off.

"Second cut! Cut the oil pipeline!"

"brush!"

The hydraulic hoses on Megatron's arm were severed, and purple energy fluid gushed out.

"The third cut! A little grooming!"

"Swish, swish, swish!"

Megatron's helmet ridges had been flattened, making it look...much more rounded.

……

"Aaaaaah!!"

Megatron retreated several steps.

He looked at the parts scattered all over the floor and the huge hole in his chest.

The processors were trembling.

This isn't a battle.

This is clearly... disassembly!

Moreover, it's the kind of assembly line disassembly that's so skilled that it's as if they've disassembled ten thousand machines!

"Who...who are you?!"

Megatron clutched his chest and roared in terror.

……

"I am the cook."

Jiang Li used the tip of his knife to pick up a piece of Megatron's armor.

Throw it into your mouth.

"Crunch."

Chew it thoroughly.

"Um……"

"It's a bit bitter."

"It seems you usually hold too much resentment."

"This kind of meat..."

"It has to be...heavy oil and very spicy."

……

Stir-frying begins.

"Swan! Take it off the heat!"

"Ergou! Suck on him!"

"Woof!"

Er Gou activated the gravitational magnetic field again.

Megatron felt his body sink and involuntarily flew towards the living metal cauldron.

"No!! Let me go!!"

"I am Megatron! I am the King of the Decepticons!!"

"Go inside!"

Jiang Li kicked out.

"Bang!"

They kicked Megatron straight into the pot.

At this point, the temperature at the bottom of the pot had reached several thousand degrees (from the energy charged by that shot).

Megatron went into the pot.

"Sizzle—"

It's like throwing a piece of frozen meat into a hot oil pan.

The metallic paint on his body instantly bubbled and peeled off.

……

"Introduce the ingredients!"

Jiang Li took out several huge jars from his spatial bag.

"First ingredient: Aged brine (adds a corrosive flavor and softens metals)!"

"Splash!"

"Second ingredient: Kornafur chili oil (to add a pungent flavor and refresh the mind)!"

"Splash!"

"The third ingredient: Spark Source Powder (activates metallic activity and locks in the soul)!"

Jiang Li crushed a tiny fragment of the Fire Source and sprinkled it in.

……

The sublimation of the soul.

"Awooooooo!!"

Megatron was tumbling in the pot.

He wanted to climb out.

But Jiang Li, holding that huge spatula (also a gift from McCann), pressed him back down again and again.

"Don't move!"

"Flip it over!"

"It's flavorful! It's flavorful, you know?!"

……

As the spark powder was sprinkled in.

A miracle happened.

Megatron's originally cold, mechanical body was cooked with red oil and divine power.

Something extraordinary happened... a qualitative change occurred.

He felt his own spark burning.

An unprecedented feeling of power (or perhaps deliciousness) welled up inside me.

His previously rusty joints became smooth.

His aging processor became clear.

Even though he was fired.

But he felt... that he was evolving?

……

The Autobots watched.

far away.

Optimus Prime and the Autobots remained motionless in their previous positions.

On Bumblebee's radio, a Peking Opera performance from Earth was playing:

*“Ding ding ding ding dang—(drumbeats)”*

"Big brother..."

Ironhide swallowed a mouthful of saliva (coolant).

"That's Megatron..."

"Megatron, who fought us for millions of years..."

"Just like that... you got fired?"

"and……"

Jazz pushed up his goggles.

"Can you smell it?"

"It smells so good..."

"Is that... the smell of braised Megatron?"

……

Optimus Prime remained silent.

His blue electronic eyes were fixed on the spatula in Jiang Li's hand.

And the old rival in the pot, whose "screams" are turning into "groans".

He suddenly realized.

This outsider named "Deep Blue"

The so-called "modification of Cybertron"...

I'm not kidding.

He really... can turn this place into a cafeteria.

……

out of the pot.

Five minutes later.

Reduce the sauce!

Jiang Li shouted loudly.

The red oil in the pot was instantly absorbed by Megatron's body.

"Take it out of the pan and plate it!"

Jiang Li used a shovel to lift it up.

"Clang!"

A brand new Megatron, its entire body a translucent golden-red, exuding a rich fragrance, and even its surface gleaming with a crispy sheen, landed on the ground.

……

"Huff... huff..."

Megatron lay on the ground, panting heavily.

He stood up.

I looked at my hands.

"This power..."

He clenched his fist.

"boom!"

An air explosion.

He feels that he is in three times better condition than he was at his peak!

and……

He licked the corner of his mouth (even though it was made of iron).

"It smells so good..."

"I smell so good..."

……

"How's it going, Old Wei?"

Jiang Li held the shovel and looked at him with a smile.

"This [Stir-fried Megatron]..."

Are you satisfied?

……

Megatron's choice.

Megatron looked at Jiang Li.

The red light in his eyes flickered erratically.

According to the Decepticons' logic, now that he's stronger, he should fight back.

but……

His spark told him.

If you dare to make a move.

Next time... it won't be stir-fried.

Perhaps...steamed? Or deep-fried?

The deep-seated fear of being "cooked" completely overwhelmed his ambition.

……

"you……"

Megatron took a deep breath (inhaling his own scent).

"You win."

"Decepticons..."

He turned to look at his men, some lying on the bottom of the pot, others hiding in the distance.

"Decepticons, heed my command!!"

"Starting today!!"

"We are no longer the conquerors!!"

"We are...food suppliers!!"

"Anyone who doesn't wash themselves properly! I'll personally throw them into the pot!!"

……

"very good."

Jiang Li clapped his hands in satisfaction.

"It seems the persuasion has been successful."

He turned to look at Optimus Prime.

"Big Pillar".

"The ingredients here are all taken care of."

Where is your delivery team?

……

Optimus Prime sighed.

He looked at his old rival, who had completely succumbed to the spiciness (becoming spicy).

It was forced to deform.

"Autobots..."

"Transform! Roll out!"

"Go...deliver takeout."

……

The real crisis: the awakening of the planet.

Just as the Cybertronian civil war was about to end in a "happy ending" manner.

"Rumble rumble rumble ————————"

Deep in the earth.

A chilling tremor rippled through the air.

This tremor was different from the previous battles.

It is... a heartbeat.

The entire planet Cybertron began to tremble violently.

Huge cracks spread across the ground, spewing forth green fel lightning.

A muffled roar echoed from countless abandoned underground passages.

……

[Alert! Planetary life form detected!]

[Energy Level: Immeasurable (Multiverse-level Divinity)!]

[Identifying characteristics: God of Chaos / Devourer / The ultimate nightmare of Transformers.]

[Real Name: Unicron]

……

"What's going on?!"

Megatron, who had just surrendered, almost lost his footing.

"This aura..."

"It's the legendary... Chaos God of Destruction?!"

"Isn't he asleep?"

Optimus Prime's expression also changed.

"Could it be because..."

He looked at the fragment of the Fire Source in Jiang Li's hand.

"The activation of the Spark Source... coupled with that... massive energy surge just now..."

Did you... wake him up?

……

Planetary deformation.

"roar--------!!"

A roar powerful enough to shatter the stars came from the Earth's core.

Followed by.

The other side of Cybertron.

The earth's crust began to rise.

Two... massive mechanical arms, as huge as mountains, burst forth from the ground.

A gaping maw of abyss, capable of devouring everything, opened on the earth's surface.

"Who is it...?"

Unicron's voice echoed in the minds of all the Transformers.

"Who's on my face...?"

"Stir-fried dishes?!?"

"It smells so good..."

"But it's so noisy!!"

"I'm going to...eat you all!!"

……

The chef's excitement.

Faced with this planetary giant that is transforming and trying to devour everyone.

All the Transformers were plunged into despair.

Even if Megatron and Optimus Prime joined forces, they would be nothing more than two ants in front of Unicron.

but.

There was a person.

Not only did they not panic, but they also remained calm.

Instead... he started drooling.

……

"A Transformer as big as a planet?"

Jiang Li stood at the bow of the Gluttony.

Looking at that colossal object that was slowly rising up and obscuring the entire starry sky.

His Gluttony Eyes were activated at full power.

[Ingredient: Unicron.]

[Level: Multiverse Level]

[Ingredients: Chaotic dark energy + top-grade planetary metals + cosmic-level resentment.]

[Shape: Round (planetary shape) -> Humanoid.]

……

"Round..."

"And it's made of... grain (metal)..."

"It will also expand (deform)..."

In Jiang Li's mind.

Instantly, a dish came to mind... the ultimate childhood delicacy.

He turned around.

He gave a fanatical smile to the group of trembling Autobots and Decepticons behind him.

"Everyone."

Have you ever seen... popcorn?

……

"Popcorn?"

Optimus Prime was stunned.

……

"That's right."

Jiang Li raised the fragment of the Fire Source in his hand.

He then pointed to the cosmic emperor who was awakening.

"Since it's so big, so round, and has such great internal pressure..."

"Then if we don't..."

"Burst it out."

"Isn't that a real shame?"

……

[Cooking Preview: Planet-Level Old-Fashioned Popcorn Machine - Popping Popcorn.]

Jiang Li shouted into the communicator:

"Swann! Turn all engines to maximum power!"

"Ergou! Prepare the biggest pocket (black hole space)!"

"We want to take this planet..."

"Put it in the pot!"

"Then……"

"Bang!!"

"Please, entire universe..."

"Eat popcorn!!"