I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

A dimensional rift, a hyperspace tunnel leading to Cybertron.

【Deep Blue Gluttonous Leviathan】is dog-paddle forward in a manner that defies aerodynamics and the common sense of physics, amidst the colorful turbulent flow of spacetime.

The reason it's called "dog paddle" is because Er Gou (Yin Yang Devouring Dog) is lying on the bow of the ship, using his two huge front paws to paddle through space and time, acting as the navigator.

Inside the ship's cabin, a heated debate is taking place in the kitchen of the Deep Blue Dining Hall.

"Boss, something's not right."

Tex, wearing his Thor armor that had been marinated in red oil, was picking his teeth with a toothpick (actually a Leviathan bone spur).

"We just ate the Crimson King cake. It was a bit sweet, but at least it was within the range that carbon-based life forms could understand."

"Now you're taking us to eat... iron?"

Tex tapped the newly made living metal cleaver in front of him.

"I admit this knife is good, but my teeth... can't chew a Gundam."

……

"shallow."

Jiang Li was adjusting the fragment of the Spark Source in his hand.

The dark blue cube fragment emanated a vibrant pulse in his hand, as if it contained countless tiny souls.

"Who said we were going to have to eat sheet metal raw?"

Jiang Li rolled her eyes at Tex.

"In the eyes of discerning diners, there are no 'inedible' ingredients, only 'unsuitable' cooking methods."

Jiang Li pointed to the fragment in his hand.

What is the essence of Transformers?

"It's Spark."

"It's Energon."

"That sheet metal is just the outer packaging."

"Like...canned food."

Jiang Li made a gesture as if opening a can.

"We're going there this time to drink... high-energy motor oil beverages and eat... crispy metal wafers."

"and……"

Jiang Li smiled mysteriously.

"I have divine cooking utensils given to me by the god of shattering, McCann, and a living metal pot given to me by the necromantic overlord, Trazan."

"In addition, this spark source acts as 'yeast'."

"I'm planning to develop a new dish..."

"It's called... [Active Metal - Wire-Pulling Megatron]."

……

[System notification: Approaching the target universe.]

[Coordinate identification: Cybertron.]

[Environmental Analysis: All-metal planet / Thin atmosphere / Extremely high energy radiation.]

[Current Status: In the midst of a civil war (Autobots vs. Decepticons).]

……

Above the Rust Sea on Cybertron.

"BOOM—!!"

The once lifeless, leaden-gray sky suddenly shattered like a mirror.

A gigantic, bizarre warship with tentacles and armor, carrying a huge black cauldron on its back, barged into this all-metal world, leaving a trail of sparks and lightning in its wake.

Its enormous shadow instantly covered the wasteland below, composed of scrap metal and rust.

"Slurp—"

As soon as Er Gou showed his face, he took a deep breath of Cybertronian air.

"Woof!"

(Boss! There's a strong rusty smell! It smells a bit like... spoiled blood tofu?)

"That smells like industrial waste gas."

Jiang Li stood at the bow of the ship, looking down at the planet riddled with holes.

Everywhere were enormous metal towers, some collapsed, others still spewing exhaust fumes. Glowing blue rivers (liquid energy) flowed across the ground—the lifeblood of this planet.

Cybertron…

Jiang Li sighed.

"A dying planet."

"Because it was... hollowed out."

"but……"

Jiang Li's Gluttony Eyes lit up.

He saw the energy veins flowing underground, and the high-energy reaction sources that were moving.

"For us..."

"This place is simply... an all-you-can-eat restaurant overflowing with oil."

……

"Warning! Unidentified flying object detected!"

Just as the Gluttony came to a complete stop.

Above the clouds came the sharp sound of jet engines.

Three sleek, brightly painted F-15 fighter jets (Cybertron form) swooped down, accompanied by sonic boom clouds.

The lead aircraft was painted in red, white, and blue, and its flight posture was extremely arrogant.

That was Starscream, the Decepticon's air commander.

Following behind were his two best friends: Thundercracker and Skywarp.

……

"What is that?"

Red Spider screamed over the communication channel, its voice sharp and piercing.

"A...flesh-covered spaceship?"

"Ugh—that's disgusting! It's garbage from an organic life form!"

"They must have hired outside help from the Autobots!"

The red spider transformed.

"Kakakuku—"

He instantly transformed from fighter jet mode into robot mode in mid-air, and the null ray guns on his arms began to charge.

"Decepticons! Attack!"

"Blast this lump of rotten flesh into dust!"

"This is my greatest achievement, Lord Starscream! That old fogey Megatron will definitely look at me with new respect!"

……

"Sizzle s ...————"

Three purple high-energy rays accurately struck the Gluttony's...big black cauldron (necromantic metal cauldron).

"when!"

A crisp sound.

The rays were deflected.

Not a single drop of paint came off.

……

"Um?"

Jiang Li was grooming Er Gou when she heard the noise and looked up.

"Where did these flies come from?"

"Oh, it's a red spider."

Jiang Li looked at the robot that was flying around in the air and chattering away.

"This is... a rare ingredient."

"It is said that its fire..."

"Does it reek of betrayal and ambition?"

"The spark of this personality..."

"It must taste...very sour and refreshing (like lemon)."

……

"Er Gou" (Second Dog).

Jiang Li patted Er Gou's head.

"No need to breathe fire."

"These are all sheet metal; they'll easily get blackened by flames and won't look good."

"Use... a magnet."

"Woof?"

Er Gou tilted his head.

It remembered the Blackrock Fortress it had swallowed before (although it had expelled the energy, the core was still being digested inside its belly).

[Skill: Black Stone - Gravitational Magnetic Field - Super Magnet Mode.]

……

"Buzz—!!"

Er Gou opened his mouth.

An invisible yet incredibly powerful magnetic wave, capable of distorting space itself, was released towards the three Red Spiders in the air.

……

"What's going on?!"

Red Spider, who was preparing for the second round of shooting, suddenly felt his body sink.

His flight system malfunctioned.

His hydraulic joints went out of control.

An irresistible force pulled him toward that strange ship.

"No! My navigation system!"

"Thunderclap! Help me!"

"Outrageous! Teleport, you idiot!"

Just as Naofantian was about to activate his teleportation ability, he discovered that the magnetic field was interfering with his spatial coordinates.

"I can't move either! Red Spider!"

……

"Clang! Clang! Clang!"

Three loud bangs.

The arrogant Decepticon aerial trio.

It's like an iron nail being attracted by a magnet.

Neatly and neatly... it adhered to the bottom of the Gluttony's enormous necromantic cauldron.

Forming a large character shape.

It can't be buttoned off.

……

"Let me go!!"

The red spider was stuck to the bottom of the pot, its face was flattened, and it was still screaming.

"Do you know who I am?!"

"I am the future leader of Cybertron! I am Lord Starscream!"

"You lowly organic creature! When Megatron arrives... no, when I become the leader, I will definitely..."

……

"Shut up."

Jiang Li walked over, carrying a huge can opener (made from a chainsaw kitchen knife).

He stood next to the red spider's head.

He tapped on the Red Spider's proud wing.

"Knock knock".

"Hmm, Cybertronian alloy."

"It's a bit rusty, but it's still quite hard."

Jiang Li examined the red spider's body structure as if he were selecting canned goods in a supermarket.

"This is... the cockpit (although no one is piloting it)."

"This is... an energy conduit."

"This is... the Tinder Chamber."

Jiang Li aimed the tip of the can opener at the red spider's chest.

……

"What...what are you going to do?!"

Red Spider finally panicked.

His red electronic eyes were flashing wildly.

He felt... fear.

The way this human was looking at him wasn't like he was looking at an enemy.

Instead, they were looking at... a can of Coke that was about to expire.

"No...don't do it!"

"We can talk!"

"I have intelligence! I know Megatron's weakness! I know the Autobots' base!"

"I can even show you the way!"

……

"Tsk."

Jiang Li shook his head.

"As expected... it tastes from the heart."

"but……"

"I don't want intelligence."

Jiang Li pried it open with force.

"Snap!"

A gap was pried open in the armor plate on Red Spider's chest.

The energy liquid pipelines inside, emitting a purple glow, were exposed.

"I'm just... thirsty."

……

"Ergou, bring me a straw."

"Woof!"

Er Gou handed over a huge root of the World Tree (to be used as a straw).

Jiang Li inserted the roots into the red spider's energy pipeline.

"Slurp—"

Jiang Li took a sip.

"Well……"

His brow relaxed.

"It tastes good."

"It's kind of like... a carbonated grape-flavored energy drink."

"It just has a lot of impurities."

"This engine oil needs changing, old red."

……

"Aaaaaaahhhhh!!"

Red Spider felt its energy rapidly draining away.

That's his life force!

It was drunk!

It was drunk like a beverage!

This is a million times more humiliating than being beaten up by Megatron!

……

"stop!!"

Just as Jiang Li was about to try the other two (Thunderclap and Chaos) to see what they tasted like.

On the horizon.

A heavy engine roar came from behind.

"Rumble rumble rumble—"

A red and blue heavy truck, leading a convoy of various vehicles, sped by, kicking up dust.

Five hundred meters away from the Gluttony.

The truck suddenly deformed.

"Cool, ka ka—"

Countless parts were flipped and reassembled.

A tall, blue and red metal giant wearing a mask stands on the earth.

He held an ion burst gun, his blue electronic eyes flashing with the light of justice and perseverance.

Optimus Prime.

The leader of the Autobots.

And behind him.

Bumblebee, Ironhide, Jazz, and other Autobots also transformed and raised their weapons.

……

"An unknown outsider".

Optimus Prime's voice was deep and magnetic, carrying throughout the venue through the loudspeakers.

"I am Optimus Prime."

"Although the Red Spider is our enemy."

"But we cannot stand idly by and watch this...cruel...cannibalism."

Optimus Prime looked at Starscream, whose eyes were rolling back in his head from being sucked in, and his processor was getting a little hot.

He fought wars his whole life.

I've seen enemies shattered, melted, and dismantled.

But I've never seen anyone... drink directly from a straw.

"Please let him go."

"Freedom belongs to all sentient beings."

"Even Decepticons shouldn't be reduced to... beverages."

……

"free?"

Jiang Li loosened the straw (Red Spider lay limp at the bottom of the pot, like a Tetra Pak that had been drunk dry).

He turned around and looked down at Optimus Prime.

"Big Pillar".

"Long time no see (in the movie)."

Jiang Li wiped the energy liquid from the corner of his mouth.

"you're right."

"All living beings have freedom."

"for example……"

"I have the freedom to eat."

"And him..."

Jiang Li pointed at the red spider.

"The freedom to make food taste better."

……

That's sophistry!

The hot-tempered Tin Man couldn't hold back any longer.

He raised the cannon on his arm.

"Dude! Why waste your breath talking to this monster!"

"Look at that ship! It looks like a tentacle monster! It's definitely not a good thing!"

"Take this!"

"boom!"

A high-explosive shell was fired at Jiang Li.

……

"Why."

Jiang Li sighed.

"Why is the greeting from every universe always a cannonball?"

"Can't you come up with something new?"

He didn't move.

Because someone moved.

"For...for...for the tribe! No, for the cafeteria!"

Sun Wukong (wearing golden chainmail and wielding a golden cudgel) descended from the sky.

"when!"

The shell was knocked away with a single blow.

The shell traced an arc in the air.

It landed precisely at the feet of... Soundwave, who was secretly observing from afar.

"boom!"

The sound wave tape army was blown up and sent flying everywhere.

……

"monkey?!"

Tin Man was dumbfounded.

"Are there carbon-based life forms on this planet?"

"And it's a...metal monkey?"

(In the Cybertronian environment, Wukong's Dharma form automatically adapts to a metallic texture.)

……

"Don't do it!"

Optimus Prime stopped Ironhide from rushing forward.

His intelligent processor told him that the group of people in front of him... were unfathomable.

That monkey that can send cannonballs flying with a single blow.

That big dog that can suck up three jets in one go.

And that man... holding a fragment of the AllSpark.

and many more!

The spark?!

Optimus Prime's electronic eye focused instantly.

They locked onto the blue cube fragment in Jiang Li's hand.

"That...that is..."

Optimus Prime's voice trembled.

"Fragments of the Spark?"

"Didn't it disappear on...Tiger (Earth)?"

"Why is it in your hands?"

……

"This one?"

Jiang Li tossed the shards in his hand.

"I found it."

"but……"

Jiang Li looked at Optimus Prime and gave a businessman's smile.

"Since you want it so badly..."

"We can... make a deal."

……

"What kind of deal?"

"Optimus Prime asked warily."

……

"It's very simple."

Jiang Li pointed to this desolate Cybertronian wasteland.

"I'm a chef."

"I think this place..."

"Abundant metal resources and ample energy."

"It would be perfect to open a... barbecue restaurant."

"But I need a few... assistants."

Jiang Li's gaze swept over Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, and Ironhide.

"You Autobots are all strong and healthy, and you can even transform."

"Perfect for being... a food delivery driver."

"and……"

Jiang Li then pointed to the red spider that was still alive.

"Those Decepticons over there, although they're not exactly decent people."

"But if it's used as...food (like a source of engine oil)."

"It's barely acceptable."

……

"so……"

Jiang Li raised the fragment of the Spark Source.

"If you're willing to help me..."

"Take this planet..."

"Transform it into the [Deep Blue Cybertron Self-Service Food City]".

"I'll just take this fragment..."

"I'm lending it to you so you can revive this planet."

"How is it?"

"This deal..."

"Is it a good deal?"

……

The entire room fell silent.

Optimus Prime was stunned.

The radio of Bumblebee started playing the sound of a cassette tape.

Even the red spider stuck to the bottom of the pot forgot to groan.

Transform Cybertron into a food court?

Using Transformers as food delivery drivers?

Using Decepticons as food?

This script...

Primus (the creator god of Transformers) didn't write about it either!

……

"absurd!!"

A roar broke the silence.

A huge black cloud is gathering in the sky.

A silver figure descended from the dark clouds.

He held the Fusion Cannon in his hand, his eyes burning with a savage red light.

Megatron.

The leader of the Decepticons.

He finally arrived.

"Nobody's here!"

"We can eat the Decepticons!"

"Give me the Spark!!"

"otherwise……"

"I'll tear your ridiculous ship... to shreds!!"

……

"Oh ho."

Jiang Li looked at Megatron, who was now exuding an aura of power.

I wasn't afraid.

Instead... he swallowed.

He turned to Swan and shouted:

"Swan!!"

"Quickly heat up my... [living metal wok]!"

"The real main course (a large can of food)..."

"They're here!"

"Remember! This is important..."

"Stir-fry!!"