I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Original Earth, City C, Xingfuli Community (an old residential area).

As the sun sets, the evening glow paints this vibrant city in orange-red hues.

Despite its name, "Xingfuli" is a typical old and dilapidated residential complex. The utility poles are covered with small posters for unclogging drains, and the garbage cans downstairs constantly emit a fermented, sour smell.

Aunt Wang, 55 years old, is the most powerful landlady in this community and the lead dancer of the square dance. At this moment, she is in a state of worldview collapse.

The black garbage bag in her hand fell to the ground, revealing half a watermelon rind.

Because it's above her head.

The colossal warship (Gluttonous Leviathan), which blots out the sky, looks like a giant beetle carrying a black pot, and radiates a divine light brighter than neon lights, is hovering on the roof of Unit 3, Building 6.

"My God..."

Grandma Wang adjusted her reading glasses, her lips trembling.

"Is this... aliens coming to demolish our property?"

"That's not right! The demolition office didn't notify us!"

……

"Oops."

On the spaceship, Jiang Li looked down at Grandma Wang, who was so frightened she was about to dial 110 (the police emergency number), and slapped his forehead.

"Used to roaming the universe like it's nothing..."

"I forgot about this ship... it's a bit big."

"and……"

Jiang Li pointed to the dripping Azathoth soup (golden energy liquid) on the belly of the spaceship.

"If this stuff drips down..."

"This neighborhood could probably mutate directly into a monster forest."

……

"Shrink!"

Jiang Li snapped his fingers.

[Rule Modification: Body Size Compressed.]

"Buzz—"

The enormous Gluttonous Leviathan rapidly shrank amidst a distortion of space.

It went from being a colossal ship that blotted out the sky to the size of a truck, and then to the size of a car.

At last.

It turned into a... tiny, exquisite, black beetle model, no bigger than the palm of your hand.

"Clatter".

The model landed in Jiang Li's palm.

……

"Done."

Jiang Li put the spaceship into his pocket (actually, it was his personal subspace).

then.

He took Alice's hand.

With Er Gou (who now looks like an ordinary husky, except his fur is a bit too shiny).

And then there's Sun Wukong, who turned into a golden embroidery needle hidden in his ear.

And... Tex (Thor's mech) turned into a red lighter.

It floated down lightly... right in front of Aunt Wang.

……

This single glance spanned countless light-years.

Jiang Li was wearing the faded T-shirt he had bought before setting off (although it had been repaired by divine power), and a pair of flip-flops on his feet.

He stared at the dumbfounded middle-aged woman in front of him.

He flashed a bright, down-to-earth smile.

"Aunt Wang!"

"Long time no see!"

Have you had dinner?

……

"Jiang...Jiang Li?!"

Aunt Wang rubbed her eyes.

She recognized the young man.

The tenant living in apartment 302 of building 6 is a cook. He is usually quite honest, but he is a bit poor and often falls behind on rent.

but……

Three months ago (Earth time), this kid suddenly disappeared.

There was even half a bowl of unfinished instant noodles in the room.

The police investigated and ultimately classified him as a missing person.

just now……

Did he fall from the sky?

And he was with a foreign girl who was a hundred times prettier than a TV star?

And there's another one... a dog that doesn't look like a good dog at all?

……

"you……"

Aunt Wang pointed at Jiang Li, then pointed at the sky.

"That big black pot from earlier..."

"Did you do this?"

"what?"

Jiang Li scratched his head and started to pretend to be stupid.

"What big black pot?"

"Aunt Wang, are you seeing things?"

"That's... a holographic projection!"

"Yes! I've made a fortune outside! I'm involved in high-tech stuff! That was a light show for our neighborhood!"

……

"A light show?"

Grandma Wang was skeptical.

But soon, her professional instincts overcame her curiosity.

Her expression changed instantly; she put her hands on her hips, and her demeanor transformed from that of a "frightened passerby" to that of a "rent-collecting tyrant."

"Don't give me that nonsense!"

"Jiang Li! So you finally decided to come back!"

"You've been gone for three months!"

"What about the rent?!"

"What about the water and electricity bills?!"

"And there are property management fees!!"

"Three thousand eight hundred dollars in total! Not a penny less!!"

……

God's predicament.

"Well……"

Jiang Li was stunned.

He's in the universe; he can destroy a planet with the flick of his finger.

He possesses countless artifacts, resources, and even the wealth of an entire universe.

but……

He touched his pocket.

There is no RMB.

He took out his phone (he used his divine power to charge it and connect it to the internet).

Open WeChat Pay.

[Balance: 0.52 yuan.]

……

"Cough cough."

Jiang Li coughed awkwardly twice.

"Um... Aunt Wang."

"Could you... grant me two more days?"

"I just got back, and my cash flow is a bit...tight."

……

"nervous?"

Aunt Wang gave a cold laugh.

She glanced at Alice next to Jiang Li.

Alice wore a deep blue dress made of living metal and divine silk, and around her neck hung a... shrunken fragment of the AllSpark (as a necklace).

She has a noble air, like a queen.

"No money?"

"You have no money, yet you... are keeping such a beautiful girl as a mistress?"

"If you have no money, why are you... keeping such a fat dog?"

Aunt Wang pointed at Er Gou.

Er Gou was drooling over the trash can (he smelled the expired sausage inside).

"Woof!"

(This looks delicious...)

……

"This isn't being kept! This is..."

Jiang Li was speechless and unable to defend himself.

"This is my...cousin!"

"Yes! My distant cousin!"

"Alright!"

Grandma Wang waved her hand.

"Either pay up, or get lost!"

"I'm already planning to put my house up for rent!"

……

Bartering.

Jiang Li sighed.

"It seems... we'll have to use our reserves."

He rummaged in his pocket.

He pulled out a...stone that was emitting a blue light.

He found it on Cybertron.

A high-purity energy crystal.

"Aunt Wang, this..."

"no."

Jiang Li shook his head.

"This thing emits too much radiation; if you get it, you'll mutate."

He then pulled out another piece... a golden bone.

Those are the bones of the Tyrant of the Terran.

"this……"

"That won't work either, these things will get infested with bugs."

……

"What junk are you rummaging through?"

Aunt Wang was getting impatient.

"Got it."

Jiang Li finally found himself in the corner of the pocket (the subspace rift).

I touched a... transparent, sparkling stone, only the size of a fingernail.

That was when he was making crystal shrimp dumplings in the Three-Body universe.

A fragment of a diamond planet crushed with the Golden Cudgel...

Purity: 100%.

Hardness: Cosmic level.

……

"Aunt Wang."

Jiang Li handed the stone over.

"I don't have any cash either."

"This... glass ball."

"Could you use this to offset the rent?"

……

"A glass bead?"

Aunt Wang took it with suspicion.

At sunset.

The stone refracted... a dazzling, multicolored light that was mesmerizing.

Although Aunt Wang had never seen much of the world.

But she watches treasure-hunting programs all year round.

And she was wearing a Chow Tai Fook diamond ring on her hand (although it was only the size of a sesame seed).

She took the "glass ball" and scratched it on her diamond ring.

"Sizzle."

The diamond ring I bought for 10,000 yuan... cracked.

……

"!!!"

Grandma Wang's hand trembled slightly.

I almost threw the stone.

"This...this is..."

"diamond?!"

"A diamond this big?!"

"Really?!"

……

"Fake."

Jiang Li was talking nonsense with a straight face.

"This is... a high-quality imitation South African zircon."

"Although it's fake, the cutting is quite good."

"It's worth several thousand dollars, no problem."

"If you like, you can use it as... a stone to weigh down pickled vegetables."

……

"Pickled vegetables?!"

Grandma Wang's eyes widened.

She looked at Jiang Li's nonchalant demeanor.

Her intuition told her so.

This kid... he's struck it rich.

And it was a huge windfall.

"OK!"

Aunt Wang quickly stuffed the diamond into her pocket.

"Since you're so sincere, I'll let you off the hook."

"Consider the rent paid!"

Here's the key!

"Um... do you still need the cleaning lady to clean for you?"

Their attitude made a complete 180-degree turn instantly.

……

"No need, I can do it myself."

Jiang Li took the key.

With Alice and Er Gou by my side, we entered that familiar, dilapidated residential building with peeling paint.

……

Home I haven't been home in so long.

"Click."

The old security door was opened.

A musty, dusty smell wafted over.

Room 302.

One bedroom and one living room, 40 square meters.

There was a Jay Chou poster on the wall.

On the table, there really was that half-bowl of... moldy instant noodles.

……

"Cough cough cough."

Alice covered her nose.

"Jiang Li..."

"This is...your home?"

She looked at the small, dirty, moldy place.

It's hard to associate it with the magnificent royal court of Azathoth.

"This environment..."

Data streams flashed in Alice's eyes.

"Bacteria levels exceeded the standard by 300 times."

Air quality: Poor.

Comfort level: Extremely low.

……

"You don't understand."

Jiang Li walked into the room and took a deep breath (even though it was all dusty).

"This is... the breath of life."

There's no place like home.

Jiang Li waved his hand.

[Simple Cleaning Techniques.]

"call----"

A gentle breeze blew by.

The dust, mold, and trash in the room vanished instantly.

The floor became shiny and new.

The blanket folded itself automatically.

The bowl of moldy instant noodles was also cleaned up.

……

"alright."

Jiang Li sat in the slightly wobbly chair.

"Ergou, go open the window."

"Alice, sit down."

Jiang Li pointed to the only single bed.

"This is... where we'll be staying from now on."

……

Divine dish: Braised beef noodles.

it's dark.

hungry.

Although they do not need to eat.

But for Jiang Li, not eating was worse than death.

Alice.

Jiang Li looked at the girl with a curious expression.

"Haven't you always wanted to try it...?"

"Master Kong Braised Beef Noodles?"

"today……"

"I'll make you this... the strongest dish on Earth."

……

Ingredient preparation.

Jiang Li did not go to the supermarket.

Because he's lazy.

He came directly from his personal subspace (the Gluttony's storage compartment).

He pulled out a packet of instant noodles... which he had stockpiled before time travel and which hadn't expired yet (because time had stopped)...

"Master Kong Braised Beef Noodles (Bagged)"

"Shuanghui King of Kings Ham Sausage"

"Country bumpkin braised eggs".

This is... a three-piece instant noodle set.

……

Kitchenware upgrade.

Jiang Li glanced at the rusty electric kettle.

"This thing boils water too slowly."

He pulled out that... [Necromancer Living Metal Small Milk Pot] (a miniature version of the big black pot).

"Ergou, can I borrow a light?"

"Woof!"

Er Gou spat out a mouthful of Sarnaga karmic fire, controlling it to a low flame level.

……

Cooking begins.

"water."

Jiang Li did not use tap water.

He used... the condensed vapor from the stars in the Three-Body universe (pure, sweet).

"Glug glug—"

The water has boiled.

Jiang Li tore open the instant noodle bag.

Throw the dough in.

"Sizzle—"

The dough is tumbling in the divine boiling water.

then.

It is a moment for the soul.

Jiang Li picked up the packet of sauce.

"squeeze."

The red butter sauce slid into the water.

A familiar, overpowering scent, brimming with industrial fragrance yet irresistibly alluring...

It instantly filled the entire room.

……

"It smells so good!!"

Alice came closer.

Her nose twitched.

"This is...the taste of beef?"

"This smells...much more complex than the flesh of the Tyranids?"

……

"Of course."

Jiang Li tore open the powder packet and the vegetable packet.

"Inside here..."

"But it brings together the technology and ruthless work of the human food industry."

"It is the culmination of the wisdom of countless chemists."

At last.

Jiang Li cut a sausage (using a McCann knife).

I peeled a braised egg.

Throw it into the pot.

"Put the lid on!"

"Simmer for three minutes!"

……

wait.

three minutes.

For an eternal God, it is but a fleeting moment.

But for Jiang Li and Alice at this moment...

Those three minutes... felt incredibly long.

They are waiting.

Waiting for the bread to soak up the broth, waiting for the sausage to become soft and tender.

……

"alright."

Jiang Li lifted the pot lid.

"call----"

White steam rose up.

Under the dim yellow light.

The surface of the pot was golden and translucent, with red oil floating on top.

The sausage and braised eggs lay quietly on the surface.

It exudes... the smell of home.

……

My first bite of ordinary food.

"Come."

Jiang Li took out a pair of disposable chopsticks (and broke them apart).

Hand it to Alice.

"Try it."

Alice took the chopsticks.

She awkwardly picked up a mouthful of noodles with her chopsticks.

He blew on it (imitating Jiang Li's mannerisms).

then……

"Slurp—"

Put it in your mouth.

……

"Ugh!!!"

Alice's eyes lit up instantly.

It was brighter than when she first saw the Big Bang.

"Soft! Bouncy! Smooth!"

"Salty! Fragrant! Spicy!"

"This taste..."

Alice closed her eyes and savored the moment.

"Although it doesn't have the same high-level energy as Azathoth's Buddha Jumps Over the Wall."

"but……"

"It has a kind of... reassuring magic."

"It's like..."

"The feeling of watching TV wrapped in a blanket on a cold winter night."

……

"That's right."

Jiang Li also served herself a bowl.

They started eating heartily.

"This is... the essence of human life."

"It's a small, simple happiness that the gods can never understand."

……

uninvited guest.

Just as the two people and their dog (the dog was also eating, chewing on the packaging) were enjoying this ordinary yet wonderful dinner.

"Knock knock knock".

There was a knock on the door.

It was very urgent.

It has a good rhythm.

She doesn't seem like Aunt Wang.

It's more like... someone who has been trained.

……

"Um?"

Jiang Li put down her chopsticks.

His divine sense swept across the doorway.

Three men in black suits, wearing sunglasses, and with bulging pockets (carrying guns) stood outside the door.

Downstairs.

Inside a black minivan.

An elderly man with a serious expression was sitting there, looking at a tablet computer in his hand.

on the screen.

It's the same satellite image taken before Leviathan shrank...

……

"So fast?"

Jiang Li shook his head helplessly.

"I just want to eat some noodles."

"Why is it so difficult?"

He put down the bowl.

He wiped his mouth.

Alice.

Go open the door.

"Let's see... which deity is it..."

"Come find me... to pay your property management fees."