I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Northwest desert, uninhabited highway.

The wind howled and the yellow sand filled the sky, but the loudest sounds in this world at this moment were the sickening crackling of electricity and... the sizzling of cooking oil.

"Zzzzzzz—!!!"

Liu Wei stood on the roof of the Unimog, holding the exaggeratedly designed plasma net launcher (commonly known as a high-voltage electric mosquito swatter), and unleashed a barrage of fire at the swarm of black bats swooping down from the sky.

"Come on! Come on! Let me show you what the 'Thunder and Lightning King' really means!"

Blue electric nets stretched out in the air, and the vampire bats, powerful enough to tear steel, crashed into them, instantly emitting black smoke and a burnt smell, before falling to the ground like dumplings being dropped into a pot.

"Oh! It smells so good!"

Lei Meng, carrying a large black pot on his back, stood beside the car, holding a large strainer in his hand, catching the falling roasted bats with quick reflexes.

"Perfectly cooked! Crispy on the outside and tender on the inside!"

He threw the bat he caught into the oil pan, then sprinkled it with cumin and chili powder.

"Sizzle—"

A rich aroma of barbecue instantly overpowered the smell of blood, spreading across the desert.

"Boss! This batch of 'flying squirrels' is too skinny; there's hardly any meat left after frying, it's all bones!"

Lei Meng shouted as he tossed the wok.

"It's alright! That's called 'cartilage'! It's perfect as a snack with drinks!"

Jiang Li stood in the middle of the road, holding a pig-slaughtering knife, looking up at Prince Dracula, who was suspended in mid-air with a face as black as the bottom of a pot.

"Hey! You birdbrain up there! Is that all you're capable of? Sending a swarm of mosquitoes to deliver vegetables?"

Jiang Li provocatively beckoned with his finger.

"Come down here if you dare! Let's fight one-on-one! I'll give you a handicap with one hand (actually, you can use your other hand to hold the spice bottle)!"

Dracula: "..."

He watched as his proud "Night Clan" was electrocuted in swarms like electric mosquitoes, then deep-fried on the spot by the burly man, with even the yellow dog below catching the spilled food with its mouth wide open, crunching away as it ate them one by one...

He broke down.

Is this a battle?

This looks like a barbecue party!

"Unforgivable... Absolutely unforgivable!"

A sickly flush appeared on Dracula's pale face, and blood seemed to flow from his blood-red eyes.

"You lowly Easterner! You have successfully angered a noble vampire prince!"

"I will drain your blood and turn it into an eternal, immortal blood wine!"

"Blood River Descends!"

Dracula suddenly spread his arms wide, his black cloak billowing behind him.

"Boom!"

Suddenly, a huge rift opened in the void, from which endless blood gushed forth, forming a raging river of blood, carrying a nauseating stench and corrosiveness, sweeping towards Jiang Li.

Countless wronged souls and skeletons float in this river of blood, emitting mournful screams. They are the souls of those who died at Dracula's hands over thousands of years.

This is an S-rank domain skill!

Any creature touched by the Blood River will instantly be assimilated into blood and become part of its power.

"Boss, watch out! This is a rule-based attack!"

Wang Defa shouted from inside the car, "This stuff can corrupt the soul!"

"Corrupt the soul?"

Jiang Li frowned as he looked at the overwhelming wave of blood.

"Isn't this... the broth for duck blood and vermicelli soup? It looks a bit cloudy, did you forget to skim off the foam?"

Instead of dodging, he took a step forward.

"It's such a big pot of soup, it would be a shame to waste it. Perfect, we didn't bring any soup base with us this time."

Jiang Li took out the [Gluttony Cauldron] (miniature version) from his pocket.

"Xiao Ding! Dinner's ready! We've got you an extra treat!"

He tossed the cauldron into the air.

"Buzz—"

The Cauldron of Gluttony expanded in the wind, instantly transforming into a giant cauldron with a diameter of tens of meters, hovering above the River of Blood.

A huge black vortex appeared at the mouth of the cauldron, emanating a suction force that was even more greedy and evil than the Blood River.

[Devouring Heaven and Earth!]

"Whoosh—"

That once invincible river of blood was involuntarily sucked into the cauldron, as if it had encountered a water pump.

"No! My river of blood! My power!"

Dracula was horrified to discover that his connection with the River of Blood was being severed! The cauldron seemed to contain a bottomless pit, frantically plundering his life force!

"How is that possible?! That's a divine artifact?!"

"Hehe, this is called braising tofu, one thing subdues another."

Jiang Li beckoned, and the giant cauldron shrank back to his hand.

He glanced into the cauldron.

The originally foul-smelling blood, after being refined by the Cauldron of Gluttony, transformed into a pool of crystal-clear, fragrant red liquid.

"Hmm, this should be the broth for the best Maoxuewang (Sichuan spicy blood curd)."

Jiang Li nodded in satisfaction, then looked up at Dracula, who looked completely bewildered.

"We have the soup, now we're missing a main dish."

"You look quite muscular; you must be a good cut of meat."

"Big Yellow! Stop eating! Go up and drag him down!"

"Woof!"

Big Yellow spat out the bat wing from its mouth, pushed off with its hind legs, and its body transformed into a blur, soaring directly into the sky.

Tindaros Hound's Time Jump!

Before Dracula could react, he felt a chill run down his spine.

A giant dog's head suddenly appeared behind him, its blood-red maw opening wide as it lunged at his wing.

"Get out of here! You lowly beast!"

Dracula was shocked and swung his claws out, his nails growing as long as knives.

"when!"

His claws gripped the yellow dog's skin, and sparks flew out!

This dog skin is harder than steel!

"Snap!"

Big Yellow took a big bite and tore it apart fiercely.

"ah--!!!"

Dracula screamed as a large chunk of his left wing was torn off.

Having lost his balance, he fell from the sky like a kite with a broken string.

"Chance!"

Jiang Li's eyes lit up, and he twirled the pig-slaughtering knife in his hand.

"Get out of here!"

He suddenly threw the butcher knife.

That seemingly ordinary knife, now imbued with an inescapable causal law, transformed into a black meteor, hurtling straight towards Dracula's chest.

"Pfft!"

Right in the bullseye!

Dracula was pinned down by the knife and slammed heavily onto the sand, kicking up a cloud of dust.

"Cough cough..."

Dracula coughed up black blood as he tried to pull the knife out of his chest.

But the knife felt incredibly heavy, and the [Slaughter] rule attached to it was frantically destroying his self-healing ability.

"No... I am immortal... I am a vampire prince..."

He tried to transform into a bat to escape.

But a large foot wearing flip-flops had already stepped on his face.

"Undying? That's because you haven't met me yet."

Jiang Li looked down at him, holding a clove of garlic in her hand.

That's right, it's garlic.

But this is no ordinary garlic. This is the "Screaming Garlic" produced by Deep Blue Farm, grown in the abyssal black soil and irrigated with divine blood.

This stuff not only has a strong smell, but also possesses extremely powerful exorcising properties, making it a veritable collection of all the nemesis of vampires.

"I heard you foreign devils are afraid of garlic?"

Jiang Li peeled open a clove, and the garlic actually let out a sharp "Ah—" sound, then sprayed out a thick yellow poisonous gas.

When Dracula smelled this odor, his face turned green, his body began to smoke, and his skin festered as if it had been splashed with sulfuric acid.

"Ah!!! Take it away! Take it away now!"

This is a fear that comes from the genetic level!

"Hey, it actually works."

Jiang Li was delighted.

"Come on, open your mouth, it's time to take your medicine."

Regardless of Dracula's wishes, he shoved the clove of garlic into Dracula's mouth and punched him in the chin, forcibly shutting his mouth.

"Ugh!!!"

Dracula's eyes were practically bulging out.

Eating garlic is like swallowing a sun.

His body began to convulse violently, and the blood in his body was being frantically purified and evaporated.

"While it's hot! While it's hot!"

Jiang Li turned around and shouted, "Lei Meng! Is the pot hot yet? Throw this thing in! Remember to add plenty of chili peppers to mask the smell!"

"Okay, boss!"

Lei Meng ran over, picked up Dracula like a dead dog, and threw him directly into the large pot that was already boiling next to him.

The pot was bubbling with red oil, which was the "Blood River Soup" that had just been refined using the [Cauldron of Gluttony].

"Glug glug..."

Dracula stirred the pot a few times, then there was no more movement.

A vampire prince, an S-class powerhouse, thus became—

The main ingredient of 【Supreme Maoxuewang】.

"Phew...it's quiet now."

Jiang Li clapped his hands, looking at the swarm of bats that had dispersed (the boss was dead, so the underlings naturally ran away).

"Clean up the battlefield! See if there's any valuable loot!"

"Boss! Here's a big ring! It looks like an antique!" Wang Ergou pulled a ruby ​​ring out of Dracula's remaining clothes.

"Boss! This cloak is of good quality, fireproof and waterproof, it can be used as a raincoat!" Liu Wei picked up the tailcoat.

"Alright, keep them all. Let's keep going!"

Jiang Li got into the car.

The convoy set off again, leaving behind only a pile of bat carcasses and a strong... hot pot smell.

……

Two days later, the convoy finally arrived at the foot of the Kunlun Mountains.

This is the ancestral home of all mountains and the source of the Chinese dragon vein.

Even today, with its eerie resurgence, the Kunlun Mountains retain their mystery and majesty. Their snow-capped peaks, perpetually covered in snow, pierce the clouds, and amidst the swirling mists, a celestial palace seems to appear.

But at this moment, the situation here is not optimistic.

At the foot of the mountain, a large number of troops and awakened soldiers were stationed. Countless heavy weapons were aimed at the mountain pass, and the atmosphere was extremely tense.

"Halt! Military restricted area! No unauthorized personnel allowed!"

As soon as Jiang Li's convoy approached, it was stopped by a squad of heavily armed soldiers.

"Wow, this is quite a show of force."

Jiang Li peeked out and took off his sunglasses.

"Hey bro, don't be nervous, I'm here to deliver food... no, I'm here for vacation."

The soldier's face was stern: "The Kunlun Mountains are now completely sealed off! A serious psionic disturbance has occurred inside! No one is allowed to enter! Turn back immediately!"

"A psionic upheaval?"

Jiang Li's heart stirred.

It seems that the distress signal was real.

"I am Jiang Li, a special advisor to the Bureau of Abnormalities."

Jiang Li took out the ID card that Su Qingge had given him (which he had actually been using as a discount card) and handed it over.

The soldier took the ID and his expression changed instantly.

"You...you're the 'chef'?!"

Jiang Li's name is now legendary within the official circles. He single-handedly defeated an S-class evil god, quelled the unrest in Jianghai City, and donated a large amount of alien technology… He's practically a living legend!

"Greetings, sir!"

The soldier immediately saluted, his eyes filled with admiration.

"Let them through! Let them through now!"

With the roadblocks removed, Jiang Li's convoy successfully entered the defense zone.

As soon as I entered the command post, a middle-aged general in military uniform with a full beard came to greet me.

"Mr. Jiang! You've finally arrived! I am Li Guodong, commander of the Northwest Theater Command."

General Li gripped Jiang Li's hand tightly, as if grasping at a lifeline.

"Director Su told me you were coming, and I've been eagerly anticipating it!"

"General Li, you're too kind."

Jiang Li smiled. "What exactly happened here? Why is there such a big commotion?"

"Sigh, it's a long story."

General Li sighed and pointed to the large screen behind him.

The screen displays real-time monitoring footage from deep within the Kunlun Mountains.

The once snow-covered valley is now shrouded in a thick black mist. Within that mist, countless enormous black shadows can be vaguely seen writhing.

"Half a month ago, the seal on Kunlun Mountain suddenly loosened, and this black gas gushed out from the ground."

"All the reconnaissance teams we sent in have lost contact. They only sent back a few blurry photos."

General Li pulled up a photograph.

The photo shows a massive, mountain-like mass of flesh with countless tentacles devouring a snow leopard.

"This is... a young black goat?"

Jiang Li recognized him at a glance.

He'd seen this thing countless times on the Black Island of the Forest; he was very familiar with it.

"It's not just black goats."

General Li's expression was grave. "There's something even more terrifying. According to the survivors, they saw a... 'upside-down city' deep inside. It's inhabited by a group of faceless monsters dressed in robes."

"A faceless monster?"

Jiang Li thought for a moment, "The Faceless One? Or the Nightmare?"

"I don't know, but our weapons are basically ineffective against them."

General Li smiled wryly, "That black aura is spreading outwards now. If we can't stop it, the entire Northwest will fall."

"Mr. Jiang, I've heard you're quite adept at dealing with these things... Could you please...?"

"no problem!"

Jiang Li readily agreed.

"Leave this to me! I came here specifically to buy some goods."

He was drooling as he looked at the black goat calves on the screen.

"Our milk supply was almost running out, now we have a solution!"

"And that upside-down city, it sounds like a place with treasures."

Jiang Li turned around and called out to the "picnic group" behind him:

"Brothers! Get ready to work!"

"This time, we're not only going to eat our fill, we're going to pack some leftovers!"

"Target—Deep in the Kunlun Mountains!"

……

Deep in the Kunlun Mountains lies Death Valley.

The air here is thin, and the wind is biting cold.

Jiang Li's convoy struggled along the rugged mountain road.

"Boss, the magnetic field here is very chaotic, my brain's navigation is malfunctioning."

Liu Wei held the compass, the needle spinning wildly.

"It's okay, we have a local guide."

Jiang Li took out the [Dragon King's Eye].

At this moment, the bead was emitting a strong light, pointing towards the deepest part of the valley.

"Follow the light!"

The further you go in, the more bizarre the surrounding scenery becomes.

The roadside rocks had turned black and were covered with moss that looked like eyes. The withered trees were twisted into strange shapes, as if beckoning to passersby.

Sudden.

"Meow—!!!"

A familiar bleating sound came from ahead.

Several huge "black trees" blocked the way.

[Black goat calf] (Kunlun subspecies).

These cubs were even larger than those on the island, covered in thick ice armor, and their tentacles were much thicker.

They spotted the intruders and charged at them, roaring.

"Oh? An old friend!"

Jiang Li jumped off the car, carrying a milking bucket in her hand.

"I was just worried about not having enough milk, and here it is, delivered right to my door?"

"Rhubarb! Go! Hold them down! I need to milk them!"

however.

Just as Big Yellow was about to pounce.

The ferocious black goat calves suddenly stopped in their tracks.

Their countless eyes were fixed on Jiang Li... or more precisely, on the black mark on Jiang Li's chest.

That was the blessing of Shub Nicholas!

"Mmm..." (Is it... Mom's smell?)

"Baa?" (Is she the official milkmaid?)

These originally ferocious monsters suddenly became docile, and even lay down on the ground, exposing... their bellies?

Jiang Li: "..."

Everyone: "..."

"Boss... your charm... is it beyond species?" Wang Ergou was dumbfounded.

"That's called professionalism!"

Jiang Li walked over triumphantly, carrying the bucket.

"Since everyone is being so cooperative, then I won't hold back."

"Line up! One by one! Everyone gets a share!"

then.

A tense battle has once again turned into a harmonious "farmhouse milking experience".

……

While Jiang Li was busy collecting goat milk.

Deep in the valley, there is an inverted city suspended in mid-air.

An old man with a withered face, dressed in an ancient Taoist robe, was sitting cross-legged.

In front of him floated a mirror, reflecting the scene of Jiang Li milking a cow.

"Interesting...how interesting..."

The old man let out a hoarse laugh.

"They were actually able to subdue the offspring of the Black Goat of the Forest..."

"It seems the person foretold... has finally arrived."

"but……"

A cold glint flashed in the old man's eyes.

"Whether you can obtain the [Kunlun Divine Treasure] depends on whether you have the destiny to do so!"

"Go... my [Faceless Servant]... teach him a lesson!"

At his command, countless faceless black shadows flew out of the upside-down city, like a flock of crows, and swooped down on the convoy below.