Fate's Choice: Livestream at the Start Summoning Billions of Ravens

The Vatican spokesperson bowed and stepped down, and the live broadcast was cut off.

The world is quiet.

For a full sixty seconds, not a single cough could be heard in the studios of major television stations around the world.

Those famous pundits who usually make a living from this were all as if they had been collectively put under a silencing spell. Their mouths were agape, their eyes were wide, and their minds were frantically searching through the human language corpus, trying to find a single word to describe what they had just heard.

Shameless?

clever?

Or... sacred?

CNN's star commentator Anderson Cooper was the first to break the silence.

"I have a suggestion."

"Next year's Nobel Peace Prize should not be awarded to any politician or charitable organization."

"It should be awarded directly to the team that wrote this press release."

"They have redefined what it means to be a 'great power'—as long as my prayers are sincere enough, this pot will never catch up with me."

"This is the pinnacle of diplomatic rhetoric, translating the phrase 'None of my business' into the most sacred and irrefutable theological language."

……

Embassy of the White Elephant in the Vatican.

The ambassador's hands were trembling.

He had just watched the entire live stream, and it felt like being slapped in the face, with the other person smiling and asking if it hurt and if he wanted to pray for him.

He picked up the encrypted phone and dialed the Prime Minister's office's dedicated line.

"Your Excellency the Prime Minister."

"They refused, not only refused, but also... they turned us into the object of all humanity's prayers."

"They said it was God's rule, and the Vatican was merely the provider of the venue. They expressed deep regret and decided to pray for us for seven days."

……

New Delhi, the Prime Minister's Office.

Prime Minister Modi sat in that chair that symbolized power, and he looked as if he had aged ten years in an instant.

Outside the window, the distant noise of fleeing crowds could still be faintly heard.

The compassionate expression on the face of the Vatican spokesperson on television was still replaying in his mind.

This is outrageous!

It's all an excuse!

They look down on the White Elephant Kingdom! They just want to monopolize that powerful superhuman force!

The Premier suddenly opened his eyes, which were bloodshot.

Since you are so heartless, don't blame me for being unjust.

"Relay my orders."

"First, immediately recall all diplomatic personnel stationed in the Vatican."

"Secondly, effective immediately, the White Elephant Kingdom and the Vatican City will sever all official ties!"

"Expel all Vatican clergy within our borders! Seize their churches! Get them out of this land!"

The order was broadcast to the world thirty minutes later via the national television station of White Elephant Country.

This should have been an extremely serious diplomatic event, one that could have even triggered a religious war.

But at this very moment.

Under the overwhelming force of the Vatican's "divine press release".

The anger of the White Elephant Kingdom seemed so pale, so powerless, even... a little ridiculous.

Because a new hashtag has gone viral on Twitter.

#The Vatican's Blame-Shifting Strategy#.

A meme template called "Vatican Statement Generator" is sweeping the global internet at a rate of thousands of reposts per second.

The format is simple and straightforward, yet it strikes right at the heart of the matter:

"The Holy See is deeply saddened by [the incident]. In accordance with [a certain rule], we have decided to [pass the buck]. Finally, we will pray for [the victims] for seven days."

Netizens' creativity exploded at this moment.

A working professional posted a tweet:

"I am deeply saddened by my boss's question about why the PPT is not finished. In accordance with the basic workplace law of 'disconnecting after get off work,' I have decided to turn off my phone. Finally, I will pray for my boss's precarious hairline for seven days."

The accompanying image is of the solemn and dignified face of the Vatican spokesperson.

Likes: 20+

A cheating boyfriend who was caught posted a tweet:

"I am deeply saddened by the discovery of other women on my phone by my girlfriend. Based on the uncertainty principle of quantum mechanics, those chat records are in a superposition of existence and non-existence. I have decided to attribute the responsibility to a mobile phone virus. Finally, I will pray for my girlfriend's eyesight for seven days."

The comment section was filled with "Amen".

A web novel author who has been slow to update his novels posted a tweet:

"I am deeply saddened by the readers' threats to send me razor blades in response to their demands for more updates. Based on the 'Conservation Law of Inspiration Exhaustion,' I have decided to take today off to get a foot massage. Finally, I will pray for the anxious hearts of my readers for seven days."

Even some official accounts have joined in.

Official account of a pizza brand:

"The Holy See is deeply saddened by customer complaints about the lack of pineapple in pizzas. According to the principles of Italian culinary fundamentalism, pineapple should not be on pizzas in the first place. We have decided to condemn the inventor of Hawaiian pizza. Finally, we will pray for our customers' taste buds for seven days."

The hashtag #VaticanBlamingScholarship# shot to the top of the trending topics list in 180 countries and regions around the world within an hour.

Its popularity even surpasses that of the vanished slum in New Delhi.

This is the harsh reality of the internet age.

The cries from afar can never compare to the joy right before your eyes.

China, various social media platforms.

Six out of the top ten trending topics are related to this matter.

The comments from netizens were extremely sharp.

"Incredible! This is the ultimate sales pitch from a top-tier client! I recommend memorizing the whole thing!"

"I've learned it. Tomorrow I'll confront my advisor online, saying, 'I am deeply saddened that my thesis is unfinished. According to the law of conservation of human sleep needs, I have decided to continue sleeping soundly and pray for my advisor's blood pressure for seven days.'"

"The Vatican not only completely absolved itself of responsibility in this move, but also conveniently cultivated a compassionate image, and finally disgusted the United States—killing three birds with one stone. Brilliant, truly brilliant!"

"Watching the White Elephant Kingdom rage in a powerless manner, severing diplomatic ties and expelling its ambassador, it felt like a loser whose girlfriend was stolen by a rich and handsome guy, and all he could do was curse in front of his own house."

"The analogy upstairs is so vivid; it brings the imagery to mind."

New Delhi.

The exodus from cities continues.

Millions of citizens are stuck on highways leading out of the city, unable to move forward or backward.

Panic, hunger, and riots continue to unfold in every corner of the city.

However, in the international arena, the sympathy and attention that should have been given to them were completely diluted by the overwhelming number of jokes and memes.

When people see news from White Elephant Country, their first reaction is no longer "Oh my god, they're so miserable," but rather "Haha, look, that blame-shifting template has a new version."

This is very embarrassing.

The White Elephant Kingdom's series of drastic reactions—recalling its ambassador, severing diplomatic relations, and expelling clergy—appear both comical and pathetic in contrast to the Vatican's attempts to shift blame.

It's like a clown desperately doing somersaults and smashing plates in the center of the stage, trying to get the audience's attention.

As a result, the audience was all looking down at the jokes on their phones, occasionally glancing up and only letting out a few snickers.

"He's getting anxious, he's getting anxious."

"A prime example of impotent rage."

"Is this the tragedy of a weak nation? Even playing the victim gets no response."

......

New Delhi, the Prime Minister's Office.

The office lights stayed on all night.

Prime Minister Modi looked at the document on his desk marked "National Supreme Emergency Plan".

This is the last card we have.

It was a huge gamble.

If nothing is done, the international image of the White Elephant Kingdom will be completely ruined.

The people's confidence will collapse, the government's credibility will drop to zero, and the country will fall apart amid internal strife and foreign humiliation.

He must bring that "god," or rather, a new hope, to these 1.3 billion desperate people.

Twenty-four hours after the diplomatic severance.

Prime Minister Paik Sang-guk addressed the nation in an emergency national address via state television.

In the live broadcast footage.

He stood before the huge national flag, looking haggard, his beard seemingly having turned quite white overnight.

His voice trembled, carrying an infectious power of extreme grief and indignation.

"Fellow citizens, fellow countrymen."

Yesterday was the darkest day in our country's history.

"It's not just because we lost tens of thousands of our compatriots, but also because we've seen the truth of this world."

"Arrogance! Cold-bloodedness! Prejudice!"

He brandished his fists, denouncing the crimes of the Vatican.

"They've stolen our God! And now they're humiliating us with their hypocritical prayers!"

"This is cultural racism! This is a blatant trampling on the beliefs of 1.3 billion people!"

He spoke with great emotion.

It was very tragic.

If the bullet comments were turned off at this moment, it might truly allow people to feel the lament of the weak.

Unfortunately, major global broadcasting media outlets did not turn off the live chat.

In fact, to enhance the viewing experience, many TV stations even scroll through real-time trending comments from Twitter at the bottom of the screen.

Thus, a world-famous painting was born.

At the top of the screen, the Prime Minister of the White Elephant Kingdom tearfully denounced Western hegemony and vowed to seek justice.

At the bottom of the screen, the scroll bar moves rapidly:

[The Holy See is deeply saddened by the Prime Minister's breakdown and has decided to offer seven days of prayers for his receding hairline.]

Stop cursing! If you keep cursing, the Pope will have to come out and pray again.

To be honest, this person's speaking skills are not as good as my second uncle's, who sells insurance.

So when exactly will the feast begin? I mean, when will we invite the gods back?

This extreme contrast transformed what should have been a solemn speech about national humiliation into a large-scale performance art piece watched by the world.

The speech was coming to an end.

Prime Minister Modi took a deep breath, seemingly making some major decision.

He spread his arms wide, facing the camera and the world, and unveiled that crazy plan.

"We don't need their hypocritical prayers!"

"We don't need their cheap sympathy!"

"The fate of the White Elephant Kingdom can only be in the hands of its own people!"

His voice suddenly rose, almost a roar.

"I hereby declare!"

"Seven days from now! In New Delhi! We will hold the largest National Prayer Ceremony since the founding of our nation!"

"We will unite the faith of 1.3 billion people! Guided by the waters of the Ganges! Swearing an oath in the name of the entire nation!"

"A prayer to all the unknown and magnificent beings in the universe!"

"Grant us a true, powerful guardian who belongs only to the White Elephant Kingdom!"

"We want the whole world to see that the will of the White Elephant Kingdom is invincible!"

The image freezes on the Premier's face, flushed with excitement.

The Land of Cherry Blossoms, Tokyo, Holy Grail War Countermeasures Headquarters.

Masao Sakamoto looked at the screen, then turned his head to look at another screen.

The above is a recent online poll report: "Regarding the fact that Uchiha Madara is actually quite handsome."

The report shows that more than 60% of Japanese netizens believe that since everyone is so miserable, they might as well just go into "Infinite Tsukuyomi" and dream about it, at least there won't be so many bad things in their dreams.

Masao Sakamoto felt a throbbing sensation in his temples.

At that moment, a subordinate walked over with a tablet computer, looking rather strange.

"Minister... take a look at this."

The tablet displays a video that has just gone viral on YouTube.

The title is: "Asian Hidden Dragon and Phoenix Chicks: The Prime Minister of Japan Reclines in a Dogeza vs. the Prime Minister of Japan Performs a Ritual."

The video creator cleverly edited together footage of the Japanese Prime Minister leading his cabinet members to kneel and pray to the gods a few days ago, and footage of the Japanese Prime Minister opening his arms to hold a prayer ceremony.

The background music is an extremely humorous Indian folk song.

On the left is "the spirit of craftsmanship", and on the right is "the immortal of the Ganges".

Interspersed throughout are contrasting scenes of Madara Uchiha throwing meteorites and Arjuna blowing up slums.

Finally, a large line of text appeared: "Brothers in arms, who is the real scapegoat of this version?"

Masao Sakamoto only looked at it for ten seconds before slamming the tablet face down on the table.

"roll."