A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

Ji Zuodao answered the phone.

"Feed? Master chef?"

A dry, hoarse voice, as if someone hadn't spoken in years, came from the other end of the phone, yet spoke at an astonishingly fast pace:

"Little Ji, I have read your message. The problem that has persisted in calming the Blood Sea has finally been solved after three days of seclusion, a labor of love..."

"Pshaw! We don't need you, Master Chef!"

Upon hearing this, Ji Zuodao straightened his back instantly, his voice rose eight octaves, and he was incredibly proud of himself.

"Let me tell you something! Your apprentice here has made a big deal today! With blood, sweat... uh, with wisdom and sincerity, I've acquired a top-notch treasure! It's guaranteed to take care of that damned sea!"

The smugness in his tone almost crawled over the signal:

"You three don't need to worry about it. Go back to your seclusion if you need to, and grow mushrooms if you need to! Your disciple has made something of himself!"

There was a two-second silence on the other end of the phone.

Immediately, the master chef's calm voice rang out again, precisely interrupting his boasting:

"The item has been sent to you. Judging by the time, it should have arrived."

"what?"

Ji Zuodao was taken aback, blinking rapidly:

"Who is it? Do I know them? What do they look like? Male or female? Fat or thin? I've been with my aunt all afternoon... cough, I haven't seen any strangers."

"The wealthy patron behind the mountain," the master chef said succinctly.

"Your Majesty?!"

Ji Zuodao's tone changed, and he suddenly turned his head to look at the tightly closed door, as if the empress's red dress was still lingering in his sight.

"The Empress just left, and she didn't give me anything! Master Chef, what did you ask her to take? What did it look like? Did someone intercept it halfway through?!"

He felt inexplicably uneasy.

"seed."

The master chef's voice came through the receiver clearly:

"A seed, black, I stole it from an old bald monk... cough cough, borrowed it, from a thousand or eight hundred years ago, no rush to return it."

"..."

Ji Zuodao's smile gradually froze.

He slowly, very slowly turned his head.

My gaze fell on the broken table.

The seed, entirely black and shimmering with a ghostly light, lay quietly on the table, as if silently mocking him.

On the phone, the head chef continued:

"Just swallow it directly, but be careful not to choke. By the way, did you receive it?"

"Received...received..."

Ji Zuodao heard his own voice, dry and hoarse, as if it were being squeezed out of his throat.

"Master, I have received the seeds. I will cultivate diligently."

"Um."

The head chef seemed quite satisfied with his "obedience," and without saying anything more, he hung up the phone decisively.

"Beep...beep...beep..."

The busy sound echoed in the quiet room.

Ji Zuodao held his phone, maintaining the posture of answering a call, without moving.

His face was expressionless.

Or rather, all the expressions, having just gone through an extreme rollercoaster of emotions in those few dozen seconds—"ecstasy → bewilderment → shock → understanding → exasperation"—have now collectively gone on strike.

He slowly put down his phone, turned around, and his gaze shifted back and forth between the seed on the table and the flimsy check next to it, which was printed with a long string of zeros.

"Oh."

A short, dry, and unfunny laugh squeezed out of his throat.

The city is full of tricks.

I want to go back to the countryside.

Rural roads are slippery too.

Human nature is more complex.

No wonder she was able to start from scratch, fleece investors on Wall Street, and then retire unscathed to the mountains to live a life of luxury.

No wonder his master had been grabbing him by the ear since childhood, spitting in his face, and giving him a long lecture:

"Kid! You better watch out when you see that vixen! Be more careful!"

"That woman is more cunning than a hair on her tail! She might just sell you out and you'd still be happily counting the money for her!"

"Scamming you out of money is the least of your worries! Be careful she doesn't swindle you out of your body too! She'll take advantage of you completely, leaving not even a scrap of bone!"

Ji Zuodao used to think that his third master was exaggerating and was just jealous of the empress's wealth, beauty, and ability to make money.

just now……

He believed it.

This is a fucking lesson learned the hard way.

Old ginger is spicier.

The fox, a fox with a thousand years of cultivation.

He took what the master chef gave him to do a favor for himself.

He got something for nothing, but what he got in return was still Ji Zuodao's fresh and hot meat.

If it weren't for his flattering words, "I love you, Auntie," it might have stirred up the little bit of conscience the Empress had left...

Is Your Highness planning to finish eating the meat, wipe your mouth, pull up your pants... oops, I mean, straighten your clothes and leave as if nothing happened?

They didn't even bring any money?

Speaking of this million-dollar check...

Ji Zuodao picked up the flimsy piece of paper, his eyes filled with complex emotions.

Is this considered pocket money?

Or is it payment for prostitution?

"Oh shit……"

Ji Zuodao rubbed his temples and let out a long, deep sigh.

His skills... are still shallow after all.

Ji Zuodao's skills are nothing compared to the Empress's; he's like a kindergarten student who got sold out but still brags about earning pocket money.

Ji Zuodao carefully put away the seeds and his hard-earned money, then jumped out of bed and began to rustle as he put on his clothes.

"Is it some kind of zombie coming back to life in the middle of the night? What kind of monster are they causing now?"

"Go cultivate." Ji Zuodao tied his shoelaces, speaking concisely.

"Huh?" Dog Master's face was filled with shock.

"You? You lost thirty pounds of flesh, and instead of lying down for three days to recover, you actually want to go and cultivate? Has the sun really risen in the west?"

"Time waits for no one, Dog Lord."

Ji Zuodao sighed, his tone heavy, but his eyes were shrewd.

"If you fall behind, you will be bullied; if you are weak, you will be eaten. My aunt taught me this bloody lesson through her actions."

"So?" Doggy looked him over suspiciously.

"so!"

Ji Zuodao straightened up, stretched his neck, making a soft "crack" sound, and revealed a sly and slightly eager expression that Doggy was very familiar with.

"I need to get stronger quickly."

"You get stronger, and then what?"

Dog Master perked up a bit, and his ears stood up straight.

"To seek revenge on that vixen? To get back the flesh that was devoured?"

"Revenge?" Ji Zuodao rolled his eyes, giving him a "you're overthinking it" look. "Am I crazy enough to risk my life against my aunt? That's suicide!"

"So what do you want to do?"

Ji Zuodao chuckled, leaned closer, lowered his voice, and his eyes gleamed with a kind of unrealistic yet yearning light:

"Once I get stronger and faster, next time Auntie wants to nibble on me..."

"I'll strike first, and when she's not looking, I'll pluck a huge tuft of her tail fur! I'll pluck the fluffiest, shiniest tuft with the silvery-purple tip!"

"Then, he took off running!"

"Grab it and run, never look back! She won't be able to catch up!"

"..."

Dogman fell silent.

"That's all you've got."

"Bullshit! I'm just being practical!"

Ji Zuo was righteous and confident.

"Revenge? That's something only a fool would do! This is called strategic harassment, generating continuous revenue! Auntie's tail hair is so precious! I'll pluck a handful, whether I keep it for myself to ward off evil or sell it on the black market..."

The more he thought about it, the more brilliant the idea seemed.

"Alright, alright, get back to your cultivation!"

Dog King waved his paw at the air in disgust, as if trying to drive away something unsightly.

"Don't pollute my eyes and ears with your nonsense. Remember, cultivation is cultivation, don't mess around. Since your master said that the seeds are useful, follow his method. Don't experiment on your own, or you might really blow up the Blood Sea."

"Okay, okay."

Ji Zuodao waved his hand, walked to the door, stopped, turned around, and grinned at Gouye with an excessively bright smile.

"By the way, Dog Lord."

"Um?"

"Once I pluck some of Auntie's tail hair, I'll give you a few strands to make a collar."

"roll!!!"