A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

Not long after, the prisoner twitched and slowly woke up.

Before his eyes were even fully open, his hand was already trembling as he reached for his crotch.

Oh my god! It's convex! Not flat, and definitely not concave!

"call--"

I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

The prisoner collapsed to the ground, as if all his bones had been removed.

The huge weight in his heart was lifted with a thud, causing him a sharp pain in his chest, but within that pain was a sense of relief, as if he had survived a disaster.

Thank goodness, the baby's core is still intact; he hasn't turned into a woman!

He turned his stiff neck, and as soon as his gaze fell on Ji Zuodao, who was sitting next to him with his legs crossed, he immediately sprang up as if he had a spring in his body and scrambled over to him.

"Grandpa! You're my own grandfather!"

The prisoner bowed and scraped, his back bent like a shrimp, and the smile on his face could squeeze out two ounces of honey.

"A miraculous cure! Hua Tuo reborn! No, no, no, Hua Tuo isn't even worthy to carry your shoes! You're a living bodhisattva reincarnated, here specifically to save people from suffering!"

He spoke with spittle flying everywhere, flattering Ji Zuodao with deafening force, as if he wanted to pour out all the knowledge he had to flatter him and give him a golden glow.

Unaware that the way hundreds of people on and off the stage were looking at him was no longer that of a prisoner.

That was watching a pitiful little fool who was about to face the darkest moment of his life without realizing it.

There was a hint of barely suppressed laughter mixed in with pity.

"Alright, alright, stop flattering me."

Ji Zuodao waved his hand, then, as if remembering something, casually gave a word of advice:

"Oh right, keep an eye on the hygiene of your new thing. If it gets dirty, fill a basin with water, add some white vinegar, soak it for half an hour, then wipe it with a soft cloth, and it'll be shiny and new."

"Yes, yes! Okay, okay! Don't worry, sir, I'll remember. I'll definitely clean it more often from now on, and soak it in white vinegar for half an hour..."

The prisoner nodded vigorously, but suddenly stopped mid-sentence.

The fawning smile on his face gradually froze, and his eyes slowly turned to Ji Zuodao, filled with confusion.

"Um?"

He blinked, sensing that something was amiss.

"Wait a minute... sir, what did you just say you wanted to soak?"

"White vinegar," Ji Zuodao glanced at him, puzzled. "It's the most effective way to clean limescale. Isn't that how you wash stainless steel?"

The prisoner opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

White vinegar? Cleaning? Limescale? Stainless steel?

These words bounced around in his not-so-bright brain, making him see stars.

A chill shot up from my tailbone to the top of my head in a flash.

No...that's not right...

Something's not right!

He trembled as he reached for his crotch again.

This time I touched it carefully, my fingertips trembling.

It's convex. It's still there.

But... this feel...

It's rock hard!

It's so hard it hurts your hands! It feels like you're carrying an iron rod!

Holy crap?! Why am I so hard right now?!

And this size... this imposing presence... this towering shape... it's not the same as his original two ounces of flesh!

The prisoner's face drained of all color in an instant, becoming even paler than if he had been dead for three days.

He abruptly lowered his head, his fingers frantically tearing open his tattered trousers, and plunged his head down—

Time seemed to freeze at that moment.

The prisoner remained motionless in a bizarre posture, with his buttocks sticking out, his head buried in his crotch.

Five or six seconds passed.

He slowly raised his head, like a robot stuck in a rut, in fits and starts.

The light of relief that had just appeared in those eyes was gone.

Dull and lifeless, like two dry wells, bottomless, exuding a chilling sense of utter despair.

He shakily pulled his hand out of his crotch, little by little.

The movements were so slow, as if they were holding a fragile glass cup that would shatter at the slightest touch.

Finally, they were all extracted.

In the sunlight, the thing in his hand reflected a cold, shiny, metallic luster.

The design is quite unique.

A disc with a tube attached to its bottom. The disc is covered with tiny holes.

Under the sunlight, this thing gleams with a cheap and practical stainless steel luster.

The prisoner stared blankly at the thing in his hand, then blankly looked down at his crotch.

Look up again and look at your hand.

Look down again and examine your crotch.

"Heh...heh..."

He gasped for breath like a broken bellows, his eyes rolled upwards, and his mouth twitched uncontrollably.

"ah--------!!!!!"

A piercing scream that could shatter eardrums suddenly burst from his throat!

"What the hell is this thing?!"

He held up the stainless steel object, his arm shaking as if he were having a fit of madness, and his voice was so distorted it was almost inhuman.

Ji Zuodao picked at his ears, annoyed by the loud noise. He slowly walked over, bent his fingers, and tapped the stainless steel disc twice.

A crisp metallic clanging sound echoed.

"How is it?"

There was a hint of smugness in his voice, "Stainless steel, 304, food grade! Look at the texture, listen to the sound, it's rock hard! A bullet hitting it will at most leave a white mark!"

"Now you feel safe!"

Ji Zuodao, like a scientist who had made a major invention, straightened his back, his smugness practically overflowing from his face.

"Come on, watch closely, I'm going to show you something today!"

He tapped his finger a few times on the inconspicuous little bumps on the edge of the disc, the sound carrying a hint of excited pride as he showed off his treasure.

"See that? Here, here, and here! Four gears, four modes!"

"A powerful surge! It's strong, surging, and perfect for relieving discomfort!"

"Rain! Evenly, finely, its essence is to nourish silently!"

"Pulses! They're rhythmic and intermittent, a novel experience!"

"Spray guns! Concentrate firepower, strike precisely, hit wherever you point!"

"Oh, right! It can even adjust the water temperature. Basically, all the functions that high-end showerheads on the market have, we have them all! Isn't that amazing? Tell me, isn't that amazing!"

The prisoner listened blankly, his eyes slowly moving.

His absent-minded gaze fell on Ji Zuodao's beaming face, then slowly moved to the fully functional showerhead that gleamed with a merciless metallic luster.

The showerhead... it really is a good showerhead.

It's fully functional, has an advanced design, and looks quite durable.

but……

"Master..."

The prisoner's lips trembled.

"What the hell does my Kunkun need so many functions for?"

"I just want to pee quietly... Why make a big fuss? Are you trying to strain your bladder?"

"Getting rained on... I'm supposed to be watering the flowers!"

"And then there's the water temperature control..."

He grew increasingly indignant as he spoke, his eyes reddening. "Am I bored out of my mind?! Why would I heat up my own urine?! To make tea?!"

"Tsk, look at you, so stubborn, aren't you?"

Ji Zuodao, with a look that said, "Why are you so clueless?", gently poked the prisoner's shoulder with the stainless steel showerhead hose.

"Something is better than nothing, right? Besides, look down and take a good look!"

He swiftly straightened the stainless steel pipe in front of the prisoner, gesturing to show its considerable length, his tone full of seduction:

"See that? The length! The size! The presence!"

"Let me tell you, with this kind of physique, when other men see him, they'll feel inferior! They'll all avoid him! What is male pride? Huh? This is male pride!"

The prisoner looked around blankly.

On stage and off stage, there were the investigators in their 749th Bureau uniforms, usually so imposing, and the same kind of desperate criminals in prison garb, their faces snarling with menacing features…

At this moment, everyone's eyes were focused on him and the gleaming stainless steel showerhead in his hand.

Their faces were flushed red, like boiled crabs.

His lips twitched violently, and his eyes were brimming with tears.

Several people had already covered their mouths tightly with their hands, their shoulders shaking like leaves, and the "puffing" sounds of air leaking out could be heard one after another.

In those eyes, there was shock, disbelief, and awe as if looking at a god, but more than anything, there was an almost uncontrollable urge to burst into wild laughter at the sight of something truly hilarious.

The whole world seemed to be laughing silently.

Only he stood at the center of the maniacal laughter, holding his "new pride" in his hand.

The prisoner silently lowered his head and looked again at the slender, cold, hard, and fully functional stainless steel showerhead in his hand.

Yes, it is quite long.

It's much bigger and firmer than the original two ounces of flesh.

A thought suddenly popped into his mind, a thought that was incredibly clear:

This length, this hardness...

Wow, that's really good.

It's the perfect length for hanging, and it's sturdy enough that it definitely won't break.