A heretical cultivator in Bureau 749, I'm the fiercest at pulling out tendons and skinning peop

The third round of literary competition has ended, and Jinghai did not win first place this time.

It's not that Ji Zuodao's skills are lacking—

The wound in the prisoner's groin had indeed been repaired, fully functional, and the stainless steel material was durable.

But the prisoner couldn't overcome the mental hurdle in his own heart!

This guy gritted his teeth, took the shiny shower hose, wrapped it around his neck, and pulled hard.

"Snap!"

With a crisp crack, his neck twisted to the side, and he was lifeless.

Even at the very end, his eyes were still wide open like copper bells, staring intently in Ji Zuodao's direction.

I guess he was trying to use his last bit of stubbornness to tell this guy: I'd rather die than submit! He's got guts!

Unfortunately, Ji Zuodao was lost in thought at the time, stroking his chin and pondering a philosophical question:

"Would this guy be the first person in history to be strangled to death by his own Kun Kun?"

Well, once someone dies, the referee swipes his pen and the score drops drastically.

The reasons are also valid: the primary purpose of the treatment assessment is to "save lives and restore normalcy".

Your skill is truly astounding. You managed to reconnect the needle, but the patient couldn't accept it and slit his own throat. Can this be considered a complete success?

The fact that I didn't give you a zero is already a favor, considering your groundbreaking creativity and I'm giving you some points for your hard work.

Fortunately, Jinghai won their first two games with incredibly solid scores, which were dazzlingly high.

Even though they faltered in the third game, their total score was still a solid lead over the other games.

Jinghai Branch Bureau won first place in this year's overall civil service competition!

Upon hearing the result, Zhang Yucheng's old face instantly broke into a smile, turning into a rosy old chrysanthemum in September, with his wrinkles glowing red.

He turned his head smugly, wanting to brag a bit to Old Wang from the next branch office—

no one.

Then he turned his head again, wanting to exchange a wink with Old Li across the street—

Still no one.

Director Zhang looked around and, lo and behold! The heads of various branches who had been sitting around him just moments before had all moved away, keeping their distance and whispering amongst themselves at the other end of the stage, not one of them glancing in his direction.

It's not that everyone is ostracizing him.

The main reason is that I don't want to listen to that old bastard Versailles anymore!

Good heavens, in previous years, winning first place in martial arts competitions made him so arrogant that he was practically strutting around like a whirlwind, causing unrest among people and animals for miles around.

This year is really something. He even won first place in the literary contest, which is his mother's worst subject. How can this be allowed?

For the next year, won't that old face be sticking out in front of us every day?

Even their spittle had to carry the sour, stinky smell of "being number one in literary debate"!

If we can't afford to mess with them, can't we at least avoid them?

Only Ji Zuodao stood there, arms crossed, lips pursed, looking completely displeased.

"Tsk, what bad luck!"

He spat on the ground, not because he really cared about the score, but mainly because his little plan had failed.

"I was hoping to go all out and give him a triple crown in the literary contest, which would be a legendary tale. From now on, when I travel the world, I can announce my name as 'The Champion of the Triple Crown in the Imperial Examinations,' wow, how impressive! How prestigious!"

The more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became, and he kicked the prisoner's corpse.

"Damn it, with such poor mental fortitude, you still dare to try your hand at escaping the world? Is this the kind of business you're capable of, risking your life?"

"What a waste of my showerhead! It's made of 304 food-grade stainless steel, a high-end product with four temperature settings and adjustable water temperature! I wouldn't even install something this expensive in my own public bathhouse!"

"These young people nowadays, really... they're ready to kill themselves over the smallest things, they can't handle any setbacks. So what if Kun Kun turned into a showerhead? Doesn't a showerhead still spray water? It sprays water quite smoothly! It even has a wave massage function! They don't know what they're talking about!"

Liu Ming and Li Shuwen, listening nearby, couldn't help but twitch at the corners of their mouths. They exchanged a glance, the meaning of which was clear:

Is this bastard truly unaware of what he's done, or is he pretending to be ignorant?

Li Shuwen said in a low voice, squeezing out the words through clenched teeth: "Old Liu, if I were that prisoner, I would pounce on him and bite off a piece of his flesh before I die."

"Bite him? That's too easy on him. If it were me, I'd just stick flame talismans all over myself and explode on him. Damn it, Brother Ji's move is too wicked."

"that is!"

Li Shuwen nodded vigorously, "Kun Kun turning into a showerhead... Is this an idea any human could come up with? If I were that guy, I'd explode! I might as well be dead! How am I supposed to face anyone after this? How am I supposed to pee? After peeing, I have to soak it in white vinegar? And after soaking, I have to polish it? I'd be damned..."

He couldn't continue; just imagining the scene made him feel a chill in his crotch.

Liu Ming sighed, his gaze falling on the prisoner's corpse covered by a white sheet in the distance, and he unusually uttered a word of justice:

"Actually, that guy was a real man. At least he didn't cry and beg for mercy, nor did he actually accept the showerhead. He'd rather die than live as a laughingstock."

"That's true." Li Shuwen nodded. "It's just a pity that he ran into our Master Ji. Under his command, if you're a dragon, you have to coil up; if you're a tiger, you have to lie low. If you're a tough guy... hey, he can turn you into a joke."

The two fell silent at the same time, looking at Ji Zuodao, who was still lamenting the shattering of his dream of "winning the triple crown".

Sunlight shone on that handsome face, which always carried a hint of wickedness.

Liu Ming suddenly muttered something out of the blue:

"Old Li, what exactly is going on in Brother Ji's head?"

Li Shuwen pushed up his glasses, his face expressionless.

"I bet it's not something a normal person would wear."

"for example?"

"For example, how to use a showerhead to achieve a man's ultimate pride."

"That joke of yours is a bit lame."

"I'm not joking."

The two exchanged a glance, shivered simultaneously, and decided not to delve any further into the topic.

Some abysses are better left ungazed.

I am prone to nightmares.

As the old saying goes, there is no first place in literature, but there is a second place in martial arts.

Let's not even mention the exhilarating, brutal, and decisive nature of the martial arts fights.

Speaking of literary competitions alone, the Jiangnan branch was the perennial champion in previous years, with trophies piled up in their cupboards until they were worn smooth.

But every year they come in first place, and every year there are people who are not satisfied and gossip behind their backs, saying all sorts of things.

Why?

Because the judgment of "literary" is not as rigid as that of "martial".

It watched as the referees on the platform swung their pens.

Referees aren't machines; they're human, so they have preferences, and preferences can lead to bias.

Sometimes, both sides seem to be equally capable, but one side is just better at currying favor, has a sweeter tongue, a more presentable appearance, and a more respectful attitude.

If the referee feels comfortable, he might just write down an extra point or two.

This principle applies everywhere.

Just look at some major competitions a few years ago. Goodness, the athletes' feet were practically treading two miles, and the judges still managed to give them high scores.

Why? Hey, isn't it because the person bowed at a 90-degree angle, bending lower than the referee's own grandson?

But this year, something strange has happened.

Once the results of the civil debate are out, it doesn't matter if it's in the south, southwest, northeast, or some remote corner of the bureau.

No matter if it's the bureau chief, the team leader, or a clueless young errand boy.

Even if you feel a little jealous and might argue back, deep down you're truly convinced.

This literary contest is first place, and it's rightfully theirs to win in Jinghai!

Why?

Based on the skills they've shown this year, it's like an old lady crawling into bed—it made me laugh, or rather, it made me completely impressed!

Let's not even mention the first two matches; each one was more sinister and eye-opening than the last.

Just take the third match as an example. Ji Zuodao's "divine skill" was enough to keep those seasoned veterans from various branches pondering for half their lives.

Take a showerhead—a stainless steel, 304 food-grade, four-speed adjustable showerhead with a heating function—to replace someone else's precious heirloom!

You wouldn't even dare to dream of such a wild idea, let alone think about it!

But not only did Ji Ye think about it, she also did it.

I did it, and it actually worked like a fucking miracle!

Of course, if a patient has poor psychological resilience and ends up slitting their own throat, this is an uncontrollable after-sales issue and cannot be entirely blamed on the skill of the technician.

But the skill itself is truly one of a kind – like a scorpion defecating!