Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Miao Yu walked in from outside, wearing a fur-trimmed coat and a fluffy round hat.

He tossed the few ribs he was holding onto the stove and went inside.

"Brother Liao, it's been a while since I've been here. Have you missed me?"

Miao Yu took off her shirt and hat and handed them to Zhang Changyao, who was already standing on the ground to greet her.

Hearing Miao Yu speaking in the outer room, Liao Zhi straightened his head and returned to his original state where only his mouth could move.

Hou Jiu entered the room, glanced at Zhang Changyao, and Zhang Changyao gestured for him to sit on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed) and read a book.

Hou Jiu lowered his head and slipped past Miao Yu onto the kang (a heated brick bed).

He picked up the book, pretending to read it absentmindedly, while his eyes kept sneaking glances at Miao Yu.

Zhang Changyao piled Miao Yu's clothes on the stool and pressed them down to prevent them from falling.

"Miao Yu, it's so cold outside, why did you come down?" Liao Zhi asked Miao Yu with concern.

"Brother Liao, a government job is like a brick; you can be moved wherever you're needed."

Zhang Changyao asked Hou Liben to contact me because of Zheng Meizhi and her child. How could I not come when I found out?

As long as it involves women and children, I, as the director of the family planning office, must personally go to the scene to make an impartial judgment.

Women and children are the foundation of a nation; women have made invaluable contributions to ensuring the continuation of the family line and strengthening the nation.

Miao Yu spoke passionately, and no one in the room dared to respond to her.

"Hou Liben, who is that? Hou Jiu, who did you take with you?" Zhang Changyao glanced at Hou Jiu.

"Brother Changyao, I... my real name is Hou Liben." Hou Jiu pointed to himself.

"Oh! Hou Liben, meaning 'establishing a career is the foundation,' Hou Jiu, your parents are quite good at naming you."

Miao Yu and Zheng Meizhi are no longer suitable to serve as the village's women's director due to their current circumstances.

Shouldn't you elect a new women's director from our village?

Zhang Changyao pondered for a moment, poured Miao Yu a glass of water, and asked her a question as he handed it to her.

"Zhang Changyao, you're not going to become the women's director of this village, are you?"

Miao Yu stretched Liao Zhi's arm and massaged him. She didn't take any water. After a pause, she turned to look at Zhang Changyao.

"I'm a married man, and I don't even have enough time to earn money to support my family. How can I have time to flirt with those old women?"

I was thinking of having Hou Liben and Hou Jiu become the women's director of our village.

This child is quick on his feet and clever in his mind; he doesn't need to be taught anything a second time.

I heard that the women's director gives him a considerable amount of money each year, enough for his food and drink, but also enough for his pocket money.

Zhang Changyao placed the water on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed) and pointed at Hou Jiu and Miao Yu.

"Zhang Changyao, what are you talking about, making a half-grown boy the women's director?"

"Won't those horny old women rub my face raw?" Miao Yu glanced at Hou Jiu and covered her mouth to laugh.

"Miao Yu, don't laugh yet. Zhang Changyao is talking about something serious."

Hou Jiu isn't bad as the women's director; he can run errands and relay messages for you, which is better than Zheng Meizhi.

An old woman who serves as the women's director is constantly dealing with children and has a lot of housework to do, so she can't avoid it.

Married men can't be women's directors either, that would cause chaos.

After much deliberation, I think Hou Jiu is the most suitable. He is a kind and righteous boy, and his temperament is just like Zhang Changyao's.

Just let him be the women's director because he took care of me.

That way I won't owe anyone a favor, and I'll feel at ease having him by your side.

Liao Zhi tried his best to bring this together, and only Miao Yu agreed to Hou Jiu's request.

Only when she becomes the women's director can this matter make progress as quickly as possible.

"Brother Liao Zhi, I...I'm going to be the women's director?" Hou Jiu asked, confused.

He never expected that Zhang Changyao and Liao Zhi would appoint him as the women's director.

That's a woman's job, he's just a simpleton.

"How can someone who's never been married be a women's director?" he asked Liao Zhi in a low voice, looking completely bewildered.

"Hou Jiu, you're just here to tip off Director Miao Yu and run errands for her."

When it comes to working with women, it has to be Director Miao who handles it personally.

Zhang Changyao glared at Hou Jiu, who immediately understood and quickly lowered his head, smearing the book on his face.

"Zhang Changyao, Brother Liao Zhi, since you two have said so, then I will let Hou Jiu be the women's director."

As long as he keeps an eye on the women's pregnancies and prevents them from having more children than allowed, that's fine.

"It's okay if they have more children than allowed, as long as they can afford the fines, they can have them." Miao Yu continued massaging Liao Zhi.

With a "smack," Zhang Changyao pinched his nose with one hand, squeezed out a big snot, and flicked it on the ground.

Then he wiped his snotty hands back and forth on the wall of the kang (a heated brick bed) a few times.

"Hey! Zhang Changyao, why are you so filthy now?"

I remember you weren't like this when you were in school; it was disgusting.

Miao Yu frowned, looking at Zhang Changyao with a look of disgust.

"Miao Yu, I'm already married, what more do you want?"

"If you have a big snotty nose, are you going to suck it into your mouth and swallow it instead of blowing it out?"

Zhang Changyao wiped his snotty hand on his pants and grinned as he told jokes to Miao Yu.

"Brother Changyao, you're so unhygienic. From now on, you'll have to spit your snot and saliva out or into the ash heap."

Hou Jiu hesitated for a moment, then followed the words Liao Zhi had taught him.

"Zhang Changyao, look at Hou Jiu, he's much better than you, you country bumpkin."

Miao Yu glanced at Hou Jiu, a strange look appearing in her eyes.

"Miao Yu, Hou Jiu is not a child. He is only two years younger than you."

By normal age standards, this kid is a real man.

"If my parents hadn't died young, I'd probably have a wife and children by now."

Liao Zhi spoke at just the right time, prompting Miao Yu to look up and examine Hou Jiu more closely.

Beside Hou Jiu, Zhang Changyao, who had taken off his shoes, was picking at his toes and smelling his hands, which made Miao Yu feel disgusted.

"Dinner's ready."

Yang Deshan set the table, and Yang Wuni brought out the pork rib stew with sauerkraut and potatoes.

Zhang Changyao picked up a piece of pork rib with the hand that was picking at his toes and put it in his mouth.

"Oh dear! Zhang Changyao, you're such a disgusting person."

How are other people supposed to eat if you grab food with your hands like that, picking at your toes?

Miao Yu glared at Zhang Changyao, biting her lower lip and frowning as she looked at him.

"Miao Yu, it's alright. I didn't come across any other dishes, so you can eat the rest without worry."

Zhang Changyao licked his oily fingers that had been gripping the vegetables clean and wiped them dry on the back of his pants.

"Director Miao, don't look down on my brother Changyao. He's always eaten like this since he was a child."

"We're already used to it," Hou Jiu said, mimicking his own words.

"Zhang Changyao, can you keep up the act a little longer? Your old classmate is here, why are you showing your true colors?"

Director Miao, please don't dislike my Zhang Changyao. That's just how he is; he doesn't know how to keep things clean.

You have no idea, when he's doing *that* on the kang (heated brick bed) at night, he makes all sorts of noises.