Forests Don't Support Idle Goblins

"Here's the thing, I'd like to know what you can do for me?" Charles looked down at the evil book spread out on the table, while glancing at the dagger placed on the corner of the desk.

"I can provide you with directions for strengthening your body, as well as methods for cultivating a primitive life symbiote. You can obtain immortality by following the methods I present to you, whenever you need it." Words began to appear on the pages of the book, and the handwriting was so neat that Xia Er even felt that a respectful writer was sitting inside the book.

"How can one achieve immortality?" he asked after a few seconds of thought.

"You can cultivate several special mushrooms using my method, then connect the mycelium to yourself, plant the mycelium underground, and then simply entrust your soul and consciousness to the mycelium network. As long as the mycelium grows large enough, you will never die."

"You should have told that unfortunate druid, Visans, about this method before," Charles said, narrowing his eyes and slowly reaching out to touch the dagger.

"No, True God, it's different. What I told those mortals was a censored version," the book quickly revealed words, and one could almost sense Charles's somewhat annoyed tone. "I didn't tell them how to separate their consciousness from the mycelial network. If they did, they would only become mycelium forever, no longer possessing human bodies."

"Then you'll tell me?" Charles tilted his head, sensing that this evil book was still dangerous.

"I will, sir. I will not only teach you how to disconnect your consciousness from the network, but also how to cultivate a mushroom body. This way, you can use your mushroom body to move around the continent and avoid many dangers. Once you are settled, you can continue to cultivate your mycelium and thus obtain the safest form of immortality."

"Then, won't I become a mushroom person?" Ciel stopped touching his knife.

"The mushroom people are pretty good. They can survive by decomposing plants and animals, and they don't feel pain, have no blood or internal organs, so they are very safe."

"But that also means less fun," Charles said, stroking his chin with some regret. "I can't enjoy delicious food, I can't be with the people I like, and I can't live among humans. I can only hide in the dark underground."

"This..." The evil book hesitated, and the writing stopped.

When Charles saw that the other party had stopped, he immediately felt that he had seen through him. "Little Blackie has shown his true colors!" he thought. He immediately reached out and grabbed the sharp dagger.

"No, no, Your Majesty, there is a way." The evil book quickly revealed words of pleading.

"Speak." Charles gripped the dagger, staring intently at the pages, ready to stab the book at any moment.

"You can capture some people and then let the hyphae invade their brains through their mouths and noses. Once their brains are covered with hyphae, these human bodies can become containers for your consciousness, which you can use to experience all human senses."

"A brain full of fungi?" Charles frowned. This felt a lot like the "zombie ants" or "cordyceps" methods he had seen before.

But I have to admit, it does seem like a solution, though it's rather disgusting.

"Is there no other way?" Charles placed the dagger on the page, the sharp blade making the words appear on the page faster.

"Yes, and also, you can directly control a small town, lay mycelium underground throughout the town, and then use the mycelium to invade their brains at night. This time, you only need to implant a memory in them, and when they wake up in the morning and see your mushroom body, they won't be surprised, and they might even be unusually respectful to you."

"Control the mind of the entire town?" Charles sighed, picked up his dagger, and pretended to stab the book. "I knew you weren't a good person."

"No, My Lord God, please calm your anger." The book immediately displayed words, much faster than before.

"I'm just a goblin, not some god." Charles pursed his lips, pausing his movements for a moment.

But the next words in the book made him slowly put down the dagger: "I have seen your soul, and in it I saw only incomparably powerful divinity. No matter what your appearance is, your soul is the soul of the true God."

"Souls?" Charles pursed his lips. Sophia seemed to have said something similar before, mentioning that she had seen a pair of divine eyes. "You can see souls?"

"Yes, many magical items possessing souls can directly examine the soul of their user. Their souls will display various colors among us 'spiritual objects.'" The book paused, then the words continued, "Many people we've encountered before mostly displayed colors representing greed. The two people we contacted before had normal colors, just a bit more foolish. As for you…"

The book's pages trembled slightly, then a new page was deliberately turned. "Please forgive me for using the word 'examine' earlier. I dared to peek into your soul and discovered that pure white, incomparably powerful divinity permeates a human soul's shell."

"Alright, stop flattering me." Charles moved the dagger away, and the Evil Book felt that it had gained a little trust. The pages it had spread out began to flutter back and forth, as if it were clapping in celebration.

"However, to be honest, I do look like a goblin," Sharl shrugged, somewhat helplessly. "I'm not human yet."

"How could this happen, Lord God?"

"Ah, there was a slight mishap," Ciel said calmly. He had now accepted his goblin appearance and could calmly recount his experiences to others. "It's just a curse, nothing serious."

"What kind of despicable person would dare to commit such an overstepping act?" The words on the book quickly appeared, the font even becoming somewhat messy and much larger, clearly conveying the shock and anger of the "writer".

"Alright, I'm used to it by now." Charles chuckled self-deprecatingly, preparing to close the book.

"Wait, My Lord God, if things are as they are now, I may offer some suggestions." The handwriting on the book returned to its previous neat and tidy state.

"Idea, can you break this curse?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that right now."

"So what do you want to say?" Charles glanced at the paper, waiting for the evil book's reply. He had originally thought that this high-level magical item might change the current situation, but it seemed that he was expecting it too soon.

"Although I cannot dispel the magic, I can provide you with a recipe for a soul-strengthening potion. Prepare the potion according to this recipe, which will solidify your cognition and increase your soul strength."

"What's the use of that?" Charles asked with interest. Was he only now starting to show his true colors?

"You must understand, the most insidious aspect of these transformation curses isn't just the physical changes, but also the alteration of your soul. This corresponds to your perception. If you're only cursed and transformed for a few days or months (see Chapter 313: Advice from the Evil Book, awaiting your arrival), and then immediately revert back, nothing serious will happen—at most, it'll be a 'nightmare.' But if you're cursed for years, or even ten, you'll gradually accept your changed body. Your lifestyle habits will subtly invade your consciousness, eventually altering your soul. After more than a decade, even if you break the curse, these deeply ingrained habits will prevent you from returning to your former life. You'll feel out of place in the world, even doubting the opinions of those around you. Even a friendly greeting will be interpreted as someone secretly mocking you, until finally…"

The writing at the back of the book disappeared, clearly out of fear of angering Charles. However, Charles smiled and said softly, "Until the very end, I couldn't stand the environment around me anymore. I either chose to leave and return to the forest to live the life of a goblin, or simply..."

He didn't say those two words, but instead stretched out his thumb and made a motion across his neck.

"Yes, so the formula I'm offering you can temporarily strengthen your soul and solidify your cognition. Just drink it regularly."

Charles didn't say anything immediately. He just started to recall his experiences over the past few days. He was somewhat shocked to find that he no longer rejected his goblin identity. Moreover, he no longer felt uncomfortable about having to tilt his head back when talking to others. Before, when he talked to Agatha, he would sometimes deliberately stand on a small stool, intentionally seeking the feeling of communicating with someone who was human.

"These things don't mean that I've started to experience a change in my perception." He muttered to himself. However, Xia Er recalled news he had read before about some European and American couples who would come to Tokyo University to adopt children and take them to Europe and America to raise them. Many years later, those children would no longer recognize their yellow skin identity and instead identify themselves as Europeans and Americans. Even if they returned to Tokyo University later, they would feel out of place.

"Alright, give me the potion first." Charles nodded and said to the evil book. He planned to get the recipe first, then ask Agatha to make some to see. Anyway, after it was made, he could call up the panel to check it. If there were any problems, he could choose not to drink it and then find some holy water to "pickle" the evil book.

Soon, writing began to appear on the paper, and Charles immediately found a notebook, copied down the potion formula, and then stretched out his hands and grasped both ends of the book.

"Are you really not interested in the 'immortality plan' offered by the little man?" The words reappeared in the book.

"No, rather than not being human or being someone else, I'd rather be myself." Charles smiled, then clasped his hands together and snapped the evil book shut.

The rusty-colored outer shell began to wriggle under Charles's gaze, and the title on the cover, "Mushroom Spores and Variants of Life," changed again. Charles had previously heard from Little John that the first time he got this thing, it was called "How to Attract Sows to Mating," but now, after wriggling, a new title had appeared—"Your Forever Faithful Servant, Little Book."

"My loyal servant, where shall I put you?" Charles smiled as he surveyed his stone house. The small space contained only a bed, a desk, a low cabinet, and various items piled up in the corner. However, he dared not put the evil book in the corner, because there was a sealed wooden barrel there containing the wrathful horns of the demon lord.

"Fine, I'll just put it on the table for now." With no other option, Charles could only toss the evil book onto the corner of the desk, where he used to keep the little tin soldier, but the one-eyed man had borrowed it to study carving, so now there was a free space.

"The most important thing right now isn't the potion, but the horde of goblins that's coming soon. I wonder when Broken Tooth will be back." Charles stood up, straightened his clothes, and then walked out of the stone house. Inside this underground fortress, the goblins were moving about in an orderly fashion.

Many goblins were carrying various parts, while in the distance, Nine Fingers was leading a group of goblins, carefully assembling cannonballs. They put the banging fruit into the metal shell, then handed it to the next goblin, who attached the hood and tail fins, and finally handed it to the next one, who neatly placed it into a wooden box.

On the other side, the lame man was guiding a group of goblins as they assembled rune mortars and rune Appi chickens. The goblins weren't very familiar with these two new things, so the lame man had to guide them one by one. But fortunately, they had been working on them for a few days and were now somewhat familiar with them, making very few mistakes.

"Looks like we're almost done." Charles smirked. "Now we just have to wait for the enemy to arrive."

"Leader, Broken Tooth is back!" Red Eyes ran quickly to his side and shouted.

Immediately afterwards, a goblin's head popped out from the shadows nearby. "Chief, we've arrived."

"Have we arrived yet?"

"Well, there are some problems," Broken Tooth said, scratching his cheek with a puzzled look.

…………

In the forest, Baldy was idly chewing on a grass root. There wasn't much to collect in winter, so it was good enough to have these grass roots to chew on. The root of this grass had a slightly sweet taste, but it was a bit rough on the teeth because of the sand and dirt on it. However, the goblins didn't care about that.

"Is it just ahead?" He glanced sideways at the goblins standing in front of him, dressed in snakeskin. These guys had just flown in the air searching ahead and were now reporting that they had spotted a large clearing in the forest.

The clearing in the woods was familiar to Baldy, and he believed that the cavemen who had been released should also be familiar with it. It was in that clearing that he had felt a strange feeling, a sense of resentment mixed with intense envy. But now, Baldy felt it was time to get his revenge.

"I even sent people to persuade them to surrender, which lulled them into a false sense of security." He smiled smugly. Although it was just a whim of his, this must be the wisdom that the high priest often talked about. Moreover, when the goblins returned, they patted their chests and described how terrified the other side was, trembling like a forest grouse trapped in winter.

Baldy pulled out a feather crown from behind him. He had made it on the way using grouse tail feathers. He had commanded the battle wearing the feather crown last time, but unfortunately, he was defeated in the end. The crown had long been crushed. Now, he was making it again, and his skills had even improved.

"Don't think I'll make the same mistake as last time," he shouted, summoning several strong cavemen over.

"Tomorrow, you take your men and charge through from this side," Baldy drew an extremely rudimentary map on the ground and explained to the group of dumbfounded cavemen opposite him.

"Does the military leader mean we should take our men, circle around here, and then go back?" a caveman asked tentatively.

"Idiots, we're not going back, we're launching an attack from this side!" Baldy yelled. "This is splitting our forces, it's strategy, do you understand?"

He stretched out both hands, drew a circle in the air, and finally clasped them together. "Two paths, ultimately creating this effect."

But the goblins in front of him still stared at him with "wise" eyes, tilting their heads and looking at him like he was an idiot, because goblins always rushed forward in a swarm.

"Alright, listen to me," Baldy sighed, beckoning the cave dwellers together before beginning to explain his battle tactics.

But none of them noticed that a goblin in the shadows had also pricked up its ears.