I am not a literary giant

Chapter 102 The Illness is Love

Ye Lan noticed that Wang Zixu was acting strangely in her car.

He had a brain CT scan, an MRI, and a chest X-ray taken over the past few days, but nothing seemed wrong. So Ye Lan drove to pick him up from the hospital.

What should have been a joyous occasion turned into an unusual silence for Prince Xu.

Ye Lan wasn't surprised at first. Wang Zixu had always been a man of few words. But his silence today was different.

His previous silence stemmed from his mind being preoccupied with other things; today, his silence seemed as if a giant serpent, Jormungandr, was writhing within him. He looked even more haggard than the day he entered the hospital.

"What's wrong? Are you still feeling a little unwell?"

Prince Xu shook his head.

"If you're still not feeling well, you can stay another day. The Wen'ai Club isn't in a rush; our numbers are still rising these past few days. Guess how much?"

Wang Zixu said, "Don't mention the Wen'ai Club."

"Okay, okay, let's not talk about it. So what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing happened to me."

"You clearly look like something's wrong."

"I'm really fine."

Ye Lan rarely showed concern for others, and when she finally did, she was hurt by Wang Zixu's aloof attitude. She wanted to ask Wang Zixu, "Has anyone mentioned that you're difficult to get along with?" but she held back. Because it was very likely that many people had said so, but he hadn't changed.

If anyone else had spoken to her like that, she would have definitely stopped the car, thrown a tantrum, and verbally abused them. She didn't know why she was being so gentle today. Maybe it was because Wang Zixu had just been discharged from the hospital.

"Children speak without thinking," she told herself.

Suddenly, a flash of inspiration struck her like a shooting star. Ye Lan asked, "How did your essay contest go?"

Wang Zixu sighed: "We didn't make it."

Ye Lan said, "Well, so that's why."

She turned to look at him. Wang Zixu neither admitted nor denied it, but simply gazed forlornly out the window. Ye Lan chuckled inwardly.

She understood now. Prince Xu was like a safe. He wasn't deliberately keeping secrets; when he wasn't talking, it was simply because he didn't want to. But if you entered the correct password, he could tell you anything.

"Why wasn't it shortlisted? Is it really that difficult to submit an essay?"

Wang Zixu said, "It's probably still the misunderstanding about the blood in my urine that day that had an impact. I wrote the last part of my novel in the hospital, which was a bit rushed, and the environment wasn't great, which affected my judgment. Looking back now, the ending could have been done better..."

He began to ramble on about his creative insights. Ye Lan listened, completely bewildered, and finally said, "I think it might not be because of these reasons."

"So what do you think is the reason?"

As Ye Lan drove, she said, "Think about it, it's a writing contest, there must be hundreds or even thousands of submissions, right?"

Wang Zixu said, "A total of 351 articles were submitted this time. They selected 100 to be shortlisted."

Ye Lan said, "That's right. They wouldn't have rejected your work based on some 'profound' reasoning you just gave. Is there some serious flaw in your writing?"

Wang Zixu shook his head: "No. I've already paid close attention to the requirements for this call for submissions, it's impossible..."

The words were left unsaid, like half a bare wire dangling in the air. Undoubtedly, he himself wasn't entirely sure.

Ye Lan added, "Take it easy. There could be many reasons why your manuscript wasn't shortlisted. For example, you might have offended someone and been sabotaged; the person reviewing your manuscript might just not like a particular sentence; or even your manuscript might have just been misplaced. Anything is possible."

Anything is possible. This phrase can explain many things, but it is not enough to explain Prince Xu's ten years of misfortune.

From the adage "Don't underestimate a young man's potential" to the idea of ​​achieving great things late in life, Wang Zixu has always held high hopes for himself, even encouraging himself with the prospect of winning the Nobel Prize in Literature fifty times. An author with the potential to win the Nobel Prize in Literature wouldn't fail to even make the shortlist for the Xihe Essay Contest.

Wang Zixu suddenly felt tired, like an old donkey carrying twice its own weight suddenly growing old, realizing that it could no longer support the responsibilities it bore.

"There might not be that many possibilities. Maybe I really don't have much talent when it comes to writing novels."

After saying that, he seemed to have unloaded a burden he had carried for many years, and he laughed nervously, then laughed again.

"Actually, if life weren't so hopeless, who would want to keep writing novels? Writing novels is exhausting. If your own life is a mess, what you write can be rejected by others with just one sentence, and all your efforts are wasted."

"Actually, I was just stubbornly clinging to it. I just didn't want to admit it. Thank you for comforting me, I'm fine. I feel much better after admitting that I'm not talented. Constantly thinking that I'm not appreciated is an illness, and it needs to be cured. My illness is cured. I'm very relaxed now."

"It's a good thing my essay wasn't shortlisted. It gave me a wake-up call. What's all this talk about the Nobel Prize in Literature, or about talented men and beautiful women? I'm not at that level. This is all I am. I should be more down-to-earth and live a simple life."

Ye Lan slammed the car to a stop and turned to stare at his face:

"Wang Zixu, what's your level? You're the kind of person who can turn a 6% retention rate into a 16% one! Do you know how my girlfriends reacted when I talked about your achievements? It's just a Xihe essay contest, why are you being so sentimental!"

Looking at the prince's listless and weak expression, she suddenly felt a surge of anger. She wanted to grab his shoulders and shake him violently until the water in his brain came out. "You're the one who created this industry legend! Don't you even understand that?"

Wang Zixu looked into her eyes and smiled: "You used the idiom 'lamenting the passing of spring and the coming of autumn' very well."

Ye Lan blushed: "That's enough, kid. Stop looking down on me. And is that even the point?"

Wang Zixu smiled and said, "I understand, thank you. Let's go to the base. I can focus on the script from now on. It's actually quite reassuring to have one less thing to worry about."

Ye Lan looked at him suspiciously. Had her comforting words worked? It seemed so, but she still felt that something was wrong with Wang Zixu. Rather than being relieved, it was more like he had given up on himself.

The drive was quick. The Audi pulled up in front of the base, and the two got out. The scriptwriters came out to greet them. They had meticulously prepared a welcome feast for the little prince's discharge from the hospital.

However, the welcoming banquet turned out to be extremely dull. Prince Xu wore a relaxed and pleasant smile the whole time, was very gentle to everyone, and his interactions with people were truly benevolent. He was no longer staring blankly into space; his emotional intelligence had improved dramatically overnight.

The poet quietly pulled Ye Lan aside and whispered, "What happened? The little prince seems a bit strange."

Ye Lan glared at her: "Right! You also think he's weird."

Cheng Xing, with his sharp ears, overheard their conversation and joined in, whispering through his mouth, "President Ye, what happened between you and Teacher Little Prince? He seems a bit broken."

"What is a sense of brokenness? It's strange, but it feels so fitting."

Ye Lan thought for a moment and said, "I'll just tell you two, but don't tell anyone else that he participated in an essay competition but didn't make it to the finals."

This time, it was Cheng Xing and the poet's turn to stare wide-eyed. After exchanging a glance, they both said:

"What essay contest? What level of essay contest could even get you eliminated by Teacher Little Prince?"

Ye Lan briefly recounted the details of the Xihe Literary Society's call for submissions, omitting some crucial information. The two nodded in agreement.

Out of more than 300 submissions, they only selected 100, and they still managed to reject them all. This is outrageous; no one could accept it.

After thinking for a while, Cheng Xing asserted, "That's absolutely impossible. There must be some mistake somewhere."

The poet also said, "Putting everything else aside, even if you just submit the script to a writing competition, you're unlikely to be shortlisted and will be eliminated."

Ye Lan glanced back at Wang Zixu, who was drinking in the distance, and whispered, "Yeah, that's why it was such a big blow to him. On the way back, he told me that he used to be sick, but now he's cured because he's let go."

Cheng Xing shook his head with a hint of heartache: "It's not Little Prince's manuscript that was shortlisted; it's the essay competition's problem. It's like some writers not winning the Nobel Prize in Literature—it's the prize that's problematic."

Ye Lan glanced at Wang Zixu with a hint of worry. Ever since the journey back, she'd felt something was off about him, and now she finally understood: Wang Zixu claimed he was cured, but she felt that the Wang Zixu who was ill was the real Wang Zixu.

She disliked the healthy prince Xu at all.

Wang Zixu's phone rang. He looked down and saw it was Lin Feng.

At the Wen'ai base, his phone was always on silent to prevent his true identity from being exposed. However, now that he was ready to get rid of everything, he had no intention of hiding his identity and answered the call in front of everyone:

"Hey, Brother Lin, that's right, the shortlist notification has been sent out. You made it?... Congratulations! I knew you'd make it. Congratulations, you'll definitely beat Shen Qingfeng."

"Me? I wasn't shortlisted. Yes. That's what the notification said. Let me see, it says, 'Thank you for your participation, your manuscript was not shortlisted, keep trying,' yes, it's very clear. I wasn't shortlisted, and they want me to keep trying, yes."

"No, it wasn't a bad performance. I thought about it, and I'm actually quite satisfied with what I wrote. It's just that my skill level isn't high enough... No. I'm not as good as you say, this is just my level. I'm just an ordinary literature enthusiast."

"Don't worry. Really, don't worry. I'm fine, I'm doing great now... Hmm, let's meet up again next time, I've been a bit busy lately. Let's grab some late-night snacks together next time. To celebrate you winning first place in the essay contest."

After hanging up the phone, everyone stared at him in silence. He waved his hand dismissively, "Eat? Why are you all looking at me? There's no food on my face, haha."

Prince Xu was slightly drunk, with a flush on his face. Cheng Xing walked to his side and said sincerely, "Teacher Little Prince, you don't need to doubt yourself. It's not your fault. It's that they have no right to crown you."

Prince Xu waved his hand dismissively: "Forget it, forget it, you're praising me too much. What's with all the 'crown'? I'm fine as long as I can make a living."

Cheng Xing said urgently, "Don't give up on yourself! Sooner or later, your talent will be recognized by the world!"

Prince Xu shook his head: "I haven't given up on myself. There are 80 billion people on Earth, and at least 79 billion of them are just trying to make a living. What's wrong with me trying to make a living? I'm just like everyone else, and I feel quite proud of it."

Cheng Xing pursed his lips, held out his wine glass, and said, "Teacher Little Prince, you have your own ideas, and I don't know how to persuade you. It's all in the wine, so I'll drink it all."

Wang Zixu patted him on the shoulder and said, "No need to persuade us. We'll just continue doing what we're supposed to do. I heard from President Ye that the data was pretty good even though I was away these past few days. Everyone did a great job. Let's make money and not be ashamed."

He and Cheng Xing drank together, and they were both a little tipsy. The others opened their own bottles and started drinking together.

Ye Lan's phone rang. She glanced at it and saw it was Ning Chunyan, whom she had met not long ago. She walked to a secluded spot and answered the call.

As soon as the call connected, Ning Chunyan asked anxiously, "I heard from Lin Feng that Wang Zixu's manuscript didn't make the shortlist this time? What happened? I called him, but he's not answering. How is he doing?"

Ye Lan glanced at Wang Zixu, whose face was flushed, and said, "He's fine, but he's completely acting strangely."

"Haven't he been acting strangely all along?"

"Something's even more off now." Ye Lan switched hands to hold the phone. "Anyway, he didn't make the cut. They said that's just his level."

Ning Chunyan said, "There's no way he didn't make the shortlist! His level is such that my parents and some other writers all said it was well-written. If his piece didn't make the shortlist, it would truly be an injustice!"

Ye Lan shook her head: "I don't know why this is. Actually, I also find it strange that he wasn't shortlisted."

"Where are you?"

"what?"

Where are you and Prince Xu now?

……

Shen Qingfeng was playing golf on the back hill of Xihe when his phone suddenly rang. He answered the call, and Gou Yingbiao, sounding excited, answered:

"President Shen, this is incredible! Didn't the preliminary results for the essay contest come out yesterday? Guess what? Wang Zixu didn't make it to the finals!"

Shen Qingfeng looked up and said, "Did the preliminary results come out yesterday? I didn't even pay attention to it. Isn't it enough to just write something to qualify?"

"Wang Zixu didn't even make the cut. Mr. Shen, that was a brilliant move of yours!"

Shen Qingfeng quickly waved his hand and said, "I didn't do anything, don't blame me. I didn't even have time to deal with this Prince Xu, he didn't make it in based on his own merit."

Gou Yingbiao sounded doubtful on the other end of the phone: "Really?"

"Why would I be secretive about this? If I really wanted to deal with him, would I need to hide anything? Anyway, I definitely didn't give him any instructions. Lin Luo, did you give him instructions?"

Lin Luo sat under the parasol opposite him, spreading her hands innocently and saying:

"Teacher Shen, I don't even know that person. To be honest, I don't even consider him a competitor. Besides, the publicity department is in charge of the preliminary selection. If I had that connection, I would simply have them target Lin Feng directly."

Shen Qingfeng said to Gou Yingbiao, "You heard that. Lin Luo was right not to pay attention to him."

Gou Yingbiao was overjoyed: "Alright, thank you for your concern, President Shen. Anyway, I've solved a major problem for me."

Gou Yingbiao strode into the conference room, sat down in front of everyone, tapped the table, and said:

"Today, let's have a quick meeting. First, let's commend the comrade who submitted an article in the essay contest a while ago. Ah, this Xiao Diao has made it to the preliminary round! Everyone, give him a round of applause."

The meeting room was immediately filled with applause, with Song Yinglian and Guo Ranran applauding particularly enthusiastically. Diao Yiwen pursed her lips and politely nodded to each of the colleagues who were looking at her.

Gou Yingbiao added, "Our Comrade Wang Zixu! Ah, it's a pity, ah, he didn't pass the preliminary selection, he didn't make it to the finals..."

As soon as he finished speaking, a loud laugh rang out from the audience.

Guo Ranran made an exaggerated eye contact with Song Yinglian, then looked at Diao Yiwen and mouthed, "Didn't make the cut?"

Gou Yingbiao continued, "His spirit is commendable, and I hope he continues to work hard. But he must guard against arrogance and impetuosity. He can't be arrogant and look down on this or that. To be honest, if it weren't for his colleagues and leaders' careful care and tolerance, would he have such a temper? I also want to remind everyone here: don't get carried away just because you've achieved some success, thinking you're the best in the world. The higher you jump, the harder you fall. Having a strong personality isn't a good thing... Ah, it's a pity Wang Zixu isn't here today..."

After the meeting, Guo Ranran ran to Diao Yiwen's side and said excitedly, "Little Diao, we got our revenge! That guy really didn't make it, haha, I really want to see the look on his face..."

Song Yinglian walked over, frowning, and said, "Don't gloat, or you'll offend someone."

Guo Ranran lowered her voice and said, "What are you afraid of? He's not here right now."

"There's always someone relaying messages. Haven't you learned your lesson?"

"Don't say such discouraging things," Guo Ranran turned to look at Diao Yiwen. "How was it? Wasn't it great?"

Diao Yiwen shook her head and said, "I don't feel like I have any grudge against him."

"Ugh."

A long, drawn-out sigh came from behind them. The three turned around, but couldn't find who it was.

……

"Pop".

The last bottle of red wine was opened, and Wang Zixu, holding the bottle, said, "Since we've already come to this point, let's all indulge ourselves. Whatever kind of wine there is in the base, let's just drink it all in one go."

"Drink!" Sakura-chan raised her glass first, slapped the table with her hand, and asked for a drink like a gorilla. She was already drunk.

Wang Zixu hiccuped, and in a daze, handed over the bottle, but the bottle opening was not aligned with the rim of the glass.

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

He raised his head: "Who is it?"

Ye Lan ran over and opened the door, and Ning Chunyan appeared at the door like a weapon of war.

She stormed in, leaving everyone speechless.

"Prince Xu!" Ning Chunyan walked over and grabbed the arm of the dizzy Prince Xu. "Come with me."

"What?" Prince Xu asked in surprise.

"Of course we're going to check on it!" Ning Chunyan said. "Your manuscript couldn't possibly have failed to make the shortlist; there must be a mistake. How can we not check the manuscript?"

Prince waved his hand dismissively: "Forget it, let's not spoil the mood. What's the harm in investigating?"

"Come with me!" Ning Chunyan tightened her grip on his arm.

Wang Zixu pushed her away and said, "Listen to me, I've made up my mind. From now on, I'm going to focus on my side job. I'm not cut out for literature, it's too difficult..."

"Stop talking nonsense! Come with me!" Ning Chunyan glared at him. "Don't you know? The unit in charge of the shortlist this time is the publicity department. There must be someone pulling strings behind the scenes."

Wang Zixu shook his head vigorously: "What's wrong with the propaganda department? It's just a coincidence. It has nothing to do with anything."

Ning Chunyan glared at him: "Publicity Department! Publicity Department! Haven't you thought of anything yet? Are you still planning to deny it?"

She took a deep breath and said a name: "Zhang Qian!"

(End of this chapter)