Back to my 1980s

In the east wing of an earthen house, two wooden stools were placed at either end, with several planks in the middle.

This place can be simply called a bed for now...

Zhao Hua, who was lying on the bed, slowly opened his eyes. It was pitch black in front of him; it was still dark.

A musty smell crept up my nose and into my head; the smell wasn't pleasant, but it didn't cause any discomfort.

Instead, there's a strange sense of intimacy, making you want to sniff it more.

Hearing the "whimpering" of dogs outside, I paused for a moment and realized that it was already daylight.

However, this earthen house had no light coming in, and the only small window sill was filled with things.

The window was covered in black glass or something else, blocking out most of the light, with only a few rays of light filtering through the gaps on the side.

All of the body's senses began to slowly return.

"Where is this? It looks so familiar."

Zhao Hua stared blankly at the scene in the room, and memories sealed away for many years began to be slowly stirred.

"It looks a bit like the storage room at my grandma's house."

Zhao Hua slowly sat up straight and sat quietly for a while to clear his mind.

Zhao Hua was born in 63. His name on his household registration is Zhao Zhenghua, which was chosen according to his generation. He spent his youth in the village.

He spent his time eating, drinking, and having fun with a few friends, wasting his time, and getting into fights in other villages was commonplace. Outsiders thought he was a good-for-nothing, and so did his family; everyone said he had no ambition...

In theory, life was tough for every family in those days, and if there was a male member in the family, the family would definitely not waste such a labor force.

But Zhao Hua has many siblings.

The elderly parents had a daughter as their first child, and then another daughter. Back then, there was a strong preference for sons over daughters, and in the countryside, you couldn't do without a son.

When the third child was born, a son, the old father breathed a sigh of relief. However, having only one son was not enough. In the countryside, the more sons a father had, the more upright he could stand when he went out into the world.

Later, Zhao Hua had three older sisters, two older brothers, and one younger sister, which was considered a small number.

When Zhao Hua was in elementary school, a female classmate said that her grandmother gave birth to twelve children in one go, which was more prolific than a pig...

There's a saying in the countryside: the firstborn are like weeds, the second are like treasures.

The youngest son, Zhao Hua, was treated like a treasure at home, and his parents' threats to beat him were only verbal.

No one could spoil a child like this. Educational resources are scarce, and adults are very busy, so how a child grows up depends entirely on them.

Over time, this fostered his lazy and idle nature.

Everyone in the surrounding villages knows this good-for-nothing, and no one dares to marry their daughter to him, because it's uncertain whether their daughter will even have enough to eat after marriage.

They might even have to send some money home from time to time to help them out. What family would want to marry their daughter off to suffer like that?

Although he couldn't lift heavy objects, he had developed some muscle from running around all day.

When he was in his twenties, his mother asked a matchmaker to find him a girl from a small village on the outskirts of the county town.

The girl agreed to date him because she thought he was good-looking. Her parents also agreed because they thought he was reliable and had a bit of muscle and was used to farm work.

So, one of them was willing to marry the other, and her parents were anxious for her to get married, so they got married in a hurry. At first, they were very happy together.

However, after spending a long time with him, the girl discovered his good-for-nothing nature. She tried to talk to him several times, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually, she gave up and stopped paying attention to him.

She started acting as both a mother and a father to support herself and her child.

As time went by, Zhao Hua's parents grew old and passed away, and the child gradually grew up.

Seeing and hearing the gossip of others, he understood his father's behavior.

I can't really feel close to a father like that.

The child has grown up, bought a house through his own hard work, and is living his own life. He probably understands that he can't rely on his father.

Less than two years later, his wife developed a host of illnesses due to overwork in her youth.

She doesn't have the money for her treatment, and it's already a struggle for her son to get married.

He could only watch helplessly as his wife left him.

Several more years passed in a daze, and then he suddenly realized that his parents were gone, his wife was gone, his son and daughter-in-law didn't care about him, and no one would support such a useless person like him anymore.

Life goes on, and in the end, you have to support yourself. When I was young, I traveled around and learned some skills.

When you're over fifty, nobody wants to hire you when you go out to find work; being idle when you're young makes you seem younger.

I hung out with my fellow villagers, doing odd jobs like bricklaying here and pretending to be a welder there, barely managing to make a living. Over the years, I learned quite a bit.

As the construction site was nearing completion, the scaffolding outside the building began to be dismantled. I rushed to finish my part of the work before it was completely dismantled, and before it was all done, I ran over to check if anything had been left behind.

Without noticing, he stepped into empty space. The support frame under the bamboo raft was pulled away, and since the raft was blocking his view, he fell directly down onto it.

As I plummeted down, besides panic, I was also thinking that at least I could leave some compensation money for my son, so that they could at least benefit from their father's legacy in this lifetime.

When Zhao Hua opened his eyes and saw that familiar scene, he was momentarily dazed.

Is this what people often refer to as a "revolving lantern"? But I heard that the revolving lantern started in childhood, so where has it gone?

After sitting quietly for a while, and finding that the scene had not changed, he tentatively stretched his hand outwards.

You can reach out and touch the side normally. The feedback is a real tactile sensation. Run your hand along it, and ouch, you get pricked by a burr. It hurts. It's real, and it really feels like you've arrived at this little house.

What's going on here? How did I get here? And why does it look so much like the side room in my grandparents' house?

Zhao Hua was full of questions.

I tentatively stepped onto the ground, found it firm, took a few steps, and crouched down to go out into the main room. There was no one inside. I looked up and saw a row of large wooden cabinets against the wall with flowers and birds of the four seasons hanging above them.

That's right, it's Grandma's house, but why did I come back to this place? Where are my parents? Is it because my grandparents favor me more that I was brought here?

At that moment, the people outside heard the noise.

"Xiao Hua, wake up. There's still some taro porridge left in the pot. Keep it warm. Wash your face and go eat."

An old woman walked in; she looked exactly like my grandmother from my memories.

Zhao Hua stared blankly for a while, trying to open his mouth to call for the pacifier, but it seemed as if his mouth was glued shut.

"Why are you still standing here? Go wash up and eat. Everyone else has finished eating and left, you're the only one who hasn't eaten yet. Go and eat."

"Okay! I'll go right away."

"What are you talking about? Where did you learn that from? Your accent is so weird."

"..."

I forgot for a moment that when I was traveling around the country, people couldn't understand my hometown dialect, so I learned to speak Mandarin.

With little money in his pocket, he couldn't find another partner. His home was deserted, and no one was waiting for him. He didn't want to go to his son's place and make a fool of himself. Having been away from home for many years, he had gotten used to speaking Mandarin.

"No, no one. Why are you the only one here? Where's my grandpa?"

"They went out early this morning, go and eat first."

Zhao Hua walked out and headed towards the kitchen.

At this time, the kitchen was a small room built next to the main room, specifically for cooking and also for storage, since every household didn't have much space and it would fill up quickly if you just piled some things up.

As Zhao Hua walked along the road, he felt that the surroundings were becoming more and more vibrant, and the sunlight was also very dazzling. He squinted slightly and looked around.

All I could see were familiar sights; there was none of the gloomy, gray feeling I had imagined the underworld to be like.

More memories began to flood my mind.

Suddenly a thought popped into my head:

"Could I have been reborn?"