Crazy Nezha

Li Tianbao would absolutely not allow Chen Rui to go to his new home.

Putting aside the strong smell of cows in the house, bringing a girl home late at night, a man and a woman alone in a room together, would damage the girl's reputation if word got out.

Li Tianbao is a person who values ​​his reputation highly!

The reason for his refusal was simple: his old friend, who was temporarily staying at his new home, had an infection after his circumcision and couldn't wear pants, so it wouldn't be convenient for a woman to go.

Chen Rui said she wanted to go see a movie, so Li Tianbao downloaded a VPN app on her phone and told her to go home and watch it for free.

I'll never pay if I can get something for free; good friends should share good things.

Actually, the most important thing is that tonight is a time for cultivation! Just thinking about it is exciting.

At the entrance of Xiaonanmen Hutong, Li Tianbao took out a newly bought set of underwear from under the seat of his electric scooter and handed it over.

"If your bra is too small, you can go to the supermarket to exchange it yourself tomorrow. I haven't lost the receipt."

Out of professional instinct, Chen Rui sensed something was off, but couldn't quite put her finger on it. "Big star, something's not right. What happened?"

"It's nothing," Li Tianbao said as he got into the car, turning back with a smile. "I'll give you a surprise in a few days."

Chen Rui frowned slightly. "Li Tianbao, what exactly happened?"

"I'm really fine, why are you acting so strange?" Li Tianbao retorted.

"Did you and your dad have another fight?"

Li Tianbao's face darkened, and he said indifferently, "I'm leaving first. My friend is waiting, and the ramen is all soggy."

Chen Rui stopped talking, feeling that she had guessed correctly. Watching him ride away, she called out loudly, "Li Tianbao, lock your electric bike in the community. There have been battery thieves lately. They specifically target places without surveillance cameras."

"Okay~"

……

Li Tianbao rode his electric bike, facing the evening breeze, weaving through the streets and alleys of Xincheng. He calculated the time; it was almost 11 o'clock, which was the midnight hour that Xiaotianquan had mentioned.

As we drove along, late at night, we saw municipal workers spraying pesticides on the roadside green belts, flowers, and plants to kill pests. The government is really going all out this time for the civilized city selection.

In Hengbi Garden, Building 1, Room 703, Li Tianbao, carrying two takeout boxes, entered the password to open the door.

*Snap!* The light is on.

In the living room, the cow lay on its side, its eyes glazed over, like a delicate young woman, while the celestial dog licked its own crotch.

"Third Prince!" "Third Master!"

The cow and the dog stood up.

Li Tianbao opened a box of ramen and placed it on the ground.

"Xiaotian, your ramen."

The celestial dog began to munch and puff away.

He then placed another box of vegetables on the ground, saying, "Leopard Head, I made you a bowl of vegetables."

The cow finished chewing in a few bites, completely oblivious. "Third Prince, I'm hungry."

That's normal. It's a huge animal with four stomachs, so this little bit of green vegetables really isn't enough to keep it moving.

Li Tianbao said, "Have something to eat first. After I finish my cultivation, I'll take you down to eat grass."

After finishing his meal, the dog licked the bowl clean. He then ran quickly to the balcony, lifted a corner of the curtain with his head, and gazed at the moonlight.

"Third Master, what time is it?"

It's almost 11 o'clock.

The Celestial Hound became serious. "At midnight, the heavens open, drawing the Qi of the Spirit Platform into the body."

Li Tianbao nodded excitedly; he had been waiting for this moment.

The Celestial Hound crouched to one side, protecting the Dharma, and said, "Enter the Qi into the Spiritual Platform without lingering. Guide the Dan Yuan and Yuan Ying to complement each other, and perform the method of transporting Qi!"

"Nascent Soul??" Li Tianbao asked in disbelief, his face filled with shock. "The kind from cultivation novels? I have a Nascent Soul, doesn't that mean I'm invincible??"

"The Nascent Soul is the manifestation of the primordial spirit like an infant; it's a metaphor, and it's also called the Holy Embryo." The Celestial Hound raised its eyebrows.

"Cultivation novels? Perhaps they borrowed from the art of alchemy! The 'Hundred Days Foundation Building' method uses the human body as a cauldron to cultivate essence, qi, and spirit, forming an inner elixir within the body, also known as the Golden Elixir."

"So, you mean primordial spirit, golden core, and nascent soul are all terms from classical texts? And not just made up by those authors?" Li Tianbao nodded, feeling that Xiaotianquan was incredibly professional.

"Let's not get into that now. When you were reincarnated, Master Taiyi planted your elixir foundation in your spiritual platform—that red ball of flesh!" The Celestial Hound explained, "At the hour of birth, the innate Qi was activated to nurture the elixir foundation until it grew to the size of an infant!"

"We need to practice both stillness and movement exercises, Third Master. Let's begin, one step at a time."

"Come on!" Li Tianbao sent a message to his second uncle, saying he wouldn't be going back tonight! Without waiting for his second uncle's reply, he immediately put his phone on silent.

Next, the Celestial Hound explained the cultivation method to Li Tianbao in detail.

He began to concentrate his mind and calm his breath, channeling the Qi from his dantian to his spiritual platform, enveloping the "lump of flesh" like mist.

Under Li Tianbao's internal vision, the fleshy mass gradually turned into an oval, its outline became clearer, and the veins on its surface became visible. The top protruded slightly, like a caterpillar.

I've seen articles online about the development of a fertilized egg before, and it seems to start like this.

Li Tianbao could clearly feel that this "fertilized egg" seemed to be absorbing his own vital energy, and a life force was slowly emerging in his spiritual platform.

After meditating for an unknown amount of time, Li Tianbao opened his eyes.

The Celestial Hound beamed with delight: "Third Master, are we definitely leaving?"

Li Tianbao asked, "How long have I been sitting?"

"More than three hours." Seeing this, the Celestial Hound immediately offered his guidance:

"Don't speak. First, finish the exercise and gather all the scattered energy in your limbs into your dantian. Don't rush. Let your mind follow your exhale and your breath follow your inhale. Don't chase, guide, or urge."

Following its instructions, Li Tianbao calmed his breathing and returned it to his dantian for nourishment.

"Alright. Today's meditation session is complete."

Li Tianbao checked the time; it was already 2 a.m. His phone had several missed calls from his second uncle, as well as messages from him, many of which mentioned: "Remember to wear a condom."

"Damn. My second uncle is a complete lunatic!" He was involved in gangs and violence when he was young, and now he's so lewd?

Li Tianbao was both amused and exasperated. He locked his phone and exclaimed, "I feel incredibly energetic right now, like I have a force I want to unleash!"

The celestial dog asked, "Do you want to have sex with someone?"

Li Tianbao: "..."

"Still want to fight?"

Li Tianbao looked puzzled. "To be honest, I really want to! Why does practicing this stuff have such a lewd and violent tendency?"

Leopard Head said, "It's all fate, just like you back then! You only achieved minor mastery of supernatural powers and killed a dragon."

Li Tianbao said, "I won't kill indiscriminately. This era is different. Now it's a society governed by law, not so chaotic. I'll just cultivate quietly and not cause trouble."

The celestial dog offered a suggestion, "Hmm, if you can't control yourself when it comes to matters of the heart, you can buy a cup, or find a wife openly and honestly. You're an adult, it's not illegal!"

Li Tianbao was dumbfounded. "Xiaotian, how do you know so much? You even know about cups."

"Third Master, I've been in the mortal world for three years and seen many things! Try to control that power!" Xiaotian shook his dog head. "Leopard Head, help Third Master."

"What do you mean?" Li Tianbao asked, puzzled. "A contest of strength with a bull?"

"Yes."

The cow suddenly charged at him, and Li Tianbao tensed up. In a daze, he felt time around him slow down, as if a movie was in slow motion. But it only lasted for a moment before returning to normal. However, his hands had already instinctively gripped the cow's horns.

This time, Li Tianbao clearly felt a surge of power emanating from his dantian, flowing throughout his entire body.

Unlike the last outburst under stress, this time, it felt like I was handling it with ease.

A man and an ox were locked in a battle of strength. Li Tianbao gripped the ox's horns with both hands and pushed forward with all his might, his strength matching that of the ox.

After a few minutes of stalemate, the cow relaxed and exclaimed, "Third Prince, you are indeed a cultivation prodigy! You've only practiced the Jade Void Heart Method once, and you're already so magnanimous."

Li Tianbao asked, "What was the 'Jade Void Heart Method' that you just taught me?"

The Celestial Hound quickly replied, "I don't have that kind of ability. I just taught you how to guide your innate Qi. That technique is something you were born with."

Li Tianbao suddenly realized that, in other words, to cultivate stillness, one only needs to sit quietly and return to one's origin to cultivate on one's own, which is equivalent to sitting in meditation and idling in a game.

The Celestial Hound continued, "Third Master, that's all for the stillness exercises. Dynamic exercises are also very important; you need to temper your physique!"

"Also, you need to have real combat experience, to fight or be fought, to unleash your potential! But don't rush that, let's solidify the foundation first."

Leopard Head said, "Third Prince, I'm so hungry. We've finished our cultivation. Can I go down and eat grass now?"

Li Tianbao was in a great mood and readily said, "Come on, there's no one outside in the middle of the night anyway, eat as much as you want."