Crazy Nezha

A man, a dog, and a cow took the elevator under construction and went downstairs. It was past 2 a.m., and there was no one in the community. The security guard was sitting in the guard booth, half asleep.

Li Tianbao rode his electric bike slowly, leading the cows, onto the street.

"Let's go to the front. There's a small grove of trees near the back gate of the park, with lots of grass."

The cow's eyes widened at the sight of the neat rows of holly trees lining both sides of the road, its mouth watering. "These green belts look so delicious!"

"You can't eat the green belt, and there are cameras everywhere. Don't go looking for trouble," Li Tianbao complained.

The three arrived at Shihe Park. Since there was a U-shaped iron fence at the entrance that restricted electric vehicles from entering, he let the cow graze in the woods outside while he and Xiaotianquan went into the park.

Li Tianbao picked up a mop handle and used it as a spear. Next to the elephant slide in the park, he took off his coat, revealing a red thermal undershirt and a pair of red socks!

Anyway, there wasn't a soul in the park in the middle of the night, so Li Tianbao didn't feel embarrassed.

"Third Master, are you wearing this red outfit to try out the acting method?" Xiaotian asked.

Li Tianbao nodded: "Nezha is red, and this year happens to be my birth year, so I specially bought two sets of red thermal underwear. Maybe it will come in handy."

Wearing a thermal undershirt and long johns, Li Tianbao leaned on a long wooden stick, closed his eyes for a moment, then flicked the inside of his right foot, kicking the mop handle horizontally and suspending it in the air, which Li Tianbao then grabbed with one hand.

He executed a spear flourish, then smoothly blocked, seized, and thrust into the center!

The spear moved like a dragon, then the slashing spear brought the wind, the thrusting spear was as fast as lightning, and the striking spear shook with force. It was all based on instinct, and he performed it quite well.

The Celestial Hound was taken aback and asked, "Third Master, did you learn marksmanship before with this body?"

"That's just mindless dancing, isn't that how it is in martial arts movies on TV?" Li Tianbao said casually as he waved his hand.

The young man in the red thermal underwear moved with remarkable grace. Under the night sky, beside the park's slide, Li Tianbao resembled a martial arts performer on a theatrical stage.

With a single, fluid motion, he chopped, struck, blocked, and stabbed with the wooden stick in his hand. His movements were smooth as he moved forward, backward, and spun around. Finally, he took a step back, twisted his waist, and turned around, delivering a crisp and sharp counterattack that stabbed the elephant slide in the backside.

"I want to buy a Nezha costume online."

Li Tianbao, maintaining his stance, exclaimed incredulously, "The acting method is amazing! The more immersed I am, the more skilled my marksmanship becomes!"

The Celestial Dog was deeply moved: "Third Master, I can't even imagine what a magnificent spectacle it would be if you wore the Nezha costume and played the role!"

Li Tianbao holstered his gun, slung it over his shoulder, and gazed at the moonlight, sighing, "May this prosperous age be as I wish!"

After strolling around the park for a while and playing with his spear for over ten minutes to vent his frustrations, Li Tianbao felt much better and didn't want to have sex with anyone.

"A perfect balance of movement and stillness, truly professional. Xiaotian, I can sense that infant within my mind is also undergoing training!"

The Celestial Dog nodded, "Excellent."

"It's a pity that we live in a peaceful and prosperous era. There are no bandits or tyrants, no demons or monsters. It's really a bit lonely."

Li Tianbao finished dressing, snapped his fingers, and Xiaotianquan followed. "Leopard Head should have eaten enough. Let's go back. The sanitation workers will be on duty soon."

As the two walked out of Shihe Park, Li Tianbao's face suddenly darkened as soon as they reached the entrance.

Beside his electric scooter, a thin man was squatting, holding a screwdriver in his hand, rapidly tightening the battery mounting screws while his other hand had already pried open the battery cover. His movements were swift and furtive, clearly those of a habitual thief.

The battery has been removed!

In the dead of night, he encountered a battery thief? Li Tianbao was overjoyed. His wish had come true! He just wanted a legitimate reason to test his newly mastered Thirteen Deadly Shots technique. You're the one, little thief, I like you!

The thief had sharp ears; upon hearing footsteps, he suddenly looked up and saw a young man standing in the distance, carrying a stick on his shoulder and accompanied by a dog.

Walking your dog in the park late at night? There are some people like that!

The thief immediately straightened up, took a half step back, his eyes wary, and quietly hid the screwdriver behind his back, assuming a posture as if he was about to run away at any moment.

"Brother, is this your electric scooter? I'll put the battery back for you, and we can call it even?" The thief was starting to feel guilty.

Li Tianbao said calmly, "Xiaotian, go."

The celestial hound lowered its body, barked twice, and pounced on the thief.

Seeing this, the thief quickly came up with a plan and bent down to pick up a stone from the ground.

The Celestial Hound abruptly stopped, its ears tucked back, and its steps halted abruptly. Its primal instincts kicked in, and it dared not charge forward any further.

Li Tianbao was both angry and amused, shouting, "Xiaotian, he's just scaring you! There aren't any stones on the ground!"

Upon hearing this, the celestial dog was about to pounce forward again, but the thief immediately bent down again and pretended to pick up a stone. The dog timidly stopped in place again. After several such attempts, the thief managed to keep the dog firmly under his control.

"Third Prince, this is fucking weird! I know he's just trying to scare me, but I'm still scared!" The Celestial Hound barked twice, turning around. "You should call the police. Isn't this supposed to be a society governed by law?"

The thief's face hardened, and he glared fiercely at Li Tianbao with a threatening look in his eyes, clearly trying to intimidate him with his imposing manner.

Li Tianbao raised his hand and smiled calmly; he had no intention of calling the police at all.

Seeing that the young man was quite bold, the thief immediately pulled out a switchblade to scare him, and whispered, "Brother, are you trying to force me to commit a crime?"

Seeing that the other party had a knife, Li Tianbao suppressed his wild joy and quickly took off his coat and pants.

When the red thermal underwear appeared, Li Tianbao felt like he had been elevated to a higher level.

The thief was dumbfounded and didn't know what was going on with this guy for a moment!

Li Tianbao stood with his spear held horizontally, striking a pose.

The celestial dog guessed that Third Master was about to make a move and quickly warned, "Third Master, don't be careless! You don't have a spearhead!"

Li Tianbao said calmly, "Who said you can't stab someone without a spearhead?"

The thief looked around, calculating his escape route. He felt that this guy seemed to have something wrong with his head; mentally ill people were really not to be trifled with.

"Trying to run away?"

The thief tossed the battery forward, turned, and ran off at breakneck speed! Then, the sound of horses' hooves could be heard ahead!

Just as Li Tianbao was about to rush over, he heard a rapid rumble of hooves.

A cow appeared on the road, crashed through the green belt, and charged towards us.

The cow charged wildly, horns drooping, its moo deafening, "Third Prince, get out of the way! I'm going to run him over!"

The thief froze on the spot, his eyes filled with bewilderment. How could there be cows on Xiping Street? Is this even in China?!

At this moment, the celestial dog also rushed over, and the thief had nowhere to escape, being forced against the wall by the ox and the dog.

At the entrance of the alley, against the wall, the thief leaned against the wall, panting heavily.

A cow and a large dog slowly approached, blocking his way!

The thief looks so surreal, the art style is so strange.

"What's going on?!"

The next moment, the cow-man stood up, took two steps forward, and let out a loud moo! The background was a bright moon at the entrance of the alley.

"Holy crap!!" The thief's eyes widened in confusion, then turned to terror. He leaned against the wall and slowly sat down on the ground, his crotch soaked.

At that moment, the young man in red was walking slowly from behind the cow, carrying a wooden stick, with an elegant posture.

"Brother, please call the police, I'm begging you," the thief pleaded.

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