Crazy Nezha

Xincheng, entrance to the inpatient department of the Sixth Mental Hospital.

It was already 10:30 in the morning.

Li Tianbao sat cross-legged by the flower bed at the entrance of the first-floor inpatient department, with a hand saw next to him.

He breathed in, inhaled, and sat still. He felt a restless energy in his dantian, like a piece of driftwood being held underwater, which was trying to break through the surface.

"Third Master, cultivation requires intention, not force," a husky barked at him from the side.

Outside the courtyard were police officers and hospital security guards, their eyes wary. Among them was Sun Baoqiang, who had been brought in for a mental evaluation, and they were all watching Li Tianbao, who was meditating.

The officers from the Public Security Bureau started discussing, "Should we handcuff him?"

"Someone just called the police, saying he sawed a cow in half with a chainsaw. Wouldn't that be considered a violent act?"

The lead security guard said in a deep voice, "Don't touch him yet. Wait for the doctor to arrive. Xiao Liu, go and quietly bring over that chainsaw."

A uniformed security guard cautiously walked over and took the chainsaw away.

The young mentally ill man who was sitting in meditation remained unmoved, but the husky glanced at the security guard and barked softly a few times.

Li Tianbao closed his eyes and sat in meditation, oblivious to everything around him, muttering to himself, "My lower abdomen feels so hot and uncomfortable."

"Third Master, you're about to break through. Take it slow, don't go astray!"

"Why is this happening? It doesn't feel the same as last night. I want to stop, but I can't! There's something pushing up in my lower abdomen, like when I'm drunk and want to vomit!"

The Celestial Dog said, "Third Master, the Yin Fire is in power at the hour of Si (9-11 AM), like a piece of driftwood on the bottom of the water. The nature of fire is to rise. The more you suppress it, the stronger it will rebound. Relax your mind and guide your breath to slowly flow through your meridians, using the strong fire of the hour of Si to temper it."

Hearing Xiaotianquan's words, Li Tianbao felt at ease and let the heat surge in his dantian without trying to suppress it.

The security guard next to him frowned. "This dog keeps barking, as if it's trying to wake up its little owner."

"Hmm, maybe he's hungry. Xiao Liu, go to the convenience store by the gate and buy two sausages. Get the dog away first, I'm afraid he'll go crazy and scratch around. Dogs are protective of their owners."

Sun Baoqiang, who was brought in for a mental evaluation, lay beside the police car, still in a cow-like posture, mooing.

"The doctor is here."

Dr. Wang, who rushed over, was stunned by the scene before him. The medical staff beside him were explaining what had happened...

After listening, Dr. Wang frowned. As the backbone of the group, he couldn't panic; he had to reassure everyone.

Besides, this is the son of my senior from high school. I just called her and assured her that Li Tianbao's problem was minor and he would recover soon.

But seeing Li Tianbao covered in cow blood, Dr. Wang panicked. He raised his hand, his face calm and collected, and said indifferently, "It's not a big problem. Xiao He, go to the pharmacy and get a vial of haloperidol."

The medical staff nodded, and the group hurriedly left.

Dr. Wang walked over, squatted down, and whispered, "Li Tianbao, can you hear me?"

Li Tianbao opened his eyes, saw Dr. Wang, and gave him a polite smile.

"Dr. Wang, you've arrived."

Dr. Wang felt much more relaxed, realizing it wasn't as serious as he had suspected. Since the man could recognize people, things would be much easier.

"Xiao Li, have you had breakfast yet?"

When dealing with mental patients, the first thing to do is to build rapport and establish a friendly relationship. You can't use a doctor's attitude to pressure them; you have to become their friend and get into their hearts!

This is Dr. Wang's professional philosophy.

Li Tianbao: "I've already eaten. Have you eaten?"

"Hehe, I've already eaten. I had hot dry noodles. What did you eat?"

Li Tianbao: "Boiled beef brain."

Dr. Wang's expression remained unchanged, maintaining a gentle smile. "Why did you kill the breast milk...?"

Li Tianbao interrupted and asked, "Dr. Wang, I saw three balls of fire in my stomach." In reality, he was asking about the dog.

Shock filled the Celestial Hound's eyes. "Third Master, you can't cultivate the Samadhi True Fire right now! Your current body can't withstand it!!"

Li Tianbao: "What is Samadhi True Fire?"

Xiaotian: "The lowest level is corrupted by the fire of the people! The middle level is corrupted by the fire of the ministers! The highest level is corrupted by the fire of the ruler! The seed of the Samadhi True Fire should be sprouting in your belly!"

"Get that dog away, it keeps barking. The patient needs quiet." Dr. Wang's eyelids twitched slightly, but he remained calm and said with a smile, "It's like a burst of inner fire..."

Li Tianbao interrupted, "It's not 'sanwei,' it's 'sanmei'!"

"Ah, actually it's also a flavor. Sanmei is three different flavors of Lay's potato chips: tomato, cucumber, and barbecue..." Dr. Wang's smile remained unchanged. When dealing with the patient's nonsense, he had to go along with it and guide him into something that was easy to understand and enjoy in daily life.

The celestial hound barked wildly, "Third Master, stop! Stop now! Your body can't take it! You absolutely mustn't cultivate the Samadhi True Fire now!!"

Li Tianbao's face grew increasingly pale. "I...I can't stop! I'm so hot! I want to masturbate!"

"Fight! Let's find a secluded place to fight! We'll fight it out!" Xiaotianquan tried to bite Li Tianbao's clothes and pulled him hard. Just then, his neck was put in a dog leash and he was pulled away by the security guard.

Li Tianbao tried to move, but found he couldn't; his body was getting hotter and hotter.

"Li Tianbao, how are you feeling? Have some mineral water." Dr. Wang handed him the water.

Li Tianbao didn't take it. Dr. Wang reached out and touched his head. His head was so hot...

Dr. Wang frowned, turned his head and called out, "Get a thermometer, quick! Ibuprofen, this child has a high fever. Naproxen too."

Medical staff rushed to the pharmacy, and soon a thermometer was brought over. Dr. Wang took Li Tianbao's temperature by pointing it at his forehead.

"40 degrees Celsius! She has a high fever!"

I measured it again, "42 degrees?"

Dr. Wang's eyes widened, and he took the temperature again. "49 degrees!!"

"This thermometer is broken! Go get a new one!" Dr. Wang roared.

He checked again, and the thermometer screen went black—it was broken. Dr. Wang thought to himself, "That junk thermometer they bought must have been bought with kickbacks; it's unreliable!"

Just as Dr. Wang reached out to touch his forehead, she was startled by a screech of brakes, and withdrew her hand. A police motorcycle screeched to a halt and pulled alongside her.

"Li Tianbao! You bastard!!" A little girl with a high ponytail jumped off the bus.

Chen Rui's eyes were red-rimmed, her expression complex, and she choked back tears, "Li Tianbao, didn't you say you were going home? Why didn't you answer my calls!"

When Li Tianbao saw Chen Rui crying, it felt as if a knife had been plunged into his heart! He was extremely distressed, his body temperature plummeted, and he felt waves of coolness wash over him.

Chen Rui's tears were like a bucket of water, extinguishing the three flames in Li Tianbao's dantian. He breathed a sigh of relief, and his mind became much clearer.

The sound of the Howling Celestial Dog echoed in Li Tianbao's ears.

"Third Master, hold on! Stop practicing the Samadhi True Fire! Your body can't handle it! You might explode, and everyone here will be burned to death!"

Chen Rui glanced to the side and saw the husky, leashed, barking wildly at Li Tianbao.

Li Tianbao was secretly alarmed. He had accidentally ignited the three seeds in his dantian! I can't act recklessly; I have to listen to Xiaotian!

Dr. Wang took the newly acquired thermometer and measured Li Tianbao's temperature again, finding it to be only 39 degrees Celsius. After several more measurements, the temperature remained around 39 degrees Celsius, and Dr. Wang immediately breathed a sigh of relief.

Dr. Wang said with a smile, "Little Li, look, your girlfriend is here too. You two are enjoying your time together, I won't be a third wheel. Let's take our ibuprofen first."

Dr. Wang smiled and stepped back, gesturing for everyone around to quiet down.

Chen Rui squatted down opposite Li Tianbao, crying as she asked, "You liar, did you do this on purpose? Did you deliberately embarrass yourself to dump me? Did you deliberately try to anger your father?"

Li Tianbao smiled faintly and said, "Chen Rui, I'm sick. I need to see a doctor first."

Chen Rui cried even harder, nodding between sobs, "Let's get medical treatment first. If Western medicine doesn't work, we'll try traditional Chinese medicine. If small cities don't work, we'll go to big cities. If domestic treatments don't work, we'll go abroad... If it can be cured, it definitely can be cured. My dad has money, and your family has money too. We can afford it."

Li Tianbao raised a bloodied hand, intending to wipe away her tears, but his hand hovered in mid-air before he withdrew it.

"Chen Rui, I got sick after my dad killed that bullfrog in the second semester of second grade."

"That bullfrog didn't suffocate in my schoolbag, my dad killed it by dropping it! He killed it right in front of me! I didn't tell you, I was too embarrassed. Do you know why? That day, your dad bought you a whole brood of silkworms."

"My dad wouldn't buy me silkworms, so I secretly dug up a few earthworms and raised them in my second uncle's flower bed. I'm so envious of you guys who have silkworms."

"Chen Rui, your dad would never throw your dolls or the silkworms he raises."

"I took very good care of the bullfrog, how could I possibly suffocate him? The bullfrog is my good friend, his name is Longlong. He said that in our past life, we played shuttlecock together on the beach and built houses on the sand with twigs."

"The night Longlong was thrown to his death, I dreamed that the bullfrog turned into a white dragon, and I rode it in the sky. There was the sea, a giant turtle, and skyscrapers. We flew over Yancheng, Shanghai, Guangzhou, Suzhou, and many other places."

"In my dream, there was my second uncle, you, and a short-haired woman I didn't recognize! But there was no father, no mother!" Li Tianbao spoke whatever came to mind, his eyes full of longing, as if he had really ridden a dragon and flown to the sky.

"Hey, don't cry. Go back to work. My illness is easily treated; I'll be fine after taking the medicine. I'm now a severely ill patient, so I won't end up in jail for stealing someone's cow. I think this is something to celebrate; it's a good thing."

Chen Rui said in a deep voice, "I've already compensated for the cost of the cow, and I've settled privately with the factory! They didn't sue you because I wanted things to go well for you, thinking you were scared. I was just trying to frighten you. They're a business; they won't sue a madman like you over a cow!!"

Li Tianbao was stunned. "Huh? They're not going to sue me? Then I've just wasted my time eating cow brains! No way, you have to let them sue, otherwise all my efforts will have been for nothing!"

Chen Rui's eyelashes trembled with anger, while Li Tianbao reverted to his indifferent demeanor, which was incredibly irritating!

"Yes, we won't sue you."

Li Tianbao: "Why didn't you say so earlier? Why didn't you say so sooner?"

Chen Rui: "You blocked me!"

"You should have said so sooner."

Chen Rui said in a deep voice, "I spent 10,001 yuan to buy that cow! The meat processing plant isn't suing you anymore; they're giving your parents face, and they're giving my parents face too!!"

Li Tianbao asked, "Why is it 10,001 yuan?"

Chen Rui: "You owe my family 10,001 yuan, remember that! Li Tianbao, if you dare to renege on your debt, I'll burn your house down!"

After Chen Rui finished speaking, she wiped away her tears, stood up, and left without looking back.

"You're not going to sue me? You should have said so earlier! Why didn't you say so sooner!" Li Tianbao shouted.

"Moo~" Sun Baoqiang crawled over and called out.

"Baoqiang, stop pretending."

"Moo~"